


Our Cryptic Love

by Dressed_In_Darkness



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Dirty Talk, Eventual Smut, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, Fluff and Humor, Gay Sex, M/M, POV Eren Yeager, Reincarnation, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Eren Yeager, Young Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2015-01-10
Packaged: 2018-02-22 07:24:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 30
Words: 115,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2499473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dressed_In_Darkness/pseuds/Dressed_In_Darkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been 2,000 years since Eren Yeager has been a titan shifter. Now, in the year 2014, he's a twenty-four year old who lives with his best friend Armin. He goes about his days working as a QA Tester, and trying to come to terms with the loss of the loved ones he still remembers with clarity from his previous life. But there's one person he simply can't forget: His former lover, Levi. It's when he's not searching for him that they cross paths once again, and their love will be tested when Eren learns that Levi not only doesn't remember their past life together, but is also fifteen years old.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. We Meet Again

**Author's Note:**

> Let me start this off by saying that I absolutely suck at summaries. Seriously, forgive me for that. With that said, I've always wanted to write a reincarnation story about Levi and Eren, and I couldn't get this idea out of my head, so I began to write like I usually do. 
> 
> The idea of a younger, less experienced Levi appeals to me like no other. Don't ask me why, it just does. Maybe it's because we've come to know him as the older one who is fully in control of Eren, and I wanted to see how things would go if the roles were switched, so that's why I made Levi the younger one in this fic. 
> 
> Also, in this fic, Eren and Armin go by their usual names, since they remember, but Erwin goes by Joe. That's basically the only name I kept changed, because even though Armin, Eren, and Hanji were born with different names, I had them fight to keep the names they used to be known as. Levi was named Levi again, and I'll reveal why in future chapters. 
> 
> Marked explicit for later chapters, as well.
> 
> Anyhoo, enjoy!

Sometimes you can pinpoint the exact moment in your life when things begin to go wrong. For me, it was the day that I started to have vivid nightmares. I was fourteen years old, too young to understand what was happening except that it involved giant humanoid creatures that invaded my thoughts every second of every day.  

            After that, the nightmares developed into intense hallucinations. I could be sitting in class when all of a sudden I wouldn’t be there anymore. Instead I’d be on horseback, riding through a dense forest, people flanking me. It would all feel so real that it took someone calling out my name to bring me back to the present.

            By the time I was sixteen, my parents had come to the conclusion that I was facing some sort of mental disability. For the longest time, I agreed with them. I must’ve been crazy if I was constantly slipping in and out of visions about a world where titans roamed the earth and I was a member of the Survey Corps, and also humanity’s last hope. I couldn’t be a titan shifter. I was just a human boy who was on the brink of losing his mind.

            The moment it dawned on me that these dreams may not be make believe was when I moved to another high school for my senior year. My mom was fed up with me getting bullied, so had decided it would be of my best interest to switch schools. At the time, I was a little pissed off about it. Even when I was getting into fights, I at least was familiar with my old school. Now, I was the new kid. Quite frankly, it just added pressure on me that I didn’t even want to begin to deal with.

            I probably would have gotten into trouble on that first day too, if I hadn’t spotted him that morning: a boy that had been a figment of my imagination up until that point. I couldn’t believe that he was here, that he was right in front of me. And even when he had a different haircut, it was undoubtedly him.

            For the rest of the day, I followed him. I didn’t even care that I was late to my first three classes, or getting strange glances. I waited until lunchtime came around before I approached him.

            “Armin,” I said the moment he stepped out of his third hour.

            The boy looked up at me with confusion, slipping a binder into his dark-green backpack. “W-What did you just call me?”

            “I called you Armin. That’s who you are, right? Armin Arlert.”

            He shook his head, eyebrows knitting together. “No, I’m not Armin Arlert. I’m Arnold Fritz.”

            My face fell, and in that moment, I accepted that I was, in fact, crazy. “Sorry.” I turned to walk away, but the boy, Arnold, snatched my wrist, preventing me from leaving. When I turned back around to face him, I was surprised to see that he was crying.

            “I’m not Armin Arlert anymore,” he said, hesitation in his voice. “I was once, a long time ago, but…I still remember you. Eren Yeager. I never thought I’d see you again.” Then we were in each other’s arms, sobbing loudly, uncaring of the stares being thrown our way.

            From that day on, we were inseparable. Turns out, I wasn’t crazy at all. These weren’t hallucinations, but flashbacks of a past life. According to Armin—I would always call him that instead of Arnold—we had been reincarnated.

            Up until I was eighteen, I only remembered battles. I couldn’t remember anything in detail or my feelings toward anyone in my memories. I knew Armin had been my best friend, but I couldn’t conjure up how I had felt about him in that life. Then, I started to dream of someone else that changed all of that.

            The flashbacks I had of this man were different from all the previous ones. Whenever I had one of him, I longed to be back there, to feel his hands caressing me, to have his lips pressing against mine in a hungry kiss. I could remember with the utmost clarity the sound of his voice, the feel of his breath on the nape of my neck, his body moving against mine in rhythmic passion.

            Levi. I could remember how I felt about him. I loved him. And the more I thought of him, the more I recalled our time together, which only served to push me into the realization that I was still utterly in love with him.

            Before remembering Levi, I never longed to find anyone from my past life. I found Armin by chance, and that was good enough for me. But once I could remember how it felt to be with Levi, I started to remember my feelings toward the other people in my past life, as well.

            Mikasa, my adopted sister who was overbearing and far too overprotective of me. Where was she now? Connie, Sasha, Ymir, Krista, Jean (even him), Marco, Erwin… Were they out there somewhere? If they were, could they remember? Armin informed me that not all people who are reincarnated could remember. Still, that couldn’t stop me from wondering if they were all out there somewhere.

            Years passed, and with Armin by my side, I started to fit into society again. Though I still had sudden flashbacks and dreams, I was better able to control them. They didn’t rule my life anymore. For the most part, I accepted that that was then, and this was now. The only thing I couldn’t bring myself to let go was Levi and Mikasa. If they were out there, I would find them.

            Now I was twenty-four years old and sharing an apartment with Armin. I worked as a QA Tester, while he worked as a real estate agent. Together we made quite a bit of money, but neither of us found it necessary to rent a bigger apartment. After all, it was just the two of us.

            The end of October was drawing near as fall came with the color of leaves changing, pumpkin flavored beverages, and costume attire in every retail store. Halloween was by far my favorite holiday, so our apartment was decked out in befitting decorations. Cobwebs covered our front door, our windows were plastered with ghost decals, and huge black spiders hung from the branches of the tree in the “front yard” area. Not that it was really a front yard, but no one else was decorating the tree located at the front of the apartment complex, so I took it upon myself.

            It was Friday afternoon, and I had just played an FPS game for the last six hours straight. Work or not, I was officially done with the game for the next twenty-four hours. I had played it all the way through once, writing down any glitches or lags I'd come across during gameplay, so I’d report back to my manager first thing tomorrow morning.

            Padding into the kitchen, I saw Armin sitting down at the dining table with his laptop, typing away. Most likely he was responding to his clients emails. Being a real estate agent did not sound fun at all. I would never understand why he chose that job. Then again, he was a lot better with people than I ever would be.

            “Hey, Armin,” I said, grabbing a can of ginger ale from the fridge. I went to go sit down in the seat next to his. “Working?”

            He finished whatever he was typing up before he answered me. “Yeah. A newly wed couple is looking for a two-story house, but they can’t seem to make up their minds. I swear I’ve shown them more than thirty houses in the past two weeks, but none of them seem to pique their interest.”

            “I see.” What else could I say to that? It’s not like I was a genius when it came to selling houses. “Want to go catch a movie? That new horror film is out.”

            He shot me a glare. “You know I can’t handle horror movies, Eren.”

            “Aw, come on. It won’t be so bad.”

            “That’s what you said last time, and I still can’t walk through a dark hallway.”

            I laughed. “Don’t leave me hanging.”

            “I’m afraid I’m going to have to.”

            “Armin,” I said, my voice slipping into that I’ll-whine-until-you-agree-with-me tone. “Come on. Come on, Armin. Armin. Armiiiiiiiinnn.”

            “Geez, all right! Just let me send these pictures, and then we’ll go.”

            I smiled in triumph, then left to go into my bedroom to change into a different set of clothes. Once I slipped into a comfortable white long sleeve crew neck shirt, and tan cargo shorts, I walked back out to the living room. While I waited for Armin, I received a text from my mom. I cringed as I read the name I was born with in this life. Michael Foster.

            Ugh!

            I replied that I was doing just fine, and I did not, in fact, need her to drop by and check up on me. Despite her radical beliefs that I would set everything within my reach on fire, I was actually quite a responsible adult. All right, that was a bit on the exaggerated side, but I could take care of myself. That’s what mattered, right?

            A few minutes later, Armin came out of his bedroom and we left. It was only a fifteen-minute drive to the movie theatres, so we managed to snag snacks before the theatre room was completely full. We sat in one of the back rows in the very center, which, according to Armin, were the best seats. I didn’t care where we sat, so long as I got a good view of the screen.

            Chewing on popcorn, I ignored the people bustling into the theatre. That was until a few rowdy teenagers came in, sitting a few seats in front of us. It was a group of three: two boys, one girl. The girl was exceptionally loud, laughing at something on the screen, which was strange considering it was just an advertisement for keeping your cell phones off during the movie.

            “Teenagers,” Armin said under his breath, biting off a mouthful of licorice.

            “We used to be those.”

            He snorted. “I never acted that way.”

            “That’s because you’re an old soul. Quite literally.”

            “Shut up. Not every one can be a loud mouth Eren Yeager.”

            I shoved him with my shoulder. “You’re right. Not everyone can be as exceptionally sexy as I am. It’s a gift, really.”

            Armin just rolled his eyes, sticking out his tongue to show me chewed up bits of the candy that was once red licorice.

            “Real mature,” I said.

            The lights dimmed, and we both focused our attention on the screen. After the horridly long commercials, the movie began to play and I was engrossed within minutes. About halfway through the movie, the girl from earlier started giggling obnoxiously.

            My eyes darted around until they landed on her, and she was muttering something to one of the boys she was with. I couldn’t really make out her face, since it was too dark in the theatre, but I was seriously considering throwing a piece of popcorn in her general direction—adulthood maturity be damned. 

            Trying my best to ignore her spouts of laughter, I concentrated on the movie, which was becoming a lot more difficult the louder she got. Someone else shouted for her to shut up, but she just responded with more laughter. God, I was about to go down there and strangle her.

            I wasn’t sure how many minutes passed, but when she started squawking out random profanities, I decided enough was enough.

            “Will you shut the fuck up?” I shouted, which earned me a lot of looks, but I just glared at whoever was staring at me. They quickly looked away.

            The girl turned around in her seat. “Make me, douchebag!”

            Okay, fuck this.

            I stood up, and one of her friends mumbled, “Shit,” but I was done with this bullshit. Once I was in the aisle, I walked down to the lining of seats they were in and sidestepped passed angry looking people. Fuck them, too.

            When I finally reached the girl, I stopped, all my anger disappearing within a millisecond. “Holy shit,” I said, at the same time she said, “Holy fucking donkey balls!”

            “Hanji.” I couldn’t believe my eyes. She was a lot younger then I had ever seen her before, but she still wore thick glasses and had her hair fashioned back in her trademark messy ponytail.

            “Eren,” she said. “You remember!”   

            A lot of people were now yelling at the both of us, and Hanji made one of her friends move a seat down so I could sit next to her. When I was seated, she turned to face me.

            “I’m surprised you’re talking to _me_ ,” she whispered.

            “Huh? What are you talking about? Of course I’m talking to you. I _know_ you.”

            She slightly jerked her head to the right, eyes moving in the same direction. I followed the movement, my eyes coming to land on a very young and horribly adorable Levi.           

            Oh fuck. Oh shit. He was here! I found him! He looked no older than sixteen.

            “I think I’m going to throw up,” I whispered.

            Levi’s eyes narrowed. “Fuck you, too.”

            “What?” My eyes widened when I realized I had been looking straight at him when I had said that. “ _NO_! That’s not what I meant at all.”

            Hanji leaned toward me to whisper, “He doesn’t remember anything, and he’s only fifteen, so go easy on him.”

            Fifteen! He was only fifteen! No. This wasn’t happening right now. I wasn’t prepared for this to happen in the middle of a movie theatre. I needed air. More than that, I needed to get away from the boy who was once my lover, but was now just a kid.

            “Excuse me,” I said right before I bolted upright, making my way passed the pissed off people to the aisle. I booked it out of the theatre, and didn’t stop until I was outside, hunching over to rest my hands on my knees.

            Levi was fifteen. Though the lighting hadn’t been the best, the image of him was permanently burned into my memory. He looked so young and different. The stern, hardened face I knew was replaced with a baby, unbelievably cute teenage face. He didn’t have an undercut any longer, either. He still had it parted ever so slightly to the right, but the fringe was now connected to more hair.

            I wasn’t sure how much time passed, but when I felt a hand on my shoulder, I jumped up.

            “Relax,” Armin said. “It’s just me. What happened in there?”

            Before I could answer, Hanji came running out of the lobby, head snapping left and right until she spotted me.

            “Eren,” she shouted, running up to us. When she saw Armin, her concerned expression morphed into one of pure excitement. “ARMIN! You too!”

            “Hanji?” Armin’s face brightened, a smile lifting his lips. He hugged her, and I wished I could feel as excited as I knew they were feeling, but all I could focus on was the boy I was in love with who didn’t remember me.

            “Is this why you ran out of the theatre?” he asked me.

            I shook my head. “She was with someone.”

            He turned to her. “Who?”

            “Levi,” she said, to which Armin’s eyes came back to me. “I’m also here with Erwin. But his name is Joe now, which is really strange to get used to. Levi is still Levi, and I forced my parents to change my name from Marie to Hanji.”

            “Wait. How old are you, Hanji?” Armin asked.

            “Well, I’m fifteen. As Eren already knows, so is Levi. But Erwin is seventeen.”

            _Now_ Armin understood why I had ran out of the theatre. With how he was looking at me, I could tell he didn’t know what to say to me. Not that there were any words to console me at a time like this. What I really wanted to do was go home and sleep for days.

            “Does he remember?” Armin asked.

            Hanji let out a big sigh. “Afraid not.”

            “Oh…”

            With that, I straightened myself out and started walking in the direction of the parking lot. Hanji caught my hand before I could take another step.

            “Wait, Eren. Don’t go just yet. At least give me your number. You and Armin are the only two I’ve found who actually remember, and it’s been so lonely being the only one.”

            I knew how she felt. For sixteen years I was by myself. I also knew the relief I had felt when I finally found Armin, so I could understand why she looked like she was on the verge of tears.

            “Give me your phone,” I said.

            She dug in her pocket, pulling out a sleek black iPhone. “Here.”

            I took it from her, sliding the button on the screen to unlock it. After several moments of tapping in my number, I saved it under my name and gave the phone back to her. She looked torn between wanting to keep talking to me, and going back into the theatre.

            “Do you really have to go?” she asked.

            “Yeah. I don’t think I can face him right now.”

            “He’s not even out here, though.”

            As if on cue, Levi and Erwin came striding out of the lobby. When they saw Hanji, they made their way over to her. It was around six in the afternoon, but there was still enough sunlight out to make out every inch of Levi.

            “Jesus,” I said, unable to look away from him. I ignored his glare, and just stared. I couldn’t control myself even if I tried. He was so young, skin flawless and free of any scars. The bit of shoulder I could see was smooth—no toughened skin from wearing the 3D maneuver gear for years.

            Armin kicked me in the shin hard enough to make me drop my eyes.

            “Fuck, you asshole,” I spat out.

            “Don’t mind my friend here,” he said. “He’s going through a lot of stuff right now.”

            Erwin just nodded like he wanted to get the hell out of there. He turned to Hanji, blue eyes conveying hidden messages as he said in a calm voice, “We should probably head out now.”

            “I think I’ll stick around with Eren,” she murmured. “He’s an old family friend, and it has been years since I last saw him. I want to catch up.”

            “I don’t think your parents would like that very much.”

            She rolled her eyes. “You’re not my father, Joe. Just go already.”

            “But I drove you here, so it’s my responsibility to drive you back home.”

            Hanji opened her mouth to say something back to him when Levi interrupted her with, “I’ll stay here with her, Joe. It’s all right.”

            Erwin eyed Levi like he couldn’t understand why he was siding with Hanji. To be honest, I couldn’t understand, either. “You know what? Fine. When you guys get into trouble, don’t come crying to me.” With that, he turned on his heel and stalked toward the parking lot.

            Hanji squealed with unconfined joy, throwing her arm over Levi’s shoulders, pulling him closer to her. I felt a sharp bite of jealousy at her closeness to him, but quickly beat it down. After all, he was fifteen, and I was twenty-four. And even though he had been thirty-four when I was fifteen in our past life, a lot of things had changed since then. For example, we didn’t have death hanging over our heads twenty-four seven.

            “Where do you want to go, Eren?” she asked me, practically blinding me with her smile.

            I wanted to go home. Of course that wouldn’t be a good idea. I was a complete stranger to Levi, so taking him to my house would be awkward for him. But where could I take them? My idea of fun was lounging around my couch watching Netflix for hours. That proved that I was no longer a teenager.

            “There’s going to be a meteor shower tonight,” Armin said. “If you guys want, we could go see it. I already found a perfect location for the best view.”

            Hanji jumped up and down. “Yes! I’m all for that. How about you, Levi?”

            “Sure. I don’t care,” he said, shrugging. For some reason, he looked at me, but quickly dropped his eyes when he saw that I was gazing at him. To my surprise, a blush colored his ivory cheeks a rosy red.

            I was a goner. There was no hope for me, adult or not.

            “Eren, what about you?” Armin asked, snapping me out of my reverie.

            “Oh. Yeah, sounds like a plan.”

            Armin smiled and directed Hanji and Levi toward the parking lot, making light conversation. I couldn’t focus on any of it, too wrapped up in everything that had happened in the past hour. Of all the scenarios I had dreamt of in my head over the last few years, meeting Levi in a movie theatre was definitely not one of them. Neither was he fifteen in any of my daydreams. He was always the man I knew him as.

            Looking at him now, at this younger version of the man I once called lover, I knew that I was still in love with him. Even if he wasn’t the man I remembered, he was still the person I had been searching for. And now that I had found him, I wasn’t going to let him go.

            _I’ve waited two thousand years to call you mine again, Levi. This time, we’ll be able to live happily. Even if I have to wait, it doesn’t matter, so long as I’m with you._

_I’d wait an eternity for you._


	2. Reality is Beautiful in You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group goes and sees a meteor shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've completely fallen in love with this idea. It's consuming my thoughts, which is always a good thing when you're a writer working on a story. 
> 
> This chapter was fun to write. I love these characters so much, and being able to write about them in various scenarios is a fun thing to do. I hope you enjoy this chapter.
> 
> Thank you to all who have left me comments and kudos. You guys are lovely. ♡

The moment Armin pointed out his car, Hanji bounded toward it, calling out that she was riding shotgun. I didn’t think anything of it until she turned around to wink at me. Then I realized what she was up to, and the glare I shot her could take down an army. An army of dust bunnies, that is, because all Hanji did was smile wide enough for two dimples to appear on either cheek.

            As I climbed into the backseat, I kept my attention on anything but the boy sliding into the seat next to me. There was still so much to come to terms with. For one, the love of my life was underage. Secondly, he didn’t remember anything from our previous life. I had no idea what to do in this situation. There was a part of me—the reckless, spur of the moment part—that wanted to throw caution into the wind and show my interest in him. Then there was the reasonable part of me that told me that would be a stupid thing to do. For once, I sided with that part.

            After all, this wasn’t the type of situation to dive in headfirst. There were no guarantees. If I made a wrong move, made a mistake, who’s to say that Levi wouldn’t bolt the second he got a chance to? There was no obligation for him to stick around. I wasn’t anything to him in this life, not even a friend, but I was planning on changing that. If I wanted him to be in my life, I was going to have to keep my interest in him well hidden until I was sure he returned my feelings. Otherwise there was always the possibility of me scaring him off.

            “This car suits you,” Hanji said to Armin, breaking the silence that had settled over us like a thick blanket.

            “Does it now?” Armin drove out of the parking lot, turning onto a busy street.

            “It does! Honda Fit. That practically screams your name.”

            He shrugged, turning on his signal light to merge into the center lane. “Can you guess what kind of car Eren drives?”

            She turned around in her seat to inspect me, eyes narrowing. “A heavy duty truck?”

            “Wrong,” I said. She wasn’t even close. “Looks like you don’t know me as well as you thought you did.”

            “No, wait! Give me another chance to guess.”

            “All right. But you only have one chance left.”

            She scanned me from head to foot, adjusting her glasses as though that would help her guess the right car. At last, she said, “Some type of SUV.”

            I shook my head. “Nope.”

            “Oh, come on! At least give me a hint.” She scowled at me.

            “It’s some type of sports car, right?” Levi said.

            I turned to him, surprised to see that he was already facing me. “Yeah, that’s right.”

            “I knew it.” He grinned like he was pleased with himself. “You look like the type of person who likes to drive fast.”

            “And get countless speeding tickets for street racing,” Armin added. At that, Levi laughed, and it was an incredibly intoxicating sound.

            Hanji was still brewing over not being able to guess right, mumbling something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like, “Freaking soul mates. Of _course_ he knew.”

            I glared her down for that one, but she just shrugged. Giving a quick glance in Levi’s direction assured me he hadn’t heard what she had said.

            “How do you two know each other, anyway?” Levi asked.

            Hanji unbuckled her seatbelt, ignoring Armin’s protests about safety, and climbed over the center console to plop down in between us. She threw her arm over my shoulders. “Eren and I go way back. Isn’t that right?” She looked up at me expectantly. Well, she hadn’t changed much. Still liked to cause trouble for every unsuspecting soul in her range of sight. Her former self would be enthralled with this younger, modern version of herself. I could see past Hanji wanting to do experiments on this girl sitting beside me.

            “I’m an old family friend,” I said, repeating what Hanji had told him and Erwin earlier. I couldn’t think of anything else to add to that. I wasn’t a good liar, so it was better to keep it short and undetailed.

            “She’s never mentioned you before, and you guys act like you know each other well.” He was staring at us like he knew we weren’t telling him everything there was to tell.

            Hanji seemed undeterred by this. “Of course I mentioned him! Remember those stories I told you about the titans? Who do you think told them to me?” She elbowed my arm suggestively. Though this was my first meeting with her in this life, I knew her well enough to play along with her. I knew what “stories” she was talking about, anyway.

            “You told her those?” Levi asked.

            There was no turning back now. “Yes. It was a long time ago. I didn’t think she would remember.”

            “Of course I remember, Eren!” Hanji bellowed. “How could I ever forget?” She got this far away look in her eyes as she said that last sentence, and I knew she was remembering the things we had experienced in our past life.

            If I really thought about it, this was all so strange. The people we used to be, the things we saw, seemed so unbelievable. People of this day and age would never believe us. There was no evidence that titans had ever existed, or that a fifteen-year-old boy named Eren Yeager was a titan shifter. Our previous life had been thoroughly erased from this earth.

            “That still doesn’t really explain how you two met,” Levi said, interrupting my train of thought.

            I waited for Hanji to come up with some believable lie—which she did in record time. She didn’t miss a beat. There was something incredible about her ability to invent things off the top of her head within seconds. I would never be capable of something like that.

            “He was my next door neighbor when I was little,” she said, her voice convincing, steady. Mine definitely would have wobbled, giving away the lie. Luckily for me, I had Hanji here right now. “He used to babysit me. Isn’t that right, Eren?”

            I nodded, not trusting my voice.

            “So, you used to tell her these stories when you were babysitting her?”

            “Yeah,” I said. “It was the only way to shut her up.” There was enough truth in that, that my voice remained stable and even.

            Levi tilted his head to the side, scrutinizing my face. It reminded me of how his former self would gaze at me until I broke and revealed my lie. Fortunately I wasn’t fifteen years old anymore, and didn’t crack under the pressure. Eventually, he turned his head to look out the window.

            “Do you guys mind if we stop by my apartment real quick?” Armin asked. “I would like to pick up a couple of blankets and some snacks.”

            “I don’t mind,” Hanji said right away. “Ooo! You should bring hot cocoa in a thermos. Hot cocoa and watching a meteor shower just go together.” She climbed back into the passenger seat, clapping her hands in excitement. I would say that this was her being a teenager, but the Hanji I once knew was just as excitable as this one.

            A couple of minutes later, Armin pulled up to the curb in front of our apartment complex. He shut off the car, and said, “Do you guys just want to wait out here while I go and run inside? I won’t take long at all.”

            Hanji shook her head. “I want to see your apartment. I want to go in. Eren and Levi can stay behind.”

            Armin turned to look at me. “Is that all right?” I knew what he was really asking with that question. Was it all right to leave me alone with Levi? Was I ready for that?

            “It’s fine,” I said, though I wasn’t sure if it was. But I had to start somewhere, right? This was just a baby step in the right direction.

            He gave me a “good luck” look, then stepped out of the car, Hanji right on his heel. Once they were far enough away from the car, I was all too aware of the boy sitting next to me. I was the adult. I should initiate conversation. Yet I couldn’t think of a single thing to say.

            It’s not like I could just prattle on about some unimportant topic. This wasn’t just _any_ teenager in the car with me. This was _the_ teenager, the one I was in love with. What could I talk to him about? I wanted to know everything about him. From his favorite color, to the things he thought about before he fell asleep at night. That wasn’t exactly stuff you spoke about with a complete stranger.

            In the end, Levi was the first to speak. “How old are you?”

            I jumped a little at the sound of his voice, having been too caught up in trying to think up something to say. His question caught me off guard, though. Why did he want to know?

            “Twenty-four.”

            “Oh.”

            That’s all he had to say about it? “What? What is it?”

            “Nothing,” he said. “It’s just I thought you were…younger.” He looked disappointed, and I was torn between feeling sorry for him, and being downright ecstatic that he was showing some type of interest in me. Was he disappointed because he thought I was too old to be interested in him? Or was it something else?

            Fuck. This whole thing was going to be hard and confusing as hell.

            “I didn’t know twenty-four was old.” That’s the only thing I could say? How pathetic.

            “It’s not!” he said in a rush. “I-I just…”

            “It’s all right. Don’t even worry about it. I was just messing around with you.” I laughed, sort of enjoying his reaction. It reminded me of myself when I was his age. “So, care to share how you and Hanji met?”

            He swiveled around in the seat until he was facing me, bringing his legs up to rest his chin on his knees. In that instant, I knew the very definition of adorable. “Uh, we met in fourth grade. She was really loud, and the class clown. She annoyed me to no end. But then one day, on the playground, she beat up this kid who was shoving my face in the sand.” He shrugged. “We’ve been friends ever since.”

            “The best way to make a friend is by kicking someone’s ass,” I said. When he gave me this odd look, I added, “I’m kidding. Old people humor.”

            He grinned. “You’re not that old.”

            “You sure?” I pressed my hand to my lower back, feigning pain. “‘Cause I have this severe pain in my back that came at the age of twenty. And my joints”—I stretched my left leg out as far as it would go, holding my knee—“are getting rickety.”

            “Oh, shut up.”           

            “No, I’m serious. I think I’m even sprouting some gray hairs.” I leaned forward to show him the top of my head. He laughed and shoved my shoulder playfully. “Ooo, ow. Be gentle with your elders. That’s going to bruise.”

            Levi was laughing so hard by now, that all I could do was smile at him like an idiot. It wasn’t often that I had heard his laugh, and it was a sound I loved.

            Suddenly the passenger side door was yanked open, emitting a very bouncy Hanji. She was holding an armful of plaid fleece blankets, which she was quick to throw at me. They bounced off my face to land on my lap.

            “Why were you laughing?” she asked Levi, smiling wide and wiggling her eyebrows. “Are you two hitting it off?”

            And there it was again: the blush that would be the end of me. It spread across his pale cheeks like a drop of blood in a bowl of milk. I longed to reach out and feel its warmth, but kept my hands by my side.

            “Is that a bad thing?” I offered, since he seemed incapable of words at the moment.

            Hanji rolled her eyes at me. “No, of course it’s not, you big silly. I’m glad. _Really_ glad.”

            Before I could make another comment, Armin got into the car, leaning over the headrest to toss me a gray pullover hoodie. “You might be needing that,” he said. “It’s probably going to get cold tonight.” He turned back around, settling in his seat. “Are you guys ready?”

            “Hell yeah!” was Hanji’s response.

            “Hurry up and drive,” I said. “Before you explode from excitement.”

            Armin didn’t even bother to argue with me, but flipped me off over the seat as he started up the car. I just laughed at that, because we both knew he was dying to get going. He was a sucker for Mother Nature.

            As we drove, Hanji was constantly flipping through radio stations, never stopping long enough for a song to come to an end. After she did it for fifteen minutes straight, Armin pointed out that I stashed my iPod in the glove compartment. She made quick work of grabbing it, and plugging it in.

            She was scrolling through my playlists when she suddenly turned around and said, “Oh, what’s this, Eren?” She pointed to a playlist I had titled: _Our Cryptic Love._

            “Nothing,” I lied, wanting to throw her out of the car.

            “Well, if it’s nothing, then I’m sure you won’t mind if I play the songs, right?”

            I gave her a death glare. “I’m sure there are better songs to listen to.”

            “I doubt that.” With that, she pushed play and the car was flooded with a soft tune that I instantly recognized. It was a song called “Exogenesis: Symphony Part 3” by Muse. It didn’t have a lot of lyrics, which Hanji noticed after a few seconds. She skipped to the next song, which was “Beautiful” by Late Night Alumni.

            Hell no.

            I leaned forward to snatch my iPod from her, but she shoved it under her ass faster than I could even comprehend, sticking her tongue out at me.

            “I swear to God,” I warned under my breath, “I will kill you if you don’t play something else.”

 

_'Cause you're beautiful_

_Something in your eyes tells me_

_I have found_

_Love that never dies_

_I don't have to dream_

_Reality is beautiful in you_

_I never felt more true._

            I internally—maybe externally, too—cringed at those lyrics. Kill me now. Levi was going to think I was a total sap. Which, if I was to be completely honest with myself, I was. At least when it came to him, anyway. All those lovey dovey songs made sense when I applied them to us. Still, that didn’t mean he had to _hear_ them.

            Hanji started swaying back and forth to the music, singing in an off-tone, “Eren is in love with a short man who has horrible toilet humor.”

            At any moment, I was going to wither away in embarrassment. Luckily Armin took initiative, and unplugged my iPod, filling the cab of the car with silence. I welcomed it. It was a lot better than listening to songs that were solely for my ears.

            “Armin,” Hanji whined. “Why did you go and do that?”

            “I feel like listening to something upbeat,” he said. He was covering for me, I knew. It’s what best friend’s did in a humiliating situation like this. He clicked back to FM radio, and soon we were listening to some crappy pop song.

            I leaned back in my seat, relieved. That was until I saw Levi giving me a strange look. “What?” I asked.

            “It’s nothing.”

            I was about to pry for more information when Hanji spoke up. “Don’t worry your little head off, Levi. I made up that he was in love with some short man with toilet humor. Come on. Who believes that?”

            Levi’s eyes widened. “What? T-That’s not—I didn’t mean… What are you talking about?”

            “I’m pulling your leg,” she said through laughter. “You two are too easy to mess with.”

            He crossed his arms over his chest, looking at anything but me. At the time, I didn’t mind. Leave it to Hanji to make things awkward. It was her specialty, it seemed.

            For the rest of the drive, we all kept quiet—even Hanji, which was surprising. But when Armin announced that we were at our destination, she perked up plenty, practically flying out of her seat the instant the car was in park.

            We followed her at a more normal pace, gathering up the blankets and wicker basket Armin had brought along. When I looked at our surroundings, I was surprised to see we were parked on a path that led to an enormous open field. I gave Armin a questioning look.

            “You’ll see,” was all he said. 

            We walked until we were far enough into the field that Armin’s Honda Fit looked like a dark-blue dot against the horizon. Then we spread out two blankets on the grass, sitting down on them. I set my hoodie next to me. It wasn’t too cold out yet, so I didn’t need it.

            “Technology is amazing,” Armin said, using his cell phone as a flashlight.

            “Armin’s got a raging boner for electronics.” Hanji grinned up at him from the place she sat cross-legged.

            He answered her by rolling his eyes in a dramatic fashion. She wrinkled her nose in response, sticking out her tongue.

            “When does it start?” I asked.

            He checked the time on his phone. “It’s ten right now, so in a couple of hours.”

            “At midnight?” I did not want to sit on this hard ground for two hours. “Why didn’t we wait a little longer back at the apartment, then?”

            “Don’t be such a party pooper,” Hanji said. “We’ll talk and eat snacks and drink cocoa.”

            Levi was busy doing something on his phone. Curious, I kept my attention on him until he looked up. At seeing me regarding him, he said, “I had to, uh, text my mom.”

            “Shit,” I muttered. “I forgot to ask how late you guys could stay out.”

            Hanji lay back on the blanket, looking up at the sky. “It’s cool, Eren. Whenever Levi wants to stay out passed his bedtime, he texts his mom that he’s staying over at my house. My parent’s don’t care how late I stay out on weekends, so long as I text them where I am.”

            “Did you?” I was not about to get them into trouble.

            “Duh, suicidal bastard.”

            I flinched at my old nickname—one that a horse-faced bastard named Jean gave me. It stuck, and soon that’s what I had been referred to. Then again, he hadn’t liked the nickname horse-face, either. So I suppose that made us even.

            “Why would you say that?” Levi said to her.

            She turned her head toward him. “It’s an inside joke. You wouldn’t understand.”

            He looked hurt by that, but didn’t say anything else.

            To keep her quiet, I dug into the wicker basket, extracting a box of graham crackers. I tossed it to her. She didn’t even question why, just opened it up and pulled out a stack of ten encased in plastic. Once she tore it open, she munched loudly on the snack.

            The two hours passed in relative silence. There were no city lights this far out into the country, and the stars were fully visible in the night sky. I now saw why Armin picked this location.

            “Look!” Hanji pointed to a spot in the sky. “It’s the Orion constellation.”

            I tried to see what she was seeing, but couldn’t make out anything. “Where?”

            “Right there,” she said, tracing it with her finger. “Can’t you see his bow and arrow?”

            “I don’t see shit.” Seriously, what the hell was she talking about?

            Levi crawled over to me, grabbing my face and turning it ever so slightly to the right. He pointed straight in front of me. “See it?”

            I squinted, finally finding stars that looked similar to a bow and arrow. “That looks nothing like a man.” 

            He chuckled, his breath ghosting across my cheek. I turned my head to look at him. Our faces were mere inches apart, and it would take so little to close the distance.

            “U-uh,” he stammered, moving back. He sat down a little ways from me, looking flustered. “It was named after a hunter in Greek mythology.”

            “Thanks for that bit of information.” I looked back up at the stars.

            “Someone snuggle me!” Hanji shouted. “It’s colder than a polar bear’s balls.”

            Armin pulled up some of the blanket to wrap around her, but she clung onto him. He glanced over at Levi, and I knew what he was thinking. Levi didn’t know that Hanji knew Armin just as well as she knew me. What kind of explanation could we come up with for that?

            Levi didn’t seem to be paying attention to them, though. He was gazing up at the sky, looking transfixed. It was then that I noticed he was only wearing a short sleeve shirt.

            “Here,” I said, handing him my hoodie.

            He shook his head. “No, I’m all right. You wear it.”

            I wasn’t even cold. Even in this life, my body temperature was higher than normal. “Just take it, will ya?” He opened his mouth to argue, but closed it when I added, “I will put it on you myself, if you don’t take it.”

            He grabbed it, shoving his arms through the sleeves before pulling it over his head. It fit him big, but I had no complaints. He looked cute as hell. Being this close to him was proving to be hard, because all I wanted to do was grab him and pull him onto my lap.

            “It’s starting!” Armin announced, bringing my attention back to the sky.   

            Beads of light trailed through the night sky, originating from the right hand side. It was a stunning sight, and I found myself completely mesmerized by the scene. It was only when Levi moved a little closer to me that my attention was directed elsewhere.

            “It’s so beautiful,” said Hanji, awestruck.

            I was looking directly at Levi when I responded with, “Yes it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the connection between Eren and Levi is inevitable. I love this pairing, and can't wait for this story to unfold.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading :)


	3. Red String of Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How does this have almost 100 kudos already? I just want to say thank you for all the support you guys have shown me so far. I truly appreciate all the comments. They inspire me to keep writing. 
> 
> If you'd ever like to get into contact with me, you could always drop me a DM on my Instagram: @levi.eren_
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!

The next morning I woke up to the sound of Armin talking on the phone to one of his clients like an auctioneer. I rolled over in bed, knowing damn well it was way too early for anyone in their right mind to be up. But after a few more minutes of listening to his endless rambling about “the right price” and “it’s a gorgeous three bedroom house,” I decided I would do my ears a favor and get up.

            Walking out into the kitchen, I grabbed a clean bowl from the dish rack, setting it down on the counter. I poured myself an abundance of Cocoa Puffs, some of it spilling over the top when I added the milk. With bowl in hand, I snatched up a spoon before going to sit down at the dining table.

            While I ate, my mind drifted off to the events that had taken place yesterday. After six years of searching, I’d finally found Levi. It all felt so surreal. When I saw him in that movie theatre seat, I couldn’t even begin to understand that he was right in front of me, that he was right there. Before that moment, he had felt like a dream. Now he was here in my life, in the present.

            “I swear I could hear your chewing for miles,” Armin said as he pulled out the chair next to mine to sit down.

            “That’s how I like it.”

            “Of course you do.” He set his cell phone down on the tabletop. “I scheduled some more house viewings today, so I’ll probably be home late afternoon. Are you going to call up Hanji?”  

            “Well, yeah, she only asked me to, like, fifty times.”

            “Don’t get all sarcastic with me,” he said. “I wonder how much she remembers.”

            I shrugged. “I’ll have to ask her that.”

            After Armin and I had first met in this life, we found out that there were gaps in our memory. For one, I couldn’t remember a lot before the colossal titan breached the wall. Armin had to fill me in on how I met Mikasa, and most of our childhood. On the other hand, he didn’t remember a lot of the battles, so I had to tell him about those.

            “She’ll probably remember her experiments the most.” He looked off in the distance. “Do you think Erwin or Levi will ever regain their memories?”

            “I’m not sure,” I said. “It wouldn’t surprise me if we’re all reincarnated, and a lot of people go throughout their life not remembering the people they’d once been.”

            “That’s true.” He pushed back in his seat, standing up. “I have to meet up with a client in a bit, so I’m going to head out. Call me if you need anything.”

            “Will do.”

            After he left, I washed the dishes I’d used before heading into the living room. It was a modern set up, and with the amount of money Armin and I made, the furniture was far too expensive for my taste. He had picked out most of it, since, according to him, I had no idea how to select “proper” furnishings.

            I sat down on the couch and started to play the same FPS game from yesterday, but it didn’t take long for me to get bored with it. My mind was somewhere else. Well, more like on _someone_ else, and I couldn’t fully focus on what I was doing. I had died way too many times already.

            Putting the game on pause, I strode back into my room, grabbing my phone off the nightstand. To my surprise, I had several missed calls from Hanji. Even when it was only eight in the morning, I wasted no time in calling her back.

            “EREN!” she shouted into the receiver when she picked up, forcing me to pull my phone away from my ear. “What are you doing? Do you want to hang out? Levi spent the night at my place, so he can come, too.”

            “I think you just blew out my eardrum.”

            “Don’t be so dramatic. Do you want to hang out, I asked! Wait, I’m not going to give you a choice. I’ll have my mom drop us off over at your apartment. See you in a few.”

            “Wait. Hanji!” The line went dead.

            Fuck.

            Tossing my phone onto my bed, I slipped off my pajama bottoms, flinging them in the direction of the hamper. With that done, I took the fastest shower known to man, finishing up the rest of my morning routine in record time. Bathed, dressed in the first clean clothes I stumbled upon, I went back out into my bedroom and began to pace.

            Why was I so nervous? Geez. You would think that the love of my life was on his way over here. Oh, wait! That is _exactly_ who was on his way over here. I needed to calm myself down. I had already seen him yesterday, so it shouldn’t be difficult to act relatively normal. Right?

            My heart was doing a great impression of a heart attack when the doorbell rang. Taking a deep breath, I went to go answer it, pulling the door open like I hadn’t just been having a full-blown panic attack. That’s what happened when you remembered the only person you’ve ever loved was now considerably underage, and basically unattainable.

            Aaaand there he was. God, he was something else entirely. Fifteen, thirty-four, it didn’t matter what age he was. He would always make me feel this way: like a complete stuttering mess who couldn’t even begin to comprehend the English language. What were words again? How do you speak them?

            “Move out of the way already, you big dope,” Hanji said, pushing passed me with a giggle. That brought me back to reality, and I quickly greeted Levi, moving to the side for him to come into my apartment.

            I followed the sound of Hanji’s voice into the living room, where she was sitting cross-legged at the end of the couch, PS3 controller in hand.

            “What game is this?” she asked. “I’ve never heard of it.”

            Sitting in the empty spot next to her, I said, “That’s because it isn’t available to the general public yet. I work as a QA Tester, which means I get to test games before they’re released.”

            “No way! I’m going to come to your house all the time.” She was doing a way better job at the game then I was. Not that I could focus on the game, or much of anything else except for the boy who was taking a seat right next to me.

            He smelt like some exotic cologne, and I desperately wanted to lean in and smell it on his skin. But of course I resisted the urge to do that. A part of my mind—the part that wasn’t totally consumed with the proximity of Levi—wondered if past Levi went through something like this. For a long time, he had avoided me like the plague. Being fifteen (back then), I couldn’t understand why he was doing it. Now that I was older, and going through a much similar situation, I think I finally understood.           

            Would it be easier to avoid Levi, then have him right here beside me? Did I have the capacity to do that? It’s not like it would be hard. He was a stranger. Still, could I do it? Did I even want to?

            Under these circumstances, I didn’t think it would turn out the same as it had back in our other life. Back then he couldn’t avoid me for too long. We had training, and missions that forced him to be by me. Now, we didn’t have any obligations that would bring us together. So, would I avoid him to steer clear of temptation?

            Hell no.

            “Earth to Eren,” Hanji said, waving her hand in front of my face. I blinked several times, turning my head to look at her. “Where were you?”

            “In another time.”

            “Yeah that happens to me a lot.” She gave me a sad smile.

            “I’m going to pretend,” Levi said, “I understand what’s going on.”

            I laughed at his tone. He sounded jealous. “Don’t worry. It’s not too interesting.”

            “He’s lying!” Hanji shouted. “It’s so interesting!”

            He leaned his elbow on the arm of the couch, brows furrowing. It made him have a similar expression to the one he’d worn two thousand years ago. Then he scowled, and the look was complete. I gave him a half-assed salute.

            Hanji did the same, offering her heart to a cause that no longer existed. “Good morning, Corporal!”

            “What are you even talking about?” he asked. “Are you guys going on about something that has to do with that story Eren made up?” I nodded, wiggling my eyebrows. “Wait. Isn’t the corporal in that story a short douchebag who was some elite soldier?”

            I laughed at that. “Yeah, that’s him.”

            He wrinkled his nose. “I see how you assholes are. You’re making fun of my height. Fuck the both of you.”

            “Oh, don’t be mad, my short little angel,” Hanji said. “The corporal happened to be Eren’s favorite character. Isn’t that right, Eren?”

            Of course she was going to throw me under the bus like that. “That’s right.”

            Levi perked up a little, sitting up straight. “Why’s that?”

            “He was brave and caring, and always put others before himself,” I said, remembering the man who had saved my life countless times. “It’s really hard to explain.”

            “Are you sure it didn’t have anything to do with the fact that he was humanity’s strongest, and had a body that looked like a Greek God’s?” Hanji smiled knowingly at me. “Or maybe it was because he was really good looking. He sort of looked like you, actually.” She was looking at Levi now. “Except he had an undercut.”

            Thank you for that, Hanji.

            “Wait.” Levi glanced down at his hands, which were on his lap. “Are you… I mean, if you _liked_ him—Does that mean…”

            “That he’s gay,” Hanji finished for him. “Yes it does. Eren is as gay as you are.”

            Well, if that didn’t make things awkward, I didn’t know what would. Wow. She really just went there, didn’t she? That was my cue to escape for a bit.

            Standing up, I said, “I’m going to go grab something to snack on. Do you guys want anything?”

            “Just bring me whatever,” was Hanji’s reply. Levi just shook his head, a look I couldn’t read on his face.

            Once I was in the kitchen, I internally screamed. I knew Hanji was a lot to handle, but I had no idea she was going to make things a lot more difficult for me. Levi was gay. It’s not like I didn’t already suspect that, but I couldn’t be too sure when it came to something like that. He had been reborn with no memories from his past life, which meant he could have also been born with a different sexuality. But now that I was certain he was gay, I wanted to pump my fist in the air, and cry out like Tarzan.

            Honestly, how was I even considered an adult with the immature thoughts that went through my mind? Or maybe it was just Levi that made me feel like an over eager adolescent.

            After I composed myself, I grabbed a bag of Doritos from the pantry and poured some into a bowl. With it in hand, I returned to the living room, sitting back down on the couch between Hanji and Levi. She immediately dug her hand into the bowl, extracting a handful of chips that were soon shoved into her mouth.

            “Gross,” Levi said, making a disgusted expression at her.

            “What is?” She chomped loudly on the snack. “Oh, are you referring to me chewing with my mouth open? Or the amount of chips that I just ate?”

            “Both.”

            We sat there for an hour or so. With Hanji getting way too into the game, screaming and shouting whenever a sniper shot her. Levi eventually began to eat some chips, moving a bit closer to me. On the outside, I looked like that hadn’t mattered in the least. On the inside, I was jumping around like some giddy girl with her first crush.

            After Hanji nearly broke my controller by chucking it on the floor when she died on an important mission, I decided it would be best for the safety of my possessions if we did something else.

            “Do you guys want to go do something?” I asked.

            Hanji unceremoniously threw herself back onto my lap. “Like what?”

            “I don’t know. Anything you guys want to do.” I gently yanked at her ponytail, watching her face contort into a mask of pain. She jutted out her bottom lip in a pout, but the small smile that appeared after a couple seconds gave away her pretending.

            Levi suddenly leaned to the side, smacking her on the forehead. “Get up, four eyes. I know a place we can go.” He had this peculiar look on his face, and if I didn’t know any better, I would’ve mistaken it for jealousy. But that couldn’t be it. He hardly knew me.

            “Oh, fine.” She sat up, getting to her feet. She was wearing an outfit I never imagined she would wear. It was a pink sleeveless button up top that was tied just above her navel, and jean shorts that were folded up to reveal more of her long legs.

            I pointed at her. “Nice outfit.”

            “You like?” She spun around.

            “Can we go already?” Levi snapped, standing up. He didn’t wait for an answer, just stalked out of the room. Hanji and I exchanged glances before we followed him out of my apartment.

            Outside, I directed them to the complex’s parking lot, pointing to an assigned space.

            “That’s your car?!” Levi practically squealed, admiring my red Nissan GTR. “I call shotgun!”

            Hanji eyed him. “We’ll see about that. Whoever makes it there first, wins!” She took off running, but he was a fast little thing, and beat her by a landslide. I unlocked the doors with the key fob. “That’s no fair! You short, speedy asshole!”

            “Oh well, loser,” was his response as he climbed into the passenger seat.

            When we were all in the car, I started it up, listening to the purr of the engine. I glanced over at Levi, and he had a wide smile on his face. He petted the dashboard like the vehicle was something precious. What was precious was that smile of his. Damn. I could look at it all day.

            “Do you know how to drive a stick shift?” I asked him. He shook his head, looking at the high-tech car stereo. “Want me to teach you one day?”

            His head immediately snapped to the left to stare at me. “Are you serious? But what car would we use?”

            “Uh, this one.”

            “You’d let me drive this baby?”

            To see that smile, I’d give him the damn thing. “Yeah, sure. Why not?”

            “I could kiss you right now,” he said, then straight afterward added, “B-But I won’t! I mean, I wouldn’t just do that…w-without asking.” He dropped his head in his hands, looking embarrassed.

            I decided to push his buttons. “Maybe I’d let you.” When his head shot up to look at me, I put the car in reverse and backed out of the space. After I turned out of my street, I asked, “So, where are we heading?”

            “Let’s go eat,” Hanji said. “I’m famished. I need food at this very moment, or I’m going to wither away.”

            Levi turned around in his seat. “Then wither away.”

            “Don’t be such an ass.” She leaned forward, placing her elbows on either seat. “Eren, you won’t deprive me of nourishment, will you? If you don’t stop at a place to eat, I’ll howl until you do.” She started to mimic a wolf, sounding more like a person who was being stabbed to death.

            “Stop already,” I murmured. “I’ll stop for food. Just spare my ears anymore of your screeching.”

            She stopped. “Yes! One for Hanji, none for Levi! I am victorious.”

            He unbuckled his seatbelt, shoving her back until she toppled over in the backseat. “Come again?”

            She shot up, all but throwing herself at him in the confined space. Soon they were both in the passenger seat, fighting like children. If I hadn’t been driving, I would have found it amusing. But I _was_ driving, and when one of their elbows came to crash land on my arm, I put a stop to it by slamming my brakes at the next red light. They both flew forward—Hanji smacking the back of her head on the dashboard, Levi tumbling forward into the foot space.

            When they righted themselves, they both glared at me.

            “My bad,” I said with a smile on my face, driving forward when the light changed to green.

            “You asshole.” Hanji smacked my arm, but she was smiling, too.

            Levi shoved at her arm until she returned to the backseat, then he surprised me by leaning over to bite me on my arm in the same place one of their elbows had hit me. I hissed with a mixture of pain and pleasure. “That’s for my head, you fucker,” he said with a grin.

            Unable to come up with a response, I settled for, “Buckle up.”

            He looked caught between disappointment and mortification, but did what I asked of him. _Fuck, fuck, fuck_ , I chanted in my head. Why was this so difficult? Even when I was twenty-four, the older of the two of us, I was still the one to fuck up. This situation needed to come with a guidebook. _So this is what you do next, Eren. No, not that. That’s stupid._

            “Go there!” Hanji barked, pointing at a burger joint. I took a right hand turn into the parking lot, parking in the first available space. “Whoo!” She jumped out of the car, not waiting for Levi and me.

            With a sigh, I got out of the car, rounding the hood to wait for Levi, who was taking his time in getting out. Maybe he wanted me to leave, but I was done with this whole “pretend he’s just a normal teen” bullshit. He wasn’t just a normal teen. He was _my_ teen, and I wanted to make him my everything, just like before.

            When he finally came to stand by me, we walked to the front entrance together in silence. We found Hanji sitting in one of the booths with a tray of food in front of her on the tabletop.

            “I bought enough for all of us,” she said passed a mouthful of French fries. “Sit down already.” We sat down, Levi moving to one side of her, while I moved to the other—making her the center of our sandwich.

            I wasn’t really hungry, but I chewed idly on a French fry to keep myself occupied. The place wasn’t too busy, but the people who were there kept darting glances our way every time Hanji spoke, which wasn’t surprising. Her voice was loud in the small space, carrying out to anyone who was within twenty feet of our table.

            “So, do you guys hang out with Er—Joe a lot?” I asked, making conversation.

            “Not really.” Hanji gave Levi this strange look. “He stopped hanging out with us for a while, because he got a thing for our short stack over here, but didn’t get his feelings returned sooo, long story short, he pretty much cut us off.”

            “Oh. That’s kind of harsh.” I never thought Erwin would be into Levi. Then again, a lot of things had changed.

            Hanji smacked her hand on the table. “It _was_ harsh, and not to mention incredibly stupid. We’ll never be as close to him as we were before he pulled off that idiotic stunt. He made Levi feel like shit.” She hit the table again, looking pissed.

            “Can we not talk about this,” Levi said.

            We lapsed into silence, finishing our meals. This wasn’t how I imagined our day panning out. This was all so complicated, a jigsaw puzzle that I couldn’t begin to solve. There had to be a way to get close to him without coming off as needy, or a lovesick fool—which I totally was. You would think after two thousand years, I would have learned how to control myself around him, but that was just it. I had no control when it came to my feelings for him. Even if he wasn’t as intimidating as he was in our other life, he was daunting in his own way.

            “Eren,” Hanji said. “I want to swing.”

            “Huh?” I looked at her like she was an alien from outer space.

            “I want to swing, deaf butt! Take me to a park.”

            “Didn’t Levi say he wanted to go somewhere?”

            He grinned sheepishly. “I sort of just said that to get out of your apartment. Hanji was never going to stop playing that game if we didn’t get out of there.”

            “Well then,” I said, standing up. “Looks like I’m taking you guys to the park.”

            After throwing away our garbage, we got back into my car—Hanji sprinting to it to sit in the passenger seat—and drove around until we found a park. It wasn’t big, just a simple neighborhood playground, but it had swings, which was good enough for Hanji.

            I parked against the curb, getting out in time to watch her run to the swing set. Within minutes, she was swinging as high as it would allow her to, a huge smile on her face. An incredible sense of happiness settled over me in that moment. Watching Hanji being so carefree reminded me of the days when moments like these were rare. We were lucky to be here now, together.

            My eyes drifted toward Levi, who was standing a little ways from me. He ran his fingers through his hair, kicking at the sand beneath his feet. Today he was wearing a black sleeveless pullover hoodie, paired with dark-blue skinny jeans and black Chuck Taylor’s. He looked hot as all hell—the true definition of jailbait.

            “Hey, Eren,” he said, and I jolted at the sound of my name. It was the first time he had said it in this life. “How did the corporal look in your story?”

            _Exactly like you, except older._

            “Well, he’s short. I’d say about five foot three. And he has black hair that’s fashioned into an undercut. Um, he has ivory colored skin…” There was no point in going into detail. If I did that, he would realize that the corporal looked exactly like him. “It’s hard to put into words. I suck at describing things.”

            He kicked at the sand again, turning his back to me. “And that’s your type? Short guys with black hair and pale skin?”

            In response to what he said, my heart began to thump wildly in my chest. Was there a deeper meaning to him asking me this? Or was it just curiosity? If I were to answer truthfully, would that give him the wrong idea?

            Oh, fuck it.

            “Yeah, that’s my type,” I said. “Why?”

            He shrugged, shoving his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. “No reason. Just wondering.” But when he turned back around, I saw the smallest smile on his lips.

            “Hey you guys!” Hanji yelled. “It’s sprinkling!”

            Just as she said it, I felt a drop of rain hit my cheek. In a manner of minutes, it was pouring. The playground was to the far left side of a vast open field. There was no way we were going to make it to my car before getting completely soaked.

            Hanji jumped off the swing, landing on her hands and knees. When she got up, she ran in our direction, but didn’t stop. Levi looked my way once she passed us, and I just stood there and stared at him, not caring one bit that I was getting soaking wet. His black hair clung to his forehead, in deep contrast to his porcelain complexion. Beads of water coursed down his face, moving downward to the sharp edge of his jawline, which led to his slender neck.

            “Hey, Levi,” I said, waiting until I had his full attention to continue. “You’re kind of beautiful.” His mouth fell open, then snapped shut, his cheeks going scarlet. I smiled. “Beat you to the car.”

            As I ran, I knew I was living on borrowed time. Each second that passed led me closer to him. No matter how hard I tried to resist, I was always falling toward him. It had been like that two thousand years ago, and it was like that now. An invisible thread connected us to one another—a thread that had held up through death. We were destined to be together, regardless of our significant age difference. The thread that held us together may stretch or tangle, but it would never break.       

            Our love was as endless as time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished this at three in the morning, so I will be editing it tomorrow. With that said, please forgive me for any grammatical or spelling mistakes. I will fix them as soon as I can :)


	4. Glimpse of True Happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first thing I'd like to say is thank you to all who have read this little fan fiction of mine so far. I truly appreciate it. Also, thank you to those who have left me kudos and comments. They keep me going.
> 
> Now, let me just say how much I love Hanji. She is so perfect in her charismatic ways, and I can't get enough of her. She kicks Levi and Eren's butt into action. She puts the spark into their lives. I just adore her. I also adore my two boys, who are slowly but surely starting to get closer. 
> 
> One last thing: If you want to hear a perfect song that I apply to Levi & Eren, listen to Deathbeds by Bring Me The Horizon. I picture the lyrics in Levi's POV, and more so in the canon world than in this fic. Like he's trying to resist his growing attraction to Eren, but can't. Just give it a listen, and if you do, tell me what you think ❤
> 
> With all that said, I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

Days passed, with Hanji and Levi making it routine to drop by my apartment every day after school. Today was no different except for the fact that Levi had piano lessons on Friday’s, so he wouldn’t be here until later.

            Hanji sat cross-legged on my bed, flipping through a Party City Halloween catalog. She had informed me—five minutes ago, to be exact—that she was throwing a party at her house tomorrow, and I was cordially invited. It’s not like I had much of a choice. She would pester me until I agreed. Not that I didn’t like Halloween parties. It’s just that I wasn’t sure if a house full of teens was my thing.

            “Quit moping,” she said without looking up. “If anyone asks why an older guy is there, I’ll just tell them you’re the chaperone.”

            I picked up the closest thing to me, which happened to be a wadded up shirt, and chucked it at her. “Are you trying to say I’m some old person who would even consider chaperoning?”

            “What I’m saying is you’re going to my party whether you like it or not.” She pushed the shirt I had thrown off the bed, stretching forward to lay on her stomach. I sneered at her, picking up my can of Brisk iced tea from my desktop. “Plus, Levi always dresses in drag, so I don’t see why you’re complaining.”

            Of course she said that while I was in the middle of taking a drink. The liquid went down the wrong tube, and I sputtered as it blocked my airway. When I recovered from the coughing fit, I glared daggers at her.

            She laughed. “Oh my god! You actually believed me? Judging by your reaction, I’m guessing you’re into that sort of thing. I’m totally telling him that!”

            I shot up from my computer chair, lunging at her. “Don’t you dare!” She giggled like a maniac as I tickled her sides. “I’ll stop when you admit defeat.”

            “Never,” she said through her laughter. I moved my hands up, tickling her just below her underarms. “Stop! I can’t breathe, you fiend!”

            “Admit defeat.”

            “Fine! I admit defeat.”

            I stopped my tickle assault, lying down next to her. “You can’t tell Levi now.”

            “We never agreed to that, loser face.” She rolled over off the bed, landing on her feet. Just then, the doorbell rang.

            It was too early to be Levi, so I said, “You want to answer that?” and batted my eyelashes.

            She was already leaving the room. “You owe me pizza now.”

            I flipped onto my stomach, paging through the catalog. There were some seriously ridiculous costumes. Who in the world thought it would be all right to make a Crayola crayon into an adult costume? Better yet, who would buy that? _Oh, hey, I would_ love _to be a crayon for Halloween._ I snorted.

            Hearing someone walk into the room, I asked, “Who was it? Was it some kid? If it was, tell me, because it was probably that little asshole that stomped on my carved pumpkin earlier. I swear if his mother hadn’t been around, I would have made him feel the pain my pumpkin felt.” Someone laughed, and it did not sound like Hanji. I turned my head to see Levi standing in the doorway. “Oh, hey.” That was my poor attempt at trying to make it seem like I wasn’t just talking about rearranging a child’s face because of my dear pumpkin.

            He came into the room, dumping his backpack onto my computer chair before coming to lie next to me. “That must’ve been some pumpkin.”

            “Don’t even get me started, okay? This is not a laughing matter. I was carving that thing for hours. Do you see these hands?” I whipped them back and forth so he could see said hands properly. “They created a masterpiece that that little bastard ruined in point two seconds.”

            He tried to keep serious, he really did, but laughter bubbled up and soon the room was filled with it.

            I shoved at him. “Didn’t I just tell you that this wasn’t a laughing matter?” I smiled despite what I had just said, enjoying the sound of his laughter.

            “Should we hold a funeral for your beloved pumpkin?” he said.

            “You asshole! Making fun of Mr. Pumpkin that way. Do you even know what he meant to me?” My voice oozed with sarcasm, which only served to make him laugh harder. I shoved his shoulder, and before I knew what was happening, we were wrestling. We rolled around for a bit until he pinned me beneath him, a salacious grin on his face. I grabbed his arms, flipping him around to switch our positions. “You lose.”

            My knees were on either side of his hips, my hands placed beside his head. I looked down at him, taking in his half-lidded gaze and flushed cheeks. His tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip, and I followed the movement with my eyes, wanting to lean forward and repeat the action with my own tongue. 

            “Whoa now!” Hanji bellowed, walking into the room. “Can’t a girl make a snack without you two getting all riled up in here?”

            I sat up, scooting back until I felt the headboard behind me. Hanji sat down next to me with a plate full of apple slices that were covered in some brown substance.

            “What is on those?” I asked, forcing my mind away from what I had been thinking.

            She picked one up, biting it in half. “Brown sugar and cinnamon. They’re microwavable baked apples. They’re delish! Try one.”

            I didn’t know whether to trust her on this, but they smelt good enough, so I picked one off the plate, bringing it to my mouth and giving it an experimental nibble. It wasn’t half bad. Taking a bigger bite, I tasted the sweet brown sugar on my tongue, followed by the taste of the cinnamon. Okay, it wasn’t bad at all.

            “It’s good.”

            “Duh,” she said, giving Levi a nudge with her foot. “Come eat one, my short baby.” He sat up, eyes lingering on me before he took one of the apples. “So, have you decided on a costume yet?”

            He gave her a not-this-again look. “I thought I told you that I wasn’t going to your party. Last time you ended up streaking with half the student body. I am _not_ dealing with that again.”

            “Oh, come on! Eren’s going.” She poked at my side with her finger.

            “I never agreed to go.” I was definitely not going if not even Levi would be there. He would be one of the only people at the party that I knew.

            “I’ll go if you go,” Levi said to me.

            So he was going to play it like that? “Fine. I’ll go. But the instant I see any clothing being removed, I’m leaving.”

            Hanji lifted her hands. “I won’t get naked, since you both are so determined to ruin my fun. But now that I know you two are going, what are your costumes? I’m going as Emily from the Corpse Bride.”

            Though I hadn’t known about the party until today, I already had a costume. Halloween was my favorite holiday, after all. “I’m not telling you,” I said. “You’re just going to have to wait until I show up at your party to find out.”

            Levi smiled. “Same here.”

            “I hate you guys.” She threw my pillow at his face. “If you guys want to do that, then we should make a game out of it. Whoever has the best costume, gets a prize! What do you say?”

            “That all depends on the prize,” I said.

            She tapped the tip of her index finger on her bottom lip. “How about the winner gets to name their prize? It could be a material item under thirty bucks, or it could be asking for something that isn’t material.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “You catch my drift, you two?”

            I pushed her, nearly knocking over the plate of apples. “If I win, I’m going to ask you to jump off a cliff.”

            Levi looked serious as he said, “I’ll play by those rules.”

            What was he thinking? By the look on his face, his thoughts were drifting toward a subject that I was desperately trying to avoid. I had never been one for self-control—not in this life, not in the last. I was already having a hard time resisting him. If he actually started trying, I would be fighting a losing battle.

            Even when I was willing to acknowledge that I wanted him just as much as I had wanted him in our other life, I also knew that it wouldn’t be right to act on impulse. He was fifteen in body and mind. If this was going to be his first relationship, his first _everything_ , I was going to do right by him. After all the kindness and patience his former self had shown me, I owed this to him.

            “What are you thinking?” he asked, coming to sit beside me.

            I leaned my head back. “If my costume is good enough to win.” I knew that it had a fighting chance. I never went half-assed when it came to my costumes. But it’s not like I could tell him what I was really thinking. Despite that, I still hated lying. Even a white lie could come back to bite you in the ass when you least expected it to.

            “Oh. It’s probably fine.” He loosened up his gray tie, which was a part of his school uniform. Along with gray slacks that were snug in all the right places, and a white button down. “I hate ties.”

            “I think it looks good on you,” I said.

            The irritated expression on his face melted away to a lopsided grin. “Yeah, well, it’s uncomfortable. So are these slacks.”

            “Want to borrow a pair of sweatpants?”

            “Of course he does!” Hanji bounded up from her spot on the bed, dropping the now empty plate onto my desk. She shuffled over to my dresser, pulling open the first drawer. “Not this one.” She moved onto the second one, rummaging through my folded clothing until she clasped onto a black pair of sweatpants. Pulling them out, she held them in front of her. “These are perfect.” She tossed them to Levi, who caught them, pressing them to his chest.

            “I’ll be back,” he said, scooting to the end of the bed to stand up.

            After he left the room, Hanji hopped over my legs, landing in a heap beside me. “He’s going to look adorable, just you wait and see. They’ll be long on him, and he’ll fold the pant legs up and I hope you realize I’m doing this to torment you.”

            “I hope you realize that I’m going to throw you off this bed.”

            She leaned back, twining her fingers behind her head. “I’d like to see you try.”

            “I would love to, but there’s a game I have to finish playing by tonight, so I need to go into the living room.” I left my room, listening to Hanji moving about behind me. We plopped onto the couch at the same time, and I leaned forward to get the remote control that was on the coffee table, turning on the TV.

            A few minutes later, Levi walked into the room, and I resisted the urge to look his way. I barely saw him in my peripheral vision as he sat down next to me, pulling up his legs to wrap his arms around them.

            I focused on the game that I really did need to finish by tonight. It was a horror survival game, not typically my genre, but I didn’t get to choose which games I tested. Basically it was about a man whose personal jet plane crashed in the middle of a forest filled with a tribe of cannibals. It was ridiculously cliché, but the graphics made up for it.

            When I hacked someone’s head off via ax, Levi said, “Gross. So yucky.” I chuckled at that, finally allowing myself to look at him. His chin was resting on his knees, his nose wrinkled in disgust at the scene on the TV screen. He was so freaking adorable. The fact that his charcoal-black hair fell over his eyes didn’t help any.

            “If you were in that type of situation,” I began, “what would you do?”

            He looked at me, swiping his hair out of his face, giving me full view of those metallic gray eyes that I loved so much. “I’d send that tribe to the nearest lake to bathe. They obviously need one. So dirty.”

            I snorted, because that sounded like a very Levi thing to say. “Loser.”

            “Am not,” he said, shoving his knees against my shoulder.

            “Are too.” I nudged him back.

            “I am not!” He laughed, pushing me onto Hanji, who quickly pushed me back onto him.

            “You’d be dead by nightfall,” I informed him. “They’d eat you, and say, ‘To hell with your cleanliness!’”

            “To hell with your cleanliness!” Hanji repeated, raising her hands up into the air. “Eren and I would survive. We’d wipe them out one by one. We’re skilled like that.”

            Levi pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. “You assholes would abandon me.”

            I wrapped my arm around his shoulders, tugging him toward me, not missing his sharp inhale. “I wouldn’t abandon you. I’d toss you over my shoulder to keep you from trying to convince the local tribal men to bathe.”

            “We’ll cut them up for you!” Hanji swiped the controller out of my hand, slashing the cannibals that had gathered around my player while I was distracted. “Just like that!”

            He gave her a small roll of his eyes, and then fixed me with this odd look, like he couldn’t decide on something. After a few seconds of mental debating, he leaned his head down on my shoulder, eyes darting up to my face to see my reaction. The smart thing to do would have been to move him away, to keep myself from temptation, but it felt too nice to have him close to me like this.

            I grinned down at him, reaching my hand up to ruffle his hair. His eyes closed a little at the contact, letting out a small sigh of content.

            It only took a couple of minutes of hearing Hanji screeching out a war cry whenever she killed someone in the game, to convince me it was time to retake the controller—for the sake of my eardrums.

            It didn’t take me long to realize that I absolutely sucked at playing this game—or any game, for that matter—with Levi so close to me. I could feel his warmth seep into my side, and every so often he’d look up at me when he thought I was wrapped up in the game. Little did he know that I was wrapped up in him.

            “When does Armin get home?” Hanji asked, turning restless.

            I glanced at her. “It’s Friday, so probably around six.”

            She gave a quick look at her phone. “That’s only an hour away. You think he’ll want to do anything when he gets back, or will he be too tired?”

            “Knowing Armin,” I said, “he’ll be too tired.”

            “I’m bored. Let’s go do something. I’ll text Armin telling him I stole you away for your ability to drive me to and fro. Yeah?”

            “You’re annoying.” That came from Levi, who had looped his arm through mine by now, still resting his head on my shoulder. “Eren said he had to finish this game by tonight.”

            She crossed her arms over her chest, sulking. “You’re the biggest butt hole ever.” She moved in closer to me, gazing up through her lashes. “Pretty please, Eren?”

            I put the game on pause, unable to concentrate on it, anyway. “What would we do?”

            “We’d go skinny dipping!” she shouted, pumping her fist in the air.           

            “Do you take the time to think these things up, or do they just come to you at random?” I gave her a questioning look.

            “They just come to me at random. So, are you in?” She started to nod enthusiastically.

            “Where exactly would we go to skinny dip?” Seriously, did she have a specific location picked out already? Or did she want me to drive around until we spotted a pool?

            “There’s this old inn motel out on Country Club Rd.,” she said. “It’s owned by this old man, and hardly anyone goes there. Come on! It’ll be so much fun. Everyone has to go skinny-dipping at least once in their life. Might as well do it while we’re still young and beautiful!”

            I set the controller down on the coffee table, shutting off the PS3 in the process. “If I do this, and we get caught, I swear I’m going to end you.”

            Hanji clapped, because she knew she had won. “We won’t get caught! Even if we do, we’re faster than that old man. We’ll outrun him. Trust me, he won’t call the cops. His kid is into the ole”—she pretended to smoke a doobie—“if you know what I’m saying.”

            “Are you up for this?” I asked Levi.

            He shrugged. “Let’s do this thing already.”

            After Levi changed back into his slacks, we piled into my car. Hanji directed me toward the inn motel, which was relatively small. There were a total of three cars parked in the various spaces in front of the rooms, which was good, in my opinion. It would look suspicious if we were the only ones parked there.

            Once I parked in a space a little ways from the front desk, we clambered out. Hanji was the only one of us who didn’t seem the least bit phased by what we were about to do. Then again, this had been her idea, so of course she wasn’t feeling like a criminal.

            We walked around the side of the building to where the pool was. It was gated in, but the swinging door was wide open. I cursed whoever didn’t close it. If they had, I would have had an excuse to turn around and go back home. I couldn’t believe I was letting her sucker me into this. Luckily the pool area was blocked from sight from the main road. The last thing we needed was for someone to drive by and see us all in our birthday suits.

            “This is such a stupid idea,” Levi said once we reached the poolside.

            Hanji was practically hopping in her uncontained excitement. “Are you kidding me? This is the best idea! You’re going to get such an adrenaline rush. I won’t be surprised if you pop a boner.”

            At that, he scoffed. “Oh please. I will not.”

            “We’ll see,” was her response. Then she grabbed the hem of her shirt and lifted it up over her head, tossing it to the side. “Come on, you chickens! Stop being pussies and get naked!”

            “Will you keep it down?” I hissed, darting glances in all directions, but nobody was around to hear Hanji’s hollering.

            “Pussy,” she whispered, slipping off her pants.

            Levi let out a heavy sigh. “Fuck it.” He started to undo the buttons of his shirt and I felt my insides turn into scrambled eggs. He regarded me. “Come on. Don’t wuss out on me now.”

            “I swear to fucking god,” I grumbled, kicking off my shoes. “If I go to jail for this, I will never let myself live it down.” I kept my eyes on the ground, unwilling to get distracted by the sight in front of me. I heard more than saw Levi sliding off his slacks.  

            Dear Jesus, I was going to hell for this.

            I looked up when I heard a splash. Hanji was resurfacing, a huge smile plastered on her face. She beckoned us to hurry the fuck up.

            The only article of clothing I still had on were my boxer-briefs. I already felt way too exposed, but that’s when I saw Levi jump into the pool, and I caught sight of his perfect round ass.

            When he reemerged from the water, he said, “Eren, get your ass in here. Hurry up. Stop thinking about it and just do it already.”

            I licked my lips nervously. “Shut up. Let me take my time, dammit. It doesn’t help when you’re both looking at me.” I gestured for them to turn around, which they did. Then I slid my boxer briefs down my legs, stepping out of them when they pooled at my feet. Wasting no time, I hopped in, feeling the cool water envelop me.

            I swam upward, feeling like a moron when my head popped up. This was something you did with people your age. How would it look to onlookers if they saw me buck naked with a bunch of teens? I’ll tell you how it would look. It’d look bad.

            “This is the greatest thing ever,” Hanji said, splashing water in my face.

            I thrust water back at her, dodging her next attack. Before I knew it, we were all laughing like idiots. I swam around to Levi’s back, shoving him down under the water by his shoulders. When he came back up, he tried doing the same to me, but he was far too small to accomplish it. I chuckled at his attempts.

            “You fuck,” he said with a smile, trying again. That’s when he accidentally brushed up against me, and I felt his body slide along mine. A chill went down my spine in response, but before I could react to it, I lifted him up and tossed him backwards.

            Hopefully he would think I was playing, and not trying to resist the urge to pull him against me.

            He shot up out of the water, eyes narrowing, but he was still smiling, so it must have been all right.

            I don’t know how long we swam around, having lost track of time long ago. We were so consumed in what we were doing, that we didn’t notice the old man walking our way until he called out, “Hey, you kids!”

            “Shit,” Levi muttered, sinking down into the water until only his head was exposed.

            “Get out of the pool,” I directed. I was already moving toward the pools edge. “Grab your clothes and run as fast as you can back to my car.”

            We all swam to the edge, pulling ourselves out. The old man was almost to us by now, but when he saw that we were nude, he stopped in his tracks, mouth falling open. That gave us enough time to gather up our clothes, and before he could recover, we were booking it toward the parking lot.

            I was the first to make it, unlocking the car doors and darting inside. I had already started up the car when Hanji and Levi got in. I quickly put it in reverse, burning rubber as I hauled ass out of there. We were down the road when Hanji started laughing hysterically in the backseat.

            Levi and I exchanged glances before we burst out laughing, too.

            I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been this happy, felt this good. I wanted to live the rest of my life with these people. Having them in my life gave me a sense of purpose. Armin and Hanji were the Cheech to my Chong. While Levi… he was my everything.

            He was my world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't guess, the next chapter is going to be based around a Halloween party. I cannot wait! I am seriously so excited to write it. So how did you guys like this chapter? Any feedback is welcomed, so long as it's not purely negative. 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading.


	5. Don't Explain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First thing: I'm sorry for how this chapter ended, but you know how things go. Despite that, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I feel like I'm finally getting somewhere, which is a good thing. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy :)

Armin pressed the make-up sponge to my forehead, swiping it to the side to spread the white face paint across my skin, just above my left eyebrow. He repeated the action several times, face scrunching in concentration. He had been at this for the past hour and a half. My ass was numb by now, which I blamed on the hard toilet seat I was sitting on. I moved a bit, and he fixed me with a glare.

            “Soooorry,” I mumbled, to which he gave me no response except for applying more pressure to the scratchy sponge.

            A few more strokes, he stepped back, narrowing his eyes as he analyzed every inch of my face. After smearing the paint on my cheek a bit, he said, “Done. And if I do say so myself: I did a great job.”

            I stood up, both my knees giving out an audible pop. “Let me be the judge of that.” He moved away from the sink so I could inspect my face in the bathroom mirror. So he wasn’t just tooting his own horn. He actually did quite a good job. That is, it looked like my face was just a skull with no skin. “Nice.”

            “Told you,” he said. “Now sit back down so I can do your neck.”

            Another half hour passed before Armin declared that he was done. It was a good thing too, because I swear my ass was nonexistent by that time—it was so numb, it was ridiculous. I thought that was bad, then it started regaining feeling, and the pins and needles that shot through it convinced me that being numb was better than this.

            Back in my room, I changed into the black hooded cloak that went down passed my ankles. Tying the rope-like material around my waist, my costume was almost complete. I still had to grab my scythe, which was made of real metal, so hopefully nobody tried to nab it at the party, because it really could be used as a weapon.

            Going as the grim reaper didn’t seem bad at first, but the more I thought about it, the more cliché it got. How many people would be wandering the streets tonight as the grim reaper? If I had known about the party before, I would have tried to be more original with my costume. But I hadn’t, which meant I was stuck with this. After all, I had only been planning to pass out candy this year. That was before Hanji and Levi tripped head first into my life.

            Armin popped his head into my room. “You look awesome.”

            “I feel like a moron,” I told him.

            He walked in, rolling his eyes in an all too dramatic way. “You’re only saying that because you want to win that whole ‘whoever has the best costume’ thing.” He came to stand next to me, straightening one of my sleeves so that it wasn’t bunched up on my arm. It fell, so it was once again waist-length.

            “I think your costume is way better.” He was dressed as Edward Scissorhands; his hair gelled up into the famous stringy mess. You would think he—the boy who dressed liked a kindergarten teacher—would look odd in the leather one-piece suit, but somehow it looked great on him. Maybe that’s because he did a brilliant job on his make-up, making his face truly seem pale and scarred up.

            “We both look good.” He slung an arm over my shoulders. “Now let’s go. Hanji’s been calling both our cell’s nonstop.”

            We left the apartment with exactly twenty minutes to spare. No doubt the house would be packed by the time we got there. I wondered how this party would turn out. It was being hosted by a teen that thought skinny-dipping was fun. That led me to believe that this definitely wasn’t going to be any ordinary party.

            As I entered Hanji’s neighborhood, I edged my foot off the gas pedal, dropping to twenty miles per hour. In my peripheral vision, I could see Armin looking at me. Why did I feel like this was a bad idea? Maybe it would be smart of me to just play chaperone. I would be the oldest—aside from Armin—one there.

            “Stop overthinking this, Eren.”

            I sighed. “Don’t you feel a little strange going to a teenager’s party? I mean, I know it’s Hanji, but there are going to be kids as young as thirteen there.”

            “I don’t see the problem,” he said. “It’s not like we’re going to be doing anything. To be honest, the only reason I agreed to go to this thing was so I could supervise. Hanji’s parent’s are out of town, and who knows what kind of trouble she can get herself into.”

            “True.” I turned down Willow Street, keeping my eyes pinned to the left. Her house number was 1108. In the end, it wasn’t hard to spot. There was a ton of people on her front lawn. “Fuck. How many people did she invite to this thing?”

            “By the looks of it, a lot.”     

            I steered my car toward the curb, parking in the empty space in front of Hanji’s house. That was one good thing about being a teen: You didn’t have to worry about parking, because your parent’s drove you everywhere. That meant there was enough space to park for us adults.

            After I shut off the car, I stepped out of it onto the street, swinging the door shut. Armin waited for me on the sidewalk, a strange look on his face.

            “What?” I asked when I reached him.

            “I think we’re overdressed.”

            I followed the direction of his gaze, looking at all the kids standing on the lawn. It seemed like every girl was either dressed in a very revealing (slutty) costume, or one that didn’t make much sense. The guys looked like they hadn’t even tried to dress up. I spotted one who just threw on a letter jacket.

            “Fucking lame,” I said. “Kids these days don’t know how to do it right.”

            “EREN! ARMIN!” Hanji came running toward us in a tattered wedding dress, nearly tripping over the long veil she wore on her head. Her skin was painted to appear blue, almost matching the color of her wig. The face paint on her face made her look like she had huge eyes and a slim nose.

            “Now that’s what I’m talking about.” I lifted up my hand for a high five, and she slapped her hand against mine.

            “You should see Levi,” she said. “By the way, your guys’ costumes are bad ass. I’m so digging you right now, Armin.”

            He smiled. “I tried.”

            “Come on.” She took our hands, leading us toward the crowd of kids that were eyeing us like we were mutants. One girl detached herself from the group, casually coming up to us.

            “Care to introduce me, Hanji?” the girl said, biting her bottom lip as she looked up at me with her big blue eyes.

            “Oh, sure.” Hanji pointed to me. “This here is Eren, and this”—she flicked her finger at Armin—“is Armin. Guys this is Elisa.” We greeted her.

            Elisa stepped closer to me, clasping her arms behind her back. “I like your costume, Eren. You’re the hottest grim reaper I’ve seen.” She took another step toward me, her breasts slightly brushing against my arm.

            I moved back. “Uh…thanks.”

            “No really,” she went on. “You’re really hot.”

            What in the actual hell was wrong with this girl? Even if I weren’t one thousand percent gay, I wouldn’t be into her. Who came on that strong? She was giving me the impression that she was easy. Unless she was, that is.

            I was about to say something when someone said, “Back the fuck up, Elisa.” Levi stepped into my line of sight, practically shoving the girl away from me. He was wearing a white button up paired with a black vest. Along with a black tie and slacks. But that wasn’t what caught my attention. What did that was the strange mask he was wearing that covered up his entire face except for his left eye, which was frightening. He had put in a contact lens that covered his whole eye, making the normally white part black and the pupil a startling red.

            “Holy shit,” I said. “What are you supposed to be?”

            He unzipped the mouthpart of his mask, which looked like he was unzipping clenching teeth. “I’m guessing you’ve never seen Tokyo Ghoul.” I shook my head. “Well, I’m Kaneki Ken, who is half ghoul.” He took a step closer, looking up at me with that strange eye that blocked any signs of his gray iris. “Ghouls eat human flesh.”

            “Excuse you,” Elisa said all of a sudden. “Could you be ruder? I was having a conversation with Eren.” I barely stopped myself from laughing.

            Levi whirled around on her. “Go hit on someone who actually wants in between your legs.”

            Her mouth fell open. “Fuck you, Levi! You’re just mad because I have a better shot than you.” Now I did laugh. Her eyes darted to me.

            “He’s gay,” Hanji informed her. “And even if he weren’t, he wouldn’t be interested.”

            At that, Elisa’s mouth dropped open before she snapped it shut, her teeth clanking together. “Screw all of you.” She stomped off in a huff, and I finally took notice of what she was wearing. She was in an _I Dream of Jeannie_ costume.

            The 60’s called. They want their clothes back.

            “Let’s go inside,” Hanji said, walking in the direction of her front door. We followed behind her, Levi re-zipping his mask up to cover his mouth. He seemed in a bad mood.

            I reached over to brush the hair that was falling over his forehead. He turned his head to look at me. “I like your costume.”

            “Would you be scared of me if you stumbled across me in a dark alley?” he asked—his voice muffled due to the leather mask.

            “With that eye…fuck yes I would be.” Honestly, if I didn’t know him and he came out of nowhere with that fucking eye in a dark alley, I would scream like a little girl. Not that I’d ever admit that. I’d take that bit of information to the grave.

            “Loser. You’re the grim reaper. I couldn’t kill you.”

            “That’s right,” I said. “I’m bad ass.”

            He rolled his eyes, which was exceptionally freaky. “I have to admit that your face paint is pretty amazing. Did you do it?”

            “Nah. It was Armin. He did his own, too.”

            Once we were inside the house, Hanji disappeared into the crowd, leaving us three alone in what looked like the living room. It was huge, with a high ceiling and elegant furnishings. How in the world did her parent’s allow her to throw this party? At least she said she had permission from them, but then again, they _were_ out of town.

            The room was jam-packed with kids, some hurdled in a group, lost in conversation, while others were dancing around to the blaring music. What all of them seemed to have in common was a very distinct red plastic cup in their hands.

            “Please tell me,” I said, shouting to be heard over the music,  “that Hanji hasn’t provided these kids with alcohol.”

            Levi leaned up on his tiptoes to get close to my ear. “I’m not sure. Should we go check to see if the punch is spiked?” I nodded.

            “I’m going to go find Hanji,” Armin said. “I’ll meet up with you guys later.” With that, he maneuvered himself through the crowd in the direction Hanji had gone in.

            Taking a hold of Levi’s hand, I walked forward, immediately getting jostled around by the moving bodies. I tugged Levi closer to me.

            “The kitchen is over there.” He pointed to the right and I steered us that way.

            Once we were passed the crowd, we walked down a narrow hallway that led us into the kitchen area. The counters were covered in plates full of random snacks. The punch bowl was sitting in the center of the kitchen island. We went over to it, and I released his hand to pour myself a cup.

            It only took a small sip of the punch to tell me it was definitely spiked with something that tasted suspiciously like coconut rum. It did not blend in well with the fruity flavor of the punch, and I knew Hanji had probably settled for whatever was in her house.

            “It’s got rum in it,” I said.

            “Goddamnit. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted her. This place is going to end up looking like a battlefield. Her parent’s are going to murder her when they get back. Not only that, we’re going to have to deal with all these shit stains being drunk.”

            “Dump it.” I gestured to the punch bowl.

            He grabbed it, holding it above his head as he made his way to the sink. I watched him dump it and a couple of kids cursed at him, but all he did was flip them off. The more I got to know him, the more I realized that he wasn’t just some shy replica of my former lover. There was so much of Past Levi in him, and that made me want to tap dance across this damn tile floor.

            When he came back over to me, he said, “How much rum does it take to get someone drunk?”

            I shrugged. “It all depends on the person, really. But people with smaller builds would get drunk faster.”

            “I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t drink it. No way in hell am I getting drunk surrounded by sweaty brats.” That last word had me smiling like an idiot. He spotted it right away. “What?”

            “I like you.”

            “W-What?” Even though I couldn’t see his cheeks, I was pretty sure he was blushing.

            “I said I like you. We’re friends, right?” I just had to tack on that last sentence, didn’t I? I couldn’t leave it at “I said I liked you.” It was true, after all. Hell, it was more than true. I loved him, and here I was trying to play it cool. I was really starting to get sick and tired of “playing it cool.”

            “Yeah,” he said. “We’re friends. Now let’s go find our other friends.”

            We left the kitchen. We were almost to the living room when someone grabbed Levi’s arm, stopping him in his tracks. We turned around at the same time. It was Erwin in an all black suit, his face painted a sickly green. He was Frankenstein, which he totally pulled off because of his height.

            “Can I talk to you?” he said.

            Levi shook out of his grasp, folding his arms over his chest. “Oh, so now you want to talk to me. So these last few days that you have been dodging me have all been a misunderstanding, right?”

            Erwin’s eyes flicked up to meet mine, and then dropped back down. “Listen, can we just go up to Hanji’s room. I need to speak to you in private.”

            “No. I’m not going anywhere with you.” He grabbed the sleeve of my cloak, dragging me forward. “Come on, Eren. Let’s go.” I let him lug me into the living room, my mind too caught up in their exchange to put up any type of argument. He finally stopped when we were in a somewhat empty area, dropping his hand to his side.

            I was about to ask him what that had been about when I suddenly heard the music stop, followed by a high-pitch sound. It stopped after a few seconds, replaced with someone thumping their finger on a microphone.

            “Can everyone hear me?” Hanji’s voice came out loud from the speakers that were by the entertainment system. There was loud cheering in response to her question. “Good. So, I need your guys’ help. You see, two of my friend’s are in the middle of a competition. They want to know which one out of the two of them is wearing the best costume. So I’d like ya’ll to be the judge of that. Eren. Levi. Get your fine booty’s up here.”

            Levi gave me a sidelong glance. “Want to make a run for it?”

            “No. This is actually a good idea. This way the end results can be fair. So come on.” I grabbed his arm, leading him to where Hanji stood on top of a coffee table.

            When she spotted us, she gestured for us to stand on either side of her. We did, Levi grumbling under his breath the whole way.

            “These are the two hotties I was talking about,” Hanji said, and the crowd cheered again. “So this is how it’s going to go, people. When I hold my hand over one of their heads, you’re going to cheer and clap if you like that costume the best. If you don’t like it, don’t cheer. It’s as simple as that. Got it?” They hollered, someone shouting for her to get on with it. “Ok, here we go.” She held her hand over my head, and the crowd whooped and clapped. Then she moved her hand to be over Levi’s, and they cried out louder.

            “That one!” a girl shouted. “Tokyo Ghoul rules!”

            “One more time,” Hanji said, repeating the whole process, but it wielded the same response from the crowd. “That settles it. Levi wins!” She turned to him. “Name your prize, my short baby.”

            “Not here, four-eyes.”

            She jutted out her bottom lip. “We’ve got a party pooper over here, but hey, he won, so I guess I’ll let it slide this time around.” At that, he hopped off the coffee table, beckoning for me to do the same.

            The instant my feet hit the floor, he took my hand, all but yanking me through the crowd. He didn’t give me time to protest, keeping a strong hold on me. He went down the same hallway that led to the kitchen, but took a sharp left turn before we got there, leading me up a wide staircase.

            “Levi,” I said. “Where are you taking me?”

            “Shut up.”

            The next thing I knew, he opened a door, pulling me inside a dark room. He didn’t flip on the lights, leaving us in a pool of pale moonlight that came through a window directly behind him. My heart started to pound in my chest, my stomach auditioning for the summer Olympics gymnastic team, because it felt like it was doing goddamn backflips.

            He turned his back to me, and I heard him unzip the mouth part of his mask. “I won.”

            I gulped. “You did.”

            “I get to name my prize.”

            “You do.”

            “Can you answer me something first, Eren?”

            “Anything,” I said.

            He walked forward until he was standing a few feet from the window. “Do you like me?”

            “Yes.”

            “No. I don’t mean like a friend, Eren. Do you _like_ me?”

            Shit. What could I say? Better yet, what could I do? It wasn’t like I could just walk out and avoid the question altogether. That would look really bad. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. Especially since walking out would give him the impression that I didn’t like him, which was the biggest fucking lie on planet earth.

            Apparently I took too long to answer, because he turned around, taking one look at me before rushing for the door. I caught him by the arm.

            He whirled around to face me. “Kiss me,” he said with a pleading tone. “You may not like me, or feel that way about me, but just kiss me once. I just… I want to kiss you at least one time. Ever since I saw you in that movie theatre, I feel like I know you. You didn’t feel like a stranger. I don’t know how to explain it, or the way I feel about you. I just know that I can’t stop thinking about you.” I didn’t say anything, just stared down at his face. “Say something, damn you!” I didn’t utter a word. He yanked at his arm. “Let go of me.”

            “Wait.”

            “No.” He tugged on his arm again, but I held on tight. “Your silence has said enough. Now let go of me.”

            I released his arm, but before he could move, I took his face in between my hands. He went still. “Take off your mask.” He reached up, unclipping it from the back of his head to slide it off. He tossed it to the side. “Take out the contact lens, too.” He took it out without hesitation, chucking it to the floor. “Is this your first kiss?” He nodded. “Are you sure you want your first kiss to be with me?”

            “Just kiss me already.”

            Leaning down, I gently pressed my lips to his. They were incredibly soft and supple against mine, but I kept myself in check. I had to keep reminding myself that this was his first kiss, and should be treated as such. So when he parted his lips, I pulled back.

            “No,” he breathed. “If this is the only time I get with you, I’m going to make it worth it.” He wrapped his arms around my neck, pulling me down to his height to crush his lips to mine. I tried to resist, but when I felt the tip of his tongue slide against my bottom lip, my resolve to stop slipped away. I could taste him, a flavor I had craved for years. He still tasted the same, like Earl Grey black tea, which only served to remind me that this was my Levi. He may not remember, but it was still him.

            That’s when I gave in, forgetting the reason why I should stop.

            Wrapping my arms around his waist, I lifted him up so he was at face level with me. Tilting my head to the side, I deepened the kiss, granting his tongue access into my mouth, while I explored his. He gave out a little moan, sending a shiver down my spine that started a hunger inside of me that only he could sate.

            “W-Wait…Eren,” he murmured, pulling back. He looked to the side. “I don’t know where to go from here.”

            That’s when I snapped out of the desire he had caused by just kissing me. I set him down on his feet, doing my best to wipe away the face paint that had rubbed off onto his lips and chin. “We don’t have to go anywhere from here. Don’t ever think you have to do anything you’re not ready for. I’ll never force you. I need you to know that.”

            He nodded slowly. “I’m sorry.”

            “What?” What did he have to be sorry about?

            “I forced you to kiss me,” he whispered as if he didn’t want to say it aloud at all. “I practically backed you into a corner.”

            I was so confused by what he just said, that I couldn’t even react. What told him that he could back me into a corner? I was strong enough to resist, if I had wanted to, which I didn’t. Couldn’t he see that?

            “Levi—”

            “No, Eren. It’s okay. I get it. You don’t like me. You just kissed me because I pleaded with you, and you’re a nice guy, so you gave in.” I opened my mouth, but before I could say anything, he darted out of the room.

            “Shit,” I hissed, following after him, but he was fast when he wanted to be. By the time I reached the living room, I lost sight of him. “Fuck!” People turned to stare at me, but I didn’t give a shit.

            I wandered through the house, but couldn’t find him. Did he leave? Damn it all to hell and back!

            Making my way to the front door, I came across Armin. “Have you seen Levi?”

            He shook his head. “Why? Is something wrong?”

            “Yes. I need to find him. I was about to go drive around the neighborhood to see if he's walking home, or something.”

            “Okay,” he said, looking concerned. “I’ll wait here. Text me if you need anything, all right?” I nodded, and then left the house, running to my car.

            I think I drove around that neighborhood fifteen times, but came up empty handed every single one of those times. He was either back at the house somewhere, or hitched a ride. I hoped it wasn’t the latter.

            I was driving around for the sixteenth time when my phone went off in my pocket. I dug it out, pressing the answer button. “Hello?”

            “Eren,” Hanji said.

            “Do you know where Levi is?”

            “Yeah. He left with Erwin. Armin told me you were looking for him, so that’s why I’m calling you. He’s fine. Erwin just gave him a ride home.” I felt both relieved that he was safe, and sick to my stomach, because now I couldn’t straighten this out tonight. “Eren?”

            “Yeah?”

            “What happened?”

            “I’d rather not talk about it over the phone. I’m coming back, so I’ll see you in a bit.” I ended the call, stopping in the middle of the road. I leaned my head forward until my forehead rested against the steering wheel. How had it even come to this? Tonight was supposed to be fun.

            Why hadn’t I said anything? Why did I let him believe that I was kissing him as a favor to him? What the fuck?! What the hell was I supposed to do now?

            “You fucked up,” I whispered.

            The question was: What happened now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I'm sorry, but it was necessary. I hope you understand. Also, who else has watched Tokyo Ghoul? I actually pictured Levi so clearly in his get-up and it made me squeal a little. If you haven't watched it, I suggest you Google search Kaneki Ken, so you can see what I was trying to describe. :)
> 
> Thanks for reading! You guys are babes. Your nice comments always make me happy, and I'm glad you guys are enjoying this story.


	6. Let's Make It Official

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me longer to write, because I was hit with the worst case of writer's block right in the middle of it. Ugh! So I'm sorry for the late update. I honestly like updating within a few days after the last one, so you guys don't lose the feel of the story. But, as of right now, my writer's block is gone and I'm ready to rock and roll (aka write like it's nobody's business). 
> 
> I hope you guys like this chapter. Despite my inability to write it for what felt like hours upon hours, I really enjoyed writing this. 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for the comments, kudos, and just being lovely beauties. 
> 
> Enjoy. :)

It took me all of ten minutes to realize that I was being a complete moron. What in the hell was I doing sitting in my car feeling sorry for myself? I knew where I wanted to be, whom I wanted to be with. Even if I had to drive to Levi’s house, I was going to explain myself tonight.

            Grabbing my cell phone from the passenger seat, I sent Hanji a text message asking for his address. She got back to me within a few minutes after I sent it.

 

**_Hanji: It’s about damn time! Took you long enough. It’s 453 S. Birchwood. Get your ass over there ASAP!_ **

****

            I took my foot off the brake, all but slamming it onto the gas pedal. There were still so many doubts I had, but I was through letting them hold me back. I knew all the risks that came with giving in, just like I had known them two thousand years ago. Back then, Levi could have been stripped of his title, could have been thrown out of the Survey Corps, yet that hadn’t stopped him from being with me. Now it was my turn to put myself on the line.

            I don’t know how many red lights I blew as I drove to his house, pure determination coursing through my veins. Every second not spent with him was a waste of time. How long had I waited to be his again? It was foolish of me to worry endlessly about the consequences of him not remembering our past life together. The only thing I had gained from that was hurting him. I had made him think that I didn’t return his feelings.

            By the time I turned onto his street, it was a little passed eleven PM. He lived in a nice, quiet neighborhood. The lawns were all well kept, but there was one that stood out amongst the rest. It didn’t surprise me that when I spotted the house number on the mailbox, it was Levi’s. I pulled over to park along the curb, shutting off the car.

            There was a streetlight a few houses down, which left me bathed in darkness. If it were up to me, I would've gone and rang the doorbell, but I had to remind myself that he still lived with his mom (his dad had left when he was two). The second option was to call him, but after three attempts, I knew he wasn’t going to pick up for me. So, I was left with the next best thing—I was going to pull off a cliché 80’s movie move.

            Here I fucking go.

            I stepped out of my car, closing the door behind me with little to no force. It didn’t make a sound as it shut, which was phenomenal, even when I felt like a total creeper as I made my way up his lawn. If someone happened to be looking out their window at this precise moment, they would no doubt call the police. Oh well. There was no turning back now.     

            At one point in time, Levi had told me he had a decal sticker of his favorite TV show on his window. Little did I know that tidbit of information was going to help me in the near future. Looking up, I saw the outline to said sticker. It appeared Levi had a room on the second floor.

            There was a lining of neatly trimmed bushes against the front of the house. I walked over to one and bent down on all fours, searching through the soil for any type of rock—preferably a small pebble of some sort. When my hand ran over something cool and smooth, I snatched it up, pulling it from the dirt. Bringing it to eye level, I saw that it was exactly what I had been looking for.

            This should work.

            Trying hard not to feel like some high school jock that would pull a stunt like this, I took several steps back and took aim. I chucked the small stone, not hard enough to break glass, but with enough force for it to reach its destination. I heard it _clink_ against the windowpane above me.

            After several minutes with no response, I decided it was time to go in search of another rock. That’s when I caught sight of movement overhead. I watched as the heavy curtains were pushed aside, Levi’s face appearing for a fraction of a second before the curtains fell back into place.

            I dug my cell phone out of my pocket to call him. It didn’t surprise me that, this time around, he picked up on the first ring.

            “What are you doing here?” he hissed into the receiver, sounding shocked.

            “You didn’t give me a chance to explain earlier.”

            “So you came to my house? You couldn’t have waited until tomorrow?”

            I scoffed, because he really had no idea how much he meant to me. “If you think I can wait to clear this up, you’re wrong. Now get down here, or am I going to wind up meeting your mom tonight?”

            He muttered a curse under his breath. “Give me a minute.”

            After he hung up, I shoved my phone back into my pocket, waiting there in the middle of his yard. I shifted my eyes to the front door in time to watch him slip through it. He had changed into a plain white T-shirt and blue and green plaid flannel pajama bottoms. He folded his arms over his chest to stave off the cold, not meeting my gaze as he began to walk toward me.

            When he reached where I was standing, he said, “What is it?”

            Instead of answering, I took him by the arm, leading him to my car. It was as cold as a mammoth’s butthole out here, but that wasn’t my only reasoning. The last thing I wanted was for his mom to suddenly wake up and peep out the window to see her only son out front with a dude dressed in a grim reaper costume—first impressions and all.

            I unlocked the car, opening the passenger side door for him when we got there. To my surprise, he didn’t hesitate to get inside. That was a good sign, and at this point, I was willing to take anything I could get.

            I rounded the hood, pulling my own door open. Once I was inside, I turned in my seat to face him, wishing that I didn’t have a face full of paint. Hopefully he would take me seriously despite that. Of all the nights that this misunderstanding could have happened, it happened on one that I was basically in a damn robe.

            Deciding to not beat around the bush, the first words out of my mouth were, “I didn’t kiss you just because you asked me to.”

            He pulled his legs up, hugging them to his chest. I realized, as he buried his face in his folded arms, that this was a habit of his. “It sure seemed that way.”

            “Do you honestly think I would do something like that just because someone asked it of me? I’m nice, but not _that_ nice. I wouldn’t lead someone on that way.”

            He lifted his head up high enough to peek at me, his mouth and nose still covered by the fabric of his shirt. “What are you trying to say?”

            I grasped the steering wheel, clenching my hands tightly around the leather as I leaned my head back onto the headrest. This was what I had come here for, yet I still felt like at any minute I would puke my guts out. Wow, wouldn’t that be romantic? _Hey, Levi, I like you_ —pukes all over the floor. I laughed once, squeezing my eyes shut.

            “Why are you laughing?” he asked.

            “Because you actually believe that I don’t like you, and I’m sitting here shaking and feeling sick because I’m about to confess just how I much I _do_ like you.”

            His eyes widened, his mouth falling open. “B-But you…” He stopped midsentence, burying his face in his arms again. After a while, he said in a small voice, “Do you really like me?”

            “Yes. Quite a bit, actually.” More than you'll ever know.

            He kept his face hidden from me for several minutes. I waited for him to say something, anything. Patience wasn’t my strong suit, so after a few more minutes ticked by, I said, “Levi, look at me.” He lifted his head up slowly, and I saw that his cheeks were flushed, which caused me to lose my train of thought. “God, you’re so cute when you blush.” As I said that, his skin went from a soft pink, to a deep scarlet.

            “Don’t do that,” he mumbled, covering his face with his arm.

            I leaned to the side, reaching my hand out to move his arm away. I caressed his left cheek with the back of my fingers, feeling the warmth of it. “Why not? It’s the truth.” I moved in closer. “Say, Levi. You still haven’t told me whether you like me or not.” He had in so many words, but I wanted to hear it directly from him.

            “I-Isn’t it obvious?” He squeaked when I cupped his face.

            “Humor me, will you?” I pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Tell me how you feel.” Another kiss, this time on his right cheek.

            He swallowed, licking his lips. “I l-like you, Eren.” I smiled, kissing him on his other cheek.

            “You stammer when you’re nervous,” I whispered, my lips moving along his jawline. “It’s adorable.” I kissed just below his ear. “Is that all?”

            “I—you… I want y-you…” He took a deep breath, his eyes closing. “I want to be your boyfriend.” One eye opened, while the other stayed squeezed shut. I pecked the corner of his mouth, smiling. “Eren, say something.”

            I moved back in my seat, the smile remaining on my face. “Did you just ask me out?”

            Levi groaned, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes. He nodded, keeping his hands in place. I sat there and watched him, taking in every little detail. From the way he had major bedhead—which was damn adorable—to his fair skin, his rosy cheeks, his plush lips that were slightly parted, his thin eyebrows, and his steel-gray eyes that were peeking through his fingers to look at me.

            “Before I accept to be your boyfriend, you have to promise me something.”

            “What is it?” He dropped his hands into his lap, expression going serious.

            “Promise me that you’ll always tell me how you truly feel. Even if you think it will hurt me, or upset me, I always want the truth from you. I’ll do the same in return. Deal?”

            A small smile lifted his lips. “Is that all?” I nodded. “Then it’s a deal. So, does this mean I’m your boyfriend now?”

            “No, we haven’t made it official yet.”

            “What? How do you we make it official?”

            “Come here,” I said, leaning over the center console. He met me half way, and I ran my fingers along his jawline, pecking the tip of his chin. I could hear his breathing pick up as I kissed my way up to his lips, gently pressing mine against them. “Now it’s official.”      

            “You’re a total sap.” That comment didn’t even bother me, especially when it came out all breathy when he said it. It also didn’t help that he was intently staring at my lips.

            “You like it.”

            “Do not.”

            “You do, too,” I said, moving back. He made a face at the distance I put between us. “I’ll move back once you admit you like it.”

            “Ugh. All right. I like it.”

            “That’s what I thought.” I suddenly realized how late it was. Even when I was floating around on cloud nine, I knew that staying out here with Levi for too long could turn out bad. Despite my threat earlier, I really didn’t feel like meeting his mom under these circumstances. _Oh, hi, Levi’s mom. This is definitely not what it looks like. I’m also_ not _a twenty-four year old kissing on your fifteen-year-old son. I swear!_

“Hey, boyfriend,” Levi said, pressing a kiss to my cheek. While I’d been off in la-la land, he had moved in. I looked up at him. “Wait here.”

            Before I knew what was happening, he was out of the car. I watched him run up his driveway to his front door. When he disappeared behind it, I wondered what he could be up to. I didn’t have to worry about it for too long, because not even ten minutes later, he was back on his front porch. Slung over his shoulder was a black duffel bag. Now why would he need that?

            He jogged back to my car, pulling the passenger side door open and practically jumping inside. He tossed the duffel bag into the backseat, smiling like he was pleased with himself.

            “Can I ask why you need that?” I jerked my thumb over my shoulder.

            “One, you just did. And two, because we’re going back to Hanji’s place. My mom was already expecting me to spend the night, and she was asleep when I got home. So”—he shrugged—“she won’t know the difference. Now drive.”

            I put the car in drive. “You’re a bossy little thing when you want to be.”

            “Mm, only once in a while.” He grinned, putting his hand over mine, the one that was shifting gears. “It’s really hot that you can drive a five speed.”

            “Getting brave, are we?” I said, shifting to fourth gear, feeling his fingers clench over mine. I was so distracted by the turn of events, that I was surprised I hadn’t stalled yet. That wouldn’t have been hot at all. Definitely would have dropped me some points in the hot department. Then again, I wasn’t used to being the dominant one. In the past, Levi was always the one impressing _me._ Even when I had somehow managed to impress him, he didn’t really show any reaction. So seeing that little spark in his eyes every time I shifted gears made my heart flop around like a fish out of water.

            “Not really. It’s just you’ve got your hands full, so you can’t really do anything. If you could make a move, I probably wouldn’t have said anything.”

            “Oh yeah? Why’s that?” I dropped down to forty-five miles per hour, noticing a cop up ahead. At this point, with how I drove passed the speed limit at all times, I was good at detecting authority.

            “Because if you weren’t driving, you would be looking at me, and not at the road. I would get all flustered, and probably choke on the words. Plus, you could react and that would only make it worse. Did you not hear me back there?”

            “I told you I thought it was cute,” I clarified. “And what makes you think I won’t react just because I happen to be driving?”

            “It’s not like you can…”

            “Watch me.” I slammed my foot down on the gas pedal, gliding over three lanes to get to the right-hand side of the road. I pulled into a 7-11 parking lot. “Now I can react all I want.”

            His hand slid off mine. “Oh my god, Eren. Get back on the road.”

            “Why? Afraid of what I might do?” I swear a bit of the old Eren Yeager was coming out—the one that reacted without a second thought. It had gotten me into plenty of trouble back then. I could name quite a few of those predicaments right off the bat. Even though I had grown up in another time, with different parent’s, I was still the passionate, impulsive little shit I had been two thousand years ago.

            “It’s not that,” he said.

            “Then what is it?” I looked over at him, watching him lean his head back against the headrest. His eyes shut and his lips parted as he took in a shaky breath.

            “It’s nothing.”

            Liar. If I didn’t know how to read him, I wouldn’t have been able to pick up on the subtle hints that he was actually turned on right now. Fuck me sideways. This was barely the first night with him being my boyfriend and he was already making it exceptionally hard not to just throw him in the backseat. But that’s not how I wanted him to lose his virginity. I wanted it to be memorable, and _not_ because it happened in a car.

            I smirked, pulling out of the parking lot. “Whatever you say.”

            It didn’t take me long to get back to Hanji’s house. It also was no surprise to see that the party was still going on. Armin and I were going to have to pull an adult and get all those kids out of there before the cops were called. It was a wonder how it hadn’t happened already with how loud the music was.

            Once I parked in the empty driveway, Levi and I made our way into her house. The instant I stepped foot inside, I knew Hanji was up to no good. All the kids looked drunk off their asses. There was a couple that was making out right in the middle of the entryway. They were really going at it, grinding against each other as though their lives depended on it.

            Well then.

            That destroyed the plan of kicking everyone out. We couldn’t just throw drunk kids out and expect them to find their way home. They would most likely just pass out on the front lawn, then the police would definitely make an appearance, because they were all well under the age of twenty-one.

            “Fuck,” I said.

            Levi took my hand, lacing his fingers through mine. “Let’s go find the stupid four-eyes behind this.”

            “First things first. Let’s turn off the music. I swear it’s set to make-me-deaf-by-tonight.”

            He nodded once. We walked around several kids who were too far gone to put any attention to us. In the living room, the smell of booze was potent. That was probably due to the fact that several cups were tipped over on the floor, making the beige carpet a dark brown.

            “That’s disgusting,” Levi said, pointing to the mess. “I’m going to make Hanji carpet clean this whole damn house.”

            “Yeah, well, it wouldn't shock me if we find something worse than spilt beer.”

            He wrinkled his nose. “Oh god, Eren. Thanks for _that_ imagery.”

            “Any time, baby. Any time.” I stepped through a couple of girls that were passed out on the floor, making my way to the iHome dock that was connected to two speakers on either side of the entertainment system. I tapped at the pink iPod’s screen, pushing stop. Once the music was off, I immediately felt better. That was until I heard two types of moaning—the ugh-I-feel-like-shit moan, and the yeah-that-feels-good-as-hell moan.

            Levi and I exchanged glances. “I’m going to kill her,” he said. “She promised me that she wouldn’t let this get out of hand. I lied to her parent’s to convince them something like last year wouldn’t happen this year. This is as much of my responsibility as hers.”

            “Don’t worry. We’ll get this shit straightened out.” I took out my cell phone to call Armin.

            “Please tell me you’re here,” he said the second he picked up, and I heard the telltale sound of someone vomiting in the background.

            “Yeah, I’m here with Levi. Where’s Hanji?”

            “In the bathroom puking her guts out. She thought it would be a grand idea to drink straight liquor. I left her for four minutes, Eren. Four minutes!”

            I let my head fall back. “How many of these kids are drunk?”

            “I have no idea. She distributed around every bottle of liquor her parent’s had. This is a nightmare. Remind me to never come to another one of her parties. I cannot do this.” I could hear the anxiety in his voice.

            “Hey, it’s okay. I’ll go around seeing who’s drunk and who’s sober. I’ll send the sober ones home. The drunk ones can leave in the morning. Tomorrow we’ll clean this house up, but Hanji better not even begin to think that she’s getting away with this.”

            “All right. I’m going to go. She’s hacking up a lung over here.” He ended the call, and I sighed. This was turning out to be a long night.

            Levi and I got right to work, going through every room to round up all the sober kids. There were quite a few. A lot of them gave us shit, saying they didn’t have to leave if they didn’t want to. But after I explained to them that I was twenty-four, and would call the cops without hesitation—a lie at best, but they didn't have to know that—they left faster than I could even say, “Get out.”

            It took us several hours to clear the house of people who were capable of leaving. When we were left with only the intoxicated ones, we decided that it was better for them to just sleep it off till morning. There was no point in trying to talk some sense into them. Most of them were completely shit-faced, and the ones that were only buzzed were either too grouchy to give a shit, or too hyped up to listen to a word that came out of my mouth.

            When we were done doing all we could do, Levi and I met up with Armin and Hanji in the only room that was free of kids. According to Hanji, it was her father’s study, and if she so much as got a speck of dust in there, he would notice. Well, if that didn’t make me feel completely uncomfortable, I didn’t know what would.

            There was a leather couch pushed into the corner of the room. Levi declared that he was sleeping on it, and if anyone tried to fight him for it, he’d kick their ass. Armin was too tired to protest, taking the next best thing, which was a computer chair that was huge enough to be recliner size. Hanji just plopped down on the floor, spreading out and falling asleep within seconds.

            “Hey,” Levi whispered, motioning me over. I went and sat down next to him. “Go wash that muck off your face.”

            “You called me over for that?” I rolled my eyes. Of course he'd think about my paint covered face at a time like this. “I’ll be back in a few.” Leaving the study, I padded to the nearest bathroom. There was a girl passed out in the tub. She didn’t stir when I turned on the faucet, bending over the sink to cup a handful of water. I splashed it on my face, repeating the process until the water ran clear. Then I dried myself off and went back to the room.

            Levi was lying down, curled up on his side like a cat. The sound of his deep breathing indicated that he had fallen asleep. It was three in the morning, so that wasn’t unusual. Hell, _I_ was asleep on my feet.

            Taking a spot on the floor next to the couch, I reached up to brush a patch of hair that fell over his forehead. This was the beginning of us in this time. Our future wasn’t written in stone. I didn’t know what could happen throughout our time together. All I knew was that I would cherish every moment spent with him.

            “Good night, Levi,” I whispered, bringing my hand down to my chest.

            _I love you._

           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mhm-mhm. *nods nods*
> 
> Yes, the time has arrived. They are finally dating. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, because there are going to be a lot of bumpy times along the way. I'm saying it's going to be worth it in the end. 
> 
> If you guys have an Instagram and would like to give my Ereri/Riren account a follow, I'm @levi.eren_ on there. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! :)


	7. The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was a fun chapter to write--especially the ending *cough cough*. Stick around to find out why. ;)
> 
> Anyway, as always, thank you guys so much for being absolutely fabulous and leaving me sweet comments, kudos, and sticking around for this story of mine. Also, a big thank you for all those who have subscribed. Ya'll are perf! ♥
> 
> Go read, go read. :)

The next morning I woke up to the sound of a vacuum cleaner. Something told me it was Levi. Call it intuition, or call it fucking obvious, because honestly, who else would be doing it? I knew it couldn’t be Hanji, and Armin would be courteous enough to wait until I was awake. So that left Mr. Clean. It didn’t bother me whatsoever. In a way, I liked that he was still a clean freak in this time.

            My back gave out a protest as I sat up. That was probably due to the hardwood floor I had slept on. I was about to stand when I heard a deep snore to my left. Hanji was lying on her front, ass in the air. How in the world could someone sleep in that position?

            If anyone should be up cleaning the disaster that was now her house, it should be her. I still hadn’t forgiven her for last night’s chaos. There had to be hundreds of red plastic cups lying around. Not to mention bodily fluids that were best kept far, _far_ away from me. I mean as far as humanly possible.

            Getting onto my knees, I spun around to face her, leaning forward just enough to give her ass a good shove. She toppled to the side, snorting as she regained consciousness.         

            “Oh, my head,” she groaned, clasping her hands to her temples. She looked over my way. “Why’d you go and do that, you butt licker?”

            “Why? Do you hear that?” I stayed quiet so she could hear the drone of the vacuum cleaner.

            “I don’t want to hear that. Tell Levi to shut up. That’s so loud.”

            I crawled over to where she lay, grabbing her by the shoulder. “You need to get up and help clean.”

            “But why? My head hurts. Can’t I go back to sleep?”

            “Uh, no. You caused all this, so you’re going to help fix it. So get up.”

            She groaned, forcing herself into a sitting position. “I hate you so bad right now.”

            “I’m not the one who forced you to drink straight liquor. You only have one person to blame for your hangover and that’s you.”

            “Could you stop being an adult for five minutes? Please.”

            “Only when you stop acting like you’re five.”

            She sat back on her heels. “Fine! I’ll get up and help clean. Just stop screaming at me.”

            Satisfied, I headed toward the sound of the vacuum cleaner. On my way toward it, I saw that most of the kids had already left. I wouldn’t doubt if more then half of them didn’t have permission to stay the night. When Monday came around, I wondered just how many of them would be angry with Hanji for getting them drunk. Not like Hanji would care, or anything.

            Following the source of the sound down a flight of stairs, I ended up in a huge game room. By the looks of it, Hanji’s parents were well off. There were old arcade machines lined up against the right wall. In the corner was a skeeball machine, and in the very center of the room was a large pool table. How did I not know about this room's existence before? I could live here. This was now my home. Hanji couldn’t make me leave even if she tried.

            “Are you just going to stand there?” Levi said. He had shut off the vacuum when I entered the room. He had also changed out of his pajamas into a pair of dark-blue skinny jeans and a black and white baseball T-shirt. Did he take a shower already? I wouldn’t put it passed him.

            “How long have you been awake?”

            “That’s besides the point.” He pointed to three black garbage bags that were by the pool table. “Mind taking those out?”

            I went over and picked them up, slinging them over my shoulder. “How many rooms are there left to clean?”

            “Too damn many. That’s how much. Is Hanji up yet?”

            “Yeah,” I said. “I woke her up when I did.” I patted my pockets with my free hand, not feeling the bulge of my cell phone. It must have slipped out while I was sleeping. “What time is it, anyway?”

            He checked his cell. “Ten.”

            Now I knew he’d been up for quite a while. After we finished cleaning up the house, I’d take him out. Get into the whole role of being a boyfriend. Even though I was no longer a virgin, I never really dated anyone. Before I remembered Levi, something always felt off when I was with someone. When the dreams about him started, I finally knew why that was.

            “Are the trash bins in the front or in the back?” I asked.

            “The back. Oh, and Eren, do you remember the room I took you in last night?” I nodded. How could I ever forget it? “That’s Hanji’s bedroom. In her bathroom, she has new toothbrushes. Make use of one.”

            “Blunt today, are we?”

            He shrugged. “I’m in that type of mood. What can I say?” He turned the vacuum back on, but before he resumed his cleaning, he blew me a kiss. I pretended to catch it and tuck it away in my pocket. He rolled his eyes, but the small smile on his lips told me he liked my full-blown cheesiness.

            After I threw away the garbage, I made my way up to Hanji’s room. Okay, when Levi said she had new toothbrushes, I thought he meant one or two. That was a normal quantity to have. Then again, Hanji wasn’t normal. Most of the time, that was a good thing. She made things fun. But a whole bottom drawer of toothbrushes? Did she collect them? Was this some type of fetish? Okay, whoa, no. I was _not_ about to go there.

            Grabbing a plain green one, I opened up the packaging and then turned on the faucet, putting it under the running water. It should’ve occurred to me that Hanji wouldn’t have the traditional mint flavored toothpaste. She had what appeared to be Berry Blast anticavity gel toothpaste, which honestly tasted like foul ass, but it got the job done.

            By the time I went downstairs, Hanji was marching around the house with a garbage bag in hand, picking up every piece of trash she came across. That’s when I realized I hadn’t seen Armin all morning.

            “Where’s Armin?” I asked her as she twirled around. “And I thought your head was killing you?” Now she was standing here conducting a damn ballet session? Who would ever understand her?

            She scooped up an empty potato chip bag from the floor. “He took my mom’s car to drop off some of the kids.”

            “Won’t your parent’s realize the gas that magically went missing?”

            “Clearly you don’t know my parent’s, because all they hope for when they’re gone is that I’m still alive when they get back.”

            “Nothing has changed there, I see,” I said. I couldn’t even remember all the times Hanji had risked her life to study titans. It was surprising that she never bit the dust. “You remember Sonny and Bean?”

            She flung the garbage bag to the floor, bringing her clenched hands to her face. “Sonny! Bean! They were done wrong!”

            “Okay. You just went into full Past Hanji mode right there. I swear it was like having a flashback. Except now you look like you’re twelve.”

            Bringing her hands down, she narrowed her eyes at me. “Take that back.”

            “Or what?”

            She threw herself at me, knocking me backwards onto the floor. I fell in a heap, the wind leaving my lungs when she followed after me. I felt her knees digging into my hipbones as she applied pressure to my chest with her hands.

            “Do you surrender?” she asked.

            I took in what little air I could. “Fuck…no.”

            She let out a battle cry that made my ears ring, then she opened her mouth wide and I knew what she was about to do. But before she could bite me, Levi appeared out of nowhere, grabbing her by the collar of her shirt. He dragged her off me, easily tossing her to the side.

            “You’re not about to get your bacteria filled saliva on my boyfriend,” he said.

            Hanji’s eyes widened, darting from me to him. Her mouth dropped open in the widest smile known to man. “My babies!” She hopped to her feet, throwing her arm over Levi’s shoulder before helping me up into a sitting position so she could do the same to me. She hugged us to her chest, patting our heads. Levi’s face was right in front of mine, and I took advantage of the situation. I closed the distance between us, giving him a lingering kiss on the lips. This made Hanji squeal, which was then followed up by, “My darlings! My beautiful children!”

            “Let me go,” Levi muttered, pulling away from her. “Now I have your tit germs on my face.” He rubbed at his cheek with the sleeve of his T-shirt, causing it to go red. I grinned at him, which only made him reach out his other sleeve to wipe at my cheek. All the while, Hanji was beaming, nodding her head frantically.

            “Did this happen last night?” she asked.

            I nodded. “It did.”

            “Why didn’t you tell me right away?” She smacked my arm. “I would’ve made Armin buy a cake!” Her eyes lit with excitement. “It’s still not too late. Quick. Give me your phone! Now, I say!” She held her hand out to me.

            “Don’t have it on me.” I pointed to my very empty pocket.

            She turned to Levi. “Quickly!”          

            “You don’t need to buy a cake for this,” he said.

            “What are you talking about? Yes I do! Don’t defy me on this. Give me your phone, or I’ll lick your face.”

            With that threat hanging over his head, he made quick work of giving her his cell phone. She dialed Armin’s number, and I listened to her tell him that her two adorable babies were now official, and that our coming together deserved a cake with, not regular icing, but buttercream frosting.

            When she hung up the phone, she jumped to her feet, picking up the garbage bag she had abandoned. She started to gather all the plastic cups that were scattered on the coffee table. We gave her a questioning look.

            “I want to finish this,” she explained. “Levi won’t do anything until it’s done, and I want to eat the cake when Armin gets back. So”—she clapped her hands together—“come on now!”

            Levi and I got to work, picking up whatever trash we could find. There was quite a bit of it. I thought a half chewed potato chip was disgusting—seriously, it looked like it had been regurgitated—until Levi barked out, “Oh, fuck no!” He shook his head. “Nuh-uh. Not today bitches.”

            I put down the stuff I was holding, walking over to him. He pointed to the couch, and I saw what he was talking about. There were about four condoms tucked under one of the throw pillows. They were all used, the content spilling out onto the cushion. This was one of the bodily fluids I very much didn’t want to come into contact with.

            Hanji poked her head between us, reaching out a hand to pick them up. Levi slapped at it several times until she withdrew it.

            “Don’t you dare touch that,” he said. “That’s beyond revolting. That is all sorts of unsanitary. Get some gloves.”

            She left, because she knew there was no point in arguing. We heard her rummaging through the kitchen and a few minutes later she came back wearing purple rubber gloves. She held them up in front of her as if she was entering a surgical room, and not about to pick up jizz covered condoms.

            “Get on with it.” Levi moved his hands in a shooing motion, like he couldn’t stand the thought of leaving the condoms on the couch any longer than necessary. Which was probably the case.

            After she picked them up and tossed them in the garbage bag, we really cracked down. We came up with a routine: Hanji picked up the trash, Levi vacuumed, and then I carpet cleaned. The carpet cleaner Hanji’s parent’s had was gold. It literally was God sent. It all but did the work itself. Bless the people who invented this.

            It took us several hours—Armin returning long before we were finished—to get the whole place in tiptop shape. Once we were done, we all collapsed onto the nearest flat surface. The last thing on my mind was eating a slice of cake. All I wanted was to take a long, hot shower, and cuddle with Levi on the couch while we watched a movie on Netflix.

            I was lying on my front in the middle of Hanji’s bedroom. Levi was on the bed, legs hanging over the bottom of the mattress. Armin was sitting in her leather computer chair, head thrown back. Hanji was on the bed with Levi, curled up in a ball. We were all beat from the cleaning.

            “Go take a shower,” Levi ordered her after a couple minutes passed. “You smell like stale booze and shameful sexual acts.”

            “Ugh.” She groaned, turning on her side. “I don’t have the strength to shower. I need sleep. My body requires hours of intense slumber.”

            “Intense slumber, my ass.” He reached back, smacking her on her calf. “You can sleep after you shower that stink off.”

            “Yes, sir!” She rolled off the bed, dragging her feet as she made her way to her bathroom. She slammed the door shut behind her.

            Once the shower started, Levi stood up, dropping onto his knees beside me. “Let’s take the cake back to your house. You need to shower, too.”

            I really did. “All right. When she gets out, we’ll leave.”

            When she was through with her shower, we went downstairs to get the cake, leaving her house afterwards. I felt relieved stepping out into the fresh air. It felt like I had been in her house for weeks. That’s what cleaning did to you. It made time stretch on and on. Honestly, how could Levi like it?

            We piled into my car, Levi taking the backseat with Hanji. I drove to my apartment at an unreasonable speed. Armin clutched at the handle above his head, holding onto it with a death grip. Whenever I picked up speed to make it to the intersection before the yellow light could switch to red, he would let out a little squeak of fear.

            If I were to be completely honest, I was kind of showing off. Oh, all right, I _was_ showing off. But I couldn’t help it. Every time I went passed the speed limit and shifted gears, Levi would get this look on his face. How did I know? Because I would look at his reflection in the rearview mirror every time. Shit. I never thought my being able to drive a stick shift would come in handy.

            There was this particular light that turned yellow when I was still quite a ways from the intersection. I dropped my foot onto the clutch, switching to fifth gear. Armin gave me this pleading look, but I acted like I didn’t see it. I pushed down on the gas pedal, getting up to sixty-five miles per hour.

            “Oh, my Jesus,” Armin said, now gripping the handle _and_ stabilizing himself by placing his other hand on the dash.

            Levi leaned forward between the seats, pressing his lips to my ear. “You’re so hot right now.” I flew through the intersection, making the light just before it turned red.

            Armin pressed a hand to his chest. “Remind me to never get into the car with you when Levi is here.”

            I laughed. “Oh, come on. I’m an excellent driver. You’re still in one piece, aren’t you?”

            “Barely.”

            I, in fact, got every one back to our apartment in one piece. I parked in my assigned space, shutting off the engine. We hurried out of the car, Armin walking in front of us to unlock the back door. Once I was inside, I walked to my room in a hurry. I was desperate to get out of the costume I had been wearing for far too long. It didn’t help that it smelt like liquor, chips, and sweat.

            I didn’t know Levi had followed me into my room until I stripped off the costume, left only in my jeans. That’s when he decided to clear his throat behind me. I turned around, expecting to see a nonchalant expression on his face. Instead I was met with a nervous, fidgeting boy who couldn’t even look me in the eyes.

            “Too sexy for you?” I teased, trying to lighten up the mood. He couldn’t be that nervous, right? Apparently he was, because after a few more minutes passed by, he still wouldn’t meet my eyes. He acknowledged my words with a slight shake of his head instead. “Come here.” Again I got the shaking of his head. “Why not?”

            “You have to shower,” he said. “I’ll just…” He took several steps back before he turned around and left.

            I never thought I’d see the day that I could easily intimidate Levi. Normally it was him rendering me speechless with just a flash of skin—probably still had that ability, too. To have it turned around so suddenly felt a little too good. I could feel my ego swelling. There were so many things I could use this for. Most of them being well beyond rated X.

            Pushing those thoughts aside, I went into my bathroom, turning on the shower. While the water warmed, I slid my jeans and boxers off, kicking them away from me when they pooled at my feet. When the small space filled with steam, I stepped into the tub, washing away the day’s work.

            Lingering, I let the hot water melt away the tension in my muscles. I don’t know how long I stayed in there, but when my fingers started to prune, I decided it was time to get out. I toweled myself off, and then wrapped it around my waist to step out into my room. I dressed in a plain red T-shirt and blue jeans.

            I walked out into the living room to find Hanji and Levi fighting over which movie to watch on Netflix. Armin was sitting down in the recliner, looking like he could fall asleep at any moment.

            “Eren,” Hanji said when she spotted me, holding the PS3 controller above her head, keeping it from Levi. “Tell this munchkin over here that we’re going to watch a comedy.”

            “What does he want to watch?” I sat down next to him, easily snatching the controller from her grasp.

            “He wants to watch a horror movie.”

            “Then that’s what we’re going to watch.” I handed him the controller. “We just spent the whole day cleaning up your mess. Let him pick.”

            She opened her mouth, but quickly shut it. “Fine. I’m going to go get a slice of cake.” She stomped off in the direction of the kitchen.

            I scooted closer to Levi, feeling him tense up next to me. Was he still thinking of me shirtless? It wasn’t that big of a deal. But then again, he _was_ an overly hormonal teenager. I remembered those days all too clearly. Sometimes it was downright torture. Was that why he was acting this way? God, what I would do to hear his thoughts right now. That would probably get me into a lot of trouble in the end, though.

            Still…

            I leaned into him, pressing my lips to his jaw. I heard his sharp intake of breath, watched his Adam’s apple bob when he swallowed hard as I moved my hand up to cup his cheek. Armin was out, and Hanji was in the kitchen devouring cake. Technically, we were alone. I knew we had just started going out, but it wouldn’t hurt to let him know he was mine. After all, his past self had marked me the day he’d given into me. Fair was fair.

            Kissing a trail to his neck, I licked tenderly on the skin before I began to suck at it, scraping my teeth just hard enough to leave a hickey that would last for a few days. He hissed in a breath through clenched teeth, his hand reaching up to glide up the nape of my neck to the back of my hair. He tugged on it.

            “Ah, Eren,” he breathed. I pulled back, smiling. “You bastard.”

            “But I’m your bastard.” I could see the evident bulge in his pants, and I knew I was going to like his stamina. Fuck. Why was it suddenly so hard to think of something other than sex related things?

            _Because he’s yours now. That’s why._

Needing a distraction, I took the controller from him, ready to put on any lame movie that would take my mind off this path of temptation. I was browsing the horror flicks when Levi suddenly swerved to the right, smashing our lips together with a greedy demand. I didn’t even have time to react before he slipped his tongue into my mouth, running the tip along mine.

            I turned to face him, tangling my fingers in his hair to move his head to the side. I didn’t hold back, invading every inch of his mouth with probing licks. He was making these little sounds that were driving me insane. Responding to the ache that he caused, I wrapped my hands around his hips, lifting him up high enough to sit him down on my lap. He let out a small moan against my lips and I drank up the sound, needing more. I rolled my hips into his and his mouth dropped open, eyes squeezing shut as he made a sound that had me repeating the movement.

            Before long, he was responding to me, bucking his hips in a desperate tempo. He wrapped his hands around the back of my neck, clawing at the skin there. His head fell forward, charcoal-black hair obscuring his eyes, leaving me with the sight of his parted lips. I realized that he could come like this, and the idea tantalized me.

            With newfound intention, I slid my hands down to his ass, squeezing his cheeks and jerking him forward, driving his erection against my own.

            “Shit,” he panted, nails digging into my shoulders. I did it again and his hands dropped down to my chest, taking handfuls of my shirt. “E-Eren I…I’m going to…”

            “I want you to.” To prove my point, I thrust my hips into his while pulling him forward. He shook in my arms, letting out a broken cry that sounded like a distorted version of my name.

            Levi sagged against me, lightly pounding his hands on my chest. “You shit. My boxers.” He sat up quickly, his head snapping in the direction to where Armin sat in the recliner, but he was still fast asleep. “Fuck. I need to go get cleaned up.” He went to stand up, but I grabbed his wrist, keeping him in place. “What?”

            I leaned forward and pecked his cheek, keeping my lips there to whisper, “You looked fucking hot when you came.”

            He pushed at my shoulder, face reddening. “Shut up.” He got up, walking awkwardly out of the room. I smiled at that, because this was only the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, what it is to be a teen. Memorable days right thurr. 
> 
> Anyhoo, thank you for reading, you beauties. As always, your comments kick me into gear when it comes to keeping to writing this. Through writer's block, I fight for you guys, 'cause I know you don't want me to abandon the story. So leave me precious comments, because honestly, they make my day! As do you. (Ɔ ˘⌣˘)˘⌣˘ C)


	8. No More Doubts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took four days to update. I know that's not very long, but ya know. I was catching up on The Walking Dead and Teen Wolf. My life priorities are all screwed up.
> 
> Anyhoo, before you read this chapter, I want to say that I had to get certain things out of the way. So sorry if it doesn't meet your standards, because usually my chapters are cute and fluffy, but this one had to be a little more on the serious side. I hope you'll understand why.
> 
> With that said, go read. :)

The better half of Monday morning was spent catching up on work. The game I was supposed to have finished two nights ago was still sitting in the PS3, untouched since my skinny-dipping escapade. That would’ve been a bad thing if my manager’s wife didn’t suddenly go into labor last night. The last thing he was thinking about right now was work—a.k.a. me. So I was spared the lecture of having games done on time.

            Sitting in my living room with a cup of hot cocoa, I played the horror survival game that made me want to jump off the nearest cliff. To put it simply: The game was pointless. The storyline sucked incredible ass. A lot of young kids didn’t mind that, though. All they wanted was action and blood. With that combo, they seemed satisfied.

            Not me. That was for sure. But I didn’t really have a choice when it came to this. I had to finish this game whether I liked it or not.

            Four hours later, it took every ounce of willpower I had not to chuck the controller at the TV. There were so many glitches. It was ridiculous. At one point, the ax my player had just started floating in midair, which meant I couldn’t deal with the bundle of cannibals attacking me. That led to me dying numerous times. And this was why QA Testers existed.

            By the time the ending credits were rolling up the TV screen, I was relieved to be over with it, sagging against the couch cushion. Now all I had to do was type up the notes I had written, and replay all the areas I’d come across a glitch, to see if it was persistent, or a one-time occurrence. But before that, I needed a break.

            Getting up, I crossed my living room to shut off the PS3 and TV. Then I walked to my room, throwing myself on the bed, letting my face sink into my pillow. I would have stayed like that, too, if I hadn’t landed on my cell phone, which was now beneath my stomach. I slid it out from under me, turning onto my back to check it. I had texts from Armin, Hanji, and Levi. Armin was reminding me to _make_ a meal, and not just heat up a hot pocket. Hanji sent me a picture of Levi sitting cross-legged in front of a tree, looking up at the sky, unaware of the camera trained on him. 

            I saved it, and then I texted Armin that I wasn’t going to heat up a hot pocket, but a microwavable pizza—there was a difference. 

            I read Levi's text last.

 

             ** _Levi: We’re in the honeymoon phase of our relationship. Do you know what that means? It means you’re picking me up after school._**

 

            I checked to see when he had sent it. Good, it had only been twenty minutes—not long at all. I typed out a quick response, asking him for directions to his school. I’d pick him up every day, if that’s what he wanted, because I was well aware that we were in the honeymoon phase. Before long, we’d have to discuss the fact that I was twenty-four and he was fifteen. Not that we didn’t already know that, but both of us were stepping around it, keeping that conversation at bay.

            It didn’t take him long to text me the directions and what time I’d need to be there. From the directions he gave me, his school was only a fifteen-minute drive from my apartment complex. With it being two o’clock now, I wouldn’t have to leave for another hour.

            Fuck. Who would have thought I’d be picking up my boyfriend from high school. High school! Why did life have to be so complicated? All people would see was a pedophile—which I wasn’t—and the fact that we were a gay couple. That was double the trouble. There would be no explaining that I never found an underage boy attractive before, that this wasn’t just an ordinary boy, but my past lover. Tell me, who would believe that?

            I sighed, throwing my arm over my face. Armin had sat me down like I was his son last night, going on about the consequences of dating Levi. How, for one, I could be arrested if we “did the deed,” as he put it. Or, and this one was my favorite, if his mother found out, she could press charges. Because according to the law, Levi couldn’t decide what he wanted until he was eighteen.

            Honestly, I didn’t need a reminder from him. It wasn’t like I could forget about something as big as this. There wasn’t a moment that went by that I wasn’t worrying about it. Still, even with all the possible consequences hanging over my head, I couldn’t bring myself to let Levi go. When it came to being with him, I was willing to take whatever risk I had to.

            What I needed was to get my mind off of it. So I got out of bed to go into the kitchen. How could Armin hate on Hot Pockets? Sure they were unhealthy and sometimes tasted like shit, but they were also quick and easy to make. That’s what counted, in the end. I didn’t want to spend an hour cooking up a meal. Though it would probably taste better and wouldn’t shorten my life span by five years.

            Still.

            I pulled open the freezer door, deciding to make myself the microwavable pizza. Armin was like a goddamn detective. He’d know if I ate a hot pocket, then I would never hear the end of it. He’d probably force-feed me an apple and a multivitamin.

            Not today, Armin. Not today.

            It was a wonder I still had a good physique. I mean, I sat at home playing video games for a living, and survived off frozen meals. That wasn’t exactly the way to stay fit. That, my friends, was the way to an early grave. Yet I still managed to keep trim. I thanked the treadmill I had bought years ago for that. Otherwise I’d look like a seven-meter class titan—all belly.

            After I was finished eating, it was time for me to leave. I switched out my pajama bottoms with jeans, and put on a navy-blue pullover hoodie. Then I left my apartment.

            Once I was in my car, the worries from earlier faded away into the background, replaced with excitement, eagerness. My heart was thumping at a rapid pace, as it always did whenever I knew I was about to see Levi. Just thinking about him made me feel giddy. Then I remembered the look on his face when he came in his pants and my hands tightened around the steering wheel. Doing stuff like that was tempting fate. It was the definition of walking on thin ice. At any time, the once solid ground could give way. Where would that leave me?

            _In jail,_ my mind supplied, but I pushed the thought away. Thinking about it wasn’t going to get me anywhere. Unless I was willing to give Levi up, there was no point in dwelling on the obvious. I knew what could happen by being with him. I also knew that living without him wasn’t an option for me. Not after being with him again, seeing him, watching his smile spread across his face… I’d do anything, if it would grant me more time with him.

            A few minutes later, I drove down a narrow street to park on the side of the road of a massive building. Red Mountain High looked more like a place of work, than a high school. The kids filtering out of the classrooms looked like little adults, pristine in their school uniforms. Kids these days were far too eager to grow up, missing key moments in their life because they were trying to rush into adulthood. Little did they know that adulthood wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

            I tapped my fingertips on the steering wheel, my eyes scanning the crowd until they landed on a very bouncy Hanji. She was smiling wide, her arm thrown around Levi's shoulders. He wore a severe expression, arms crossed over his chest. He didn’t look at anyone who passed him, keeping his eyes trained in front of him. Then his eyes spotted my red car, and the nonchalant look on his face disappeared as he broke into a smile.

            Some of the kids turned to look at him, as if they were shocked to see it there, which didn’t surprise me any. So he wasn’t usually smile-y, ay? Was I the only one who could pull this reaction out of him?

            Damn, there were the butterflies, fluttering around in my stomach like pests. Shit.

            When Hanji finally saw what Levi was looking at, she started to wave frantically at me. I waved back and a girl beside her gave me a strange look. I was going to wave at her just to see what she would do, but then Levi was hurrying over to my car. He pulled open the passenger side door, throwing himself across the seat to wrap his arms around my neck.

            “Hi,” I said, surprised, but enjoying every second of it.       

            He buried his face in the crook of my neck. “Hi.”

            Our little display of affection didn’t go unnoticed by his peers. Some stopped to gawk at us, like we were some display at a museum. The expression on their faces differed. Some look disgusted, while others just looked interested. What was it with people? Did they honestly think it was so strange for a boy to like another boy? We were still guys, still had all the same anatomy. Yet they looked at us like we were no longer human.

            “Let me get in on this action,” Hanji said, wrapping her arms around the both of us, squeezing us closer together.

            I tried not to look at the people staring, tried my best to ignore them, but then a girl tapped on her boyfriend’s—they were holding hands—shoulder, pointing a finger at us. When the boy turned around, he got this look of anger on his face, like he couldn’t believe we were doing such things in front of him.

            Lifting up my hand, I flipped him off. His eyes narrowed in response, but he didn’t do anything else. I let him get an eyeful of my extended middle finger before I brought my hand back down, wrapping it around Levi’s waist.

            When Levi finally pulled back to settle in the passenger seat, I saw his eyes widen when he saw the small group that had formed to stare at us through the windshield.

            “Ignore them,” I said, depressing the clutch and shifting to first gear. I drove away, glaring at whoever was looking our way.

            Once I pulled onto the main road, Levi seemed to relax. He put his hand over mine, smiling whenever I had to shift gears. The look that had crossed his face back there made me want to pulverize something. People were always going to judge what we were, _who_ we were.

            “You okay?” he asked as Hanji leaned her head on my shoulder. I must’ve looked just as pissed off as I felt.

            I took a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m fine. What about you?”

            He nodded. “I’m good.”         

            “So am I!” Hanji interjected. “You know what else I am? I’m hungry.”

            Levi faced her. “You ate so much at lunch, though. How could you still be hungry after that?”

            “I just am,” was her explanation. “I’m a growing girl, you know. And a growing girl has to eat. Let’s stop somewhere, Eren.”

            I laughed. “Sure. Where do you want to go?”

            “I feel like pizza. There’s a Pizza Hut up here on Warner.”

            “All right,” I said, turning on my right signal light to get into the far lane. When I turned onto Warner road, the traffic slowed down. I was wondering why, but before I could state my question out loud, I saw the reasoning behind the back up. There was a fair in a supermarket parking lot. It wasn’t too big, but it had all the attractions that a fair could offer.

            Hanji squeaked. “I want to go!”

            “I thought you said you were hungry?” Levi said.

            “There is food at fairs.” She clapped her hands together, bouncing up and down on the seat. “Eren, can we go? Pretty please? Just for a little while.”

            How could I refuse when she asked like that? “Only for a little while.”

            “YES!” She crawled over to the window, pressing her face against it. “Let’s go on the Ferris wheel first.”

            Every day with Hanji was an adventure. I swear there was no such thing as lame when she was around. She always found something to do—things that I normally wouldn’t do, like go skinny-dipping, for example. The last time I went to a fair was years ago. It wasn’t much fun then, because Armin had thrown up on one of the rides, and unfortunately some of it had landed on me. For my sake, I hoped Levi had a strong stomach. I knew Hanji did.

            Finding a parking space was hell. Whenever I managed to spot an empty space, someone always managed to get to it first. One person even cut me off, nearly hitting the front end of my car. In response, Hanji rolled down her window, sticking her head out and cursing at the asshole behind the wheel.

            Finally, I snagged a spot that was quite a ways from the front entrance. As usual, the moment the car was at a stand still, Hanji bounded out, not waiting for Levi and me. We gave each other knowing looks, then got out of the car. We met each other halfway, and he reached out to take my hand, lacing our fingers together.

            “Are you going to give into everything she asks?” he said, leaning his head against my arm. “Because if you are, you’re going to be doing stuff like this every day. You know that, right?”

            “Yeah, I know that. I won’t give into her _every_ time.”

            Levi and I walked to the Ferris wheel, because we knew that’s where Hanji would be. We weren’t wrong either. She held a spot for us in the long line. The couple behind us gave us a dirty look as we took a place next to her, but I focused on the boy pressing up against me instead.

            By the time we made it to the front of the line, I was almost regretting giving into this whole thing. I think we were waiting for a good thirty minutes, but I didn’t have time to complain, because before we could get on, we had to pay. It cost extra, since we didn’t have an unlimited ride wristband.

            I handed the money to the guy tending the machine.

            “I _have_ money, Eren,” Hanji said, shoving the twenty-dollar bill she had taken out back into her wallet.

            “So do I. We have that in common.” I was being a smartass, but it wasn’t even a big deal. I made more money then I spent, so spending it on this was fine with me. Armin was always getting on me for not getting out more, anyway. If I wasn't here, I would be back at home, sitting on the couch. That was the way of my life before I found Levi and Hanji.

            After the man stamped our hands, we stepped onto the carriage, which could seat four, but since the people behind us were a couple, we had it all to ourselves. Levi and I sat in one seat, while Hanji sat opposite us. As she began to make the carriage sway back and forth, that’s when I saw that the bottom was clear. I could see the asphalt beneath us.

            “Scared of heights?” Levi asked me when he noticed me staring at the bottom.

            “Nope.” How could I be scared of heights when I could still remember how it felt to soar through the sky on the 3D maneuver gear? I should invent it in this time. It would be nice to be able to use it once again.

            A few minutes later, the guy at the controls announced the rules. He stared at Hanji when he said that there was no rocking the carriages. She just smiled wide at him. He turned around, but not fast enough that I didn’t see the exaggerated roll of his eyes.

            When everyone was seated, the Ferris wheel slowly started up. Hanji squeaked in excitement, and I was surprised to see that Levi looked just as eager as her.

            He noticed me looking at him. “I like being up high,” he said. “Don’t ask me why. It just feels…good.”

            I knew why. He didn’t have to explain it to me. It was strange how his body remembered some things, while he couldn’t remember them at all. There were instances that I found myself yearning for him to have this flash of recognition cross his features, but it never came. Would it ever come?

            “I get it,” I told him, because I did.

            He moved closer to me, and I felt this hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach. What if he never remembered? I was always comparing him to his past self. Was that even fair of me? Did I expect him to become the man he once was? That was impossible, I knew that much. It was like expecting myself to revert back to the boy I was back then. There was no going back. I had to accept the fact that the chances of him remembering were slim to none. There was a strong possibility that I’d never be able to talk to the corporal again.

            Fuck. That hurt to think about. Then again, shouldn’t I be happy that I had him in my life at all? Maybe he wouldn’t remember, but that didn’t mean he was any less of the man I loved. It was still him, just a different version. A version that never fought in the war, never killed a titan, or lost a comrade. Wasn’t that a good thing, in a way? He didn’t have to remember all the loss.

            I almost missed the feel of my phone vibrating in my pocket, too focused on my thoughts. I grabbed it out of my pocket, looking down at the screen.

 

            **_Levi: You think we’ll ever go out alone? Like a date?_**

****

I looked at him. He turned his head away, but I could still make out the blush that was coloring his cheeks. I grinned.

 

            **_Me: I was actually planning to take you on a date this weekend. Can’t really do it on a weekday. School night, and all._**

 

            I watched him glance down at his phone, a small smile lifting the sides of his mouth. I could see him texting me back, then felt my phone vibrate in my hand.

 

            **_Levi: God, stop sounding so parental. Where are you going to take me?_**

 

            I had already planned everything, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell him. It was meant to be a surprise.

 

            **_Me: Can’t tell you. You’ll just have to wait and see._**

 

            He turned to face me. “You’re going to make me wait?”

            “Mhm.”

            “What are you two talking about?” Hanji asked. “Hey look! We’re at the very top.” She moved forward, causing the carriage to rock. She fell, landing between Levi and me. “Whoops.”

            “You’re going to make the guy stop the ride,” Levi said. “Get back in your seat, so the weight can be evenly distributed.”

            She moved back to her seat, plopping down—the carriage moving all the while. “It’s not evenly distributed. You and Eren weigh a lot more than me.”   

            “You get what I mean.”

            For the rest of the ride, we sat in silence. Hanji couldn’t stay upset for long. Soon she was back to being her happy self. Which was why when the ride was over, she was tugging us toward a concession stand.

            She ordered a funnel cake and a corndog. I bought Levi a small bag of cotton candy, and then we went to go sit down on the curb. We were eating when I saw someone that I never wanted to see again. Of all the people I could have ran into, it had to be him, my first boyfriend—also the guy who I lost my virginity to.

            I turned my back to him, hoping he hadn’t seen me. I didn’t want him to come up and try to chitchat. We ended on bad terms. Not that any of that mattered anymore. It had been a long time since our high school days. Still, that didn’t mean that I wanted to talk to him.

            “Michael. Is that you?” I recognized his voice at once.

            Fuck!

            I turned around. “Hey, Bradley. Long time no see.”

            “Michael?” Levi said beside me.

            “It’s a stupid nickname,” Hanji told him, and I internally thanked her for that.

            Bradley came to stand in front of me. He had grown a lot taller, but still had the same messy flop of brown hair, and those blue eyes I once found beautiful. Now they were nothing in comparison to Levi’s gray ones. I was biased, but whatever.

            “Yeah, it has been quite a long time,” he said, looking me up and down. “How’ve you been?”

            God, I wanted this conversation to end already. “Good.”

            He didn’t take the hint. “What have you been up to?”

            “Nothing much,” I said. Seriously, did I have to spell it out for him?

            “I can see you’re busy.” He shoved his hands into his coat pockets. “But it was really nice seeing you. How about we go grab a coffee sometime? I’d really like to catch up.” By the way he was looking at me, he wanted to catch up in other areas, too.

            “He’s taken,” Hanji blurted out.

            Bradley’s eyes darted toward her. “Who’s this? Your niece?”

            Before I could respond, Levi suddenly shot up to his feet. He walked around Bradley, blending in with the crowd.

            “Goddamnit,” I muttered. “Hanji, go to my car. I’ll meet you there once I find him, okay?” She nodded, picking up the remnants of her food. “As for you, Bradley, I’m really not interested in catching up.” Not giving him a chance to answer, I went in the direction Levi had gone. Why had he reacted that way? I hadn't shown any interest in Bradley. Now how was I ever going to find him in this crowd?

            I wandered through the fair grounds, finally giving up after I went around for the third time. There was no way I was going to find him in this crowd, and he wasn’t picking up any of my calls.

            “Come on, Levi,” I said, trying his cell again, but he didn't answer. What was I supposed to do now?

            When my phone vibrated in my hand, I answered with a, “Levi?!”

            “No, it’s me,” Hanji said. “He’s by the McDonald’s on the other side of the parking lot. He just texted me, so hurry up.”

            “Got it.” I hung up the phone, darting through the crowd. I picked up the pace once I was passed all the people, training my eyes on the McDonald’s that was on the left-hand side of the parking lot. It was packed, but I had a better chance of finding him there, then I did back at the fair.

            I hadn’t even reached the building when I spotted him. He was standing by the drive-through.

            “Levi,” I called. He turned his head to look at me before turning away, walking in the opposite direction. I ran after him, catching him by the arm before he could get any further.

            He whirled around, yanking his arm out of my grasp. I saw that he had been crying. “This was stupid,” he said. “I don’t know how I ever thought we could work.”

            That caught me by surprise, and I felt my mouth drop open. “What the hell are you talking about?”

            “You were embarrassed to say I was your boyfriend back there, weren’t you? I’m just some stupid kid, after all.”

            “Levi, that’s not—”

            “Just go away, Eren. I get it. I really do.”

            That was it. I couldn’t take this anymore. “No, you don’t get it! You don’t get it at all! Stop jumping to conclusions, because they’re always going to be wrong. I wasn’t embarrassed of you. That guy back there doesn’t mean shit to me. I wanted him to go away. God…” I punched the closest thing to me, which happened to be the wall. I could feel my knuckles bust open, but the pain was a good distraction from the anger welling up inside of me. “You’ll never understand. You can’t even begin to understand how much you mean to me.”

            “Eren—”

            “No. This is fucking frustrating!” I ran my hands through my hair, tugging at the strands. “I can’t even say half the things I want to say.”

            “Why not?” he said.

            I stepped closer to him. “Why do you like me?”

            “What kind of question is that?”

            “Just answer it.”

            He crossed his arms over his chest, looking away from me. “You’re funny and ridiculously attractive, and… I just feel…” He stopped, leaving the sentence unfinished.

            “Say it,” I urged.        

            “Like we belong! I feel like we belong together, ok! Jesus fucking—” I stole away his words when I pressed my lips to his. He didn't even try to resist, wrapping his arms around my neck to yank me down to accommodate our height difference.

            “Stop doubting how I feel about you,” I whispered against his lips. “You’re not just some stupid kid to me.”

            He leaned back, looking me in the face. “So you don’t care that I’m fifteen?”

            “If I did, you think I’d be going out with you?”

            “You’re not embarrassed of me?”

            I wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him closer to me. “No. So promise me that you’ll stop thinking that.”

            He sighed, pressing his forehead against my chest. “I promise.”

            Hopefully he kept that promise.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this wasn't super fluffy stuff, I just had to get it out of the way, because Levi has been feeling insecure about his age. And I knew, in order for them to move forward without there being any doubts, Eren had to confirm that he didn't just see him as some "stupid kid." Don't hate me. I promise next chapter will have all da fluffiness. ♡ 
> 
> Once again, if you'd ever like to get in contact with me, my IG username is: @levi.eren_
> 
> Also, if you want to see how I envision my Eren and Levi, may I advise looking up Unap's artwork of them. :)


	9. Resisting?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fast update, because I couldn't NOT write this chapter. I'm so eager to write the next chapter, as well, and you'll see why soon enough. *sly smile*
> 
> Soon, though, I'm going to be dipping into the serious business that we all know needs to be talked about. For one, their age gap. Secondly, how Levi still has the name Levi. Oh, this is going to be fun. I'm so excited to reveal all these little secrets. 
> 
> Lastly, thank you all so much for the lovely comments, kudos, and subscriptions. You guys make me happy. The fact that anyone is even interested in reading my fic is something that keeps me in a good mood, so thank you for that! 
> 
> Now, without further ado, go on and read. :D

Making out had become one of Levi’s favorite pass times. Whenever he got a chance, he’d latch onto my face like a leech. As an explanation for the sudden attack, he would always follow up the act with the same line, “Practice makes perfect.” And that was no lie. He was getting better at it, learning all the different ways he could make me into a panting mess.

            The self-control I had managed to maintain was a miracle in itself. I wanted him so badly, my body practically sang with the need to take him. He wasn’t making it any easier for me, snagging whatever chance he got to rut against me like a dog in heat. I knew it wasn’t enough for him, but at least he got off. I was left with a painful boner and wandering thoughts.

            How was I ever going to avoid doing anything with him for two more years? It was almost laughable. It had only been a week since I started dating him, and already I felt like at any moment I was going to throw him onto the nearest flat surface—or pin him up against the wall, whatever worked best—and erase all traces of his virginity.

            I groaned, rolling over onto my side in bed. It was eight o’clock in the morning, and the thought that I had woken up to was of Levi’s face, pinched with pleasure. Fuck. I felt like an overly hormonal teenager all over again. It took everything I had not to jerk myself off to the visions my mind was supplying me with. If I did that, it would only make things harder for me, and they were already hard enough—figuratively and literally.

            As I tormented myself with these thoughts, my phone started to ring, vibrating against the top of my nightstand. Reaching out, I grabbed it, pulling it under the blanket to press it to my ear.

            “Hello?”

            “Eren!” Hanji shouted in a singsong voice. “Guess what?”

            “What?”

            “Levi and I are ditching! And before you get on my case, it wasn’t _my_ idea for a change.”

            I found that hard to believe, but it must be true. If it were her idea, she’d be boasting about it, treating it as some great escape. “Why are you guys ditching?”

            “I can’t tell you that,” she said, her voice dropping to a whisper. “It’s a secret.”

            “So you called me to tell me that you ditched, but not the reasoning behind it? Okay. Yes, that’s totally logical, Hanji.”

            “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed! You’ll find out the secret soon enough, so stop being a grumpy butt. The real reason I called was to ask if you’d be able to pick us up around noon. If you can’t, don’t worry about it. I know you have work on the weekdays, and it’s a Friday, which I’ve noticed is your overload work day.”

            It had been four days since the fair incident, and it was a wonder I got any work done at all. Staying up all night helped, which was the only reason I had finished the two games Rob, my manager, had given me on Tuesday morning. Otherwise I never would’ve been able to get it done.

            “I don’t have any work this weekend,” I said. “Just call me when you want me to pick you guys up, all right?”

            “Yep. Hold on.” I heard her shuffling around, breath coming out fast. Was she running? “Okay, I had to get away from Levi for a bit. I know I have been acting like the fifteen-year-old that I am lately, but I realized yesterday that this must be really hard for you. He’s told me how he’s been acting, and I can’t even begin to imagine how that’s making you feel.”

            I was relieved that the mature Hanji had made an appearance. The only person I had been able to talk about all this with was Armin, and his advice ranged from “be the adult” to “do you want to go to jail?” That wasn’t helpful. Throwing the fact that I could get arrested if I gave into Levi didn’t help the way I felt. The way I was sporting a near constant boner for him.

            “Like throwing myself under a moving semi,” I said. “That’s how it’s making me feel.”

            She sighed. “Do you want me to talk to him about it? Tell him to cool the fuck down?”

            I laughed, because even though the way he was acting was driving me absolutely insane, I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to stop. The word “masochist” went flashing through my mind.

_Yes, Eren, torture yourself more by letting him continue these little games that make you want to tear off his pants._

            “Eren?” Hanji said.

            “I don’t know what I want. Wait, that’s a lie. I know exactly what I want. I also know that’s the fastest way to a jail cell.”

            “I’ll talk to him. You obviously need him to stop acting like a little horny shit.” She giggled. “Does he remind you of anyone?”

            Yes. He reminded me of me, back when I was the fifteen-year-old who couldn’t keep it in his pants. I was finally getting the pay back for treating Levi the same way he was now treating me. Was this how he felt? God, I owed him an apology. If I could go back in time, I’d do just that. Then again, my attempts had eventually paid off, and that was something I didn’t regret.

            Would I eventually give in?

            “Shut up,” I murmured. “I need help. Send it my way.”

            “Want me to buy you a dildo?”

            I sputtered. “Oh my god, Hanji! That’s _not_ the type of help I was talking about.”

            “You obviously need to get your rocks off,” she said. “A dildo could assist you in that area, if you know what I mean.”

            I groaned, rolling onto my stomach to bury my face against the mattress. “I’m hanging up on you.” My voice was muffled due to my mouth being pressed against the sheet.

            “Eren, I’m buying you one. What color would you prefer? You know what? Never mind. I’ll get you whatever tickles my fancy.” She hung up and I groaned again. No, no, no, no. This was not—I repeat: _not—_ what I needed. I didn’t need a rubber instrument that resembled a dick. Although the thought of Levi’s…

            _No, don’t go there. You’re treading in dangerous waters, Eren._

            How would he act? I would be his first, so his reactions would be honest. He wouldn’t be able to hide behind a mask of nonchalance. What facial expressions would he make? Oh, God! Why?! This was cruel, to have him so close, yet so far. I felt like Edward fucking Cullen in Twilight, and I hated that pale, sparkling bastard. He should’ve banged Bella within the first book. But no, he waited until they were married, like that made him any less of an old ass vampire.

            Why was I even thinking about this?

            In desperate need of a distraction, I got out of bed. I did my normal morning routine at a slow pace, taking comfort in the daily acts of showering and brushing my teeth. When that was done, I went out to the kitchen, wishing Armin didn’t have to work every day of the week. It was rare when he had a day off. Even then, he usually ended up getting called by a client who wanted a last minute viewing of a house.

            I didn’t know how much I needed my best friend until I was forced into this situation that I couldn’t get myself out of. It had only been a week. One week, and already I was starting to cave into my carnal desires. What could I do to keep myself in check? It would be so much easier if I didn’t have all these memories clouding the logical part of my brain. Memories that sent a wave of pleasure coursing through my body, heating up my blood.

            Corporal Levi. I could still remember the way he tasted on my tongue, the way his hands mapped out every inch of my body. His body had been rock solid from all the times he had used the 3D maneuver gear. The straps had toughened parts of his skin, skin that I licked and kissed and bit on.

            I couldn’t even remember all the times he had taken me; in all the positions he had claimed me as his own. I pulled up an image of him standing in the middle of an open field. It had been raining that day—the droplets making his gray shirt cling to his chest and torso. He had seen the way I was looking at him, recognized the desire lighting up my eyes. I thought he was going to ignore it. The rest of our comrades weren’t that far behind us, so it surprised me to no end when he closed the distance between us in long strides, locking our lips together in a heated kiss.

            He had fucked me from behind, sucking and scraping his teeth against the nape of my neck, leaving behind harsh marks. Marks I knew would be visible passed the collar of my shirt.

            “Shit,” I hissed, feeling my whole body throb in response to the memory. I leaned my elbows against the marble countertop, dropping my head in my hands. Why did I have to keep conjuring up these memories? There was no way I could ignore the ache they caused.

            I pressed my forehead against the cupboard, letting my right hand dip to the waistband of my jeans. In the kitchen… I was really going to do this in here? But then my fingertips brushed against the head of my cock, and all rationality left me. Who fucking cared if I made a mess on the tile floor?

            I slid my hand down the front of my boxers, running the tips of my fingers along my length. A shudder wracked my frame, my breathing picking up. This wasn't what I wanted, but it would have to be enough.

            Wrapping my hand around the base, I slowly began to pump it at a slow pace, both loving and hating the teasing friction. I bit down on my bottom lip, giving into the sensation. And that’s when my phone went off in my pocket. I was going to ignore it, needing to reach my release, but it kept chiming every few minutes, thoroughly killing the mood.

            I cursed under my breath, fishing out my phone. I answered it with a, “What? What is it?”

            “Are you okay?” It was Levi.

            Shit. “Yeah, I’m fine,” I said, thinking up some excuse I could tell him. “I just dropped something on the floor. What’s up?” My skills at lying were nonexistent.

            “Hanji said she asked if you could pick us up this afternoon. Still up for it?”

            “Yeah, of course. Just tell me where you are. I’ll be there in a few.” I let my phone rest on my shoulder, pressing my cheek against it while I zipped up my pants.

            “We’re at the Superstition Mall. Do you know where that is?”

            “Yeah, I know where that is,” I said. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

            “Okay. Call me when you’re here. See you soon.” He hung up and I let my head fall forward, forehead smacking against the cupboard.

            I needed to get a grip on these emotions of mine. If I didn’t, I couldn’t even fathom the things I was capable of doing. There had to be a way to keep these feelings under wraps. Right?

            Not putting any more thought on the subject, I left my house, concentrating on the task at hand. Once I was driving, I felt better. Driving always put my mind at ease. There was just something about being out on the open road; listening to music and watching the cars pass you by in a flash of color.

            When I pulled into the mall parking lot fifteen minutes later, I felt in better control of myself. I could handle this. I needed to remember that I wasn’t a teenager anymore, that I shouldn’t let my hormones have this much power over me. Armin was right. I was the adult, which meant I was the one expected to act responsibly. And I was going to.

            I could do this.

            I called Levi, and he told me to meet Hanji and him in front of Macy’s. I was feeling confident in myself. Even when I saw him standing in front of the automatic doors, I didn’t allow my thoughts to stray. He had a black jacket on, the hoodie pulled up over his head. It wasn’t that cold out, so it was strange that he was covered up.

            Hanji was the first to climb into the car, looking excited. She kept eyeing Levi. What was that about? What were they keeping from me? It obviously had something to do with that secret she was talking about earlier. What did they do now?

            As Levi settled in his seat, I started thinking about this secret. They couldn’t keep it from me for long. Not with how Hanji was bouncing around like she had a firecracker up her ass. It had to do something with Levi. Of that I was sure. But I couldn’t pinpoint anything different about him.

            “So,” I said, “are you guys going to tell me this secret Hanji was talking about earlier?” I pulled away from the curb, heading toward the narrow street that would lead me out of the mall parking lot.

            “Show him,” Hanji squealed.

            Levi looked nervous as he rubbed his hands together. After a while, he let out a heavy sigh, lifting his hands up to push back the hoodie.

            That’s when I completely stalled out, the engine going dead when the two front tires hit the beginning of a yellow speed bump.

            “Is it that awful?” he asked, covering his face with his arms.

            He cut his hair. He now had the all too familiar undercut that came with an onslaught of memories. I could already feel my fingertips running against the grain of his shorter hair, feel where it connected to the long onyx locks. It made him look older than he was, bringing out the sharp angles of his high cheekbones, and the defined lines of his eyes.

            “Eren?” He was looking at me, an expression of mortification on his face. He thought I didn’t like it.

            “You look hot as fuck,” I said. “You made me stall the car.” I pushed down on the clutch, starting up the engine. Of course he went and got an undercut when I was struggling with trying to maintain my self-control around him. With one glance in his direction, the painful ache I had suppressed since leaving my apartment came back in one full swing.

            “You really think so?” Levi reached up to play with the strands of hair that fell over his eyes, a small smile on his face.

            “Hell yes.” _Just look at the evidence between my legs,_ I mentally added. Scratch that out. That was the last thing I wanted him to look at. I didn’t need him to know how he could cause this type of reaction with just a simple haircut. But it wasn’t just any haircut. It was _the_ haircut. “Why’d you choose an undercut?” To kill me? To torment me until my breaking point?

            He shrugged. “It just felt right.” Then, all in a rush, he added, “Don’t think I got it because of that made-up guy in your story.”

            “The corporal?” I offered.

            “Yeah. Him.”

            I had to stop the laughter that was threatening to erupt from my mouth. He may not know it, but that’s exactly why he got it. It had always been the haircut he preferred, which was just fine with me. It suited him.

            Driving over the speed bump, I let go of the gear stick to run my fingers against the shorter part of his hair. He leaned into my touch, eyes closing in content. God, I loved him so much, it hurt. Being with him filled the gaping hole in my chest, the hole that was put there by the memories that had haunted me for most of my life. In some way, they still did, because I remembered people who I would never see again.

            Mikasa’s face came to the forefront of my mind. I couldn’t recall our last moment together. The last memory I could conjure up was that I had died before her. How had she coped with that? Who had been the last one standing? In a world dominated by titans, did it even matter?

            Yes, it did. The world I lived in today proved that. Humanity had been victorious in the end. We had reclaimed what was meant to be ours. I only wished that I had been there when the last titan fell. 

            “Eren,” Hanji said. “Unless you’re planning to drive under twenty-five miles per hour the whole way to your apartment, may I suggest going into third gear?”

            “Researching how to drive a stick shift?” I pressed down on the clutch, shifting into third gear.

            “Mhm.” She nodded, looking proud of herself. “You told Levi that you were going to teach him how to drive one, but what about me? I want to learn.”

            “I can teach you, too. It’s not that hard once you get the hang of it. Just listen to the sound of the engine. It’ll tell you when to shift gears. But for beginners, you’ll have to look at the RPM meter. It will be easier for you that way.”

            Hanji leaned forward, resting her knee on the center console. “What sound are we supposed to be listening for? Explain it to me.”

            At the speed I was going, I could stay in third gear. If I was going to show her what I meant, I was going to have to go faster. That wasn’t a problem for me.

            I pushed down on the gas pedal until I reached forty-five miles per hour. There was the telltale high-pitched whirring sound of the engine, signifying the need to shift. “Hear that?” I asked. Both Levi and Hanji nodded in unison. “That’s the sound you’ll hear when you need to shift gears. It’s the engine working harder than it needs to. Listen for the change.” I shifted into fourth gear, and the engine dropped down in volume. “See?”

            “I just got a lady boner!” Hanji hollered, hitting the roof with her palms. “When do you think you can teach us?”

            “Whenever I have free time and you two are at my apartment. I’ll have to teach you the basics before you can even attempt at driving. Trust me, the first few tries are frustrating and a total pain in the ass.”

            “Who taught you?” Levi asked.

            I smiled, thinking back to the time my dad had taught me. It had been during the summer, and it came out of the blue. He just came home with an old Nissan pickup truck and proclaimed it was mine, and that if I wanted to drive it, I was going to have to learn how to drive a stick shift. It took me about a month to completely get it down, but I had been the happiest sixteen-year-old on the planet.

            “My dad. My mom threw a fit. You have no idea.”

            “I just remembered something,” he said. “How did you get the nickname Michael? That’s the strangest nickname I’ve ever heard.”

            Damn. I was hoping he would forget all about that. Apparently he hadn’t. “It’s my real name.” There was no point in lying. Not only because I was terrible at it, but also because I knew it would come back to bite me in the ass if I did. It wasn’t a big deal, anyway.

            He looked from Hanji to me. “You two are weird. Why did you guys suddenly up and decide you didn’t like your birth names?”

            “We’re rebels like that,” Hanji said. “Right, Eren?” She bumped my shoulder with her fist.

            “Right.” I hadn’t legally changed my name to Eren yet. When I turned eighteen, I planned on it, but then my mom had a sobbing fest, convincing me to stick to Michael Foster. One day I’d change it. For me, Michael would never fit.

            “I feel like you two are hiding something from me,” Levi said. “Are you guys plotting some kind of world domination? Am I suddenly going to see these 3D maneuver gears Hanji keeps going on about?”

            “First of all, don’t hate on the 3D maneuver gear, okay? I explained it thoroughly to you. You know it’s awesome.” She smacked him on the back of the head, as if to prove her point.

            “Never said it wasn’t.” He rubbed where she had hit him. “You guys just act like you’ve known each other for a long time.”

            “I told you he was my babysitter before,” Hanji said.

            He shrugged, and something about the way he did it told me that he didn’t believe that’s why we were so comfortable around each other. His intuition was right, of course. If you really thought about it, the excuse she had thought up wasn’t very believable. Who acted like their babysitter—a babysitter they hadn’t seen in years (supposedly)—was their best friend?

            And this was what lying caused. It caused me to become uncomfortable, to squirm in my seat, because I knew that we _were_ hiding something from him. But I also knew that I couldn’t just reveal what that something was. Because no matter how unbelievable our babysitter story sounded, the truth would be even harder to believe.

            For the rest of the drive, Levi stayed quiet. What was he thinking? What could I say? I knew the longer we kept the truth from him, the more suspicious he would get. How could I even initiate that conversation? How could I tell him about everything that had happened between us in another time, another life?

            When I pulled into my apartment complex, I could feel the nerves working at me. They wouldn’t go away until there were no lies between us. I didn’t know how long that would take to achieve. Would it be better to just confess now? To get it out in the open? Or would that make him leave?

            “Hey,” Levi said once I parked. He turned in his seat to face me, leaning forward. “What’s wrong?”

            A lot. “It’s nothing. Just thinking about something I have to do for work.” Another lie.

            “Well, cheer up.”

            I grinned at him. “Is that an order?”

            “You bet your ass it is. Now come on.” He got out of the car, walking around the hood to pull my door open. I stepped out, letting him grab my hand and lead me toward my apartment.

            After I unlocked the backdoor, he kept dragging me forward, leaving Hanji behind in the kitchen. She gave me this look, but I couldn’t decipher its meaning because Levi was still tugging at me. He didn’t stop until we were in my bedroom, then I knew why Hanji had given me that look.

            “Levi,” I began, but he didn’t give me a chance to finish, pushing me back forcefully. The back of my knees hit the edge of the bed, causing me to lose my balance and fall back onto the mattress. Before I could piece things together, he was on top of me, silencing any words that could tumble from my lips.

            He sat back, the cleft of his ass grinding against my cock. I bit down hard on my bottom lip, refusing to make a sound. If he were to hear any sounds of pleasure coming from me, he’d know how much I didn’t want to fight this. But fight it was what I had to do.

            I grabbed his hips, meaning to move him off of me, but he was quicker, leaning forward to take possession of my mouth. At that point, my body was working against me, my hips moving of their own accord, softly thrusting upward. He gasped when he felt my erection press against his ass cheek.

            No. I had to stop this before it went any further.

            “We can’t do this,” I said, my voice sounding rough with arousal. “Levi—” He slid his hand down my stomach, moving passed the waistband of my jeans to palm my hard-on through the coarse fabric. My head snapped back, eyes squeezing shut as a tremor went through my body. “Shit. No. Levi, listen…”

            “Shut up,” he whispered against my neck, licking and sucking on the skin. “I want you.”

            “We can’t—”

            He clenched my cock through my jeans, giving it a sharp tug that tore a guttural cry out of me. “We don’t have to do _that_. There are other things we can do.” He sucked harshly at the junction of my neck, and I knew his aim was to leave behind a vicious mark. “Do you not want me?”

            I licked my lips. “You know that’s not it. We haven’t even been going out that long. There’s no need to rush into things.”

            _Just push him off. Push him off now…_

            He started grinding against me. “I’ve never wanted anyone this badly,” he murmured, lightly brushing his lips along my exposed collarbone. “Please, Eren. We don’t have to go all the way. Just…touch me.”

            That’s when my resolve snapped. I grabbed his hips, flipping him around so he was under me. He looked up at me with those clear gray eyes, running his hands up and down my stomach and chest.

            By now, my breath was coming out in hard pants. “Is this what you want?” I cupped his erection through his slacks, grinding my palm against it. He let out a whimpering moan.

            In response to my question, he wrapped his arms around my neck, pulling me down to press his lips to my ear. He said one word: “More.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh snap! What will happen in the next chapter? Only I know for sure, while you guys will make wild guesses. 
> 
> Yes, I know, I'm awful. But cliffhangers are meant to leave you in suspense, so I hope it worked.
> 
> P.S. Hanji is evil. She knows Eren is struggling with resisting Levi, yet a little birdie told me she's not going to intervene. Oh, Hanji. So typical of you. *wriggles eyebrows* 
> 
> Also, did any of you notice how Levi's dominant side is starting to show? But don't worry, Eren's dominant side will be coming out to play soon enough. ;)
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading! ❤


	10. The Taste of You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet you guys never guessed that this chapter would be in Levi's POV, now did you? Well, surprise, it is! Whoo! I just felt like letting you guys in on how my Levi thinks and what's going on in that head of his. Plus, I really felt like any first experience between Eren and him should be in his POV. I mean, am I right?
> 
> Other then that, I don't really have much to say. I hope my smut doesn't totally suck. If it does, please forgive me. I'm still a beginner at this, so keep that in mind. *sobs*
> 
> As usual, thank you guys SO much for the wonderful comments, kudos, and subscriptions. I love you all!
> 
> Now go on and read. :)

_Levi_

 

“More.”

            The instant the word left my mouth, I could see the conflict in Eren’s eyes, the way his face contorted with the inner battle he was facing. Then his expression changed, and those vibrant green eyes trained on my face. Without a word, he leaned forward and grabbed the base of the tie that was around my neck. He gave it a sharp tug to loosen the knot. Once it was undone, he slipped it off, grasping it in his hand. At this point, I was finding it hard to breathe in a normal rhythm. My entire body felt like it was burning from the inside out. Every nerve ending was hypersensitive, and with just a simple brush of his fingertips against the hollow of my neck, he rendered me speechless. I licked my lips, watching him as he took my left hand in his, flipping it over so my palm was facing up. He lifted it to his mouth, suckling on the skin of my inner wrist.

            “If we’re going to do this,” he whispered, hot breath washing over my skin, making me shiver, “we’re going to do it my way.” Then he pinned both of my arms above my head, crossing them at the wrists.

            “Eren.” His name came out as nothing more than a heavy breath. He wrapped the tie around one of the poles on the metal headboard, then around my wrists, securing them in place. I pulled against the restraint, meeting no leeway. He had made sure I wouldn’t be able to move my hands an inch.

            There was no time to take all this in before his mouth was on mine. I responded immediately, letting him take complete control over me. And since I couldn’t pull him closer with my hands, I wrapped my legs around his waist, pressing my heels against the small of his back, urging him forward. He gave my bottom lip a playful bite, eliciting a whimpering whine from me.

            He kissed a trail down to my collarbone, and I felt his hands roam up my chest, taking purchase of the first button on my shirt. Through the haze of lust, I wondered how it had escalated this quickly. We hadn’t known each other that long, but even knowing that, there was no doubt in my mind, no worries that could make me want to stop. Since the moment I laid eyes on him in that movie theatre, I’d wanted him in this way. I wanted him to be mine.

            When all the buttons were undone, he pushed the fabric apart, mouth moving down my body to press open-mouthed kisses along the center of my chest. His head moved to the right, smoldering eyes flicking up to lock on mine, forcing me to watch as he sucked at my nipple.

            “Ah, hah…” My head kicked back against the pillow. I was finding it hard to form any coherent thoughts, only being able to focus on the man that was taking over all my senses.

            He moved to my other nipple, causing the same reaction, and he smiled against my skin. “I’m going to like that,” he whispered, hands gliding up my sides, feeling my ribs as my breath quickened.

            The only word that wasn’t beyond my comprehension was, “Huh?”

            “How you’re so responsive,” he explained. As if to prove his point, he gently bit on my nipple and my entire body arched up, needing to be closer to him. “There are so many things I can do to you.” He moved up to nuzzle my neck. “Tell me what you want me to do.”

            I was willing to do anything with him. “Do whatever you want to me.” With anyone else, I'd never give myself over like I just had to him. But Eren wasn’t just anyone. I didn’t know why, but I trusted him completely. I knew he wouldn’t take advantage of me, or hurt me. There was this deep connection between us that I could neither understand, or explain.

            “Is that really what you want?” He looked at me, eyes searching mine.

            I nodded. “I want you in any way I can have you.” I knew I was putting myself on the line, risking rejection, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. Not when I was so close to having him. Even when a part of me knew he wouldn’t go all the way with me today. But at this point, I’d take what I could get.

            He groaned. “You just like making this harder on me, don’t you?” He didn’t even give me time to respond, fingers working at the button of my jeans. He slid the zipper down before he took hold of the waistband, pulling the material down passed my thighs, putting me on full display for him. His eyes skimmed over every inch of my body long enough to make me uncomfortable, but then a deep growl-like sound left his throat, and I knew he wasn't disappointed in what he was seeing.

            “This isn’t fair,” I said, bringing his attention away from the lower half of my body. “At least take off your shirt, you ass.”

            Eren smirked, grabbing the hem of his shirt. He slipped it up and over his head, tossing it to the side. I took in the sight of his bare chest and torso, meeting those long, defined muscles that drove me crazy with desire. I wanted to touch him, which caused me to yank my hands forward, but the silk tie held fast.

            “That’s why I tied you up in the first place,” Eren said. “If you can touch me, I wouldn’t be able to hold myself back.”

            “I don’t want you to hold back.”

            “That’s exactly why I have to.” Before I could protest, his mouth was on me again, drawing my focus to him. He nipped his way to my hip, sucking hard, leaving behind a mark that was already beginning to darken. That reminded me… I looked up at his neck, seeing the hickey I had put there only minutes ago. I liked how it would be visible to anyone who looked. They’d know that he was taken, that he was mine. “Has anyone ever touched you here?” Eren ran his finger down the head of my cock, making me forget about everything else.

            I bit down on my bottom lip, shaking my head.

            “Good.” He lowered himself down, and my breath caught in my throat. It was like looking at a car crash. There was no way I could look away, even when I felt a bit embarrassed that he was staring at me. I was so fucking hard. Was it even physically possible to _be_ this hard?

            “Ere—” The word was cut off by a loud moan as he sucked at the head of my cock. “Ah…you…”

            “Hmm?” he teased, tongue lapping back and forth in slow strokes. It was pure bliss, and anything I was about to say died on my lips.

            The noises I was making were loud and humiliating, but I couldn’t stop them from coming out. My hips were rolling forward, seeking more friction. Every part of my body was wound up tight, ready to burst. I wasn’t going to last long with how things were going, especially not with him looking up at me with those brilliant green eyes that stole my breath away.

            Since I didn’t have the use of my arms, I drew my right leg back, planting my foot on his chest. I shoved him back hard, and judging by the look of shock on his face, I had caught him off guard.

            “You should see your face right now,” I said, but it didn’t come out like I had been expecting it to. My voice was gruff and low, a total giveaway of just how fucking turned on I was. “You’re not playing fair.” I eyed his pants. He followed my gaze, and for a minute I thought he was going to ignore my request, but then he was unfastening the button, making my cock throb with want.

            “That better?” he said after he took them off. Damn. He was gorgeous. Was this hot, older man really into _me_?! I didn’t have a lot going for myself. I was short as hell, and built like a girl, even when I had worked out like mad over the summer. I was too thin to put on any real type of muscle, which left me with a lean frame and a sorry excuse for a six-pack.

            So why was he looking at me like I was something to look at?

            “Much,” I murmured, losing all sense of reason, because his mouth was back on my cock. I couldn’t even keep my eyes open, too far gone with pleasure. But he pulled back far too soon. “W-Why—” I sounded so wrecked, it was a wonder I could speak at all.

            “Do you trust me?” Eren asked.

            “Yes.”

            He must’ve believed me, because he reached over to grab the drawer handle of his nightstand, pulling it open. I watched as he took out a small bottle of lube, holding it in his hand as he moved back over me.

            “Look at me,” he said. I lifted my eyes to meet his. “I need you to know that you can tell me to stop at anytime. Do you understand?”

            I nodded. “I understand.”

            He gave me a quick nod of his head before popping open the cap of the bottle. He poured a generous amount onto his fingers, rubbing them together to coat them thoroughly.

            My chest was heaving with every breath I took, both with desperation and nervousness. How far was he going to take this? I knew I wanted him, but I also knew that I had no experience whatsoever. I wasn’t even nervous for my own self, more nervous of the fact that I didn’t know if I’d be able to please him in return.

            Any doubt that lingered was soon forgotten when I felt the tip of his finger at my entrance. My eyes snapped up to gaze into his, and I saw that his pupils were blown wide with arousal, masking the lively green. That’s all it took for me to relax, to let my body sag against the mattress as he circled his finger in a slow motion before working it inside of me.

            He stilled, letting me adjust to the sudden invasion. I shut my eyes, trying to get used to the feel of it. When I gave a small roll of my hips, he started to pump his finger slowly. It didn’t take long for it to start feeling good, and I didn’t even notice I was moving down to meet him until he slipped a second finger inside.

            “Shit,” I panted, lifting my head up to look at him.

            “You’re so fucking tight.” Eren bit and sucked on the sensitive part of my inner thigh, causing me to jerk beneath him. He was working my body like he knew exactly how to do it, ripping obscene sounds out of me. Then his fingertips brushed against something inside me that made my mouth fall open on a strained moan.

            He didn’t even give me time to recover, assaulting that spot until I was shaking uncontrollably and chanting his name. I didn’t even have enough strength to push him away, and I was so, so close. But I wanted him to come, too.

            “E-Eren,” I whimpered, back arching off the bed as he continued to move his fingers in the precise way that was driving me crazy. “I w-want—ah! ah!” I was given time to catch my breath when he slipped his fingers out of me. He undid the tie from around my wrists and I immediately pulled him against me, pushing my tongue into his mouth. He groaned and I felt his hard cock rub against mine. I dropped my eyes in time to see him wrap his hand around both of us.

            I thrust my hips in time with his, our cocks rubbing together in a way that had me clinging onto him, arms wrapped around his neck, legs crossed at the ankles around his back.

            He looked down at me, chocolate-brown hair falling over his eyes. “You’re so fucking hot.” His voice was the sexiest thing I’d ever heard. I could listen to it for the rest of time.

            I couldn’t even respond to him, the only thing leaving my mouth being harsh cries. It felt so good. His cock was so hard and hot against mine. It only took a few more strokes for my body to go completely rigid, before suddenly curling inward as I came. My nails scraped against his shoulders, the heels of my feet digging brutally into the small of his back as my cock jerked with each hot, thick stream that was pumped out of me.

            I collapsed with exhaustion onto the bed, my arms dropping to either side of me, my legs sliding down until they plopped lifelessly to the mattress. I pried my heavy eyelids open to watch Eren’s face screw up in concentration and pleasure, biting on his lower lip as he came hard onto my stomach.

            He sagged forward, rolling off of me to lie beside me. We were both breathing harshly, our chests rising and falling like we had just ran for miles.

            “Goddamn,” he panted.

            “You can say that again.”

            Turning his head to look at me, he grinned. “You’re going to be the end of me, you know that?”

            “I might know that.” As if I cared. He was everything I wanted and more. Just seeing his long, lean body made me want him all over again. I ran my hand down his chest, marveling in the contrast of our skin. I was so pale, while he had a sun-kissed tan. “Do you regret it?”

            “No.”

            I draped my leg over his hip, yanking him forward. “Good, because neither do I.”

            Suddenly someone started hammering on the door. “You guys,” Hanji whined. “I’m bored. Stop humping and come out here! I’m lonely! Are you naked? Can I come inside?”

            “Oh my god,” I said, rolling over to grab my boxers and slacks from off the floor. “Go away, you pervert!”

            I could hear her laughter through the door. “I love you, too, short baby. Now hurry up. I’m coming in in five seconds.”

            Eren and I exchanged glances, tugging our clothes on as fast as possible. I was buttoning up my shirt when she slipped inside, a look of innocence on her face. She stopped at the foot of the bed, putting her arms behind her back.

            “Did you guys fuck?” she asked.

            My mouth dropped open. “Hanji!” My eyes snapped toward Eren, who was shaking his head with a huge smile on his face.

            “No,” he said. “So wipe that smile off your face.”

            “You first!”

            “Can we stop talking about this?” I could feel heat flooding my cheeks. Hanji knew just how to kill a moment. It was her specialty. Especially since she hadn't given me any time to clean up.

            She walked over to me, slapping my hands away so she could button up my shirt the rest of the way. She was a lot faster than me, finishing within seconds. “Where’s your tie?” Her eyes scanned the room, landing on the headboard. “OOOOH! Did he tie you up? Tell me he did. I can die happy knowing that you were submissive.”

            “Please shut up,” I groaned, wishing the ground would open up and swallow me whole. I covered my face with my hands. 

            “It’s your own fault.” She shoved at my shoulder. “You’re the horny little shit who wouldn’t leave Eren alone. Buuuuut, if you guys didn’t do _it,_ then what did you do. I want details, people! I want thorough explanations.”

            I dropped my hands to glare at her. “I swear I’m going to throw you across the room.”

            “Don’t be such a meanie. I’ll just milk the information out of Eren. Right?” She turned to look at him.

            “Wrong,” he said. “Now, come on. Let’s go out into the living room.” He came over to where I stood, taking my hand. He dropped his head to whisper, “Ignore her. I won’t tell her anything.”

            I squeezed his hand, smiling up at him. I felt like I could float away at any moment, like every part of me was alive. I could only imagine how I would feel after we had sex for the first time.

            Geez, I really had no shame. 

            Looking up at him, at the sharp line of his jaw, I knew I wouldn’t feel this way with anyone else. There was something between us that I knew was special. It sounded cheesy as fuck, but I couldn’t deny it. It was there for anyone to see. Even my mom had noticed the difference in me, which caused her to interrogate me until I confessed that I _was,_  in fact,going out with someone. I still hadn’t told her that that someone was twenty-four, because I didn't know how she would react. My mom and I were pretty close, but something like that could really test a mother and son’s bond.

            Sooner or later, though, I would have to tell her. I couldn’t keep something like this a secret forever. And I didn’t even want to keep Eren a secret. I wasn’t ashamed of him in any way—it was the complete opposite, actually. I wanted to tell everyone about him, to let them all know that he was mine and I was his.

            Oh, God, I was really starting to sound like a total sap. Was Ryan Gosling going to pop out any second now? Was he going to proclaim his love to Rachel McAdams? The sad thing was, I couldn’t even hate on how he had acted in that movie. If hanging from a Ferris wheel would convince Eren to date me—if he weren’t already—I would do it. Though I highly doubted I’d look as attractive while doing it. And with my luck, I’d fall and die.

            I laughed under my breath. How pathetic would that be?

            “What is it?” Eren asked, sitting down on the couch, pulling me down next to him.

            “Nothing.” I snuggled against his side, leaning my head on his shoulder. “So, are you still withholding the information about where you’re taking me on our date tomorrow?” I was dying of curiosity.

            “Yes I am.” He patted my leg. “You’re not going to find out until you’re there.”

            “Damn you.”

            He pressed his lips right below my jaw. “You’ll like it. I promise.”

            I’d like anywhere he took me, so long as he was there. Still, I was a smartass by nature. “We’ll see.”

            He chuckled. “Guess we will.”

            Hanji threw herself back onto our laps. “You guys are ignoring me. I feel so unwanted.”

            “’Cause you are,” I teased, tapping my finger on her forehead.

            “You’re so mean to me.”

            “I’m so nice.” I tugged at her signature ponytail, earning myself a glare.

            A few minutes passed, with us looking for a movie to watch, when we heard the front door open. Armin came into the living room soon after, plopping down on his recliner.

            “Hey,” he said. “Are you guys hungry? Because I’m starving, and pizza sounds really good to me right now.”

            “Wanna order it?” Eren suggested.

            “Do you mind if we go out? I don’t feel like sitting at the house.” Armin got this weird look on his face, like he was hiding something. My thoughts were confirmed when Eren eyed him and gave a quick nod of his head.

            Whatever it was, I hoped it wasn’t bad.

            The tension between them only seemed to grow as we drove to the pizza joint. Even Hanji was quiet, her eyes darting between Eren and Armin, almost like she understood something that I didn’t. I got that feeling a lot—like the three of them were in on a secret that they weren't willing to share with me. It irritated me to no end. What was it? Was it bad? Would they ever let me know?

            When Armin parked in front of Pizza Hut, he said, “Eren, want to come in with me?”

            “Yeah, sure.”

            They slid out of the car, and I watched them walk up to the front entrance.

            “What was that about?” I said.

            Hanji shrugged. “I have no idea.” But I could tell that she wanted to know.

            We kept our eyes on them through the floor to ceiling windows. Armin was leaning into Eren, telling him something that I couldn’t make out. All I could see was Eren’s back, so I couldn’t see the way he was reacting to whatever he was being told. But I knew something was wrong. I could tell by the way he started fidgeting, shifting from foot to foot.

            By the time they came back out to the car, I was just waiting for Eren to burst at the seams. So it didn’t surprise me when he turned around in the passenger seat to face me, and said, “I have to go when we get back to the apartment. You can stay there as long as you want, or Armin can drop you off at your house, but there’s something that I have to do.”

            And what exactly was that something? It had to be important. Otherwise he wouldn’t just up and leave like this.

            “We’ll stay at your place,” Hanji said, speaking for me. “Right, Levi?”

            I crossed my arms over my chest. “Sure. Whatever.”

            Why did I have a feeling that this had to do with the secret they were keeping from me?  

           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *fidgets in nervousness* 
> 
> Did it totally suck? Ah! Idk why I'm so nervous about this. But I won't say anymore on that. Can you guys guess what Armin told Eren? I'm curious to know what you guys think it is. 
> 
> Next chapter will be back in Eren's POV, btw. Gotta get me back that Eren's view of things. 
> 
> Anywaaay, thank you for reading! :D


	11. Missing Piece

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are. I'm finally introducing more characters, and I'm extremely excited about it. I have so much plans for this fic before it comes to a close, and I hope all of you will stick around till the very end. :)
> 
> Also, there is something I'd like to say: If you're not all right with underage explicit material, may I advise you right now to go and find another fic to read. It's not that I don't understand where you're coming from, it's just that I used an underage and explicit archive warning since the beginning, and I was hoping that would explain what would be included in this fic of mine. This is just my little story of two characters I absolutely adore. I am in no way encouraging any underage readers to go out and find an older man. I would think that was obvious, but to some it's not. 
> 
> Anyway, it's three in the morning, and I desperately need some sleep, so this is where I say: Go reeeaaaaad. :)

Once Armin and I were alone in his bedroom, he sat me down in his computer chair, taking a seat opposite me on his bed. I couldn’t even think properly, which was the exact reason he hadn’t let me leave. He knew the way I could get when I reacted on impulse. Still, how did he expect me to sit here after what he told me?

            I looked up at him, watching those deep-blue eyes scan my face. If he didn’t start talking soon, I was going to get up and leave. I was already feeling the need to bolt, my foot tapping restlessly on the carpet beneath it.

            “Armin,” I said, willing him to get on with whatever he was planning to say.

            He sighed. “I want to go to her just as much as you do, but we don’t know anything about her in this life. If we show up at her place of work unannounced, several things could go wrong.” He dropped his eyes to look at the floor. “We don’t know if she remembers, Eren.”

            I stood up, unable to keep still. “We’re never going to find out if we just sit here.”

            “She’s a newscaster. We can’t barge into the news station, demanding to talk to her. We’d get thrown out.”

            “Then what are you planning to do?” I sat back down, swiveling the chair to face his computer. I turned it on. “What’s her new name?”

            Armin came to stand next to me, leaning forward to get a better view of the computer monitor. “Lena Nielson.”

            I typed the name into the Google search bar, hitting ENTER on the keyboard. Her name popped up on the Channel 3 news website, and I clicked on the link provided, waiting for the new page to load. Then there she was, her face covering the screen. She wasn’t smiling, which didn’t surprise me any. She was never one to smile, but she always wore her heart on her sleeves.

            “She still looks the exact same,” Armin said beside me, voice wobbly. I wanted to point out that she no longer had the scar on her cheek from when I attacked her as a titan, but that probably wouldn’t help him in the emotional department. He already looked like he was on the verge of tears. “You think she remembers?”

            I shut my eyes, letting my head fall back onto the chair. There was no way of telling from a picture whether she remembered or not. I could only hope that she did. Then again, wasn’t that selfish of me? These days, I was more selfish than not. There were so many things I had to think about, had to work on.

            My thoughts drifted toward the boy who was out in the living room, probably thinking about what Armin and I were talking about. I had almost given into him today. It had taken all of me to hold back. But even now, with everything that was happening, I could still feel that pull, that utter desire that would always draw me to him.

            “I don’t know,” I said finally. “There’s only one way to find out.” I got to my feet, already heading for the door. I wasn’t going to let Armin talk me out of this. If I got kicked out of the news station, then so be it. I had to see her. If she remembered, she’d come after me. Either way, I couldn’t stay put for a second longer.

            “Eren, wait.” Armin caught me by the arm. When I turned around to face him, he dropped his hand, eyes darting to the side. “I’d like to go with you.”

            I didn't have a problem with that. “Then let’s go.”

            “What about Levi and Hanji?”

            “Hanji will know what’s going on,” I said. She would recognize Mikasa if she saw her. “As for Levi, I’ll tell him that I found my long lost sister. It’s not a lie.”

            “It’s not, but how are you going to explain the fact that you’re _finding_ her? He’ll want to know.”

            I rubbed at my temples. There was so much I was already keeping from him, that this was just becoming another thing to tack onto the long list of secrets. I felt like at any moment I was going to break down and confess to everything, because even though he didn’t remember, I knew he felt that connection between us. Would it be so hard for him to believe the truth?

            “I don’t know, Armin. I’m tired of lying to him.”

            He put his hand on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’ll support you in whatever you decide to do. You know that, right? I’m always here for you.”

            “I know, and I’m grateful for that.”

            “Then let’s go get Mikasa,” he said, opening the door. We walked out to the living room to see Hanji sitting on the couch with a plateful of pizza. Levi was next to her, wearing one of my shirts. It fit him big—the long sleeves going passed his knuckles.

            I could die happy, because he looked adorable as fuck.

            When he saw what I was looking at, he said, “You know why I’m wearing this. And it’s not like I could ask for permission. Didn’t want to interrupt you guys.”

            I _did_ know why he was wearing it. Since Hanji had let herself into my room, he was forced to put back on his shirt before he could clean up. I could only imagine how uncomfortable he must’ve been on the drive to Pizza Hut earlier. I hadn’t even thought about it, too consumed in the afterglow.

            “It’s all right,” I said. “I don’t mind.”

            “‘Course you don’t!” Hanji pointed her hand at me, a pizza slice clutched in her fingers. “He looks as cute as a kitten in oversized clothing.”

            Levi narrowed his eyes at her. “I am not cute.”

            “Oh, believe me when I say that you are cute as hell,” I said. He glanced up at me, crossing his arms over his chest in defiance. “You’re sexy and manly as fuck, too, but come on. We have to go.”

            Hanji shoved as much pizza into her mouth as she could before getting up. She said something that I couldn’t make out passed the mouthful of food. I chalked it up to her being ready to go, because she was already heading for the door. Armin followed after her, eyes darting from me to Levi. They had both left to give us room to talk alone.

            I sighed, sitting down next to Levi on the couch. He didn’t move toward me, just sat there, looking in the direction opposite me. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

            “Don’t be,” he said too quickly.

            “I owe you an explanation for the way I was acting.” I owed him an explanation for _everything_ that was happening, not just why I had disappeared in the room with Armin. “I found my sister.”

            He finally turned to look at me. “ _Found_ her? What are you talking about?”

            “I haven’t seen her in a long time.” I tried to word things so I wasn’t telling him another lie. “We lost contact, went our separate ways. I’ve been looking for her for years, and Armin saw her today. That’s what he told me inside Pizza Hut. So, you can understand how I took the news.”

            “Is that where you’re wanting to go? To see her?”

            I nodded. “Yeah. I wanted to go the second we got here, but Armin thought it would be best if I calmed down before I went to go see her.”

            “I get why,” Levi said. I eyed him. “Don’t get all offended. It’s just that you get really impulsive and passionate when you act before you think. Sometimes that can be a bit overwhelming.” He already knew me better than half the people who referred to themselves as my friends. His past self had to be somewhere locked inside of him, but was there any way to get to it?

            “I know it can.”

            He grabbed my hand. “Come on. Let’s stop sitting around. I know you want to go and talk to your sister.” We stood up at the same time, and he tilted his head up to look at me. “Where is she, anyway?”

            Here we go. “Well, it turns out she’s a newscaster for Channel 3, which means we’re going to the news station in Gilbert.”

            “Wow, okay. This day is turning out to be eventful.”

            “I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t know this was going to happen.”

            He wrapped his arms around my neck, tugging me down to his height. “It’s okay. There’s just stuff we have to talk about.” He had no idea just how much “stuff” he was referring to. There seemed to be an endless amount of things that we needed to discuss. But now was not the time to think about all that. Right now, I only had one thing on my mind.

            “I know. We can talk when we get back, okay?” Was I ready to talk? Was I ready to tell him everything?

            “Okay.” He let his arms drop, but I caught his hand in mine, holding it tight in my own.

            We walked out of my apartment, meeting up with Hanji and Armin in the parking lot. We all climbed into Armin’s car, because he didn’t trust me to keep to the speed limit, so he insisted on driving. I wanted to argue, but I knew he was right. With how I was feeling, I’d be pulling a Fast and the Furious on the freeway.

            The whole drive there, I sat tensely in the back seat. I refused to let go of Levi’s hand, so he had dragged us to the back of the car, while Hanji gladly took up the passenger seat. None of us talked to each other. There wasn’t really much to say. I couldn’t start up a conversation, because the only thing I was thinking about was Mikasa.

            What would I do if she didn’t remember? It’s not like I could just invade her life. But would she at least allow me the time to try to become her friend? I knew the moment I saw her picture on that computer screen, that I couldn’t return to the way life was before. I couldn’t ignore the fact that she was living in a city right next to me. Even if she didn’t have her memories, I was going to fight to be a part of her life.

            “Um, ow,” Levi said. He lifted up our interlocked fingers to face level. “You’re crushing my hand.”

            “Oh, shit. I’m sorry.” I loosened my grip, bringing his slender fingers to my lips, pressing quick kisses to each one.

            “Sap.” But he made no attempt to move away.

            “We’ve been through this. You like it.”

            “Lies,” he said, and I gently bit on one of his fingers. “You—” I ran my tongue along the pad of his forefinger, looking up at him, cutting off the rest of his sentence. He breathed out shakily. “Asshole.”

            I gave the tip of his finger one last nip before bringing his hand down to rest on my knee. “An asshole you’re dating.”

            “Allow me to rectify that.” He snatched his hand back, placing it on his own knee. He lifted up one thin eyebrow. “See. I have the willpower to resist you. It’s simple.” A smug smile lifted the corner of his lip in a horribly adorable, crooked way.

            “Is that so?” I narrowed my eyes at him, moving closer. He tilted his chin up, nodding once. I grinned when suddenly the radio was turned on. I didn’t even have to look up to know Hanji was behind that.

            With the sound of my voice kept from Armin in the front seat, I tilted my head down to press my lips below Levi’s jawline. “I can still remember the way your cock felt against mine.” I felt him shudder and I smirked, running the very tip of my tongue up to his ear. “You were so hot and tight around my fingers. I can only imagine how good it would feel to be inside you.”

            He pushed me away, pale cheeks alight with the blood that had rushed there, turning them an edible rosy pink. “Damn it. Stop.”

            “Why?” I dropped my eyes to look at his crotch. I looked back up at him. “Getting hard?”

            Suddenly, he leaned forward and bit down on my bottom lip—hard enough to make me wince, but soft enough to make heat spark throughout my body. “Fucking tease,” he whispered.

            I licked my lip where he had bitten. “Guilty as charged.”

            “We’re here,” Armin said, and my head snapped to the side to look at the massive building that he had pulled up in front of. Mikasa was in there right now. “Are you ready?” Blue eyes settled on my face, gauging my expression.

            I took a deep breath in. “No, but let’s go.” I leaned forward to peck Levi on the cheek. “Wish me luck.”

            “You won’t need it. Everything will be fine.” He cupped my cheek, giving me a reassuring look.

            “I hope you’re right.” Then I was out of the car. As I walked around the hood, my eyes locked with Hanji’s. She gave me a thumbs up.

            On the sidewalk, I stopped beside Armin. “I feel like my stomach is about to drop out of my ass,” I told him.

            “That’s nerves, Eren. And gross.” He jerked his chin in the direction of the entrance. “We can do this. Together.”

            “Yeah.”

            We walked into the building, and I was surprised that we weren’t immediately cornered by security. I was expecting some type of resistance, some barrier we were going to have to fight through. But this wasn’t a movie, and no FBI agents were going to appear out of nowhere to question why we were here.

            Like a regular place of business, there was a front desk with a receptionist behind it. When we approached it, she glanced up at us with huge, green eyes.

            She smiled wide. “How can I help you gentlemen?”

            “We’re here to see Lena Nielson,” I said, refraining from fidgeting.

            “Do you have an appointment?”

            Geez, the last thing I was going to let stop me was something as trivial as an appointment. “No.” Before the lady could speak up, I added, “I’m her brother.”

            She fixed the black spectacles on the bridge of her nose. “Give me a minute, please.” She picked up the phone that was to her right, pressing a few buttons before lifting it to her ear. “Hey, there are two men down here wanting to see Lena. They don’t have an appointment, but one of them is saying he’s her brother.” She eyed me. “He looks nothing like her, in my opinion.”

            I clenched my teeth. “She’s adopted.”

            She paid no attention to me, listening to whoever was on the other end of the line. “What? Why would you want me to describe him? That’s really what she wants?” She sighed, like her job was the hardest thing in the world. “He’s tall, with dark-brown hair and these insanely bluish-green eyes. He has this wicked tan, too.” She wrapped her hand around the mouthpiece of the phone. “Are you single?”

            “What?” I asked. What did that have to do with any of this? “No.”

            Her face fell. “Too bad. You’re hot.” She leaned back in her chair, hanging up the phone.

            “What did she say?” I was practically on top of the desk, at this point.

            “She’s coming down. What’s your name, anyway?”

            This lady was not professional at all. Her flaming red hair was pulled back into pigtails, which didn’t give off an I-work-at-a-news-station vibe.

            “Eren.”

            Her eyes widened, mouth dropping open. “No way! _The_ Eren? Eren Yeager?”

            “You know who I am?”

            She didn’t answer me, springing up from her seat. She jogged around the desk to stand in front of me, grabbing my arms. “Tell me you found him.”

            “Huh?” I was too surprised by her sudden interest to say much else.

            “Levi,” she said. “From what Mikasa has told me, you two were a thing in our past life.”

            Who the fuck was this person?

            “Who are you?” I tried to move away from her, but she dug her nails into my skin.

            “Isabel Magnolia. Levi and I were real close back then. Please, just tell me if you found him or not.”

            This was all happening way too fast, because not only did I unintentionally find an old friend of Levi’s, I also just found out that Mikasa had her memories. Why else would this Isabel chick call her by her past name?

            “I found him,” I said. She sagged in relief, eyes watering. “He doesn’t remember anything, though.”

            Her mouth opened to say something, but she never got the words out, because the next thing we heard was, “Eren!”

            I turned around to see Mikasa stepping out of the elevator. She stood rigid the moment I glanced in her direction, dark eyes moving to my face. Her black hair was cut short, just above her shoulders, making her look more like her past self. But she no longer was the fifteen-year-old soldier she was back then. Her body was less defined, womanlier with age.

            “Mikasa.” Her name came out as a whisper. She was really here. She was really right in front of me. After all these years, I had finally found her, and she remembered everything.

            Her eyes drifted to the side of me. “Armin.”

            After that, we were all running toward each other. Armin and I practically knocked Mikasa back as we embraced her. I hadn’t cried in years, but I was sobbing like a damn baby, and I had no shame in that. A part of me that had been missing was finally here with me.

            A small eternity later, she pulled back. She wiped at her face with the sleeve of her white, button-down blouse. “We have a lot to catch up on. There are so many things I want to know.”

            I nodded. “We can go anywhere you want. We can talk for the rest of the day…just…” I put my hand on her shoulder, feeling the warmth of her skin through the fabric of her shirt. “You’re really here.”

            “Yes,” she said. “And so are you. The both of you.” She glanced at Armin, smiling.

            “I hate to ruin this Kodak moment,” Isabel said, “but Eren found Levi. He may not remember who I am, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to see him. I need to know how he’s doing, if he’s okay.”  

            As much as the fact of introducing another stranger that Levi would no doubt feel a connection with scared me, I knew what she was feeling. I couldn’t deny her this. In the end, I had no right. He may have been my lover, but that didn’t mean I was the only one who had loved him. There were others, and even when I didn’t know this girl in front of me, I could tell by her expression that she wasn’t lying.

            “He’s in the car,” I said. She was already walking toward the front double doors, but I caught her by the arm. Her head whipped back, green eyes glaring daggers at me. She was desperate, but I had to say something before she ran off. “Please, take it easy on him. He’s already confused with all this. Act like you’re an old friend of mine, and that you heard Hanji, a girl I used to babysit, was out in the car.”

            “Who’s Hanji?”

            “Someone else from the past. She was a good friend of Levi’s, too.”

            “I’ll go along with what you said. So can I go now?” She tugged on her arm.

            I released her. “Yeah.”

            Not wasting a second, Isabel went sprinting toward the door. That’s when I suddenly remembered something that Levi had told me in our other life. He had said that two of his best friend’s from the underground died because of a choice he had made. Was this one of those friend’s he was talking about? If that were the case, then the last time Isabel saw Levi was right before she died.

            Now I could understand a little better why she was in such a rush to go see him. But would all these people from his past spark something inside of him? Would Isabel’s presence be able to trigger a past memory? She knew him long before the Survey Corps, after all. Before he was humanity’s strongest.

            “Eren,” Mikasa said, resting her hand on my arm. “We should go out there, too. Isabel can be very eccentric, and God only knows how she’ll react when she sees Levi.”

            Armin chuckled, bringing both our attention to him. “Sorry. It’s just that she’s going to see a fifteen-year-old boy who may look like Levi, but acts like a normal kid.”

            Mikasa’s eyes flicked up to my face. “Fifteen?”

            Great. Armin just had to throw that out there, didn’t he? He couldn’t wait for me to explain everything.

            “Yeah,” I said.

            “And are you two…” Her voice trailed off, but I knew where she was getting at.

            “Yes, we’re dating, but please don’t judge me right now.”

            “I wasn’t planning to. If the love between you two lasted after death, then I’m happy you found each other in this life. And, if I remember correctly, he really loved you, so I’m not against you being with him. In fact, I think he’s the only person who deserves you.”

            Only fifteen minutes after finding her, and already I couldn’t picture a day passing by without her in it.

            I reached out and took her hand, throwing my free arm over Armin’s shoulders, pulling them both closer to me. “Let’s go. By now, I’m sure Isabel and Hanji are driving Levi mad.”

            We walked out of the building together, and I felt happier than I'd ever been in my life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes! I loved Isabel's spirit in A Choice With No Regrets, and I knew I was going to include her in this fic from the very beginning, but I didn't tag her, because I wanted there to be some surprises for you guys. There will also be another character (or two) that I haven't tagged, and I hope that doesn't annoy you guys, or anything. 
> 
> So, what did you guys think? Next chapter will be a long one. I want Eren and Mikasa to have their time together to catch up, and I also want that date between Levi and him to happen. I need it, at this point, because there are so many things that need to be said.
> 
> P.S. Forgot to add this last night (more like morning), but Isabel HAS met Hanji before, but in my fic, I have the characters memory getting fuzzy toward their death. So, Isabel doesn't remember her. She mostly remembers her life in the underground with Levi and Farlan. Sorry if I left you confused, I was just so tired and ready for sleep when I posted this chapter. But as you may have guessed, Hanji remembers her. :) 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading, commenting, and leaving me kudos. :) You guys always make my day.


	12. Preparations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am actually shocked at how fast I'm writing these chapters. Seriously, it's a miracle. Usually I struggle with writers block, but these last three chapters have been so easy and fun to write, that they were written faster than I thought possible. I hope that pleases you guys, because it sure as hell pleases me lol. 
> 
> Anyway, before I get carried away, I know I said I was going to try to fit in Levi and Eren's date in this chapter, but it just got too long for me to do that. Plus, I really want a whole chapter dedicated to their date, so that's going to happen next chapter. I hope I didn't disappoint you guys.
> 
> With all that said, go on and read. ;)

Early the next morning, I met up with Mikasa at a local coffee shop in downtown Gilbert. I had barely slept the night before, my brain going into overdrive with thoughts about how Levi had reacted upon seeing Isabel for the first time in this life. He kept staring at her like she was a ghost, like something in his head had clicked, but he couldn’t figure out for the life of him what that something was.

            Before he had left my apartment, he asked so many questions about her. It almost felt like he wanted to know every detail about her life. When I asked him why he was so interested in her, he got this confused look on his face, which had been followed by a low, “I don’t know.”

            I knew why, and seeing him like that made me want to tell him the reason behind his deep curiosity. If this were happening to me, I’d want someone to tell me the truth. Even if it confused me, or made me doubt everything that I knew, I’d want to know. And that was just the thing: I _knew_ Levi. If he were here beside me, his past self, he’d smack me on the back of the head and tell me to stop beating around the bush, because he’d want the truth, too.

            “You’re worried about him, aren’t you?” Mikasa said, taking a sip of her green tea. Her dark eyes watched me intently over the rim of the lid, concentrating on my facial expression.

            “Yes.” I pushed the iced coffee I had away from me, droplets of condensation rolling down the sides of the plastic cup. “Do you think seeing Isabel caused something to, I don’t know, _click_ in his head?”

            She set her cup down, lacing her fingers together. She rested her chin on them. “Perhaps. You can’t be sure until more time passes.”

            “How much time are we talking about here?”

            “It depends.” She turned her head to look out the window next to us. “For me, it took several months.”

            “Wait, your memories were triggered?”

            She sighed. “Yes. Up until I was eleven years old, I didn’t have any memories of our past life. I was a normal kid, living a normal life.” She dropped her hands into her lap, a distant look in her eyes. “My father got a job in a new town, so we moved that year, right after my eleventh birthday. I was really upset. I threw a fit the whole drive to our new house, and it got a lot worse on my first day of school.”   

            I couldn’t picture Mikasa throwing a fit. She had always been so obedient to my mother, never stepping out of line, or talking back.

            “It happened on the playground,” she continued. “I hadn’t made any friends, so I was sitting alone on the swing set, kicking up sand. That’s when I heard her screaming…Isabel. I felt something—I don’t know how to explain it, but I felt this need to go and help her. So I ran up to the boy that was yanking her by the hair, and I pushed him off her.” She laughed, giving her head a small shake. “Isabel looked up at me with those big, green eyes, but she didn’t look grateful. She looked royally pissed off, like she hadn’t wanted my help. That’s what did it for me. Looking down at those eyes, an image of you flashed through my head, and after that, I started to remember.”

            It felt like someone had just kicked me in the stomach. I had no idea it could work like that. Is that how it worked all the time? Did something meaningful trigger my memories? Armin’s? Did seeing Isabel trigger Levi’s memories?

            “How did you start remembering?” I asked. “Did you have nightmares?”

            Mikasa reached over the table to take my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Eren, take a deep breath.” I did, feeling a little better. “I got flashbacks at first. Then they escalated to nightly nightmares, but there’s something you need to understand before you start panicking.”

            “What is that?”

            “If Levi starts to remember, then you don’t have anything to worry about. It may take a few months, and he may pull away from you during that time, but once he remembers who he once was—who _you_ once were—he’ll want to be in your life.”

            I dropped my head in my hands, rubbing at my eyes with the heels of my palms. “Don’t you think he’ll be mad that I kept the truth from him?”

            “Maybe at first,” she said. “But once his memories are restored, he’ll understand why you didn’t tell him.”

            I ran my fingers through my hair, wishing that everything could be solved already. The trust Levi had put in me would be shattered the instant his memories started to return. I could remember all too clearly the way it felt to regain my memories of the past. They didn’t come in chronological order. I didn’t even remember my life before the wall was breached by the colossal titan. So if Levi did start remembering, there was no guarantee that he’d recall us as a couple. For all I knew, it could take years for those particular memories to resurface.

            “Let’s talk about something else,” I muttered. “We came here to talk about you, and here I am talking about my problems. It’s only the first day having you back in my life, and already I’m making you put up with my shit.”

            Mikasa smiled. “Don’t worry. I’m used to it. And, honestly, I don’t mind. I’ve missed you enough to want to deal with your shit for the rest of my life.”

            I laughed. “Well, we both know that I’ll have plenty of shit throughout our lifetime for you to deal with. No, but seriously, tell me about yourself. Tell me about Lena Nielson.”

            She cringed at the name, rolling her eyes at me. “I only kept that name to become a newscaster. It’s not like Mikasa Ackerman is a modern name.”

            “It would have stood out, though,” I said.

            “That’s not the point. The reason I became a newscaster is so I could have enough money to travel. I’ve been looking for you and Armin since I was eighteen.”

            “Really? How old are you now?” She didn’t look much older than me. She had to be around the same age range. Then again, appearances were misleading. A lot of people didn’t believe that I was twenty-four, saying that I had a baby-face, and looked nineteen.

            “Twenty-three,” she said, pushing my coffee toward me. “Drink your coffee. Don’t let it go to waste.”

            I picked it up off the table, sipping on it while I gazed at Mikasa. I couldn’t get over how…girly she looked. In our other life, we never had enough money to buy her extravagant things like jewelry, but she never doted on that fact. She always seemed happy with what she had. But seeing her now, with her diamond earrings and silver bracelets, I wondered just how much she wanted those things back then.

            As I was looking at her slender wrist, I noticed a black marking that disappeared under the cuff of her blouse. “What’s this?” I asked, grabbing her hand, pushing her sleeve up. “A tattoo!” My eyes moved up to hers. “When did you get this?”

            She snatched her hand back, averting her eyes. “Four years ago.”

            “You didn’t let me get a good look at it.” I placed my hand right side up on the table. “Lemme see.”

            She sighed before dropping her hand in mine. Upon closer inspection, I saw that the ink wasn’t black, but a deep copper color. The tattoo wrapped around her wrist in slender lines, a few flowers sprouting at the very end.

            “The design is based off a henna tattoo,” Mikasa explained.

            “I like it.”

            “You haven’t told me anything about yourself, Eren. What do you do for a living? Where do you live? Are you well off?”

            I lifted my hand up in a please-stop-this-minute motion. “Hold the twenty questions. First off, I’m a QA Tester. Second, I live in an apartment with Armin, and we happen to be very well off. So don’t even start worrying. What about you? Where do you live?”

            She crossed her arms over her chest, giving me a look that reminded me of Levi. “I live in an apartment down the road from here. Isabel is my roommate.”

            “You see! We both fared well in this life.”

            “I suppose we did.” She smiled, and then suddenly her expression went serious. She snaked her hand across the table to grab mine, glancing up to stare intensely at me. “I’m happy we found each other. I know you have a lot on your plate, as it is, so if you want me to only visit you every once in a while, I'll understand. I don’t want to intervene in your life. I think—”

            “Mikasa,” I said, cutting her off. “If you think I don’t want you in my life, then you’re crazy wrong. I want to see you as often as possible.”

            The expression that had pinched her features together relaxed as she breathed out. “I wanted to give you the option to decide. This is another lifetime, after all. I wasn’t sure if you wanted another reminder of the past.” She dropped her eyes. “A lot of things happened that I’m sure you wouldn’t like to remember.”

            “I admit that there are plenty of awful things that haunt my memories, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you to be a part of my life. Like you said, this is another lifetime. There are no titans here, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let them rip us apart in this life, too. So, you’re stuck with me.”

            “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” she said before she gave a quick glance at her wristwatch. “I’m due at the news station in half an hour. I would call in, but since I just started there, missing a day of work so soon would look bad.”

            I waved it off. “Don’t worry. We have all the time in the world to catch up.”

            “I’m taking your word on that.” She pushed back in her seat, getting to her feet. I followed suit, picking up my iced coffee.

            We walked out to the parking lot, stopping beside her white Honda Civic. She pulled open the driver’s side door.

            “Call me later,” I said. She nodded, and then suddenly flung herself into my arms. My eyes widened in surprise, but then I wrapped my arms around her waist, returning her hug.

            “I’ve waited two thousand years to tell you not to leave me again.”

            I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m not going anywhere. Even though I might still die before you in this life, too, because I literally live off Hot Pockets.”

            She pulled back, glaring at me. “That won’t do. We’re going to change that immediately.”

            “Yeah, I thought that’s what you’d say. Now”—I spun her around—“get to work before you’re late.”

            “All right, I’m going.” She stepped into her car, sitting down in the seat. As she reached for the door handle, she said, “He loves you, you know.”

            I looked down at her. “He hasn’t known me long enough in this life to love me yet, Mikasa.”

            “Time doesn’t matter. I think your love for him proves that. I remember too well how that short-stack looked at you in our other life. Yesterday, when we were yanking Isabel out of your car, he was looking at you the same way he used to. He loves you.” I must’ve smiled like a total idiot, because she rolled her eyes at me. “Stop worrying so much, Eren. For the sake of your relationship with him, just go with the flow.”

            “I never thought you’d be giving me advice that would actually _help_ my relationship with Levi. I mean, you were angry as all hell when you found out back when it first happened.”

            She shut her door, turning on her car so she could roll down her window. She leaned her elbow over the side. “That’s because he was thirty-four and you were fifteen. In my opinion, this is karma's way of payback. Now he’s the innocent one, while you’re the experienced one.”

            “Too true,” I said.

            “Now, I really have to go. I’ll call you after work.”

            “Okay. Drive safely.”

            I watched her pull out of the parking space, maneuvering her car out of the lot. When she was out of sight, I went to my car, climbing inside. As I drove home, I thought about what Mikasa had said. Did Levi love me already? I broke into a smile, smacking my hand on the steering wheel, which caused me to swerve into the lane to my right. The driver I almost hit honked at me, flipping me off.

            Any other day, I would’ve returned it, but today was different. Instead, I rolled down the passenger window, watching the guy do the same. “He loves me!” I shouted at him. The guy gave me a what-the-fuck-are-you-even-talking-about look. I just continued to smile, waggling my fingers at him as I sped up.

            By the time I got home, I was basically dancing down the pathway that led to the backdoor of my apartment. Once I unlocked it, I pushed it open, stepping into the empty kitchen. I was doing a horrible impression of the Gangnman Style dance, when my phone went off in my pocket.

            It was Levi. I answered with a singsong voice. “Hey, babe.”

            “Say it again,” he said.

            I grinned. “Hey, babe.”

            “That sounds nice, but you made me forget what I was going to say. So shut up for a minute and let me think.”

            “I wasn’t even talking.”

            “Shut it, I said.”

            “Yes, sir.”

            After a few minutes, he said, “Okay, I remembered. How should I dress for our date tonight? Casual? Formal? I mean, if you’re going to take me to Burger King, then I’m going to dress for the occasion.”

            I scoffed. “I wouldn’t take you to Burger King for our first date. Damn, is that how little you think of me?”

            He chuckled. “Oh, my god, Eren. Don’t get all butt hurt. I was kidding.” When I didn’t say anything, he added, “Aw, did I hurt my wittle baby’s feelings.”

            “Yes, you did. And I was totally planning to suck your dick tonight, too. You ruined that for yourself.”

            He sputtered. “ _What?_ No, wait, I can apologize.”

            I laughed. “You’re too easy. You see, you’re not the only one who can kid around.”

            “Ugh, I hate you!”

            “That’s too bad, because I happen to really like you.”

            “Don’t think you can sweet talk yourself out of this one.”

            I smiled, leaning up against the kitchen counter. “Come on, baby. Don’t be mad at me. Not when I’m so eager to see you tonight.”

            He blew out a long breath, causing static to erupt in my ear. “I can’t with you,” he said. “Just tell me what I need to wear tonight.”

            “Oh, are you taking requests now? ‘Cause there are plenty of outfits I can suggest…” I trailed off.

            “Just remember when I smack you later on tonight, you asked for it.”

            “Fine,” I said. “Just dress casually.”

            A moment of silence passed before Levi mumbled, “If I _were_ taking requests, which I’m not, what would you want me to wear?”

            God, the images that flashed through my head were not suitable for a night out. “Don’t make me say the things that are going on in my head right now. Go ahead and wear whatever you want. You’ll look hot in anything you pick. And don’t even argue with me, because you will.”

            “I should dress in the ugliest outfit I have, and see if you still feel the same way.”

            “Oh, I will,” I confirmed. “You can dress in the ugliest clothes known to man, and I’d still think you’d look hot, and you want to know why?” He grunted in response. “Because _you’re_ hot.”

            “I wish you can see the eye roll that that sentence just caused,” he said, but I could hear the smile in his voice. “Anyway, I have to go. My mom just got back from the grocery store, and I highly doubt she wants to hear where this conversation is going. I’ll see you tonight, okay?”

            “Okay.”

            “Bye, babe.” He hung up right after that, not giving me the chance to mention that he had added babe.

            I put my cell phone back in my pocket as I made my way to my room. It was only ten in the morning, which meant I had eight long hours to wait before I went to pick up Levi for our date. That felt like an eternity away.

            I had planned our date to the T. Armin helped a lot, giving me great suggestions that I never would’ve thought of on my own, which made me all too grateful to have a best friend that was smart as hell. Who knew science could help improve a date? Certainly not me.

            I tossed myself onto my bed, kicking off my shoes in the process. Later on today, I would have to run to the supermarket to get all the ingredients I would need to cook up the meal I planned to take with us. I never thought I’d actually wind up cooking, but restaurants seemed too cliché and plain for Levi. He may think I was a sap, but I wanted to make our first date special.

            Rolling onto my stomach, I grabbed my cell phone, sending Armin a quick text message. He was going to help me with the cooking, because if it were left up to me, the apartment would end up in flames. Seriously, when it came to my cooking, I had no skill whatsoever. It was actually pretty sad.

            Armin, though—he had it going on when it came to those cooking skills. I had my own personal Gordon Ramsay, minus the yelling and screaming of profanities every couple of minutes. Though I wouldn’t have minded if he let a few curse words slip out every now and then. I swear Armin was some kind of saint, sent directly from heaven.

            Speaking of which, he sent me a text stating that I should not even attempt to begin cooking until he was home. Yeah, I love the amount of confidence he had in me. Rub the fact that I couldn’t cook to save my life in my face, Armin. Thank you. I appreciate it.

            As I was texting him back, I got a picture from Levi. It was of a pair of galaxy leggings that were spread out on his bed. The message attached was: **_Can you believe that Hanji wants me to wear these to our date tonight? Please tell her she’s crazy._**

            I mentally pictured him in the leggings and grinned from ear to ear. He would look so damn cute. Not that I had any hopes of seeing him in them. I knew him—he wouldn’t wear them. But I couldn’t stop that from letting me put my input, right? I had every right to tell him what I thought.

           

            **_Me: You’d look hot. I’m picturing you in them, and damn!_**

****

I sent him the text, smiling, because I knew he was going to make some type of smartass remark. He’d probably tell me to go jump off a bridge for even liking Hanji’s suggestion. But I had to give it to Hanji for knowing exactly how to push his buttons.

            My phone vibrated, and I looked at his text.

 

            **_Levi: Please tell me you’re joking. I am not wearing those. Hell to the no._**

****

I knew it.

****

**_Me: I figured. A boy can dream, though, right?_ **

****

**_Levi: Oh, shut up right now. I’m not going to dress as some galactic Peter Pan._ **

 

            I laughed, envisioning him in full Peter Pan attire, which led me to picture myself in Captain Hook’s clothing. It didn’t suit me at all.

 

            **_Me: Okay. I won’t wear my Tinker Bell outfit, then._**

****

**_Levi: I’d pay to see that._ **

****

**_Me: In your dreams! I wouldn’t be caught dead in a fairy outfit._ **

****

**_Levi: Whatever you say. We all know you secretly like to prance around in a fairy costume._ **

****

I rolled my eyes, typing out a quick response.

 

            **_Me: OMG, how did you know?! I thought I kept it so well hidden._**

****

**_Levi: Baby, I hate to break it to you, but you’re not that crafty. But, hey, I have to go. My mom is insisting (keyword) that I watch this chick flick with her._ **

****

**_Me: You know you want to watch it. Probably dying to. But I’ll ttyl. Don’t shed too many tears throughout the movie._ **

****

**_Levi: That does it. I’m decking you tonight. Be prepared. But I seriously have to go. My mom is threatening to take my phone, and we all know I have too much porn on this phone for that to happen._ **

 

            I laughed, not bothering to respond. He probably had already shut off his phone by now. Plus, there were things I had to do.

            Getting out of bed, I began the preparations for our date—far too excited for my own good. The only thing I could hope for was that tonight turned out to be one to remember.   

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try (keyword right there) my very best to update before Thanksgiving, so you guys can read their lovely date before then. Honestly, I'm so eager to get started on the next chapter, because I've envisioned their date, and ah! I want to write it out already. 
> 
> P.S. I didn't even know what to name this chapter, so excuse the lame title. Ugh!
> 
> As always, thank you guys so much for reading, and sticking with this fic of mine. I truly appreciate all the lovely comments and kudos. You guys are babes! And I'm so happy to have this support. It gives me the will to continue writing this fic. ❤


	13. Past Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo! I actually got this finished before Thanksgiving! Congratulations to me! 
> 
> So, this chapter took a turn. I wasn't expecting it to come to a close (the chapter) this way, but Levi had A LOT running through his mind, and let me tell you, he informed me on some things. I knew about them--obviously, since I'm the author of this story--but I didn't think they'd get to be revealed this soon. Not that too much was revealed in this chapter, but you'll see. 
> 
> Now go on and enjoy. :)

“Eren, if you don’t start stirring that, it’s going to burn,” Armin said.

            I looked down at the saucepan like it was a foreign object. Picking up the wooden spoon from off the cutting board, I began to stir the red paste that resembled sludge. God, was that how it was supposed to look? That didn’t even faintly resemble something I wanted to put in my mouth.

            Armin peeked over my shoulder at my handiwork, telling me to add more basil. I stared at him as though he were greatly overestimating my cooking abilities, which he was, and he rolled his eyes, adding the ingredient himself. After that, he lowered the heat, and covered the pan with the lid that had been put off to the side.

            “It needs to simmer for a good twenty minutes,” he said.

            I just nodded in response, because I had no idea what I was doing. Seriously, it was a miracle that I hadn’t already burned the damn tomato paste, which looked like something I’d rather not compare it to. Especially since I was going to be eating it later on tonight. Maybe I should change the meal plan, but there was no way that was going to happen, because I needed to pick up Levi in less than two hours. I was stuck with this Chicken Diablo crap, or whatever the hell Armin called it.

            When I made no attempt at checking on the sauce, Armin pushed me aside and started cooking everything himself. He added chicken and some other ingredients to the paste, and I sat back and watched. If it were anything but cooking, I’d hate to let someone take over for me. But it was cooking, and I sucked at preparing food enough to let someone else step in for me.

            “Go get ready,” said Armin, shooing me out of the kitchen.

            I couldn't object to that. “Loooove you,” I cooed in a teasing voice, blowing him a kiss for extra measure before I disappeared around the corner.

            Once I was in my room, I was confronted with the task of finding a proper outfit. I had told Levi to dress casually, so it shouldn’t be too hard to pick out some clothes, right? But one look in my closet told me otherwise, because I seriously was in need of a shopping spree. When you went out as little as I did, clothes weren’t exactly on the top of your shopping list.

            I pushed aside several shirts that were a no go, and kept going until I landed on my white Joy Division cut-off Tee. I pulled it down, along with a pair of dark-blue jeans. This was casual enough.

            After I was dressed, and pulled on my black Vans, I went back out to the kitchen to find Armin stirring brown rice around in a skillet with a spatula. He glanced over at me, nodding his head in the direction of a bottle of vegetable oil. He told me to add a little while he checked up on the sauce and chicken.

            Adding a bit of oil shouldn’t be a big deal. I grabbed the bottle, twisting off the lid. Okay, so what exactly was a little? It varied from person to person, so I poured the smallest amount in, stirring it around, hoping that it wouldn't suddenly combust into flames.

            “Armin,” I said. “When you said a little, you meant _a little_ , am I right?”

            He glared at me over his shoulder. “You can’t be serious right now. A little is a little, Eren.”

            “That’s what I’m saying.”

            He rolled his eyes. “Move aside. Let me check it.” I stepped out of his way, watching him give the rice a good stir. “It’s fine.” He looked at the stove clock. “When exactly are you picking up Levi?”

            “Eight. Is this all going to be done by then?”

            “Should be.” He turned around to lean up against the counter, crossing his arms. “So Hanji told me about your little ‘fun’ time with Levi the other day.”

            If Hanji were here, I could literally kill her with my glare. “Oh, she did now?”

            He sighed. “Listen, I know you’re old enough to decide what you want to do. But I also know that when it comes to Levi, your judgment is a bit on the hazy side.” I opened my mouth to shoot something back at him, but he held up his finger. “I know how much you love him, okay. I know you’d never hurt him intentionally, but in this day and age, that doesn’t matter. All they see is age, and the age difference between you and him makes sexual conduct between the two of you illegal.”

            “I know this, Armin,” I muttered. I did _not_ need this conversation before my date with Levi tonight.

            “Just remember that you’re not the only one who can get hurt if things between the two of you go to the next level. Just imagine how heart-broken and guilt ridden he’d feel if you ended up going to jail.”

            I flinched at that. “Wow, Armin. Thank you. That’s _exactly_ what I needed from you right now. Because, you know, support would have been way too much to ask for, right?”

            “If you want my full support,” he said, “then go get the go ahead from his mother. He may have been your past lover, but he has no memories from that time. He’s just a fifteen-year-old boy, Eren. I know he feels strongly for you, that much is evident, but he’s also feeling conflicted. He can’t understand what’s going on, and I think you better decide soon whether you want to tell him the truth or not.”

            I needed to sit down. Better yet, I needed to get away from Armin, because I knew he had a point. But did he really have to throw this in my face an hour before I was going to go on my first date with Levi?

            “Eren—”

            “You’ve said enough,” I cut him off. “Trust me.”

            “Don’t hate me for this. I said what I needed to say. I just feel that he should be in the know if you two are going to take your relationship a step further.”

            “Yeah, well, you made that abundantly clear.” It’s not like I had plans to do anything like _that_ with Levi tonight. The other day had been…fuck, I don’t know what that was—a lapse of judgment on my part. But why didn’t it feel wrong? I didn’t feel guilty about what had happened between us. Because to feel guilty meant to feel regret, and I regretted nothing about what happened that day.

            If he were over eighteen, what we had done wouldn’t have been looked at as wrong. Armin was right: it was all about age. And even if I went to go talk to his mom, that didn’t make it any less illegal. How could I even talk to his mom about something like this, anyway? She wouldn’t understand. The only people who understood were the ones who had witnessed our past relationship.

            Even then, I knew it was something I was going to have to do sooner or later. It wasn’t right to keep our relationship a secret like this. His mom had every right to know. The last thing I wanted was for her to hate me, because she could literally take Levi away from me.

            “Shit,” I said, dropping my head in my hands. “This fucking blows, Armin. I don’t want to lose him. I _can’t_ lose him.” Not after I just got him back into my life.

            Armin put his hand on my shoulder. “Then go about this the right way, and your chances of losing him will lessen a great deal.”

            “But there will always be a chance. For two more years, that’ll be over my head.”

            “Unfortunately, yes. Hey.” He placed his other hand on my shoulder, giving me a hard shake. “You’ve always been willing to fight for him.” He gave my head a few soft knocks with his fist. “And I know you’re still hardheaded enough to do it all over again in this life, as well.”

            “You’re damn right,” I muttered. “He’s worth it.”

            “He better be, because I swear I’ve outdone myself with this meal.”

            I rolled my eyes, grateful that he was lightening up the mood. “Don’t go tooting your own horn now.”

            “Tell me that after you try my chicken.”

            After that, we packed the food up into Tupperware containers, and then put everything into a wicker basket. Due to Levi’s underage status, Armin slid in a bottle of grape soda, followed by plastic cups. Otherwise he would have preferred for us to drink red wine with the meal he prepared, because according to him, that would've gone great with the Chicken Diablo.

            When he thought I wasn't looking, he slipped in a couple pieces of Dove chocolate. I ignored that, busying myself with grabbing a picnic blanket. It was like the picnic blanket you see in all the movies: red and white checkered. Armin had a thing for things like that.

            Once everything was in my car, I slid into the driver’s seat, pulling my door shut. I turned on the car to roll down the window in time for Armin to stick his head in. He glanced from side to side before holding out his hand. Confused, I lifted my hand up for him to give me whatever it was he had.

            I felt something square against my palm. I knew what it was before I looked down at the single condom. “What the actual hell, Armin?”

            “You never listen to me,” was his explanation. “I’d rather you have protected sex, then unprotected sex. Knowing you, you could get carried away.” I didn’t even know what to say to that, but I was going to point out that he forgot one important thing when he added, “There’s a bottle of lube in the basket. Bet you didn’t see me slip _that_ in.”

            “I really hate you right now. First you give me a pep talk about keeping my distance, and now you’re giving me a condom and lube? Do you even understand the mixed signals you are giving me?”

            “Like I said: I’d rather you have protected sex. It’s not like I’m _suggesting_ you do anything.”

            “No, of course you’re not,” I said. I leaned over to toss the condom in the glove compartment. “I’m going before my head bursts from confusion.”

            He sighed. “Don’t be exaggerated.”

            “Bye, Armin. I hope you find someone else to torture while I’m out.” I gave him a wave of my hand as I pulled out of my parking space. He was really trying to kill me, wasn’t he? Who went and did something like that?

            I tried to push what had just happened out of my head as I drove to Levi’s house. If I kept thinking about it, the more confused I’d get. I would never understand what Armin’s intentions were behind slipping me a condom and lube. That just made the possibility of something happening more real. He had to know that. He basically provided us with what we needed to do what he had just told me _not_ to do.

            As I sped down the road, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I waited until I was at a stoplight to grab it and check the message I had received.

 

            **_Levi: So my mom just gave me the sex talk. Kill me now._**

 

            I laughed. His mom and Armin were on the same page, it seemed. Were we the only ones who weren’t even thinking about that? It hadn’t even crossed my mind. All I wanted from this night was to show Levi a nice time. Now they practically implanted the thought of sex in my head.

            Thank you very fucking much.

            I sent him a response before the light turned green.

 

            **_Me: Wow. Armin gave me the same talk. What is with them?_**

 

            I picked up speed the closer I got to his house. If we were going to make it out to the location Armin picked out before it got late, I was going to have to break some speed limits. Not that that changed my driving any. I was used to speeding. Sticking to a speed limit had never been my thing.

            When I pulled up to his house ten minutes later, I saw that he was already sitting on his porch swing with Hanji. She gave me a big smile when she caught my eyes through the windshield. Then Levi got to his feet, giving me a view of what he was wearing, which unfortunately was not the galaxy leggings he had shown me earlier. Instead he opted for a gray hoodie under a jean jacket, and black skinny jeans that were as tight on him as a second skin.

            Damn!

            My eyes followed him as he made his way down the driveway, and I could feel my heart picking up pace when he opened the passenger side door and slid into the seat.

            “Those aren’t any better than galaxy leggings,” I said, pointing to his jeans.

            “Oh?” He smirked, but when I leaned over the center console to kiss him, he practically shoved his hand in my face, eyes darting back to his house. “The parental is spying through the window.”

            I sat back in my seat, shifting to first gear. “That’s my cue to leave.” I knew that I was going to have to talk to his mom soon, but today was not that day.

            Once I put a good distance between his house and us, he unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned closer to me, kissing a trail down the side of my neck. I couldn’t push him away, due to both my hands being occupied with driving. Not that pushing him away was what I wanted to do, but he was proving to be a major distraction. I could hardly focus on the road ahead of me.

            “Hmm,” he hummed when I screeched to a stop at a red light I nearly blew. “I’m not even trying.”

            I chuckled, but the sound caught in my throat when he started to suck on my neck like it was his life mission. “Are you trying to leave as many marks on me as you can?”

            “You’re one to talk. I have a pretty nice hickey on my hip from you.” He tapped the tip of my nose with his index finger.

            “Well now I’m going to have to leave two more to catch up with you.”

            He grinned, leaning back in his seat. “Be my guest.” He looked over at the backseat, then back at me. “A picnic?”

            “Don’t sound so excited now. Might burst a vessel in your brain.”

            He glared at me. “For your information, I _am_ excited. Out of all the things I guessed, a picnic never once crossed my mind. That earns you two points.”

            “Oh, I’m raising the bar,” I said, all sarcastic.

            He ignored my comment. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going now?”

            “Nope. Not until we get there.”

            “Eren, come on.”

            I gave him a sidelong glance. “Sorry, no can do.” His eyes narrowed right before he laid his head on my lap. I swerved, almost stalling the engine before I regained control of the steering wheel. “Do you have a death wish?”

            Levi didn’t even look taken aback, nuzzling his face against my lower stomach. “I have ways to convince you to tell me where we’re going.”

            “Don’t even think of doing such ‘ways’. Unless you want to get in a car crash, that is.” Who knew he could be such a tease? My thoughts were heading in a direction that I could not handle while driving at fifty miles per hour. It didn’t help that I felt completely powerless against him, which proved Armin right yet again. When it came to Levi, my judgment wasn’t only a bit hazy—it was submerged in haziness. There was no clarity.

            My brain snapped to attention when I felt his fingers slip under the hem of my shirt, coasting over my abdomen. I didn’t even dare look down, afraid to meet his eyes as his hot tongue pressed against my hipbone. I leaned my head back against the headrest, swallowing hard. The things he could make me feel with just a simple flick of his tongue were unsettling. And when I say unsettling, I mean mind blowing.

            He lightly grazed his teeth against my skin, causing me to shiver. “Still won’t tell me?”

            I breathed out, heavy and loud. “We’re not even going to make it there if you keep this up.”

            His mouth moved over the waistband of my jeans. “I haven’t even done anything. Not really.”

            Someone must’ve been on my side, because I spotted the light a little ways in front of us turning yellow. I came to a complete stop, putting the car in neutral and yanking the emergency break up. When there was nothing else to stop me, I took his face in my hands and brought his lips up to mine, but he wasn’t having it—still intent on teasing me to reveal where we were headed.

            “Mm,” he moaned, nipping at my bottom lip. “People are staring.”

            I had no doubt about that. He had made himself comfortable on my lap. “I don’t care.”

            He glanced at the light over his shoulder. “Should be turning green soon.”

            I smirked, because I knew what he was doing. He had been taking advantage of the fact that I couldn’t do anything while my hands were occupied. Well, I wasn’t driving anymore, and whoever was behind me could go around, because I wasn’t about to let him get away with this unscathed.

            At least that’s what I thought before he decided that he was going to be as quick as a whip to get back in his seat. He grinned at me knowingly, pointing to the green light with a smug look on his face. With a grumble, I released the emergency break and put the car in first gear. Yeah, he was definitely going to get some payback for that little stunt he just pulled.

            For the rest of the drive, Levi kept his gaze directed toward the window, looking out. At one point, he rolled his window down, letting the cool breeze ruffle his dark hair. I tried to get my straying thoughts wrangled in—focusing on the night I had planned for us. For the meantime, it worked.

            When I pulled onto a narrow dirt road, Levi finally turned back toward me. “You’re not planning to kill me out in the middle of nowhere, are you?” he asked in a teasing voice.

            “Don’t tell me you saw the rope and shovel I hid in the back…?” I feigned a worried expression, but it was quickly replaced with an eye roll and a smile. “No, there’s a place out here called The Valley of Dead Trees. That doesn’t sound good, I know, but according to Armin, it harbors a lot of natural wonders.” He just stared at me. “Don’t judge it until we get there, okay?”

            Armin had practically drooled over this place. The way he explained it, it was a place to come to gawk at Mother Nature in all her natural beauty. Then again, Armin thought rainfall was something to behold. At this point, all I could hope for was that it wasn’t just a lining of dead trees and nothing more.

            As we went deeper into the desert-like landscape, the creepier the place was beginning to look. I was contemplating turning around when I spotted the lining of trees in the near distance. They were bent inward toward one another, creating an arch. Armin had told me that there was a small pond at the end of it, which is where I was supposed to be heading. That meant I had to go through the archway of trees that looked like it came straight out of a horror movie.

            “I feel like an ax murderer is going to pop out at any second,” Levi said, shutting his window. He moved toward me, reaching a hand out to place on my leg.

            “I know. Armin said it was beautiful, not creepy as hell.”

            I drove down the dirt pathway, dropping down to thirty-five miles per hour. The only light was coming from the headlights. Not even the moonlight was able to filter through the dense branches of the trees overhead. How in the world did Armin think this was going to be a romantic setting? Or was this his plan? To make this as un-romantic as possible? If I had service, which I doubted I did, I’d call him and give him a piece of my mind.

            When the pond finally came into view, I stopped the car, turning to Levi. “Do you want to turn around?”

            “No, look.” He pointed up ahead, and I followed his gaze. The trees cleared right before the pond, which was bathed in pale moonlight. The water reflected the round orb, giving it a surreal look.

            Armin came through for me, after all.

            I drove forward until I reached the edge of the trees, then I shut off the car and stepped out into the night breeze. Ducking back inside, I grabbed my red jacket, putting it on in a hurry. When it was zipped up, I gathered all the things from the backseat, kicking the backdoor shut with my foot.

            “Let me help,” Levi said, meeting me in front of the car. I handed him the blanket and nothing else. He gave me a look, but didn’t argue, walking over to the small patch of grass in front of the pond. It seemed to be the only thing green out here.

            We set up the picnic blanket, sitting down on top of it once it was stretched out. I moved the wicker basket onto my lap, pulling out the contents within. I ignored the small bottle of lube, keeping my mind occupied with setting down the Tupperware beside me. When everything was out, I noticed there was a spray bottle tucked into the corner. On it was a yellow sticky note.

            Reaching into my pocket, I grabbed my cell phone, using the light from the screen to read the note.

 

            _Spray this around the pond. I’d do it after you’re done with dinner, but trust me on this, it will blow your mind away._

_-Armin_

I had no clue what he was talking about, but seeing as the location he picked turned out to be rather amazing, I was going to trust him on this. I put the basket to the other side of me, noticing that Levi was already opening up a Tupperware container. He lifted it up to his face, smelling the food inside.

            “Smells good,” he said, reaching for a plastic fork. “Did you make it?”

            I stared at him, unblinking. “Really think about the question you just asked me.”

            He smiled. “It was Armin, wasn’t it?”

            “Yeah. I suck at cooking. I mean, I burned my mom's kitchen down trying to make brownies. It's that bad.”

            “I’m actually a pretty good cook,” he said, scooping up some of the food onto his fork. “Maybe I’ll cook for you one of these days.” He brought the utensil up to his mouth, and I watched him intently as he took the first bite. He chewed slowly, letting out a small hum of appreciation. “This is really good. Maybe I should be dating Armin.” He bit down on his bottom lip, grinning at me in a way that made my stomach flipflop.

            “I’m offended," I joked. "But let me tell you this now: Armin is as straight as an arrow.” I opened up my own Tupperware, wasting no time in digging in. “Okay, but wow, I can see why you want to date him now.” The food was delicious. How Armin did it? I would never know.

            We ate in silence, watching the reflection of the moon on the pond’s rippling surface. Once we had our fill, I put everything back into the basket, noticing that beside the Dove chocolates were two mints. Armin didn’t miss a beat, did he?

            I handed one to Levi. “He thought of everything.”

            He tore open the wrapper, popping the mint into his mouth. “Boyfriend material.”          

            I stuffed my mint into my mouth before pushing him down onto the blanket. He looked up at me, his smile fading, changing my plans to kiss him. “What is it?”

            He reached up to press his hand to my chest, feeling my heartbeat. “Tell me you feel this too.”

            “Tell me what you’re feeling.”

            He moved his head to the side, looking at the pond. “It’s nothing. Forget I said anything.” I was going to press further, but to my surprise, he rolled out from under me, sitting up and bringing his knees to his chest.

            I didn’t know what to say, or if I should try to coax the information out of him. So instead I sat up straight and reached into the basket, pulling out the spray bottle. He peered up at me as I stood up, starting to spray whatever it was that was in the bottle. I walked around the pond, distracting myself with the task.

            “Eren,” Levi said in awe after a few minutes, getting to his feet. “Look.”

            It looked liked hundreds of fireflies had flocked over to the pond, their yellow light illuminating the water, revealing the bright colored koi fish that swam silently beneath the surface. It was almost unbelievable, like something out of a picture book.

            I walked back over to Levi, chucking the bottle in the direction of the blanket. I wrapped my arms around his waist, bending forward to whisper in his ear, “I feel it, too.”

            He looked up at me. “You don’t even know how I feel, Eren.”

            “Then tell me.”

            He pushed me away, turning his back to me. “No. I can’t just _say_ it. It’s too soon, and I…” He looked over at me. “When I look at you, I feel like I know you. Like a part of me was with you long before we met, and there are moments when I look at you and it feels like I'm seeing someone else. I can’t explain it. It’s almost like I'm seeing a younger you, but whenever I try to grasp onto what it means, it slips away.” He ran his hands down his face. “I’m not making any sense, am I? I feel like I’m losing my mind.”

            I stepped up to him, taking his hands in mine. “You’re not.”

            “Then explain this to me. Tell me I’m not just imagining all this.” He looked up at me with a pained expression and I knew that I couldn’t withhold the truth from him any longer.

            I leaned into him, pressing my forehead against his. I shut my eyes, trying to think of a way to start this, but the only words that left my mouth were, “I love you. I’ve always loved you.” It was the same thing I had said to him when I confessed my feelings to him in our past life.

            Levi stepped back, eyes wide. He clapped his hands over his mouth. I didn't know what type of response I was expecting, but that definitely was not one of them.

            “Levi,” I said in a quiet voice, feeling like I was going to scare him away if I spoke too loud.

            “I-I’m the corporal from your story,” he whispered, right before he collapsed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup. Yes. Next chapter is going to be dramatic, let me say. Also, I'm bringing back Hanji and Isabel, because I need those two in my fic, all right? 
> 
> I'm pretty sure next chapter is going to be a long one, because I have A LOT to explain when it comes to Levi. Also, there's going to be another surprise at the end, so I guess what I'm trying to say is: prepare yourself. 
> 
> P.S. (there's always a P.S., isn't there?) Those galaxy leggings will be making another appearance in a future chapter, okay? I have it all planned, and believe me, Levi is going to use them to his advantage. ;)
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and leaving kudos! :) Any thoughts about this chapter are welcome. 
> 
> Oh, btw, if any of you would like to draw fan art for this fic, feel free to. Seriously, it would make my entire month. Whispers, "If you're an artist, do it." :D
> 
> If you read the first draft of this, OMG, I'm so sorry. There were so many mistakes. xD And that's what happens when your internet goes out right after you post a new chapter. :(


	14. Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I managed to finish a chapter within a couple of days. I'm on a roll! Can I get a, "Boo ya!" 
> 
> Anyhoo, thank you all so much for the continuous support you've been showing me. Honestly, it makes me feel so happy to know there are people anxiously awaiting the next chapter. It literally makes me become a writing whiz who can write chapters like that *snaps fingers*. It's surprises the hell out of me! I was struggling with writer's block before I started this fic, and now, it feels like writing has become second nature to me, which makes me extremely happy. You guys have no idea how much I appreciate you. 
> 
> Before I turn into a sobbing sap (going Eren on you guys xD), go on and read.

Two days had passed since Levi had collapsed on our date. Two days since we’d last spoken, because he wasn’t returning any of my calls. I would have been able to deal with that, if it weren’t for the fact that he was also avoiding Hanji. There was no one in contact with him, and I couldn’t get the knot that had formed in my stomach to unwind.

            For what felt like the fiftieth time that day, I picked up my cell phone and dialed his number. I listened to the other end ring, my free hand clenching by my side when it went to his voicemail after only two rings. He was ignoring my calls. What was I supposed to do now? I couldn’t sit back and pretend that everything was all right. Everything was _not_ all right. I needed to know how he was doing, or I was going to end up driving over to his house to find out for myself.

            I groaned, tossing my phone onto my bed, nearly hitting Mikasa on the head. She looked back at me, sighing. “Don’t start,” I warned. I couldn’t handle her mother act right now. The last thing I wanted to do was go about my day like nothing was wrong.

            There was no explanation for how I was feeling. I felt physically ill, like someone had just punched a hole through my stomach. The worst thing was the mixture of wanting to scream until my lungs gave out, and curling up in a ball while I cried my eyes out. Yet I couldn’t do any of those things. The only thing I seemed capable of was pacing and chewing my fingernails to dull nubs.

            Levi hated me. He had to. He had remembered something, and now he felt betrayed.

            Fuck! I knew this was going to happen. I _knew_ the lies were going to come back to bite me in the ass. It’s not like I could do anything about it now. The damage was already done, and it hurt like hell to think that it could be months until he remembered enough to want to speak to me again.

            I stopped mid-stride, tossing myself onto the bed. I buried my face in my arms, wanting nothing more than to hear Levi’s voice. Was he okay? What was going through his head at this moment? He hadn’t even said anything to me on the drive back to his house after he fainted. Didn’t even say good-bye when we reached his house, just slipped out of the car and disappeared behind the front door.

            “Eren,” Mikasa said, petting my head. “If I tell you something, do you promise not to be angry with me?”

            I turned my head to the side, eyeing her. “Spill it.”

            She sighed, crossing her legs. “Levi hasn’t been alone for these past couple of days. Isabel has been with him.”

            “Why the hell didn’t you tell me this before? Give me Isabel’s number. I’m calling her right now.”

            “Here.” She handed me her phone. “She won’t pick up for you. Levi is pretty upset about all this. From what she’s told me, he’s not ready to talk to either you or Hanji.”

            “I figured that much,” I said, snatching the phone out of her hand. I scrolled down her contacts list, tapping Isabel’s number—it rung three times before she picked up.

            “Hey, Mikasa. What’s up?”

            I gripped the phone tight enough for my knuckles to go white. “Don’t hang up.”

            “Eren?" Her tone had gone cold. "Why are you calling me?” 

            “I just need to know how he is. That’s all I’m asking of you. Please, Isabel.”

            “How do you think he is?" she snapped. "He’s a mess, Eren. What were you hoping for? That he wasn’t going to feel hurt and confused by all this?”

            I let out a shaky breath. “You think this isn’t hard on me, too? I wanted to tell him. I just didn’t know how! I…” What could I say for her to see that I never meant for him to find out this way? Would she even bother to listen? “I never wanted it to end up like this. I never wanted to hurt him. He means everything to me.”

            “I can’t help you, Eren,” she said. “He needs time to think this over. You have to understand that.”

            “I do understand that. The only reason I called was to find out if he was okay.”

            In the background, I suddenly heard Levi’s voice, though I couldn’t make out what he had said. My heart stopped while I listened for him to say something else, anything. I just wanted to hear his voice again.

            “Who are you talking to?” he asked. He sounded like he was standing right next to Isabel now.

            “Mikasa.”

            “Oh,” he said. “Is…she with Eren? You know what, just let me talk to her.” I heard Isabel protest, then static as Levi took the phone from her. “Mikasa?”

            Shit. Shit. Shit. Would he hang up if I said something? Well, there was only one way to find out.

            “I miss you.” If there was one thing he was going to hear before he hung up on me, it was going to be that.

            He inhaled sharply. “Eren?”

            “I’m sorry,” I blurted out. “I know that’s not enough, and I’m not expecting you to forgive me, but I want you to know that I never wanted to keep this from you. I was just trying to figure out the best way to tell you, because I didn’t want to scare you away. The last thing I wanted was for you to walk out of my life. I—”

            “Eren, shut up.” I didn’t say anything more, waiting for him to continue, or hang up on me. “Did you mean what you said?”

            “Just now?”

            He breathed out, exasperated. “No. The thing you said right before I fainted. Did you mean it?”

            “That I love you? Yes, I meant it. I love you, Levi. I love you so much…”

            I was met with silence, which stretched on long enough for me to think I had stuck my own foot in my mouth. What if he wasn’t ready to hear what I had just said? Dammit! What if I just made everything worse?

            After what felt like an eternity to me, Levi said, “Meet me tonight. Bring Hanji, too, because she hasn’t stopped pestering me. There are things we have to talk about—all three of us.”

            “Okay.” My voice sounded small with both relief and fear. After tonight, things could go both ways between us. “Where do you want to meet up?”

            “Our hangout. Hanji will know what I’m talking about. Be there by six. Oh, and Eren?”

            “Yeah?”

            “Don’t lie to me.” He hung up right after that, leaving me with a sickly feeling in the pit of my gut. I sank down against the bed, throwing my arm over my face.

            “What did he say?” Mikasa said, moving closer to me. She took her phone from out of my hand before tugging my arm away from my face.

            “He wants to meet up tonight at six. Wants me to bring Hanji along, too.”

            She lay down next to me. “That’s a good start, isn’t it?”

            “He’s willing to talk to me, so yeah, I guess.” Just because it was a start, didn’t mean it was going to end well. Levi hadn’t sounded happy with me on the phone, and I couldn’t blame him for that. I knew this was a lot to come to terms with, and there was no determining how much he remembered about us, or if he remembered anything significant about our relationship at all. Before we were together, I had been his subordinate, a reckless, spur of the moment, titan-shifting teen.

            I needed help from above, or something, because just the thought of him only remembering me as an angst-y teen made me want to chuck myself out the nearest window. There had to be other memories. At least I hoped there were, because even though Levi cared about me at the beginning, he didn’t grow to have romantic feelings for me until I was almost sixteen.

            “You’re overthinking it,” Mikasa said, bringing my attention to her.

            “How can I not overthink this? There are so many things that can go wrong.”

            “Are you forgetting what the two of you already have? You’re his first love.”

            “What if our past relationship is clouding his judgment? Is there really any choice here? Since I remembered him, I’ve wanted no one else. Hell, even before that, every guy I was with felt…wrong, like something was missing.”

            She smacked me on the forehead hard enough to make me glare at her. “That’s bullshit and you know it. You love him. Tell me, do you feel robbed of anything? Would you prefer to be with someone else? You have that choice. There’s no obligation for you to be with him in this life. If you wanted, the two of you could go your separate ways.”

            “I only want him,” I said. “And none of this feels like an obligation to me. I _want_ to be with him.”

            “Exactly. So don’t turn around and make it seem like he’s being forced to be with you. He’s not. If he wants out of this relationship, then he has every right to walk away. Right?”

            As much as I hated to say it, she was right. I would never make Levi be with me, if he wanted to go down a different path. So, reluctantly, I agreed. “Right.”

            She nodded once. “Good. Now get up and get dressed. It’ll be six in an hour, and you still have to pick up Hanji.”

            “You’re not going to go with us?”

            “I think it’s best if I didn’t,” she said. “You know how I tend to speak out for you sometimes, and I wouldn’t want to say anything that could hurt your chances with him. Plus, this is between you and him.”

            “Yeah, I know.”

            We got out of bed and I exchanged my pajamas for a black T-shirt and jeans. It wasn’t too cold out, so I just tied a red and black plaid button up around my waist for later use.

            After I saw Mikasa off, I got into my car and drove straight to Hanji’s house. Halfway there, I realized that I hadn’t called her to tell her about the meet up, so I grabbed my phone and speed dialed her before putting it on speakerphone.

            “Hey,” she answered within the first ring, sounding glum.

            “So I’m on my way to your house right now to pick you up. I know it’s short notice, but Levi just called me an hour ago. He wants us to meet him at your hangout, which I have no idea where that is.”

            “He talked to you?!”

            I could hear her moving around on the other end, probably pulling on some shoes. “It was by accident, but I guess in the end it doesn’t matter, because he wants to talk to the both of us.”

            “He better listen to what I have to say,” she shouted into the receiver. “He’s been ignoring me, and I’m fed up with it. We’re best friends. He should at least give me the time of day to explain this all to him.”

            “Well, let’s hope he listens to the both of us. I’m about ten minutes from your house.”

            “I’m ready. I’ll be waiting for you out front.” She hung up, and I tucked my phone back into my pocket.

            When I pulled up to her house, she didn’t even give me time to come to a complete stop. She yanked the passenger side door open and hopped inside. I eyed her, but she just shrugged in response. Then I noticed the puffy bags under her eyes, and the telltale red in them that told me she had been crying.

            “Are you okay?” I asked.

            She shook her head slowly. “Levi and I haven’t gone a day without seeing each other since we’ve become friends in this life. Even when he was mad at me before, we’d get over it within hours. Now he won’t even talk to me, and”—she sighed, peering out the window—“it really hurts.”

            I reached over and took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I know, and I'm really sorry.”

            “Don’t be. It’s not your fault. And I know damn well that you’ve been hurting, too.” She ran her index finger beneath my right eye. “Haven’t slept good, have you?”

            “Not really,” I confessed.

            “That’s what I thought. Now, come on. Let’s go get our short baby back.”

            I drove out of her street onto the main road. Hanji started directing me when I neared the intersection, since I didn’t know where I was going. Turns out their hangout was an IHOP right off the US 60. There weren’t a lot of people there, considering it was a Sunday night, which made spotting Levi all the easier.

            Before I pulled into a parking spot, I saw him through a side window, sitting next to Isabel at a booth near the front entrance. He was facing her as I turned into the empty space, but his head quickly snapped in my direction when I hit the curb, causing my headlights to reflect off the window, and the engine to die as it stalled.

            “Oh, wow!” Hanji barked, laughing and slapping her knee several times. “Way to get his attention, Eren!”

            “It was an accident,” I hissed, shutting off the car. I refused to look up to see what kind of expression Levi wore. It was embarrassing enough that I had literally crashed into the curb, because I had been too caught up with looking at him. “Just get out of the car already.”        

            She was still giggling as she opened the door, stepping out onto the asphalt. I followed after her, keeping my eyes trained in front of me. When we walked into the entryway, I was greeted by none other then Erwin. He was all smiles until he looked up and saw me, eyes narrowing into slits.

            “Lighten up,” Hanji said to him, rolling her eyes. “We’re here to meet up with Levi, so just hand us a menu and we’ll show ourselves to our table.” She held her hand out expectantly.

            “It’s my _job_ to see you to a table, Hanj," he said. "So, right this way.” He moved in front of us, walking forward. We followed him down the aisle, and the closer we got to Levi’s table, the harder my heart pounded. It felt like I was going to break out in a sweat.

            When we were finally standing in front of the table, I kept my eyes pinned to my feet. Hanji slid into the booth seat opposite him and Isabel, and I was quick to follow. The instant I was seated, Erwin thrust a menu in my face, clipping the tip of my nose with the edge. I glanced up at him, meeting those blue eyes that held nothing of the man he once was.

            I wasn’t going to say anything. After all, I was the adult, and I wasn’t about to stoop to his level. So it surprised me when Levi suddenly spoke up for me.

            “Hey, cool it the fuck down.”

            Erwin’s eyes darted in his direction. “Are you kidding me right now?”

            “Does it look like I’m kidding?” Levi shot back.

            “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was the dick who had you all depressed for the last two days. I thought I was the guy who consoled you and stayed up on the phone with you until four o’clock in the morning.”

            At that, my gut clenched in such a way that made me hunch over. So, it wasn’t only Isabel who had been by his side. Erwin was there, too. Was it because Levi finally remembered who Erwin really was?

            “Just take our order,” Levi said, shoving the menu at him. “I’ll have the usual.”

            “Same here.” Hanji handed hers back, nudging me with her elbow.

            I held out my menu. “I’m good.”

            Hanji turned toward me. “Are you sure? Come on. Get something.”

            I shook my head. “No, really, I’m fine.”

            Isabel smacked her menu down onto the table loud enough to cause several people around us to look in our direction. “Well, I’m famished! So I will have the Country Fried Steak, and an iced tea.” She smiled wide.

            Erwin took the menu she held out to him. “I’ll be back with your orders.” He left without another word, leaving us in complete silence. Even with the chatter coming from other tables, none of us spoke.

            I was trying to think of something to say when Levi suddenly leaned over the table, napkin in hand. He brushed at my nose with it. “That asshole,” he muttered. “He left a cut.”

            I looked up at him, making eye contact. His movements faltered. “I’m okay. Really, it doesn’t even hurt.”

            He swallowed, moving back in his seat. “Whatever then.”

            Isabel rolled her eyes. “Can we get on with this, big bro?”

            “Yeah, let’s get on with this,” Hanji jumped in. “Let's start off with how much you remember so far?”

            Levi crossed his arms over his chest, looking out the window as he spoke in a clipped tone that reminded me of his corporal days. “Not much. I mostly remember the underground shit fest that I lived in for most of my youth. I also remember Isabel as a kid. It starts to get hazy during my teen years.” He sighed. “None of it really makes any sense. There are a lot of bits and pieces missing.”

            “It’ll be that way for a while,” Hanji told him. “The more time passes, the more you’ll remember.”

            He looked over at her. “Still doesn’t tell me why neither of you bothered to tell me anything about all of this.”

            “That’s kind of a hard subject to broach,” I said. “Did you remember anything about me the other night when you fainted?”

            Picking up a toothpick, he began to twist it around in his fingers. “I can’t say for sure. Everything started to fade once I came to. The only thing I can really grasp onto is an image of you standing in front of me.” He shut his eyes, conjuring up said image. “You’re crying, and you’re wearing this long sleeve green shirt and”—his face scrunched up in concentration—“a pair of white pants. You have all these straps connected to you and you look…so young.” His eyes opened, landing on me.

            “Sounds about right,” I said, trying to hide any emotion from my voice. “That’s when I confessed to you that I loved you. It didn’t go as planned. In fact, it took you a solid six months to even speak to me in a different manner than a corporal to his subordinate.”

            “So we were together back then?” He didn’t wait for me to reply. “Of course we were. That’s why I feel this way toward you. That’s why I felt this way toward you since the moment I saw you. That explains a lot.” He clenched his teeth together, leaning back in his seat.

            That was not an expression that I wanted to see. Especially when he followed it up by glaring daggers at me. Shit. There had to be something that I could say to him, but for the life of me, I couldn’t think of anything. My heart felt like it was breaking into a million little pieces, and a part of me—the past me—wanted to yell at him that this wasn’t any easier on me.

            What he was going through, I had already gone through. I spent years thinking I was crazy—years that I would never be able to get back. It took finding Armin for me to understand that my supposed hallucinations were in fact past memories. Before then, I had always felt on the verge of breaking down and screaming for someone to fucking help me.

            Even after discovering that the nightmares that had consumed my adolescence were memories, I still felt this gaping hole in my chest—a hole that was widened when I finally remembered him. Images of his face had haunted my thoughts; memories of the passionate kisses we had shared tormented me, because for the longest time, I never dreamed of finding him.

            Now, here he was, right in front of me. And I’d be damned to hell if I was going to let him get away. Maybe Mikasa was right. Maybe I had a choice in this life not to be with him, but my choice would always be him, because I loved him more than I could ever possibly explain to her, or to anyone else.

            “We _were_ together back then,” I said, clenching my fists, bringing his gaze back to me. “And you were the best part of my life. Because even in a world going to complete shit, you managed to give me hope every single day—hope that we’d survive every time we stepped foot outside those damn walls, because I wanted nothing more than to be with you for the rest of my life. Every time I looked at you, I knew I would keep fighting until my dying breath, because even when the world was against us, so long as I had you, there was something to fight for.” I slid out of my seat, desperately needing to get away.

            I walked out of the restaurant and kept going until I was in front of my car. I placed my hands on the hood, leaning forward. My entire body was shaking, and I didn’t know how I was going to handle any of this. There was so much against us. Even in a world where titans no longer existed, there were substantial things in our way that we could no longer ignore.

            Why had I remembered a life that was filled with agony and torment? Was there a point to any of this madness?

            “Eren!” Levi called out as he burst through the front door, spotting me by my car. He ran over to where I stood, and I squeezed my eyes shut, letting my head fall forward. “E-Eren…?”

            “Don’t say anything,” I said. “I get why you’re angry. I really do. I’ll give you all the space you need. Shit, maybe space is what I need, too.”

            “Eren, wait, listen to me—”

            I looked over at him. “I know you realize how fucked up this all is. I’ve been through what you’re going through, and I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that I triggered your memories. I’m sorry that I didn’t have the willpower to stay away from you. It would have been better for you that way, but I’m a selfish bastard.”

            “Shut up for a minute. Let me say what I came out here to say.”

            “You don’t even remember us. I understand why you’re doubting—”

            He slammed his hands down on my shoulders, looking me square in the face. “I don’t need to remember to know that I love you, you ass! I love you, so shut up already!” He wrapped his arms around my neck, burying his face against my chest. It was only when he started to shake against me, that I realized he was crying.

            “No, don’t cry,” I whispered, running my fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry.” I held him close to me, cradling his head in my hand.

            We stood there that way for a long time until someone from behind us said, “Levi? Is that you?”

            Levi pulled away from me, eyes widening. “Shit,” he whispered, wiping at his eyes with his sleeves. “What are you doing here, Mom?”

            _Mom?!_

            I turned around to look at his mom and my mouth dropped open.

            No. It couldn’t be. It had to be a mistake. That couldn’t be his mom. His mom couldn’t really be…

            “Petra,” I said.

           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another cliffhanger. I'm sorry! They just happen, and the timing is perfect, because I'm nearing the end of the chapter anyway, so I can't help myself. UGH!
> 
> Did any of you guys guess that Petra was his mom? And before you ask, there is a reason why Hanji didn't mention to Eren who Levi's mother was. Of course, I will be explaining that later on in a future chapter. There are reasons behind it. I'm so full of mysteries, and I don't know if that annoys you guys, or just makes you all the more anxious. To be honest, I really like keeping my fic a bit on the mysterious side, because that lures you guys in to read another chapter. I'm sneaky like that, okay? 
> 
> Another little tidbit: I didn't spell Hanji wrong when Erwin called her Hanj. It's a nickname. Thought I'd mention that, just in case you didn't catch on. :)
> 
> Without further ado, thank you so much for the comments, the kudos, and the support, and just everything! I love you all. ❤


	15. Worthy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update time has come! So this chapter was, I'm just going to say it: a bitch to write. I wrote this chapter at least 3 times, and all 3 times I was not satisfied with the outcome. Petra was coming off in a weird way, and that's not how I wanted her to be portrayed. I really liked her in the manga, and I wanted to show her in a gentle nature, soooo yeah, that led to me rewriting the chapter a fourth time. 
> 
> Dear LORD! 
> 
> Well then! Go on and read, my lovelies! <3

Petra smiled softly as her amber eyes fell on me. A hundred images of her face from our previous life went flashing through my mind, and as she lifted her hand to offer it to me, I noticed a birthmark on her right thumb that looked like teeth marks. I swallowed down a sob, shaking her hand.

            I had put my trust in my comrades. I believed in their abilities, but like Levi had told me back then, no one could predict how things would turn out. In the end, I had watched them—Petra, Eld, Gunther, and Auruo—die right before me at the hands of the female titan. Even when I had shifted, and fought with every ounce of willpower I possessed, I still couldn’t avenge their deaths.

            Looking up at her now, at the subtle lines of wrinkles forming around her eyes, I couldn’t help but to feel grateful for having been able to see her at this age. In this life, she had grown to become a woman.

            I held back tears that were threatening to spill over. “It’s nice to meet you,” I said, voice wobbly. If she didn’t have her memories, what would she think of me? Would she approve of me to be with her only son?

         Petra returned my sentiments before placing her hand on Levi's shoulder, bringing his attention back to her. “You left the house without telling me where you were going. I called Hanji, and she let me know that you were here.” Her eyes flicked over to me. “After how you’ve been acting the last two days, I thought it was best that I finally had a talk with Eren.”

            It would’ve been funny how wide his eyes went at that, if it weren’t for the fact that my stomach plummeted as a response to her words.

            “Mom,” he began, “Do you really have to do it _right now_? We’re at an IHOP. That isn’t exactly a good setting for this type of conversation.”

            She ruffled his hair. “Stop trying to come up with excuses. Eren and I will grab a booth and talk things over. How about you go back inside with Hanji and Isabel?”

            He turned to me, looking panicked. I put my hands on his shoulders, giving them a squeeze to comfort him. “It’s okay,” I said. “Your mom is right. We do have things to talk about.”

            He opened his mouth to say something, thought better of it, and just gave Petra a pleading look before turning on his heel and disappearing inside.

            When he was no longer in sight, I turned around to face her, surprised to see a gentle expression on her face. She looked up at me with tender eyes, moving her hand up to cup my cheek. She smiled softly, breathing in.

            “You’ve grown quite a bit since I last saw you,” she said. “It’s good to see you again, Eren.”

            My heart clenched inside my chest. “You remember,” I whispered. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was, but if she were like the rest of us, she wouldn’t remember her death. It was better that way. Maybe those memories didn’t come back for a reason.

            She gave a small jerk of her chin in the direction of the front entrance of the restaurant. “Let’s go inside.”

            I followed behind her, moving forward to pull the door open for her to step inside. Erwin’s head darted up at the sound of the bell, eyes settling on Petra. He looked smug as he straightened himself up, putting on his biggest smile.

            “Hi, Ms. Ral,” he said in a booming voice. “Would you like the usual?”

            She shook her head. “Not today, Joe. Thank you. I think a coffee will do for now.”

            “Sure thing. Let me show you to a booth.” He was quick to direct us to our seats, picking out an empty booth that would put us in Levi’s line of sight—too far to hear what we had to say, but close enough to read our expressions.

            That bastard. What was he up to?

            I sat opposite Petra, never letting my eyes drop from Erwin’s face. He didn’t like me. That much was obvious. I could deal with that, but if he was trying to intervene in my relationship with Levi, he was going to have to deal with a whole other side of me. I wasn’t going to let him, or anyone else, get in my way. I would fight for Levi until my dying breath—just like I had done in our previous life.

            “I’ll be right back with your coffee,” Erwin said, giving her one last smile before walking away. There were a few choice words I wanted to throw in his general direction, but I knew that he wasn’t worth the scene that would cause. I had to remind myself that he didn’t have Levi. I did. And I sure as hell was planning to keep it that way for as long as possible.

            When he was out of earshot, Petra turned her full attention on me, lacing her fingers in front of her on the table. “Hanji told me you’ve grown up to become a handsome man, but I never imagined you looking the way you do now. I still remember the boy you used to be. You filled out quite nicely. I can see why Levi is so taken with you.”       

            Maybe it was the fact that she was older than me, or she remembered who I once was, but I was blushing like a schoolgirl. I reached up to scratch at the back of my head, embarrassed. “Thanks. Uh, Hanji didn’t tell me anything about you. Doesn’t really make any sense, if you both have your memories.”

            “I asked her not to.”

            My hand dropped to my side as confusion made me furrow my brows. “Why? I don’t understand.”

            “She told me all about yours and Levi’s past relationship. If you know Hanji as well as I do, then you can be sure how thorough she was.” I grimaced. God, Hanji, why? “Though there were many parts that I could’ve gone the rest of my life not hearing, there were also important details about how Levi felt about you. That’s why I wanted her to keep who I was a secret from you. I wanted to see if Levi would feel the same way about you in this life. He loved you very much back then, didn’t he?”

            “Yeah,” I said. “It was strange how our feelings for one another developed, but”—I glanced over to where he sat, making eye contact with him—“every risk I took to be with him was worth it.” I turned back to her. “Still is.”

            She sighed. “You know, as a mother, I was a little overwhelmed when Hanji told me how old you are. I didn’t know if I was going to be able to come to terms with the age gap between you and him. But he was so happy after meeting you. I’ve never seen him so happy before. I knew then that he was destined to be with you in this life, as well. From the moment he saw you, he’s been utterly in love with you. Even before then, he always felt like a part of himself was missing.” She looked up at me. “That part was you.”

            I would never be missing again. “I know the feeling.” I spent years trying to fill that part of me with pointless relationships that led to nowhere.

            “It’s still going to be hard for me, Eren. He’s my pride and joy, my baby. If you hurt him in any way, I won’t hesitate to put a stop to this relationship.” Her eyes landed on Levi, and she smiled sadly. “He meant a great deal to me in our other life. Many mistook it for puppy love, but it was nothing like that. For me, he was someone I trusted in completely. I put my life in his hands every time we went outside those walls. He was a great friend, and even better leader. Now he’s my son, and before I let you continue this relationship with him, there are things I need to know.”

            This was what it all came down to: her approval. Even having known me in our past life, that didn’t guarantee that she would find me good enough to be with her son. What if I wasn’t up to her standards? Would she really put an end to us?

            “Ask whatever you need to ask,” I said.

            Before she could continue, Erwin came walking back up to the table, plastic platter in hand. He grabbed the mug and saucer off of it, setting it down in front of Petra, along with several sugar packets. When he was through with that, he laid out a napkin beside the cup, placing a spoon onto it.

            “Need anything else?” he asked in a cheery voice.

            “No, that’s fine for now.” She smiled up at him. “Thank you.”

            “It’s no problem. Just give me a holler if you need anything else.” Once again, he left with a smile. 

            I watched as she tore open two sugar packets, pouring the contents into her coffee. She stirred it in, sighing in content as she cupped the mug in her hands. After she took a small sip, she said, “I was only seventeen when I had him. It was a very difficult pregnancy, and his father couldn't really handle it at our age. He was basically forced to marry me by his parent's, and as you may already know, he left two years after I had Levi.”

            I couldn’t, and didn’t want to imagine how hard that must’ve been on her. Raising a child on her own at such a young age couldn’t have been easy. But that’s exactly what she had done, and Levi had turned out perfect.

            Nothing to say came to mind. I knew what she had shared with me was something you didn’t just tell anyone. This was her way of explaining to me how much Levi meant to her.

            “It was a very hard time in my life,” Petra continued. “But if I had to do it all over again, I would. Being his mother comes first. I need you to understand that.”

            “I do. I'll respect any decision you come to.”

            She sighed. “I know there are going to be temptations, if I let you continue this relationship with him. Levi is a teenager with certain needs.” She worried at her bottom lip, keeping her gaze locked on her coffee. “I’d be lying if I said I was completely all right with what could happen between the two of you. I’ve thought about this for a long time now. After Hanji told me she had run into you at the movie theatres, I knew I was going to have to make a decision.”

            Here it was: the moment that would decide whether I could be with Levi or not. I had tried to postpone the inevitable, but it had finally caught up to me. There was no running away from this. I told Petra that I would respect any decision she came to, and that wasn’t a lie. But I would always love Levi, and if it took waiting for him until he was eighteen, then that's exactly what I would do. 

            I sat there and waited for her to declare what would become of us.

            “He’s been without you for the past two days,” she said. “I’ve never seen him that way before. Even though he was angry that you had kept something from him—he wouldn’t tell me what, but I knew thanks to Hanji—he still hated being away from you. In fact, it took Isabel hiding his phone for him not to respond to your texts or calls. To put it simply, he was a mess. He was more upset about not being with you, than what you had kept from him. With that being said, I never want to see him in that state again.”

            I straightened up in my seat, feeling hopeful. “So, what you’re saying is we’re allowed to continue in this relationship?”

            “Yes, that’s what I’m saying, but there are going to be rules, Eren. Rules that I expect you to follow.”     

            At this point, I was willing to do just about anything. “I’ll follow any set of rules you give me.”

            She took a sip of her coffee, watching me over the rim. When she set it down, she said, “I expect you to respect my son. I won’t have you forcing him into anything he’s not ready for. You will not do anything of any sexual nature with him until he’s one hundred percent ready for it. Have I made myself clear?”

            I swallowed hard, trying not to sputter. “Wait. Hold on. I don’t think I’m getting this right. You’re saying that I can actually do _stuff_  with him when he’s ready? I’m wrong, right? That’s not what you meant.” That couldn’t be what she meant. There had to be some hidden message beneath all that. Maybe this was some sort of test to see how I’d react if she gave me the go ahead.

            “Do you love him?” she asked. I nodded. Of course I loved him. “He loves you, Eren. More than I can even understand. Before you came into his life, he wanted nothing to do with relationships. I’m sure, even if I banned him from seeing you, he’d find a way to be with you. So, yes, that’s what I meant. If he’s ready, and you’re completely sure that he is, then you have my approval.”

            I was dreaming. This was a dream. Any minute now I would wake up and be in my bed. This couldn’t be happening right now. What she really meant to say was I should keep my lower region in my pants at all times. There was no way she was entrusting me with her son. Right?

            “Let me get this straight,” I began, but I was cut off by Petra’s laughter. I looked up at her in confusion.

            “You’re too much,” she said. “It’s actually pretty adorable how you’re so confused at what I just said. Eren, look at me.” I glanced up at her, relaxing when I saw her gentle expression. “I trust you. Levi adores you. Hanji gushes about you all the time. And from what I remember about you from our other life, you weren’t a bad kid. If Levi is going to be with anyone in that way, I would prefer it to be with you. After all, you wear your love for him on your sleeves, and that’s the winning factor in this equation for me.”

            I smiled so wide, that I felt my cheeks were on the verge of bursting. This was really happening. There would be no more sneaking around his mom. I had her approval, and I felt like I could go around the restaurant doing the samba dance. As a matter of fact, I leaned over the table to pull her into an awkward hug, nearly knocking over her coffee.

            “Thank you,” I said. “I promise I won’t betray the trust you’ve put in me today.”

            She laughed lightly, returning my hug. “I’m counting on that.” Her eyes moved to the side. “He’s on his way over here.” I sat back down in my seat, unable to tame the smile on my face.

            When Levi finally reached our table, he pointed to my face, sitting down next to Petra. “That’s a good sign, right?” He turned to look at her. “He wouldn’t be smiling if it was bad news. Mom?”

            She patted his shoulder. “It’s good news.”

            His only reaction to that was to throw his arms around her, pulling her into a grizzly bear hug. I even thought I heard him squeal a bit, but when he leaned back, he said, “No. Not a word.”

            I pretended to zip my lips together. “I won’t say anything about your girlish squeal.”

            “You ass.” He leaned forward to smack me on the back of the head. “I don’t know what you heard, but I sounded like a burly man.”

            I laughed. “My mistake. That high-pitched sound must’ve come from somewhere else.”

            Petra reached into her purse to pull out her cell phone. She glanced down at it. “I should be going, Levi. Your aunt is going to be coming over to the house in half an hour.”

            Levi scooted out of the booth to let her get out. When she was on her feet, he leaned over and whispered something in her ear. She smiled at whatever he had said, her eyes finding mine.

            “I trust you to behave yourself,” she told him when he stood up straight. “You hear me Levi Marshall Ral?”

            “You did not just go there, Mom.”

            She put her hands on her hips. “I expect an answer, young man.”

            He rolled his eyes. “I’ll behave myself.” When she wasn’t looking, he smirked at me. That little sneaky asshole. “Text me when you get home, okay? Make sure you drive safely, too. And tell Aunt Lin that I said hi, and no, she can’t have my favorite hoodie. I swear if it’s missing when I get home …”

            “It won’t be,” she said. “Make sure you have him back by eleven, Eren.”

            I straightened up at the sound of my name. “Will do.”

            After Levi walked his mom out to her car, we met back up with Hanji and Isabel, who had made their way over to the 99¢ store behind IHOP. When we found them lurking in the back, we saw that they had decided to play dress up with the left over Halloween accessories. Isabel was wearing a hot-pink wig, while Hanji was sporting huge star glasses and a gold Venetian mask.

            They were giggling and posing in front of a cheap plastic mirror, when they saw us. At the same time, they both reached their hands out to us, pulling us in.

            “Oh, hell no!” Levi said, trying to back up, but Isabel caught him by the arm, wrapping a fuzzy pink scarf around his neck. I was too busy laughing at that to notice Hanji slipping on a blonde mullet wig over my head.

            Once it was in place, they all stared at me, going silent. I mentally counted back from five, but they erupted into a fit of laughter after only two seconds.

            “Oh, my god!” Hanji squealed, at the same time Isabel said, “All you need is a Fu Manchu mustache, and the look will be complete!”

            I twirled a blonde strand around my finger, doing my best impression of how gay men were portrayed. “Like, oh my, god,” I said, putting my free hand on my hip, sticking it out. “I’ve always wanted to be a blonde.” I turned around, shaking my head to move the long strands. I looked at them over my shoulder. “How do I look, ladies?”

            Hanji was hunched over in laughter, hands on her knees. “Stop! I can’t handle this!”

            Isabel pointed a finger at me, giving Levi a sidelong glance. “You’re dating him.”

            “I am,” Levi said, and before I knew what he was doing, he snapped several pictures of me with his cell phone.

            “Delete them,” I demanded, reaching out to snatch his phone from him, but he sidestepped just in time, jerking his hand back. “Levi, I swear on my life…”

            He looked me dead in the eye. “Make me delete them.”

            “You’re going to regret saying that.” I lunged forward, but he was quick, darting out of the way with a crooked smile on his face. I ripped the wig off, tossing it to the side, glancing down at his feet to see their position. But when I moved toward him again, he moved in the opposite direction I thought he would.

            “Too slow,” he said.

            “Get him, Eren!” Hanji shouted, causing several people to look our way.

            “Nothing to see here, folks.” Isabel made a shooing motion, and most of them looked away, seeming uninterested at what was beginning to unfold between Levi and me.

            Levi took several steps back, keeping eye contact. “Come on, Eren. I’m right here.” His voice had dropped an octave, making him sound seductive and hot as hell. I was putty in his hands.  

            Suddenly Hanji took Isabel’s hand, steering her away from us. “Let’s go before they pop a boner.”

            We were left alone, no one near us. Levi didn’t even wait for me to make a move, stepping up to me and yanking me down by the neck to press our lips together. His tongue swept across my bottom lip, teasing, urging. My lips parted in response, and immediately I felt his tongue slide under mine.

            I put my hands on either side of his waist, pulling him against me. He moaned into my mouth, biting down on my bottom lip before he trailed kisses along my jawline. My whole body felt too hot, too tight. Every part of me wanted to claim him in the most basic way possible, but I had just received his mom’s approval today. To be swept away like this would only prove that I wasn’t worthy of her trust.

            “Hey,” I said, surprised that my voice didn’t betray my arousal. “We’re in the middle of a store.”

            “Mhm,” he hummed, sucking lightly on my collarbone, hands trailing up my sides.

            I tried to suppress a shiver, but it went down my spine anyway, and I knew Levi had felt it. “We’re going to get kicked out.” Was that really all I could come up with? It wasn’t even convincing.

            _Come on, Eren, think of something soon…_

            “Don’t care,” he whispered. “We have two days to make up for.”

            My thought process was becoming muddled, but I knew that I had a point to prove—not only to Petra, but to myself, too. I could handle this. I _had_ to handle this. I had to show that I could hold myself back. Levi and I hadn’t been going out that long, and even though he wanted me, that didn’t mean he was ready.

            I would wait until he was.

            “Come on, you nasties,” Hanji suddenly called from behind us. “Don’t go dry humping in the middle of a 99¢ store.”

            Levi pulled back, giving her a death glare. “Go away. We’re coming.” She rolled her eyes before she left again, and then his stare was directed at me. “Don’t think I’m letting you off the hook. We aren’t finished.” He took hold of my hand, dragging me out of the store.

            Fuck. This was going to be hard.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who thought Petra would feel awkward toward Levi if she had her memories, I urge you to read the manga (if you haven't already, that is). In the manga, she was shown in a different light. In the anime, it kind of seemed like her father was saying that she wanted to marry Levi, but that wasn't the case. In the manga, she wrote her father stating that she wanted to live up to Levi's expectations of her, and dedicate her life to her career. Her father also expressed how he was disappointed that she hadn't shown an interest in getting married. So, as you can see, it's a bit different than in the anime. 
> 
> What I'm trying to say is: There are no awkward feelings. She doesn't, in any way, have intimate feelings for her own son. I want to make that clear right now, ya know. 
> 
> P.S. (Again with the P.S.) Will those galaxy leggings be making an appearance in the next chapter, hmm? The answer is yes! (¬‿¬)
> 
> Once again, thank you all so much for the comments, the kudos, and the endless support. It makes me so happy to receive comments on here and on my Instagram. If you'd like to follow my Ereri/Riren Instagram account, my username is: @levi.eren_ 
> 
> I will be putting sneak peeks of future chapters on there, and also updating on anything that has to do with my writing. As of right now, I'm planning on writing a few Ereri/Riren one shots. So if you want to keep updated, you can on there. :)
> 
> Another thing: I've noticed some people commenting saying that they constantly check if I've updated on here, and I just want to let you know that you can subscribe to this fic, so that every time I do update, you'll receive an email. There's a subscribe button at the top of the page. :)


	16. Ready

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG it's 5 in the morning! AH! What is life? You see, this is what happens when I get a torrent of comments on here and on my Instagram. The writer in me just comes to life, because I know there are people anxiously awaiting to read this chapter. So blame yourselves for my lack of sleep! *sobs loudly*
> 
> I'm kidding. I'll be perfectly fine after I snooze for a bit, but yes! Go on and read. <3

Days turned into weeks, and before I knew it, the first of December was here. Since we had moved in together, it had been a tradition for Armin and I to put up the Christmas tree the first day of the month. So, the moment he got home from work, we went into the living room to set it up.

            As I finished clicking in the last piece, Armin put his hands on his hips, tilting his head to the side to look at the top of the tree that was leaning over. “I think this old thing is ready to retire.”

            I gaped at him, putting a loving hand on one of the tree branches. “How dare you. It might be old and ugly, but it’s _our_ old and ugly.”

            He ignored my comment, trying to straighten out a branch that was sticking up at an awkward angle. A handful of plastic pine needles came off in his hand. “You see.” He held them out to me, practically shoving them in my face. “It’s begging to be put out of its misery, Eren. Before you put up any kind of argument with me, can you listen to what I have to say?” He waited for me to nod to continue. “How about we pick up the gang, and we all go tree shopping together? After all, it’s not just the two of us anymore. I think it’s time to make a new tradition.”

            Petting the branch, I considered what he had said. It was true that it was no longer just the two of us. If I really thought about it, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to start a new tradition this year. We found so many of our old friends from the past, it would be nice to include them.  

            “Okay,” I said. “But we can’t throw it out.” It had been a hammy down from my parent’s, and I didn’t want to see it thrown out with the trash. If anything, I’d donate it. Someone out there could use an ugly Christmas tree.

            “Fine. Should I call up Hanji? Or do you want to give Levi a call?”

            I grinned stupidly at the sound of my boyfriend’s name. “They’re already on their way. So are Mikasa and Isabel.”

            “That’s perfect. I’m going to take a quick shower before they get here.” He left the living room without another word.

            I went to go sit down on the couch, turning on the new PS4 Rob had dropped off for me earlier this week. A lot of the new games he wanted me to test out were on this system now. The graphics were amazing, but the games were short and had a lot of glitches. Games just weren’t how they used to be.

            The game I was playing now was the fourth installment of an action-adventure series. I was hooked, mainly because it reminded me of the old school Tomb Raider games. Now those were classics. I still played them—good graphics be damned.

            I was in the middle of completing a mission when the doorbell rang. “Armin,” I called, not wanting to get up.

            “Yeah, yeah,” he responded. “I’m getting it.”

            A few minutes later, Hanji came bounding into the living room, jumping onto the couch next to me. She had barely settled in her seat when Levi came striding in, taking off his messenger bag. He shot her a glare, to which she responded by rolling her eyes dramatically before moving to the end of the couch.

            He plopped down beside me once she was out of his way, leaning sideways to rest his head in my lap. When a cut scene was playing, I ran my fingers through his silky hair. He sighed in content, nuzzling his face against my stomach.

            “Save your game,” Armin said to me, jerking his thumb over his shoulder. “Mikasa and Isabel are here. We should get going.”

            After I saved at the next checkpoint, I shut off the PS4 and pulled on my dark-gray jacket. That’s when I noticed Levi wasn’t wearing one, and I glowered at him. He glanced up at me, giving me a what-the-fuck-is-that-look-for expression.

            “Why aren’t you wearing a jacket?” I asked, pointing at his bare arms.

            He shrugged. “I did. I forgot it in my locker at school. Now stop being a drama queen, and let’s go.”

            I grabbed him by the wrist before he could take a step, pulling him against me. I leaned in to run my lips against his earlobe, silently slipping out of my jacket, relishing the shudder that went through his body at my touch. Nipping at his ear, I swung the jacket over his shoulders.

            “Wear it,” I said.

            He slid his arms through the sleeves. “So exaggerated.” His voice sounded shaky, breathless.

            I slipped my hands beneath his shirt, caressing the soft skin of his lower back. “You like it. Now come on.” I grabbed his hand, leading him out of the apartment.            

            We were all going to cram into Isabel’s truck, which was parked out front. She had the only car that could fit a tree in it. Not that she minded driving at all. She let out an impressive squeal when Levi complimented her on her 4x4 Nissan Titan, and smiled even wider when he ruffled her hair.

            “That’s so cute,” Hanji said, staring at them. “I’m going to cry!”

            Levi jabbed her in the arm with his finger. “Get in the car.”

            “Ow!” She smacked his ass twice. “That was uncalled for!”

            He rubbed where she had hit him. “Not as uncalled for as what I’m about to do.” He grabbed her in a headlock, using his free hand to spank her ass three times. “Say mercy.”

            “Eren, do something,” she said. “Don’t let him make me say mercy, or I’ll scream at the top of my lungs.”

            I stepped up to them, leaning forward to kiss Levi.

            Hanji slipped out of his grip the instant his hold loosened on her. “Hah! I am victorious! Long live me!” She raised her arms over her head.

            “You asshole,” Levi said to me. “That was unfair, you cheater.”

            I shrugged, grabbing his shoulders to spin him around. I gave him a little push in the direction of the truck, slapping his ass to hurry him up. He looked over his shoulder to shoot me a scowl, but his cheeks were flushed, giving away how he truly felt.

            When all of us were in the car but one, we realized that someone was going to have to sit on someone’s lap. Hanji didn’t even waste any time to kick Levi out, telling me to get in to take his place. Once I was seated, Levi climbed back in, avoiding everyone’s stares as he sat down on my lap.

            “Problem fixed,” Hanji said, leaning forward to pat Isabel on the shoulder. “Let’s go!”

            “Whoo-hoo!” Isabel started up the truck, burning rubber as she pulled out onto the street. It only took five minutes of being on the road to realize that she was one hell of a crazy driver. In fact, everyone buckled their seatbelts at the exact same time, and Levi clung onto me with a death grip.

            By the time we made it to the department store, none of us hesitated to get out as fast as humanly possible. The only one who didn’t seem fazed was Mikasa, who stepped out of the truck like Isabel didn’t almost crash us into the ground twenty times in a row. Even Hanji looked a little rattled, and that was saying something.

            “You could’ve warned us,” I said to Mikasa. “I think I just had a heart attack.”

            She gave me an impassive look. “You’ve been through worse.”

            “Not in this lifetime.”

            “You’ll survive.” She caught up to Isabel and Hanji, leaving me behind with Levi.

            He placed his hand in mine, waiting for me to lace our fingers together. Once I did, we walked up to the front entrance together, finding the rest of our gang in the Christmas section of the store. Armin and Mikasa were pointing out a well-sized tree, while Hanji and Isabel were going on about a tree that looked like it wouldn’t even fit in our apartment.

            As they bickered, I led Levi down another aisle that held stockings. “Pick one,” I said.

            “Why? Going to stuff my stocking this Christmas?” He raised an eyebrow, smirking suggestively. “I’ll be turning sixteen, you know." He turned his back to me, running his finger along a dark-green stocking. “Is Santa going to pay me a visit after hours?”

            I was glad he couldn’t see my smile in response to that. “I should show up at your house in a Santa costume for that comment.”

            He shrugged, giving his hips a little wiggle. “I wouldn’t mind. So long as I got to unwrap my present.”

            “You’re on a roll, aren’t you?”

            He glanced back at me, giving me no time to react before he whipped around, his fingers brushing along the waistband of my jeans. “You haven’t even touched me since the last time. Trust me, I’m more on a roll then you’ll ever know.”

            I looked from side to side, making sure there were no peeping Tom’s, but no one was around. While I was distracted, he took the opportunity to slip his hand into my boxers, fingertips gliding down my length, causing me to shiver.

            “Shit,” I gasped. “What is up with you and stores?”

            “It’s not my fault you’re a tease.”

            “ _I’m_ a tease? I’m not the one touching you in public places.”

            He took his hand out. “You’re right. I shouldn’t touch _you_ , if you’re not willing to touch _me_.” He grabbed the green stocking, tossing it at me. “That one.” Then he stalked off without looking back.

            Of course he had to go and make things difficult. It’s not like I didn’t want to touch him. Every day I was straining to keep my hands to myself, which was hard as all hell. He was a minx—wearing clothing that clung onto him in delicious ways. It wasn’t only that, he also took it upon himself to suggest, anytime he could, how much he wanted me. At one point he even sent me a text at one o’clock in the morning, explaining to me in excruciating detail what he wanted me to do to him. If he had been there when I read that, I wouldn’t have hesitated to give him exactly what he wanted.

            It was a little strange to see him so openly flirtatious like this. In our other life, he was like a brick wall when it came to that. At least out in public, he was. He hid his affection for me rather well, unless I got hurt, then his impassive façade would slip. This was just a reminder that I couldn’t really compare him to the man he was back then. Not that he didn’t have his corporal moments every once in a while, but mostly, he was just Levi Ral. And that was perfectly all right with me.

            As I walked back to the tree section, I thought about how I was treating the situation. After Petra and I had that talk at IHOP, I had been avoiding all sexual acts with Levi like the plague. I even kept kissing to a minimum. Now that I really thought about it, a part of me was waiting for him to take control, to rope me in and not let me out. I kept forgetting that he wasn’t sexually confident enough to do that. As it was, this was the furthest he had taken it, and I had gone and slapped him in the face with it.

            Even with his memories returning, he was never going to be as he was. He hadn’t experienced those things firsthand in this life, so it felt like a dream to him. Hell, it felt like a dream to me sometimes, too. I had to stop expecting him to suddenly change into the corporal. This was another lifetime, another us, and it was about time I started acting like it.

            When I rounded the corner, I saw him standing next Hanji. He was leaning his head on her shoulder while Mikasa and Armin were trying to coax the cardboard box the tree came in into the shopping cart.

            I went up to him, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind. “I’m sorry,” I whispered into his ear.

            He lifted his head up, giving Hanji a gentle shove. She took the hint, and went to go stand next to Isabel, who was gaping at all the ornaments. “Sorry for what?”

            “For acting like that back there.”

            “Whatever, Eren. I get it. You want me to be who I used to be, right? Well, newsflash, I’m not him. I may look like him, I may possess some of his memories, but I can’t be humanity’s strongest for you. Now let go of me.” He gripped my arms, trying to yank them away from his waist, but I held on fast.

            “I like you just the way you are,” I said. “For the longest time, though, that’s how I remembered you. So when I found you in this life, it was a bit strange for me to see you like this. I’m not expecting you to revert to who you were back then. I know that’s impossible.”

            “You wish I could though, right?”

            Corporal Levi was my first love. He had been my first everything, but our life together as those people was over. Even when he had those memories, we weren’t exactly the same as we had been. There would always be a part of me that was truly Eren Yeager, just as there would always be a part of Levi that was the corporal. But under these circumstances, we weren’t obligated to really _be_ them. There were no titans, which meant no need for humanity’s strongest, and no need for a titan-shifter. In this life, we could be who we could’ve been without the constant danger hanging over our heads, without all the tragedy we had witnessed.

            I let my head fall onto his shoulder. “I’ll always love and miss him. When you remember me from back then, you’ll understand what I mean. That doesn’t mean I want you to be him. I just want us to be happy together. I want _you_ just as you are. I want your blushes, and I want your shyness…I want your everything.”

            He sighed. “I already understand what you mean.” My head shot up, but he reached back to tug it back down. “I remembered a few things about you from back then. _You_ used to be the blushing virgin, and I have to say, I miss that. But I also like how you’re the experienced one now. So, I do understand. I guess I just overreact because sometimes I try to be like I was, and I can’t really accomplish it. I’m too fucking shy, and it sucks.”

            “I like it,” I said. “But don’t worry. One day you’ll be confident enough to dominate me, but until then”—I pulled him closer to me, letting my hands glide beneath his shirt to run over his stomach—“I think I’ll enjoy being the one in control.”

            “Hey lovebirds,” Isabel called to us. “Come on. We got the tree in the cart while you guys were necking.”

            After the tree was bought and paid for, we all—except Mikasa—reluctantly got back into Isabel’s truck. She was no less crazy with her driving than she was on the way over to the store. It was a wonder we made it back to my apartment in one piece. As a matter of fact, I wanted to fall to my knees and kiss the ground the instant I was out of her car. I had lived to see another day.

            Once we were inside the apartment, we all made our way to the living room. Mikasa and me had carried the tree in, and had set the box down on the floor near the window. Armin made quick work of opening it up, and then we were all doing our share of putting the pieces together.

            With everyone pitching in, it didn’t take us long to assemble it. When the last piece was put together, Armin stepped back to look at our handiwork.

            “Now that’s more like it,” he said, elbowing my arm. “What do you think?”

            I couldn’t deny that the tree looked a lot nicer than the last one. “I’m still putting up my shitty ornaments.”

            He smiled. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

            We all decided that it was time for a break, so Hanji and Isabel slipped into the kitchen to raid our fridge, while Mikasa and Armin sat and talked on the couch. Levi dragged me into the kitchen, too, claiming he was “as thirsty as a hoe.” Yeah, he whipped out that pun.

            After Levi poured himself a glass of water, Hanji lifted herself up on the counter near the sink. “Soooo,” she said, “who wants to get wet?” She grabbed the pull out rinser, wielding it like a gun.

            “Don’t you damn dare,” Levi said, putting his glass down.

            “I dare.” She pushed down on the nozzle, releasing a spray of water that hit him directly on the crotch. He hunched over, cursing like a sailor while she wet every inch of him.

            “I’m going to kill you!” he shouted.

            She released the nozzle. “Do you promise?”

            “I hate you so much right now.”

            Hanji slipped off the counter, leaving the kitchen. When she came back, backpack in tow, she rummaged inside of it until she pulled out a very familiar pair of galaxy leggings. “Here, put these on.”

            “Hell no!” He crossed his arms to form an X. “You’re a scheming little…”

            “Just put them on,” she said, tossing them at him.

            He caught them midair, glaring daggers at her as he stomped off toward my bedroom. I followed after him, listening to his string of curses down the hallway.

            “Shut the door behind you,” he said to me when I stepped inside my room. He was in the process of peeling off his soaking wet shirt. “I swear I’m going to end her for this. I’m freezing!” That’s when I noticed that he was shivering pretty bad.

            I shut the door before I went into my bathroom, pulling one of my towels down from the rack it hung on. I took it out to him, watching him dry off his upper body with it. When his torso was mostly dry, he unfastened his slacks, yanking them down his legs. He was too consumed in anger to realize I was staring—no, _gawking_ —at him.

            “I’m cold, dammit!” he complained while he dried off his legs. “Let me borrow a pair of sweatpants. No way in hell am I wearing those stupid leggings.” I didn’t know I made a whining sound until he looked back at me questioningly. I was about to apologize, and go get some sweatpants for him, when he suddenly took hold of the leggings. “Do you want me to wear these? Is that it?”

            God did I ever. I wasn’t even about to deny it. “Uh-huh.”

            He made a show of taking off his boxers, keeping the leggings in front of his crotch at all times. He was teasing, and I knew it, but I couldn’t help but enjoy this side of him. He was a little vixen, sliding on those leggings while never taking his eyes off me.

            He snapped the waistband against his skin, turning around to give me a perfect view of his shapely ass. Looking over his shoulder at me, he asked, “So, what do you think?”

            “I can’t even think right now,” was my stupid response.

            “Hmm.” He turned back around, walking toward me. I stared at him all the while, watching the gentle sway of his hips, and the V of muscle that dipped below the fabric. My gaze wandered upward after that, taking in his lean frame and creamy skin. Then my eyes landed on one of his rosy nipples, and it took everything not to push him onto the bed.

            When he reached me, he slung his arms around my neck, kissing my jaw. I put my hands on either side of his waist, lifting him up to press his back against the wall. He gasped in surprise, but was quick to wrap his legs around me.

            “Your mom trusts me not to do anything with you until you’re ready,” I said.

            He looked down at me. “I am ready. I want you, Eren. I’m not going to regret being with you.” He pressed his face against my neck. “I love you.”

            “I love you, too.”

            “Then what’s stopping you?”

            “Well, for starters, everyone is here.”

            He leaned back to stare at me. “If that’s the only thing, then allow me to tell them to get the fuck out.”

            I laughed, but it died off quickly when I thought about how serious this really was. “I don’t want to rush you, Levi. I don’t want you to wake up tomorrow morning and realize that you weren’t ready for this. You’re only fifteen. That’s young. I can wait. Hell, I can wait until you’re eighteen. There’s no hurry. There’s no obligat—”

            “Shh,” he whispered against my lips, cutting me off. “I know there’s no hurry. I know you’re not pushing me into this. I _know_ all of this.” He stared right into my eyes as he said, “I’m ready. Trust me when I say that.”

            “Before we go any further, I need you to understand that you can stop me at anytime. Don’t you dare hesitate to stop me if you’re not sure you want to continue. I won’t be mad.”

            “I’d push you off me whether you got mad or not, if I wanted you to stop.” He grabbed me by the chin. “Now stop worrying and get those people out of here.”

            I set him down on his feet, kissing him once before I made my way out to the living room. I didn’t even know how to go about this, so I said the first thing that came to mind. “I want new ornaments. I can’t go with you, or I’ll try to stop you. But our ornaments are ugly and…just go get new ornaments, dammit!”

            They all stared at me like I had gone crazy. Then Isabel fell back onto the couch in a fit of laughter, and Hanji was quick to join her. Armin and Mikasa gave each other knowing looks, but luckily for me, they didn’t say anything. They just gathered up the girls and ushered them out of the apartment.

            Before Armin slipped out of the front door, he whispered, “Protection.”

            I rolled my eyes, pushing at him. “Yeah, I got it.”

            Once he was out, I went back into my bedroom to find Levi lying back on my bed.

            “Get over here,” he said.

            No part of me hesitated to comply.       

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there are any grammatical and/or spelling errors, forgiveth me! It's 5. I'm sorry! I like to yell when I'm sleepy! Or in this case, use explanation points!!
> 
> I'm going to leave now before I make an even bigger fool of myself. So, thank you for reading, and the comments (shower me with love!), and the kudos! I love ya'll! Good night!
> 
> Wait! I forgot the P.S. YES, ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER! I'm a little sorry, but mostly I'm not. Me and my evil ways, right? Ugh.
> 
> If you read the first draft of this, whoops, I fixed a lot. xD


	17. Complete

The hesitation I had felt mere minutes ago was gone, replaced with a searing need to make Levi mine. So, without wasting another second, I walked to the bed, leaning forward to place my hands on either side of his head. Making eye contact, I swung my leg over his hips, straddling him. When I sat back on his crotch, he swallowed hard, cheeks going a bright shade of red.

            I listened to his shaky intake of breath as I slid my hands up his sides, bending forward to run the tip of my tongue along the seam of his lips. The second he parted them, I let my desire to taste him take over, moaning into his mouth when his fingertips dipped beneath the waistband of my jeans.

            “I remembered something else,” he whispered against my lips. “I remembered the first time we had sex in our previous life. You were so nervous.”

            I leaned back to gaze into his eyes. “You remembered that? And it's not my fault that I was nervous. You were very intimidating back then. I swear you never smiled.”

            He smirked. “Smiling wasn’t my thing. It still isn’t. Even though I smile a lot when I’m around you.” He poked my shoulder with his index finger. “It’s annoying.”

            “It’s because you love me.” I smiled at him, running my thumb along his flushed cheek.

            “Only sometimes,” he said.

            “All the time. Admit it. You can’t even deny—” My words were cut off by my sharp intake of breath as he grasped the base of my erection.

            In our other life, he had always been the one in control, dominating me whenever it came to anything sexual. This time around, I wasn’t going to let him get away with it. Especially knowing that he didn’t know how to proceed from here. One memory wouldn’t help him in this area. I was the one with prior experience, and I sure as hell was going to use it.

            I grabbed his wrist, pinning it beside him on the bed. He gave me a questioning look, but I ignored it, running my hand down the length of his stomach. When I reached the band of his leggings, I slid my fingers beneath it, and kept going until they brushed against the head of his cock. His hips stuttered under me, and I nipped and licked the underside of his chin as he let out little whimpering moans.

            When he was nothing more then a panting mess, I released him. He stared up at me through hooded eyes, biting down on his bottom lip as his hands grabbed the hem of my shirt. He gave one sharp tug at it, giving me a meaningful look while he did it. I took the hint for what it was, and grabbed the collar of my shirt, yanking it over my head.

            Once I was free of the fabric, I lowered myself over him, kissing a trail to one of his hardened nipples. The memory of how he had reacted the last time I had done this was all too clear in my mind as I took it into my mouth, satisfied when he let out an ardent moan.

            “Ah,” he breathed, body shuddering as I worked his nipple in my mouth, and his cock with my hand.

            He was thrusting his hips against me, moans slipping unbidden from his mouth. The flush had crept down from his cheeks to color his neck and part of his chest. I leaned back to stare down at him, taking in every detail of his face.

            “You’re perfect,” I said.

            His response was to wrap his arms around my neck, pulling me down to kiss me with reckless abandon. He held nothing back, and neither did I. He invaded every part of my mouth with his tongue, making soft little noises in the back of his throat. It was almost too much to bear, desire shooting through me and alighting my insides on fire.

            I sat back on my heels, taking hold of the waistband of his leggings, slipping them down his legs. I tossed them to the side once they were off of him, my eyes taking in his hard length before snapping up to lock onto his.

            “Eren,” Levi said, thrusting his hips suggestively.

            Without answering, I leaned over to the side to pull open the drawer of my nightstand, grabbing the bottle of lube and condom I kept in there. With them in hand, I moved back over him, placing them to the side to maneuver his legs apart. He propped himself up on his elbows to watch me intently as I poured some lube onto my fingers.

            I bent down to trail open-mouthed kisses along the inside of his thigh while I rubbed my finger in a slow circle around his entrance. He kept his gaze on me, eyes squeezing shut when I worked a finger into him. I moved it in and out of him at an excruciatingly slow pace, letting him get used to the feeling. Once he was moving his hips down to meet me, I pumped my finger faster.

            As I slipped a second digit inside, I bit down gently on the fleshy part of his thigh, and whispered, “I know your body like the back of my hand,” before I brushed my fingertips across the sensitive bundle of nerves inside him. He fell back onto the bed in a heap, moaning loudly, rutting against my finger.

            He slid his hands up my arms to my shoulders, digging his nails into my skin when I rubbed that spot again. “Ah, shit!” His whole body quivered. “I don’t w-want your fingers…”

            I sucked hard on his inner thigh, leaving behind a mark. “Tell me what you want.”

            “You.”

            I smirked, licking the base of his length. “Be specific.”

            “You bastard—AH!” I brushed my fingers in the right way again, stealing his words from him. He was breathing hard, averting his eyes as he whispered, “I want you...”

            “Yes?”

            “I want you inside of me. God, please, I need you so bad.”

            I slipped my fingers out of him, but before I could do anything, he sprung up, working my jeans open. I got to my knees so he could slip them down passed my thighs, sitting back to let him yank the pant legs off my feet. The second they were off, he was pressing heated kisses down my stomach, not stopping until his mouth was on the head of my cock.

            He sucked hard, causing my hips to jerk forward. He glanced up at my face, taking me in deeper, his tongue hot and wet against me. I tangled my fingers in his hair, unable to tear my eyes away from him. He looked hot sucking me off with flushed cheeks and dark hair falling over his half-lidded eyes. I was surprised I could keep the sounds I made in check, only letting out harsh breaths.

            He licked the head one last time before lying back, spreading his legs in open invitation. I didn’t waste time, picking up the condom and tearing the foil packet open. After I rolled it on, I poured a generous amount of lube into my hand, spreading it along my length, tossing the bottle to the side and settling in between his legs.

            I looked up at him. “It shouldn’t hurt if I go slow.”

            He nodded, biting on his bottom lip as I lined myself up with his entrance. I kept eye contact, pushing in slowly. He was so tight, so hot around me. My eyes closed of their own accord, rolling my hips forward until I was all the way inside him. I forced my lids open, propping myself up on my hands to look down at him.

            “Are you ok?” I asked.

            “Yeah,” he said, his voice low and rough. He wrapped his legs around my hips, pressing his heels into the small of my back, urging me forward.

            I set a slow rhythm at first, not wanting to hurt him. But when he began to push himself down onto me with little whines, I couldn’t take it anymore. I moved my hands to his hips, angling them up so I would hit that spot inside him with each thrust.

            Levi grabbed fistfuls of the sheet beneath him, eyes screwed tightly shut. His lips parted as he moaned and moved beneath me. “Faster,” he panted.

            I sped up, the sound of skin slapping against skin echoing around the room. His arms went limp, falling to either side of him, his moans turning into sharp cries with each jerk of my hips.

            Leaning down, I pressed our bodies together, feeling his soft skin rub against mine. I licked his bottom lip before I kissed him deeply, swallowing every sound he made. “Spread your legs wider,” I begged, gasping with pleasure as I sank deeper into him. “Yeah, just like that. Fuck…you feel so good.”

            His back arched upward as his hands slid down my back to the curve of my ass. He dug his nails into the skin there, pushing me further into him, eliciting a deep moan from the both of us. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, muffling the sounds I was making.

            “S-So good,” he breathed, nails raking up my back, the sharp lick of pain mingling with the pleasure, making every inch of my body throb in response. “Ah, yes! Like that. Just like that. I’m close. So close.”

            I set an unforgiving pace, feeling him push his hand between us. He started stroking himself in time with my thrusts, letting out incoherent yells that sent shivers running down my spine. I kept my eyes trained on his face, watching it scrunch up in concentration, lips parting as more moans spilled from his mouth.

            He came suddenly, his back arching off the bed at a ridiculous angle, head thrown back against the pillow. Onyx black hair clung to his forehead, obscuring parts of his closed eyes, standing out in contrast with his porcelain pale skin. My thoughts were ripped from me as I felt his walls squeeze and pulsate around me, pulling out a strained groan from me.

            “Ah, _shit_ ,” I said, thrusting into that incredibly tight heat, feeling myself growing close. I was tipped over the edge when Levi squeezed his legs around my hips, forcing me deeper into him. I came hard, hips jerking erratically as I rode out my orgasm.

            I slumped on top of Levi, breathing hard. My head rose and fell with every intake of breath he took. We were both spent, and I was happy to just lie there, not even caring that my chest was now covered in his come.

            He shoved at my shoulders. “Get up. We need to clean up.”

            “No,” I groaned.

            “Oh, come on. Get up!” He pushed me off, stretching his arms above his head before sitting up. I looked at the curve of his back, at the pale skin that was strained over taut, defined muscles. “Stop staring.” He kicked my calf.

            “I can’t help it. You’re hot.”

            He rolled his eyes, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. When he stood up, putting his round ass on display, I downright glared at it. He looked at me over his shoulder. “Come on, before you start drooling.”

            After he disappeared in my bathroom, I forced myself out of bed. I was in the doorway when I heard the sound of the shower start up, then I was all but running in there. I stepped inside in time to watch him climb into the tub. I followed suit, losing the urgency to touch him when he rubbed at his back, wincing.

            “Shit,” I said. “I overdid it. I’m sorry.”

            He turned around to face me, wrapping his arms around my neck. He kissed my chest. “No. It was my first time, that’s all. It was fucking good, so don’t even start getting all mopey on me. Now”—he grabbed the loofah from the shower caddy, handing it over to me—“take care of me.”

            There were so many things I wanted to say, to tell him, but instead I grabbed the body wash and squirted some onto the loofah. I worked it into a thick lather of soapy suds before I began washing him, kissing his chest softly as I scrubbed away any evidence of what we had done earlier.

            It was as I was cleaning his stomach that I noticed his growing arousal. I glanced up at him, surprised to see him looking embarrassed. I hung the loofah back up, falling to my knees before him. His eyes widened.

            “You don’t have to,” he said. “It’s just the drawbacks of being a teenager.”

            “Shut up. I want to.” I pressed my tongue to the base of his length, peering up at him through my lashes. His fingers slid into my wet hair, head falling back against the tile wall.

            I mouthed up the underside of his member before I closed my lips around the head, running my hands up to grab his hips. I took him in slowly, admiring the way his face contorted as pleasure overtook him. Moving back up, I swiped my tongue along the tip, licking up the pre-cum that had gathered there. He tasted salty and bitter on my tongue, but so right, because it was _him._

            Overwhelmed with emotions, I realized how much he meant to me—how much he’d always mean to me. Since our previous life, I’d loved him in a way that I couldn’t understand. How could I even love someone this much? It was a question I had asked myself plenty of times in both lives, one that I didn’t have an answer to. The answer didn’t matter to me, because it had reunited us in this life—would keep bringing us back together.

            Levi’s hand slid down to wrap around the base of my neck, his hips thrusting forward to softly fuck my mouth. He was moaning my name in a way that made me ache for him, but not in a lustful way. I wanted him in every way imaginable. I wanted his smiles, his happiness, his anger, and his faults…his everything. I just wanted _him_ , every day of my life.

            “E-Eren,” he whimpered, trying to pull my head away, but I sucked at him harder. His hips shook against my hands as he came for the second time that day. I swallowed everything he had, holding him up when he sagged against me.

            I stood up, wrapping my arms around his waist. I held him for what felt like a long time. It was only when the water started to get chilly, that we moved away from each other, washing the rest of ourselves up.

            After we dried off, we both went back out to my bedroom. I dressed in a comfortable pair of sweats, throwing my other set to Levi. He glanced down at his nakedness, shrugging as he pulled them on.

            We had barely pulled on T-shirts when we heard the front door open. There was no time to go out to the living room before my door swung open, emitting a loud Isabel, and even louder Hanji. They stared at us for a number of minutes, eyes moving from me to Levi.

            “Sooooo,” Hanji said, tossing herself on my bed. “How was it?”

            “Don’t start.” Levi chucked the bunched up galaxy leggings at her face.

            Isabel just stared at my bed like it was an open mine. She looked up at Hanji. “They came on that thing.”

            Hanji shrugged, rolling around until she spotted the condom wrapper. She pinched it between thumb and forefinger, holding it up over her head with a triumphant smile. “My short baby isn’t a virgin anymore! My heart! My child is growing up!”

            Levi rolled his eyes. “Throw that away.”

            She held it to her chest. “No way! I’m keeping it as a souvenir. It’ll be a reminder of when my dear baby lost his virginity.”

            “Throw it away!” he barked, but she just shook her head. Then everything was a blur after that, because he jumped on top of her, trying to pry the condom wrapper from her hand, but she bit down hard on his fingers. “Ow, you little demon!”

            “Get off of me.”

            They continued to wrestle around the bed, and I would’ve been content to stare at them, if it weren’t for the sudden turn of events. Hanji rolled off the bed, pulling Levi with her. They smashed against the floor in a tangle of limbs and curses. That’s when I saw a splatter of blood.

            Isabel was the first to go over, pulling Hanji up to her feet. The blood was coming from her. There was a good amount leaking from her nose.

            “Am I bleeding?” Hanji asked, wiping at her face.

            “Yeah,” Isabel told her. “You have a bloody nose. Let’s go get you cleaned up. Hold your head back.”

            She threw her head back exaggeratedly, laughing like a hyena as she stepped out of my bedroom. She was still holding onto the condom wrapper, and I had to wonder if she was just naturally crazy, but I didn’t have time to dwell on it, because Levi was on his feet.

            I turned to look at him. “She was crazy for titans back then, and apparently now she’s crazy for condom wrappers.”

            “She’s just crazy,” he said. “And I’m hungry. I haven’t eaten all day, and I’m pretty sure I used up all my energy.”

            I walked over to him, cupping his cheek. “We’ll go get something to eat.”

            “You know,” he drawled, wrapping his arms around my waist, “we still have _all_ night.”

            “No we don’t. You have to be home by eleven. It’s already eight.”

            He glared at me. “Food can wait.”

            I laughed. “You’re insatiable. Food _can’t_ wait. Now, come on.” I grabbed his hand, leading him out of my room, ignoring his grumbling behind me.

            Mikasa and Armin were in the kitchen, talking about Christmas presents when they spotted us. They didn’t say anything, but I could see them thinking over what had just happened between us.

            “Where are you two off to?” Armin asked.

            “We’re going to grab something to eat,” I said.

            “Can I come?” Hanji hollered, running into the kitchen. She looked over at Levi. “I threw it away, so not a word.”

            “I made her.” Isabel walked in behind her, leaning her elbow on her shoulder. “We can all go. I’m starving.”

            Levi grinned. “You’re always hungry.”

            “Exactly. So let’s go.”

            “You guys want to come, too?” I asked Armin and Mikasa, but they shook their heads, surprising me. “Why not?”

            “I hate fast food,” Mikasa said. “I’d prefer to make something.”

            Armin nodded. “Same here.”             

            I stared at them, feeling as if they weren’t telling me something. But what could have happened while they were out? Hanji and Isabel weren’t acting any differently. If anything went down, they would know, too. Still, I couldn’t help feeling like they were keeping something from me. Or maybe they were feeling awkward. After all, they knew what happened between Levi and me.

            “Okay,” I said.

            Armin rounded the kitchen island, putting his hand on my shoulder. “Go on and get some food. We’ll talk when you get back.”

            There it was. They _were_ keeping something from me. Obviously it was something they didn’t feel comfortable sharing with the rest—at least not now, anyway.

            “Come on then,” Levi said, tugging me toward the front door.

            Once we were in my car, I pushed all thoughts aside, focusing on driving. Levi wanted Chinese food, so I was going to a restaurant on Alma School road. I hadn’t heard of it before, so he was directing me.

            Hanji popped up in the center of our seats, seeming unable to take the silence anymore. “You two are looking snazzy.” She pointed to the sweatpants we were wearing. “Is that a thing after having sex? Change into sweatpants?”

            Levi glared at her. “Would it kill you not to talk about it?”

            “Probably.”

            I was stopped at a red light when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I fished it out, glancing down at the screen.

 

            **Armin: Mikasa bumped into someone else from our past today. It’s nothing to worry about, so have a good time. We’re just a little overwhelmed at the prospect of finding someone else this quickly.**

 

            I stared down at the message, and then quickly typed out a reply.

           

            **Me: Who is it?**

 

            A few seconds later, I received the response:

 

            **Armin: Annie.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did it totally suck? Ugh! That's all I'm going to say on this. Maybe it's because I struggle with smut, but either way, I hope I get over this writer's block soon.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, leaving comments, and kudos. You guys are the best. :) <3
> 
> Note from four months after I wrote this: I reread this at 4 in the morning and I want to slap my past self a little. It wasn't even bad. PFFTTT! Thank you guys for dealing with my insecurities. I still love you.


	18. Doesn't Concern Me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say how much I regret titling chapters? I swear I can't come up with them for crap, and it's killing me slowly. But anyway, it's funny how fast I got over writer's block once I was passed all that smut. Smut makes me nervous, what can I say? I haven't written a lot of it, so I just get all fidgety and twitchy, and it's a very ugly thing to witness (the boy I'm with gets to see it all. lucky him, right? not!!)
> 
> Soooo, I really like this chapter. It's fun and cute and ugh, I love my babies so much.
> 
> Now go and read! :D

After I had received that text message from Armin last night, I couldn’t get Annie off of my mind. The last memories I had of her weren’t good ones. She had killed so many of our comrades, and instead of facing up to what she had done, she hid away in that crystal. The only reason she even had the time to create it around her as some protective shield was because I had hesitated to pull her out of her titan body.

            I let my forehead fall onto the dining table, groaning. There were a lot of things that I didn’t want to remember from my previous life, and she was one of them. If it were up to me, I’d forget about her entirely, but Mikasa had other plans.

            She had come over to the apartment at eight o’clock this morning, refusing to leave until I heard her out. According to her, there was a good reason to not drop the subject of Annie Leonhart. Whatever that reason was, it wouldn’t be good enough for me, but I knew the only way to get her off my back was to listen to what she had to say.

            “Make this quick,” I said.

            She sighed, grabbing a fistful of my hair to yank my head up off the table. “This is important, so at least look at me while I’m trying to explain myself.”

            I slapped her hand away, leaning back in the chair. “Fine. Just hurry up already.”

            “The memories I have of Annie aren’t any better than yours, but this doesn’t concern either of us.”

            I glanced up at her in confusion. “If it doesn’t concern us, then why are we even talking about it?”

            “Because it concerns Levi.” She stared at me, eyes narrowing. “Do I have your attention now?”

            “You know you do,” I bit out.

            She pushed her seat back, getting to her feet. “She wants to meet with him.”

            “What? Hell no. He doesn’t even remember her, and they had nothing to do with each other in our other life. What could she want with him?”

            “I’m not sure,” Mikasa said, beginning to pace with her hands laced behind her back as a frown settled on her face. “I’m good at reading people, Eren, and she seemed sincere when she told me that it was important that she speak to him. I think we should leave it up to Levi to decide whether he wants to talk to her or not.”

            I reached out and grabbed her arm, stopping her mid-stride. “Stop that. It’s getting me frustrated.”

            “I’m sorry.” She sat back down, pulling her seat in before her eyes focused on me once again. “I think we should tell him. It may concern something important to him. Why else would she want to speak with him? Like you said, they didn’t have much to do with each other in the past.”

            I ran my hands down my face, trying to think of a reason as to why Annie would want to speak to him at all. “I’ll talk to him about it, but don’t expect me to let him go by himself.”

            “Of course not,” she said. “I’d like to go, as well, if you’d let me. As much as you think I don’t care for Levi, I actually have grown quite fond of him. He was around you a lot back in our other life.” She dropped her eyes. “I got used to him, is all.”

            I smiled, putting my hand on her shoulder. “You can come. I’d prefer it that way, anyway. The more, the better.”

            She nodded once. “Will you speak to Levi today?”

            “Yeah. If it’s as important as you’re letting on, then he should know right away.”

            She placed her hand over mine, giving me a hopeful smile. “Let’s hope it’s good news.”

            “If it’s not,” I said, “I could always whoop Annie’s ass. I did it before.”

            “Barely.” She smacked my arm. “Don’t go getting any ideas. Times are different. As much as you dislike her, she’s no longer the female titan, Eren. Just like you’re no longer a titan-shifter. She isn’t the same person she was in our past. Let that sink in.”

            “Yeah, yeah.” If I were to be honest with myself, I was actually a bit curious about how Annie had turned out in this life. She couldn’t be like she was—none of us were. “What time do you have to be at the station?”

            “Eleven. I should probably be heading out. I’m supposed to be meeting up with Isabel before then.” She stood up, straightening her black pencil skirt before looking back at me. “Hey, I know the last couple of weeks haven’t been easy ones. A lot has happened, but I want you to know that I’m always here for you. If you ever need to talk, or blow off some steam, you can always come to me. You do know that, right?”

            I threw my arms around her, hugging her against my chest. “Yes, I know that. Same goes for you, you know. I may suck at giving advice, but I’ll spout it left and right, if that’s what you need.”

            She laughed, tilting her head back to look up at me. “Call me tonight after you talk with Levi, okay?”

            “Okay.”

            I walked her out to her car, waving at her as she pulled out of the parking space. Once she was down the road, the smile faded from my face. There was a lot to think about regarding Annie. For one, what did she want with Levi? What could she possibly know that she felt the need to share with him?

            No matter how hard I thought about it, I couldn’t come up with an answer. There wasn’t enough to go on. From what I remembered, Annie and Levi hardly interacted in our other life. Annie had been too consumed in her own thoughts, coming off as bored and disinterested. Never once did she mention him. So what could she possibly want with him now?

            Back in my apartment, I plopped down on my living room couch, yearning for a distraction. I didn’t have the slightest clue how I was going to tell Levi about her later on today. He had no recollection of her, and if he did, I was sure he wouldn’t think kindly to her wanting to speak to him. Nevertheless, I couldn’t withhold this from him, not if it meant that he could find out something of importance to him.

            Deciding to push the subject aside for now, I turned on my TV, wanting to waste away the hours until it would be time for me to go pick up Levi and Hanji from school. With that in mind, I started playing the action-adventure game I was supposed to have done by this Friday.

            It only took a few minutes for me to get lost in gameplay, shouting at the screen when I died numerous times in the same spot. It was ridiculous. There was a glitch preventing me from using my gun from oncoming attacks. In the end, I winded up bypassing the small group of enemies entirely—by some miracle.

            I was in the midst of watching a cut scene when my phone vibrated against the coffee table. Pausing the game, I picked it up, unlocking the screen to read the text I had received from Levi.

           

            **Levi: Hanji got into a fight. She doesn’t want to call her mom. Think you can come pick us up?**

I read the text over again, willing the message to change, but it stayed the same. Hanji got in a fight?! She may be a crazy, spur of the moment type person, but she wasn’t a fighter—not unless she had to be. So who could’ve riled her up enough to cause her to throw punches?

 

            **Me: I’ll be there soon. Meet me by the science building.**

 

            I sent the text, and then shut off the TV and PS4 system.

            The second my shoes were on, I was out the door. I all but peeled out of my parking space, ignoring my neighbor’s glare as I booked it down the street. He could complain to the landlord all he wanted. It’s not like we lived in luxury suites, or anything.

            I made it to the school in record time, pulling up to the curb in front of the science building fifteen minutes after I had received Levi's text. They were already waiting for me there, and even from this distance, I could see the impressive black eye Hanji was sporting. She was also clutching her side as she made her way over to my car.

            When Levi opened the backdoor for her, I turned around in my seat. “What happened?”

            She got comfortable before answering my question, leaning her head back with a relieved sigh. “I beat some bitch’s ass. That’s what happened.”

            Levi scoffed at her. “She started a fight with some dick head who wasn’t even worth her time of day.”

            “Dick head?" I said. "Wait, was it a guy?”

            Hanji barked out a laugh. “Hell yeah it was a guy, and I made him eat the ground. That asshole thought he could make fun of my short baby, and I showed him otherwise. No one messes with my boo. Isn't that right?” She pinched his cheek, and he rolled his eyes in response.

            I waited until Levi was in the passenger seat to ask, “Someone was making fun of you? For what? Do _I_ need to kick someone’s ass?”

            He glared at me. “Oh, my god. Not you, too. I don’t need to be defended, for your information. That guy was a waste of time.”

            “Still deserved what he got,” Hanji said, rubbing at her swollen cheek. “Fuck him.” A wide smile spread across her face. “Ooo, I like the way that sounded. FUCK HIM! WHOO!”

            Levi’s jaw clenched. “Don’t be an idiot. If you do that again, I’m going to shove your face in the toilet.”

            She leaned forward in between the seats, resting her head on his shoulder as she looked up at him with puppy eyes. “Don’t be like that to me. I defended you.”

            He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It may have started out that way, but I ended up having to come in and defend _you._ ”

            “And it was spectacular, let me tell you,” she said, looking over at me. “He’s so fast. Reminded me of the good ole corporal. It was kind of hot.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “You would have definitely popped a boner. I’m so serious right now.”

            He smacked her forehead. “Shut up before you hurt yourself.” He motioned for me to start driving. “Let’s get out of here. Little Miss Idiot over here is ditching. If they catch her, they’ll call her mom.”

            I put the car in first gear, taking off down the street. “Did you get excused?”

            “Yeah,” he said. “I ended up calling my mom. She wasn’t happy about it, but she understood why.” He groaned, as if suddenly remembering something. “She’s going to make me watch a marathon of chick flicks for this. I hope you’re happy.” He directed his glare at Hanji, who was beaming in the backseat.

            “Of course I’m happy! I got to witness you being a total ninja badass. And I’ll sit through the marathon with you. We can order pizza and everything.”

            Thinking of Petra reminded me of Annie. Shit. How could I ask him to go talk to the girl who had been responsible for her death in our previous life? He may not remember that Petra was his subordinate, but once he did, he would no doubt feel guilty about how she met her end.

            That led me to remember the fact that Petra didn’t want me to tell Levi about her from back then. I didn’t know why. She wouldn’t give me a reason, but I was going to respect her wishes. In the end, he would remember her with time. Maybe she wanted to keep it from him for as long as she could, because she had passed away under his leadership. Even though it hadn't been his fault.

            It had been Annie's.

            My hands tightened around the steering wheel. It was all her fault—no one else’s. I hadn’t realized that back then, but I did now. It was her choice to kill all those people.

            “Eren?” Levi said. “Are you all right?”

            I let out a breath, loosening my grip. “Yeah, I’m fine.” I tried to steer my thoughts away from Annie, so I decided to learn more about this guy who was making fun of him. “What was that guy making fun of you for?”

            He averted his gaze, looking out the window. “That’s not important.”

            “It’s important to me,” I said.

            “But it doesn’t matter.”

            I stopped at a red light, turning to face him. “Hey, look at me.” I waited until he glanced up to continue. “You can tell me anything.”

            He laid his head back on the headrest. “I know, Eren. It’s just stupid. He was going off about me being…gay.”

            “ _What?_ That dick.” I looked at Hanji in the rearview mirror. “Please tell me you hurt him.”

            She grinned. “Oh, I did.”

            Levi glared daggers at me. “Don’t encourage her. If you didn’t notice, he got a few good hits on her, too, before I pulled him off of her.”

            “I did notice,” I said. “If he hurts her again, or touches you, he’s going to be dealing with me. I don’t give a fuck if I go to jail for assaulting a minor.”

            He leaned over the center console to smack me hard on the back of the head. “I will twist your dick off, if you do that.”

            “Aw, I love you, too, baby.”

            He smacked me again. “I’m serious, Eren! Don’t ever do something that stupid. I won’t have you going to jail over some asshole.” I didn’t answer him, instead pulling into a huge empty lot. “What are we doing here?”

            I ignored him, throwing open my door. He stared at me through the front windshield as I rounded the hood, walking over to his side of the car. When I stopped in front of his door, I yanked it open, gesturing for him to get out.

            “Can you tell me what the hell is going on?” he asked.

            I leaned forward to press my ear to his lips. “Get your sexy ass out of the car, or I’m going to make you.”

            He crossed his arms over his chest. “Hah, please. I'd like to see you try.”

            “You asked for it.” I wrapped my arms around his waist, lifting him out of the seat. He let out a yelp when I threw him over my shoulder, giving his ass a good smack. “I told you I’d make you.”

            “Put me down, you idiot!” He pounded on my back, but not hard enough to convince me to set him down.

            I walked back over to the driver’s side, finally putting him down on his feet. He opened his mouth to undeniably make a smart remark, but I shut him up with a deep kiss, pressing his back against the car. He dug his fingers into my hair, letting out a little whine when I bit down on his bottom lip.

            When I leaned back, I looked at his flushed cheeks and grinned.       

            “What was that for?” he said, wiping at his face as though he wanted to rid his cheeks of the red tinge that had appeared there.

            “I told you that I’d teach you how to drive a stick shift, didn’t I?”

            His hand stopped moving against his face. “Right now?”

            “Mhm. Now get in.”

            After he climbed into the driver’s seat, I went to go sit in the passenger seat. When we were settled in, I said, “First things first, you see the pedal all the way on the left?” He nodded. “That's the clutch. You’ll need to push that all the way down to start the car. If you don’t, the engine won’t start.”

            “Okay,” he said, grinning happily. He slid the seat forward, so he could reach the pedals. Then he pressed down on the clutch, turning the key in the ignition. “Now what?”

            “Put it in first gear and slowly, and I mean slowly, release the clutch.”

            He shifted to first gear, lifting his foot off the clutch. He did it too fast, though, and the engine stalled. “Mother fucker!”

            I laughed. “Try it again. It takes a while to get used to the feel of it.”

            He grumbled something that sounded like, “You make it look so easy, you ass.”

            When he managed to release the clutch far enough for the car to shake slightly, I said, “Hold it there.” We started to move forward at a slow pace. “Okay, now press down on the gas until you get to fifteen hundred RPM.” The car jerked forward a bit as he slowly pushed his foot down on the gas pedal, and I instructed him to once again ease up on the clutch until he got to what was called the “catch point.”

            I don’t know how much time passed until he was able to comfortably drive around the parking lot at ten miles per hour, but it was worth it, because he hadn’t stopped smiling since we started.

            “I want to learn, too,” Hanji whined in the backseat.

            I turned around to look at her. “We’ll come back out this weekend. I promise.”

            She squealed. “Yes! I’m so ready.”

            After a few more hours passed, I gave Levi the go ahead to drive back to my apartment. He was nervous as hell, I could tell, but he made it back in a good amount of time—only stalling once. He was a lot better than I had been on my first day.

            Once we were at a stand still, Hanji announced that she was dying of starvation, and needed sustenance to live another second. Levi and I exchanged glances at her exaggeration, but hurried to my backdoor. She didn’t even give me time to open it up before she was pushing through, flipping on the kitchen light to raid my fridge.

            She was in the middle of making a sandwich when I decided it was time to talk to Levi about Annie. It was better to do it now, then later. Even though I hated telling him at all.

            I walked up to where he stood, taking his hand in mine to lead him into my room. I shut the door behind us, and jerked my chin in the direction of the bed. We both went to go sit down, but before I could start talking, he straddled me, throwing his arms around my neck.

            “Thank you for that back there,” he said.

            I ran my hands up his back. “Don’t thank me. I enjoyed it, too. You were smiling a lot, and you look damn cute when you smile.”

            He scoffed. “I’m _not_ cute.”

            “You are.” I kissed his neck, feeling his arms tighten around me.

            “I’m not.” He let his head tip back so I had better access.

            I shook my head, willing myself to stop before this escalated any further. “Wait, fuck, no.”

            He looked at me questioningly. “What is it?”

            “You’re distracting me. I brought you in here for a reason, and not for the one you’re thinking. Here. Sit next to me.” He moved off of me. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

            “Okay,” he said. “Should I be worried? You look like you’re about to shit, or something.”

            I stared at him, unblinking. He really just made that comment. “No, you have nothing to be worried about. Do you remember last night? When Armin sent me that text?”

            He nodded. “Yeah. You were acting all weird after that.”

            “Well, him and Mikasa ran into someone else from our past. Let’s just say that she isn’t a friend, but she wants to talk to you about something she claims is important. I know you don’t remember her, and you don’t have to go and see her, if you don’t want to, but I think you should. I’ll go with you.”

            “Wait, hold on,” he said, holding up a finger. “Why is she not a friend?”

            I sighed. There was no point in keeping it from him. “She was a titan-shifter like me, but…she killed several of our comrades. She was our enemy.”

            “I see.”

            Time seemed to come to a complete stop as I looked at him for some type of reaction, but he just sat there silently. I gave him time to think it over, to come to an answer. If he didn’t want to go see her, I wouldn’t force him to. I’d go down and get the information out of Annie myself, if that’s what it came down to.

            “She said it was important?” Levi finally asked.

            “That’s what Mikasa told me. She thinks you should go talk to her, too.”

            He rubbed at his eyes with the heels of his palms. “I don’t see why this mystery girl would want to talk to me, but if she has something to say, then I’ll go see her.”

            “All right. I’ll give Mikasa a call and tell her. She’ll probably set up a time to meet up with her. I’ll be there with you the whole time, and if she starts anything, we’ll leave right away.”

            “Who is ‘she’ exactly?”

            “Annie Leonhart.” I waited for recognition to flash in his eyes, but it never did.

            “Huh, all right. It doesn’t ring a bell. So”—he pushed me down onto the bed, moving over me—“if you're done talking, shut up and kiss me.”

            I grinned. “With pleasure.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 3 in the morning, and I'm not even tired. Which is surprising, considering I haven't really slept in the passed two days. But enough about me, what did you guys think about this chapter? Did you like it? 
> 
> Honestly, I can't get over how many of you are reading this fic of mine. It surprises me on the daily. I've made so many friends on here and on IG because of this story, and it makes me incredibly happy. So thank you so much for that, and the endless support. Your comments never fail to make me feel happy and secure in my writing abilities. You guys are all my precious babies!
> 
> Thanks for reading, and leaving me those adorable comments, and kudos! I love ya'll! ♡x10


	19. Unexpected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm really excited for you guys to read this chapter. I can't wait to hear your thoughts on what Annie has to say to Levi. I really have nothing more to add to that, now go, hurry.
> 
> Enjoy. :)

In my opinion, Saturday morning came far too soon. There wasn’t enough time for me to mentally prepare myself for seeing Annie again. There were so many unresolved issues when it came to her, so many questions that I wanted answers to. But what was the point now? That life was long gone. Even if I got the answers I wanted, it wouldn’t help any—not now.

            When Levi sat down next to me on my living room couch, I let out a big sigh. This wasn’t about me. No matter how much I didn’t want to see Annie again, she had important information for Levi, and that’s what mattered. I was doing this for him. All I had to do was sit there and listen to what she had to say. I didn’t have to bring up the past. In a way, I didn’t want to know why she did what she did.

            Levi stared up at me, pressing the tip of his index finger between my eyebrows. “Stop worrying already.” He flicked my forehead before climbing onto my lap, curling against me like a cat. “Is she that bad?”

            I thought about that. Was she bad? There was no way of answering that question accurately, because I didn’t really know her. She had always hid behind her nonchalant façade—never letting anyone see passed that.

            “She was part of my training squad,” I said. “I looked up to her. She was strong. I never thought she could be who she ended up being. So I don’t really know if she’s bad or not. I never got to know the real her. The girl behind the mask.”

            He wrapped his arm around my neck, resting his head on my shoulder. “What do you think she wants with me?”

            “I wish I knew. To be honest, I don’t have a clue.”

            It was eleven o’clock in the morning. That left us with two hours before we were meeting up with Annie at her place of work, which happened to be a local ice cream shop not far from my apartment. It was a wonder how I had never ran into her before. She lived so close.

            “Did I like her?” Levi asked.

            I rubbed his back, trying to comfort him in any way I could. "You didn’t really know her. By the time you heard of her, it was after she was discovered to be the female titan. So, I guess no, you didn’t like her at all.”

            “You told me she killed our comrades.” He leaned back to look me in the face. “Were they close to me?”

            I nodded, not trusting my voice. He didn’t remember Petra, Eld, Gunther, and Auruo, but they had been his squad, his friends. Once he did remember, I was sure he wouldn’t want anything to do with Annie. So maybe it was a good thing that he was lacking those memories for now, because if what she had to say was really that important, then he needed to go see her. That was better done with him not wanting to lash out at her for what she had done in another life.

            “Well,” he said, “we’ll see what she has to say. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious.”

            “So would I.”

            He sat back, looking thoughtful. “You know what I feel like? Hot chocolate. Let’s go get some.”

            I smiled, taking his face in my hands. I pecked his lips. “I love you.”

            He held his hand to his ear. “What did you say? I didn’t quite get that. Say it again.”

            “I love you.” I kissed his cheek. “I love you.” I kissed his other cheek. “I love you.”

            “God, I get it,” he said, grinning. “I love you, too.”

            A high-pitched squeal interrupted us, and we both looked to the right, spotting the responsible party.

            “Repeat everything you just did,” Hanji said, yanking her phone out of her pocket. She held it up. “Go on. I want video footage of this adorableness. I _need_ it. Hurry up!”

            Levi flipped her off. “Did you get that?”

            She pouted. “Levi, come on. I need documentation of things like this. My heart needs it. Are you going to deny my heart of what it needs?”

            “Yes,” he said simply, moving off of me. “Let’s go, Eren.”

            “Where are we going?” Hanji asked, throwing her arms around our shoulders. She had to walk awkwardly in between us since I was taller than her, and Levi was shorter.

            “We’re going to get hot chocolate,” I said.

            She clicked her heels together. “Can I get a donut? I want a donut.”

            I laughed. “Yeah, you can get a donut.”

            Levi looked at her. “Spoiled brat.”

            “Look who’s talking?” She jabbed her finger at his shoulder with every word. “Mr. Hot Chocolate.”

            As they squabbled, I lugged them out of the apartment, toward the parking lot. We were a little ways from my car when Levi suddenly stopped, eyeing the vehicle like it was Disney World, and not just a lump of metal. He glanced up at me with a gleam in his eyes that immediately made me mush. There was no denying that face.

            “Here,” I said, knowing what he wanted. I held out the keys to him.

            He took them from me, practically skipping to the driver’s side. Hanji and I followed after him, getting into the car at the same time.

            After he started up the engine, and backed out of the parking space, Hanji said, “See? Spoiled.”

            He muttered, “Shut up,” under his breath, but it seemed impossible for him to wipe away the smile that had settled on his face. I could stare at it all day. There were no words to describe how it felt to see him like this, so carefree and having fun. There wasn’t enough free time in our other life to do things that we liked, and even if there were, I doubt it would be like this. We always had our problems hanging over our heads.

            I was a little envious that he was already good at driving a stick shift. He was a fast learner. It had only taken him three days to nail it down. Though once Petra found out, she wasn’t happy that I was letting him drive out on the main roads. I wanted to point out to her that I couldn’t deny her son when he gave me the face he had given me earlier, but I probably would have lost some points with her for that one.

            When we finally made it to Krispy Kreme, Hanji was chanting “donuts” in the backseat. As usual, she was the first one out of the car, not waiting a single second for us to catch up to her.

            Once Levi shut off the car, he handed me back my keys, and we got out together, meeting up at the front entrance. I pulled open the door for him, and we stepped inside to see that Hanji was already ordering for us.

            As we came up behind her, she held her hand out to me. “I need the dough,” she said. The cashier gave her an odd look, to which she added, “He’s my sugar daddy.”

            My mouth dropped open.

            Levi smacked her on the back of the head.

            I dug my wallet out of my pocket in a hurry, refusing to make eye contact with the cashier. I pulled out a twenty-dollar bill and handed it to Hanji, taking hold of Levi’s hand right after, leading him to the furthest table from the front counter. I couldn’t get away fast enough.

            After a few minutes, Hanji came up to us with a small box of donuts that acted like a carrying tray for the three hot chocolates she had balanced on top of it. She grabbed hers, taking a sip from it as she sat down next to Levi.

            “Do you have no control over that mouth of yours?” he asked, grabbing the remaining two cups before they toppled over.

            She held up her finger, signaling for him to wait as she lifted up the box lid to grab a glazed donut. She shoved the pastry into her mouth, talking passed it. “None whatsoever.”

            He gave her a disgusted look, which only worsened when she started chewing. "Gross. Don’t chew with your mouth open, you mongrel.”

            She smacked her lips together. “It tastes better this way. Let’s all the flavor into my mouth.”

            “You’re so full of shit,” he said.

            Her response to that was, “Everyone is.”

            His eyes narrowed before he pushed his cup away. “Now I can’t consume anything brown. Are you happy with yourself? Do you feel good now?”

            “How can you say that when you literally talk about shit while sipping your tea?”

            “My tea isn’t brown, is it?”

            I sat back in my seat, picking out a donut from the box. Watching them fight was like watching a soap opera. They were so dramatic sometimes, I had to bite my tongue to keep myself from laughing. They went off about the littlest of things. In fact, the other day, Levi argued with her about the right way to clip your nails, because, according to him, there was a specific angle you had to cut them at.

            I chuckled at the memory, which earned me a stare from the both of them. “Sorry,” I said. “You guys just argue like siblings.”

            Hanji smiled at that. “You hear that Levi? You’re my brother.”

            “You wish.”

            Before I knew it, an hour and a half had passed, and it was time to go meet up with Mikasa, Armin, and Isabel at the ice cream shop. It felt like a huge rock had settled in the pit of my stomach, and I regretted eating anything at all. I wanted to drive home and cuddle up with Levi on the couch, not go and see someone I never thought I’d see again.

            That’s exactly what I had to do, though. 

            All of us remained silent as we got back into my car, and I drove toward Annie’s place of work. None of us could think of anything to say. Our minds were too busy thinking about what would happen within the next couple of hours. What could Annie want with Levi? That was the question, but there was no way of finding out the answer unless I went through with this.

            My mind was a jumble of questions when I pulled up in front of the ice cream shop that was named _Sweeties._ I couldn’t even picture Annie working in there, let alone considering working at a place that had “sweet” in its title. But here it was, and I was hoping—despite the fact that I refused to hope at all—that she was a completely different person in this life.

            All three of us stepped out of the car, and I saw that Armin, Mikasa, and Isabel were already inside. I didn’t have to look too far to spot the head of blonde hair next to them. Beneath that all too familiar bun, was an all too familiar face. Her blue eyes found mine through the windowpane, and I waited to feel anger, but I felt nothing but curiosity.

            “Is that her?” Levi asked beside me.

            “Yeah,” I said, taking his hand. “Come on.”

            The gold bell that hung on the door handle rung out as we went inside the shop. It was small, but extremely tidy, and there was no one here except for our little gang, and Annie. She moved away from Armin and Mikasa when she saw us walk in, padding over to where I stood.          

            “Well,” she said, looking up at me, “you grew.”

            She looked the same, and that was the worst part. She was older than she had been the last time I saw her, but not by much. I was guessing she was eighteen, maybe nineteen, which caught me off guard. I was expecting her to be the same age as me. The fact that she was younger made it all the harder to feel any type of hatred toward her.

            “Yeah,” I said at last. “Can we get this over with?”

            I was surprised to see that she looked hurt at my sharp tone. “Sure.” She regarded Levi. “Still as short as ever, I see.”

            He glared her down. “You suck at first impressions.”

            She shrugged. “I suck at human interaction. Here. Let’s go sit down.” She led us to the biggest table in the shop and we all pulled up chairs to sit around it. Levi sat opposite her, clutching my hand in a near death grip when I took the chair next to his. He was nervous, which in turn made me more nervous than I already was.

            Annie kept looking over at me, an expression I couldn’t decipher on her face. “So, this is strange.”

            “You can say that again,” I mumbled under my breath.

            She ignored my comment. “Mikasa and Armin were the first people I’ve seen from, you know, our other life,” she said, rubbing the back of her neck. “I couldn’t believe it was them, at first. Before that, everything I remembered felt too surreal to believe. Now you’re all sitting here in front of me, and I can't think of what to say.” She looked off to the side, eyebrows knitting together. “I remember what I did back then. I know you all must hate me.”

            Armin took pity on her. “We don’t hate you. This is another time. We’re…” He sighed. “We’re all here to support Levi. I’m sorry if we've overwhelmed you.”

            She laughed, but the sound was filled with sadness. “Ah, Armin. You haven’t changed, have you? Still looking out for people who don’t deserve it.”

            I decided to intervene, not liking where this was going. “Annie, we all just want to know why you wanted to talk to Levi. That’s why we’re here. We aren’t here to reminisce over the past.”

            Her eyes settled on me. “Yeah, okay. Well, like I said, Mikasa and Armin were the first people I’ve seen from the past. That’s not to say that I’m not here to talk about someone else from back then. I am.” She looked over at Levi. “How much do you remember?”

            His grip tightened on my hand. “Not much. I mostly remember the underground city I grew up in. I also remember a lot about Isabel and...” He suddenly looked hurt. “Farlan.”

            Annie’s eyes lit up at his last word. "So you do remember him.”      

            His eyes narrowed. “Why does that concern you? Whether I remember him or not? Do you know him?”

            Isabel spoke up. “If you know where he is, tell us.”

            Instead of giving us an answer, Annie said, “Growing up with all these memories was strange. I thought I was alone in this new life. I thought that being alone with these memories was my punishment for what I had done. I never told anyone of the things I remembered. I kept it bottled up inside, and it ate away at me slowly.” She brushed her bangs aside. “Then one day I slipped up. I couldn’t keep it in anymore, and who would’ve thought that the older brother I confessed to was going through the same thing I was. He remembered that time, too.”

            I put two and two together. “Wait. Farlan is your brother?”

            She nodded. “Yes. The only reason I spoke to Mikasa and Armin was because I wanted to know if they had run into Levi. Farlan talked a lot about him.”

            “Hey,” Isabel said. “What about me? I was part of his life, too.”

            Annie smiled, and I was surprised by it. “Oh, he talks about you, too.”

            “Well, where is he then? Is he here?”

            “Hey, Farlan,” Annie called out. "They remember your sorry ass, so it’s time to make your grand appearance.”

            All of us looked around, our eyes focusing on the double swinging doors toward the back in time for them to open up. A guy I had never seen before stepped through them. He was relatively tall, with dirty-blonde hair and grayish-blue eyes that scanned over each and every one of us. When they settled on Isabel and Levi, he smiled, holding out his arms to either side of him like he knew that Isabel was going to jump up out of her seat and run right into them.

            “Farlan!” she shouted. “You big ugly thing! Why didn’t you find us? You were this close this whole time!” She began to sob, lightly pounding on his chest. He soothed her by rubbing her back.

            I was too caught up on them to notice Levi had stood up beside me. He had a strange look on his face.

            “Hey, Levi,” Farlan said. “What’s this I hear about you being humanity’s strongest? You sucked up to that blonde guy? What was his name? The one with the eyebrows.”

            “Erwin,” Levi supplied, and I stared at him. He hadn’t told me that he remembered about Erwin.

            “Yeah, him.”

            “I didn’t suck up to him.” Levi walked over to him and Isabel, dropping his gaze when he reached them. “I…I’m sorry.”  

            Farlan’s smile never faltered. “Don’t be. We’re here now, and I’ve got to say, it’s good to see you. Though I was hoping you’d be taller this time around.”

            At that, Levi smacked his arm. “I can still take you.”

            “Want to make a bet on that?”

            “Any time, any day.”

            “Boys,” Isabel said, pushing her hands between them. “I can take both of you.”

            Farlan laughed, ruffling her hair. “Course you can. How old are you? You don’t look any older.”

            “Twenty-two.”

            “And you?” He looked at Levi.

            “Fifteen, and don’t you dare laugh.”

            Farlan held his hands up as if at gunpoint. “Why would I laugh? Does it look like I want to start a fight with humanity’s strongest?”         

            “Will you cut it out with that? I didn’t ask for that title. I can’t even remember how I earned it.”

            They went to go sit down at a table, and I was willing to give them all the time they needed to catch up. Levi looked happy sitting with them, like he had done it a thousand times before. It was strange how remembering a past life worked. You could go a whole fifteen years without seeing anyone from your past, and then you ran into someone you remembered, and it was like they never left.

            I sighed, glancing at Annie. She was looking at her brother with a smile on her face. She was different—that smile proved it. She had nothing to hide in this life. There were no secrets. It would be unfair of me to hold what had happened two thousand years ago against her.

            “Are you happy?” I asked her.

            Her eyes darted in my direction. “Yes. And you?” She looked away. “Have you had a better life?”

            “I have.”

            She nodded once. “I’m glad.”

            “Did you have a good reason?” I didn’t need to explain myself for her to understand my question. She knew what I was referring to.

            “Yes.”

            “I won’t hold it against you anymore,” I said. “That life is over, and I’ve found all the important people from back then in this time.”

            She looked at me for a long time before she whispered, “Thank you.”

            Life was strange. It was moments like these that I realized I had been holding onto who I had been—the boy who spoke without thinking, and acted on impulse. The boy who watched his mother die at the hands of a titan. The boy who vowed to kill them all. But this Eren, sitting here at an ice cream shop, hadn’t witnessed any of the devastation caused by them. This Eren was happy.

            I glanced around and looked at all the faces from the past, faces that were the same, yet different. Maybe it was time that I let go of the past. After all, I truly had found all the important people from back then—aside from my mom. If she was somewhere out there, I hoped that she didn’t possess her memories. I hoped that she had experienced nothing but happiness.

            “Eren,” Levi called, waving me over. “Come here.” I stood up and walked up to where they sat. “This is him.”

            Farlan reached out a hand to me. I took it, and we shook hands. “It’s nice to meet the guy that can get Levi blushing like a schoolgirl.”

            “Don’t tell him that,” Levi hissed.

            I grinned. “It’s nice to meet you, too.”

            I sat down next to Levi, wrapping my arm around his waist, feeling him snuggle up against my side.

            _This is what happiness feels like._  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roll credits. That's it, folks. That's the end of Our Cryptic Love… I'm kidding! I want to write about our trio from A Choice With No Regrets. How could I not?? 
> 
> So, what did you guys think? Were any of you expecting that? Probably not. I pulled a sly one on you guys. :)
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading, and keeping to this fic. You guys are all amazing, and I truly appreciate all the comments, kudos, and subscriptions. ❤


	20. Differences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally wrote this chapter on my phone. AH!
> 
> Sorry for not replying to your comments, I've been SO busy due to the holiday season. I read them all, though, and I love each and every one of you. <3
> 
> Now go on and reaaaad! :D

I first noticed something was wrong with Levi when he showed up at my apartment with bags under his eyes. He claimed that finals were taking their toll on him, and like the idiot I was, I bought it. It took him nearly collapsing from exhaustion for me to see passed the lie.

            There was something seriously wrong. Something he wasn’t willing to share with anyone.

            I had a feeling I knew what that something might be.

            When I first started regaining my memories, they started off as regular nightmares. It took a while for them to come in the form of flashbacks, and vivid nightmares. That’s what was happening to Levi now. _That’s_ what was taking its toll on him, and judging by the deep, bruise-like circles beneath his eyes, he hadn’t slept in a good while.

            Hanji and I tried to talk him through it, but there was no getting to him. When it came to this, no matter how many times I assured him I was here, I knew he had to face it alone. None of us could experience what he was reliving in his mind. Therefore, all I could do was sit there and watch him suffer in silence.

            Today Levi hadn’t come over. According to Hanji, he had left school early, as well. I didn’t know which memories were resurfacing, but from the way he was acting, I would guess that they weren’t good ones.

            Around midnight, I decided to give up on trying to finish up the game review that was due by tomorrow. It was pointless. My mind couldn’t focus on anything, let alone a stupid game that had so many glitches, it should be considered a crime. Seriously, I couldn’t even make it passed the first mission without my player’s arm magically disappearing.

            Come on.

            After I shut off the PS4 system, I walked to my bedroom, stripping off my shirt. The lazy part of me was in full swing, because I didn’t even want to take the time to change into a pair of pajama bottoms, so I just kicked off my jeans and lay in bed in nothing but my boxers.

            I was drifting off when I heard someone knocking on the front door. Who in the hell could be here this late?

            Muttering a curse, I got out of bed, not bothering to put my clothes back on. Whoever it was, they were going to get an eyeful of my good ole flaming red boxer-briefs—not to mention my long chicken legs. They could have that, too.

            When I reached the front door, I yanked it open, all the smart remarks I had planned to say dying away on my lips. Levi was standing on the front porch, drenched and shivering. It had rained about an hour ago, which meant he had been out for a while now.

            “Get in here,” I said, pulling him inside. I dragged him into my bedroom, leaving him by my bed as I went to go get a towel.

            Towel in hand, I went back out to where he stood. I dried off his hair as best I could. Then I instructed him to lift up his arms, so I could take off his soaking wet shirt. I chucked it into the dirty clothes hamper, turning back around to unfasten the button of his jeans.

            “What were you thinking?” I asked as I pulled down his pants, trying to dry him up along the way. “Why didn’t you call me? I would have come and picked you up.”

            He shook his head, teeth clattering together. “I n-needed t-time to think.”

            “You’re going to get a cold now.” I peeled off his boxers, standing back up to point to my bathroom. “Get in there. You need to warm up.”

            I followed after him, crouching by the tub to plug the drain. I turned on the hot water tap, adjusting the temperature until it was a little above lukewarm. Then I turned around to face him, searching his eyes for any kind of answer as to why he felt the need to walk all the way over to my apartment while it was raining.

            “I’m fine,” he said when he caught me staring. He stepped into the tub, slinking down into the water.

            “You’re not fine.”

            He sighed, leaning back so everything but the top half of his head was submerged. “I remembered something that really bothered me. That’s all.”

            I got to my knees, shutting off the water before I looked over at him. “Want to tell me about it?”

            “Not really,” he said, a pained expression contorting his face. “Can you just… Come in here with me.”

            Whatever it was he remembered, it was obvious he wasn’t going to share it with me. The next best thing I could do was to be there for him. So I got to my feet, slipping off my boxers before I climbed in next to him.

            He immediately wrapped his arms around me, holding onto me as though he was afraid I would disappear into thin air. I pulled him into my lap, running my hands up his back to the nape of his neck. The stubble of his shorter hair glided across the pads of my fingers until I took hold of the longer locks.

            “Why are you so afraid to tell me what you’re remembering?” I said. “I lived in that time, too. I witnessed awful things… _did_ awful things. Let me in.”

            Levi shook in my arms, nails digging into the skin of my upper back. “You moron,” he muttered. “You stupid idiot.”

            I leaned back, looking him in the eyes. “What did you remember?”

            He turned his head to the side, wiping at his cheeks with the back of his hand. “I remembered your death.”

            There were a lot of things I had been expecting him to remember, but that was not one of them. I couldn’t recall the way I had died, and Hanji, who lived after me, hadn’t told me—neither had Mikasa or Armin. It must’ve been pretty bad for them to keep it from me.

            “You never _listen,_ ” Levi said, smacking my chest in anger. “If you would’ve listened to me, you wouldn’t have…” He bit down on his bottom lip, tears welling up in his eyes. “You left me. You promised you wouldn’t leave me, and then you went and got yourself killed. All because you wanted to save _me_.”

            So I had given up my life for his? That didn’t even surprise me. I could see myself throwing caution into the wind to save him. It didn’t even upset me, but obviously I wasn’t the one that had to live without him. He had been the one that had to go on without me.

            “Hey,” I said, grabbing him by the chin to make him look at me. “That’s done and over with. If I died for you, then I didn’t die for nothing.”

            He gritted his teeth. “Dumbass.”

            “But I’m your dumbass.”

            He let out a breathy chuckle, dropping his head on my shoulder. “It was horrible watching you die. I couldn’t do a damn thing. By the time I reached you, it was too late. All the vibrancy in your eyes was gone. Like they had been drained of color.” He gripped onto my shoulders. “I never want to see that again.”

            “You won’t have to. Not unless I’m a total dip shit, and I get into a car accident, but even then, I’m sure my body would be taken to the morgue before you even get there.” He pinched my nipple. “Ow!” I smacked his hand. “That hurt!”

            “I wanted it to,” he said. “Stop talking nonsense. I already lost you once. If you make me go through that again, _I’ll_ kill you.”

            “But I’ll already be dead.”

            “You…” He reached for my other nipple, but I grabbed his hand in time to block him. We went back and forth for a while, and then he looked up at me with a serious expression. “Who knew that I, the supposed ‘humanity’s strongest’, could be rendered useless by the absence of a stupid, overly annoying brat.”

            “I knew all along,” I teased. “I had you wrapped around my finger.”

            He didn’t laugh like I was expecting him to, instead looking at me as if I wasn’t really there. He ran his hands up my chest, eyes marveling with wonder.

            “I remember your body from back then,” he said, tracing an area around my arm where I once had a deep gash before it healed itself. “So many painful wounds you endured. Yet your body was spotless, like you never went through any of it. Now”—he traced a scar that was on my shoulder—“you’re human. No more self-healing. No more shifting.”

            “Levi—”

            “We lived through some horrible things, didn’t we?” His eyes roamed over my body. “I hated being responsible for so many lives. I hated watching them die under my order. I hated a lot of things, Eren, but you… When I was with you, everything was okay.”

            “We don’t have to live through those horrible things anymore. There are no more walls caging us in. We’re free of them.”

            He looked up at me. “Finally free. Free to choose who we want to be.”

            “That’s right.”

            “I’m not the same as I was.”

            “None of us are,” I said.

            “Do you miss who I used to be?”

            I cupped his face. “Do I miss you barking orders at me, and making shit jokes?” I laughed. “I’ll always miss Corporal Levi, but that doesn’t mean that I love you any less. You’re still him. You’re who he would’ve been without a world infested with titans.”

            He smiled crookedly, pointing his finger at me. “I still make shit jokes, you ass. Now let’s get out of this water. It’s cold.”

            After we toweled off, we went back out to my room, curling up in bed. Levi threw the comforter over our heads, forming our own personal cocoon. I could only make out the outline of his body, the rest obscured by darkness.

            “Do you think,” Levi whispered as his fingers trailed over my hipbone, “that we’ll live again after this life?”

            “I’m not sure.”

            “If we do, I hope I find you again.”

            My lips ghosted over his, barely touching. “Love never dies, so we’ll find each other again. I believe that.”

            We kissed, softly, taking the time to memorize each other’s differences in this life. I grazed Levi’s jaw, fingers wrapping around the back of his head to pull him closer. We weren’t who we were, but the love that we had for one another still lived on.

            He grabbed my hand, moving it between his thighs. I touched the soft, smooth skin there, feeling him move over me. He reached over to pull the drawer to my nightstand open, moving things aside until he found the small bottle of lube.

            After popping open the lid, he poured some onto my fingers. I wove my hand around his back, running it up the cleft of his ass before I brushed his entrance. Concentrating on his face, I slipped one digit inside him, feeling tight heat surround my finger.

            Placing his hands on my shoulders, Levi propped himself up, rolling his hips back. His face was illuminated by the moonlight filtering in through the window, outlining him in a silver glow. I kept my eyes trained on his face as I worked a second finger into him, moving them over that sensitive part inside.

            His entire body shook, nails biting into my skin, head tipping back as I kept moving my fingers over that spot. I watched him carefully, taking in every reaction, every moan and movement of his body in response to my actions. Everything he did sent a shock straight to my groin.

            He locked eyes with me, his hand snaking around his back to grab the base of my cock. He leaned forward, lining me up with his entrance before slowly moving back, eliciting a sharp groan from my throat as he sank down onto me.

            Fuck, he was painfully tight. He hadn’t grabbed a condom, and I could feel _everything._

            Once I was fully inside him, I placed my hands on either side of his waist, giving a hard thrust of my hips. He let out a loud whine, flattening his palms on my stomach to steady himself. This was new, too—him bottoming. I wanted to prove that this was a different life, that we weren’t the same. That _I_ wasn’t the same.

            “You like that, don’t you?” I threw my hips up into him again, meeting the same response. “Having my dick inside you.” His head fell forward, hair hanging in his eyes as he looked at me. I thrust up, slamming him down onto me at the same time.

            “Oh, _fuck!_ ” he yelped.

            I slid my hands around to his back, moving down to grab his ass cheeks. “Ride me. Fuck yourself on my cock.”

            He lifted himself up, pushing down forcefully, back arching as he cried out. God, I loved the way he sounded, loved the way he felt—so hot and tight around me. I looked up at him with pathetic admiration as he set a steady pace, whining my name when I angled my hips up to meet him halfway.

            When I hit his prostate, he crumpled forward, mouth falling open on an incoherent moan. I took hold of his hips, thrusting into that spot again, feeling him shake around me. I did it again and again, listening to the strained sounds he was making that were pushing me toward my breaking point.

            I sat up, flipping him around onto his back. Hooking his legs over my arms, I set an almost brutal pace, lost in the sight of him beneath me. He met me thrust for thrust, soft-pink lips parted, eyes squeezed tightly shut. I hitched his left leg over my shoulder, instantly rewarded with a high-pitched moan.

            “Yes!” Levi cried. “Right there!”

            I gripped his hips, pulling him down onto me as I plunged forward. He was practically screaming at this point, arms thrown over his face to muffle the harsh cries that were being torn from his throat.

            “Ah!” I trembled with intense pleasure as he rocked his hips. “Don’t cover your mouth… I want to hear you.”

            He gazed up at me, black hair clinging to his forehead. He slid his hand down his stomach until he was gripping the base of his cock, whimpering with relief when he started stroking himself with a feverish tempo.

            The pressure building in my groin was almost too much, and I leaned down to press heated kisses along Levi’s neck, sucking and scraping my teeth against the skin there. With his free hand, he slipped his fingers into my hair, yanking my head up to lick a trail to my lips. I moaned into his mouth, our tongues tangling together.

            “Shit,” he hissed, head kicking back. “I-I’m going to come.”

            His walls spasm around me, and I cursed under my breath, trying to maintain the same rhythm as he came on a shout. It wasn’t until he sank back onto the bed that I went to pull out, but he was quick to wrap his legs around my waist.

            “I want to feel you come inside me,” he said.

            That’s all it took for me to reach my peak, making the most embarrassing noises as I rode out my orgasm, feeling myself spilling into him. When I was spent, I pulled out, watching my come trickle down his thighs.

            “You’re so goddamn sexy,” I said, placing open-mouthed kisses along his sweat-dampened collarbone.

            Both his hands combed through my hair. “I think we may have woken Armin up.”

            I glanced back at the door, listening for any indication that Armin was awake. I heard movement somewhere out in the living room. “Well, that’s a conversation I don’t want to have.”

            He giggled— _giggled!_ It was the sweetest sound. “Hopefully my mom doesn’t wake up. I left her a half-assed note telling her I needed to go out for a walk. If she wakes up to find me still gone, she’ll probably have a damn heart attack.”

            “Let’s get cleaned up and I’ll take you home before she notices you’re gone.”

            After we cleaned ourselves off in the bathroom, we ventured out of my room to find Armin drinking a cup of coffee in the kitchen. He peered up at us, blushing crimson.

            “H-Hey,” he said to us, setting his mug down on the kitchen island. “Uh…”

            “I’m just taking Levi home,” I offered, hoping to cut through this awkwardness. How much had he heard? We were pretty loud… Oh, God!

            He nodded almost frantically. “Okay. I’ll see you when you get back.” With that, he picked up his mug and left us alone.

            When he was out of earshot, I said, “Wow.”

            Levi surprised me by laughing. “He hasn’t changed in that department. Do you remember when he caught us in the shower room? He couldn’t look at us for a month straight.”

            The images that came with the memory of how Levi had fucked me up against the wall in the shower room had me pining for a do over. Jesus, he had been something else. He hadn’t even cared that someone could walk in at anytime, which was exactly what had happened.

            “You were an animal,” I said.

            He rolled his eyes. “Don’t act like you didn’t like it. I made you come twice.”

            “Because you _insisted_ on fucking me twice.”

            “You didn’t even put up a fight,” he drawled. “You wanted my dick.”

            I shoved his shoulder. “Oh, well now it looks like the tables have turned.”

            “Really?” He raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying that you don’t want me to ever bend you over and fuck you hard?”

            I stared at him for half a second. “You cocky asshole.”

            He grinned. “That’s what I thought. Now take me home. I have an odd suspicion that my mom is minutes away from waking up.”

            We walked out of my apartment to my car, getting into it. I turned on the engine, immediately putting the heater on full blast. It was colder than a witch’s tit, and I hadn’t grabbed a jacket.

            Levi pressed his hands to the vents, glaring at me as though it were my fault that the temperature had dropped. He lifted his legs up to his chest, suddenly looking uncomfortable, thoughtful.

            “What is it?” I asked.

            “Erwin wants to meet up with me today. I didn’t know if you’d be all right with that. I mean, he’s been an ass.”

            I couldn’t even deny that Erwin made me uneasy. It wasn’t because of the fact that he liked Levi intimately. It was because he didn’t like me one bit. I didn’t know what he was capable of. The way his head worked made me think of the things he could do that could ruin my relationship with Levi.

            “Do you want to see him?” I asked, keeping my eyes locked on the road ahead.

            He sighed. “I remembered a lot about him from our past life, so yeah, I suppose I do. I don’t want to keep things bad between the two of us. He was a good friend before he decided to be a little shit.”

            “Then go see him.” The instant the words were out of my mouth, I wished I could rewind time. But I didn’t have the right to keep him from his friend. That wasn’t my place. Still, I couldn’t get this nagging feeling to go away when it came to Erwin.

            Levi put his hand over mine. “Thank you.”

            “Don’t thank me. He’s your friend. You have every right to go and see him, if you want to.”

            “I guess I do,” he said, “But I wouldn’t have gone, if you wouldn’t have been all right with it. You mean more to me than he does.” I smiled at that, puffing out my chest. “Oh, wipe that smile off your face.”

            I gave him a sidelong glance. “When are you going to see him?”

            “In the afternoon. We haven’t set up a specific time yet.” The smile faded from my face. “Don’t look like that, Eren. He just wants to talk, and believe me when I say he’s no threat to you.”

            As I turned onto his street, I couldn’t help but feel that Erwin wasn’t going to be all right with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprisingly, smut is a lot easier to write when I know you guys aren't expecting it. I thought I'd throw that in there since angst will ensue in the following chapters. Yes, it's heading our way. I apologize in advance. :(
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, commenting, and leaving me kudos. You guys are so lovely. I don't deserve you!! 
> 
> P.S. Don't have unprotected sex!! Haha. I'm sure you know some of the consequences of that, but this is a fic, and yeah. xD Love yooooou.
> 
> Side note: After reading the first few comments on here, I felt the need to remind everyone that Erwin is in fact 17 years old in my fic. He has absolutely no recollection that he was once Commander Smith, therefore he acts just like any other 17 year old. He has no intentions on physically harming Levi. I had to point that out, because a lot of you seem to think he's going to cause some type of physical harm to him, and that's just not the case. Okay? So rest assured that our short baby isn't going to get a pounding, or raped (yes, someone thought this).


	21. Decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what to say right now. This chapter was so hard to write, but I want you to keep in mind that this is all necessary for the plot, okay? Also, this doesn't mark the end of that fic, so also keep that in mind as you're reading. I love you all. Please don't hate me for this. (ू˃̣̣̣̣̣̣o˂̣̣̣̣̣̣ ू)
> 
> This chapter is in Levi's POV. It had to be. I wanted this to be viewed through his eyes, and not Eren's. 
> 
> Now go and read. :(

_Levi_

 

Even after going to see Eren last night, I still couldn’t get any sleep. Every time I shut my eyes, I saw him lying there, dead and cold. That was the last thing I ever wanted to see, so I lie awake on my bed, staring up at the ceiling until the alarm on my cell phone went off at seven in the morning.

            I left the house before my mom could get a good look at me. Then I waited outside on the sidewalk for Hanji, keeping an eye out for her mom’s champagne Cadillac DTS. When I spotted it coming down my street, I grabbed the strap of my messenger bag, slinging it over my shoulder.

            The car rolled up to the curb, and I pulled open the back door, stepping inside. I ignored Hanji’s probing gaze, and gave a greeting to her mom before I turned my head to stare out the window. Today was going to be a long one. I could already feel it. It didn’t help that the only thing I was capable of thinking of happened over two thousand years ago.

            Once we got to the horrible building known as Red Mountain High, I clambered out of the car, stumbling before I regained my balance. Hanji was quick to grab my arm, looking at me in concern. I waved her off, not needing her to give me another lecture about getting the proper amount of sleep. It wasn’t like I didn’t want to sleep. It was that I _couldn’t_ sleep.

            We walked to the math building, and I kept my eyes focused in front of me. My head was throbbing. Just the thought of going through the rest of the day made me uneasy. The fact that I was going to see Joe right after school had me regretting making plans with him. All I wanted was to go see Eren, to lie in his arms and forget about everything but the feel of him next to me.

            “Hey,” Hanji said, grabbing my arm, stopping me from colliding with a person in front of us. “Are you okay?”

            I sighed, rubbing my temples. “Don’t ask such a stupid question.”

            She pulled me into a hug, grabbing the back of my head to force it down onto her shoulder. “It’ll all be okay. I promise it gets better. You’re just going through the really tough phase right now.”

            I was far too tired to lean back, so I just let her cradle me against her. “I know.”

            “Don’t try to bear this on your own. I’m here. If you need to vent, I’ll let you talk my ear off. If you’re tired, we could always ditch, so you could catch a nap. Just…let me be there for you.”

            Damn, sometimes I forgot just how good a friend Hanji was to me. I surprised her by wrapping my arms around her waist. “Thank you.”

            “For what? You know I love you, right? You’re my short baby. We’ll be friends forever.”

            “Yeah. Now let’s go to class. The bell just rang.”

            The rest of the school day dragged on. It was hard for me to pay attention to anything that my teachers were saying. Most of the time, I found myself drifting off. The second I did, though, my mind would be filled with images of another time, and I’d snap back to reality, breathing hard. Was this what Hanji and Eren had already gone through?

            When the bell rang for my sixth period to release, I bolted out of the classroom, weaving passed students and making my way to Hanji’s last class. She was already waiting for me when I reached her. I grabbed her by the arm, steering her out to the parking lot. I needed her around. I couldn’t face Joe—Erwin—alone.

            I didn’t even have to tell her this, because the moment she saw him walking toward us, she wrapped her arm around my shoulders protectively. There were a lot of things I wanted to resolve with Erwin, but I would settle for us being on good terms by the end of today. If that happened, I’d be gaining a friend back. Though he didn’t remember, I still wanted him in my life.

            “Hey guys,” he said when he reached us. His eyes narrowed as he observed my face. “You look tired. Having trouble sleeping?” There was an undertone in his voice that alerted me that he was blaming the bags under my eyes on someone other than myself.

            “Finals.” I shrugged, hoping he’d take the bait, but his eyes only narrowed further.

            “Do you need any help? I could always help you study.”

            “Nah,” I said. “I’ve got it under control. Let’s just get out of here, yeah? Didn’t you want to go to that new bookstore out on Warner?”

            He nodded, face serious. “Yeah. My favorite author’s latest book came out today.”

            “Let’s head out then.” I started walking toward his beat-up Toyota Camry, wondering what Eren was doing. I hadn’t texted him all day. Whenever I saw his name pop up on my phone screen, the images of him from another time came whirling to the forefront of my mind.

            Hanji followed after me, throwing her arms around my neck, hopping like a damn rabbit behind me. “Give me a piggy-back ride!”

            “I’m tired as hell,” I said.

            “Come oooon. Do it ‘cause you love me.”

            I rolled my eyes, catching her legs in my arms when she jumped up. She was practically strangling me with her grip around my neck. “Loosen your arms up, dammit.”

            She slackened her hold, squealing bloody murder into my ear. “Mush, short baby! Mush!”

            “I will drop you on your ass so fast...”

            “No you won’t,” she said. “I’m too precious to you.”

            I ignored her, nearly dropping her when she started to bounce up and down like I was a horse. Once I reached Erwin’s car, I let go of her legs, rubbing at my neck as I glared at her. But, as usual, she just smiled at me, sliding her thumbs under the straps of her overalls.

            When Erwin unlocked the car doors, I went to go sit in the back, but Hanji beat me to it, pointing to the front seat. Knowing she did that on purpose irritated me to no end. I didn’t want to sit up front, which she knew damn well. Things between Erwin and I had been awkward since IHOP, and I didn’t know how today was going to turn out.

            Sitting down in the front seat, I reached for my phone, using it as a distraction. After I unlocked the screen, I saw I had received a picture message from Eren. I opened it up, smiling when I saw a photo of him scrunched between Isabel and Farlan. They wanted to get to know him, so had taken him out today. Isabel was pulling her mouth to either side, crossing her eyes, while Eren was sticking his tongue out at Farlan, who was smiling at him.

            I saved it. It was too cute not to.

            “So,” Erwin said, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. “How’ve you been? You don’t look so hot lately.”

            Of course he had taken notice of the bags beneath my eyes. I tried to act casual as I tucked my phone back into my pocket, staring up at the road. “Everything’s fine.”

            He huffed. “Do you honestly expect me to believe that? You look like you haven’t slept in days, and you’ve been skipping a lot of classes.” He gave me a sideways glance. “Are you going to tack that up to being worried about the finals, as well?”

            So now he was keeping track of me? Who the fuck did he think he was?

            “Frankly, it’s none of your damn business,” I said, angry.

            “So now I’m not allowed to be concerned about you? Is that what it has come down to, Levi?”

            I sighed, not liking how this conversation was going. How could I explain to him what was happening without telling him the truth? Shit, if this kept up, I’d tell him all about his days as Commander Smith. Maybe that would spark some type of memory up in that brain of his.

            “That’s not what I’m saying.” I leaned my head back, ignoring the pounding headache settling in. “There’s just a lot happening right now, but everything _will_ be fine. You don’t have to worry about me.”

            He glanced over at me. “That’s easier said than done.”

            The rest of the drive was spent in silence. This wasn’t turning out how I expected it to. I wanted things to fall back into place, for us to be friends like we once were. But all the things that I was remembering kept preventing me from seeing him in the same light. Plus, keeping secrets always put a strain on any type of relationship.

            There were so many thoughts going through my head at once, that when he parked in front of the bookstore, I sat there for a number of minutes until Hanji dragged me out of the car. She kept a tight hold on my arm as we walked up to the front entrance, and I was grateful for it. These last couple of days had been hard on me. I needed one night of dreamless sleep—no nightmares of a past I could no longer change.

            Inside, Erwin walked straight up to the new releases, picking up a thick hardcover book, flipping it every which way.

            “This is it,” he said.

            “That looks thicker than the bible,” I informed him.

            He laughed. “That’s how I like them.”

            Hanji suddenly let out an ear-splitting screech. “Look!” She pointed to the children’s section. “They're having story time. I’m going.” She ran up to the group of kids, sinking down to sit cross-legged amongst them. The lady reading the book gave her a strange look, but continued reading with a pleasant smile on her face.

            “Hey,” Erwin said. “Let’s go grab a seat.”

            We walked over to a small sitting area in the Young Adults section. Erwin set his black backpack down on the table, unzipping it to pull out a Calculus textbook. He opened it up to a page he had bookmarked.

            I took the seat opposite his, taking off my messenger bag and putting it down at my feet. I couldn’t think of a single thing to say, so I just sat there and stared off into the distance.

            “How are you and Eren?” Erwin asked, breaking the silence.

            My eyes snapped back over to him. “Good.”

            “Is that so?” He flipped a page, scribbling something down in his notebook. “Is that why you’ve looked like hell since you started dating him?”

            I gritted my teeth, keeping the anger at bay. I wasn’t going to let him get to me. “The way I look has nothing to do with Eren. Don’t bring him into this.”

            He glanced up at me, resting his elbows on the table. “Why are you distancing yourself from me? I tried to be there for you when you said Eren had been keeping something from you, and now you’re looking the way you do, and you’re ignoring my calls. What is going on, Levi?”

            I could’ve told him everything, but I wasn’t ready to. There were still a lot of things I wasn’t sure about, things that I hadn’t remembered yet. Right now, I needed to focus on getting passed this so-called “tough phase” of remembering a past life. Telling him about all this wouldn’t help in that department, because he would find a way to blame it on Eren. He probably wouldn’t believe me, either.

            “Nothing is going on,” I snapped. “Why do you insist on thinking that there’s something going on?”

            “Why?” He looked at me in disbelief. “Are you seriously going to pull that with me? You failed your English mid-term. You’ve ditched for the past week, and you look like you desperately need a good night’s sleep. What am I supposed to think? This has something to do with Eren. You can try to act like it doesn’t, but I know it does.”

            I leaned away from him, bracing my hands against the table. “There are a lot of things you don’t know. Stop jumping to conclusions without all the facts.”

            “Then tell me all the facts! You don’t even talk to me anymore.”

            “Why should I explain anything to you? I don’t need your approval for anything. If I haven’t filled you in, it’s because I don’t want to.”

            We glared at each other for a long while before he muttered, “I know you have your mom’s approval to be with Eren, but that doesn’t make this relationship between you and him any less illegal.”

            I took a deep breath in, startled. “What are you trying to say?”

            “I’m saying that if you keep showing up to school looking the way you have, then I’m going to take things into my own hands. If I have to go speak to Eren myself, I will. There’s something going on here, and whatever that is, it’s hurting you.”

            I stared at him, not knowing how to come to terms with what he had just said. My bottom lip quivered when I whispered, “Are you threatening to contact the police on Eren if I don’t tell you what’s going on?”

            “No. I’m saying I _will_ call the police if he keeps on hurting you.”

            “He’s not hurting me! He’d never hurt me.”

            “Oh? Then why is he going out with you in the first place? What he’s doing is wrong. He’s way too old for you. Maybe that’s what’s making you look the way you do. Maybe you can’t keep up with having an older boyfriend.”

            This wasn’t happening. This outing wasn’t supposed to be anything about my relationship with Eren. It was supposed to be spent trying to mend our friendship, and now he was throwing this bullshit in my face. Would he really call the police on Eren?

            I knew he would.

            I clenched my hands into fists, looking down at my feet. “If you care about me at all, you won’t do anything stupid. I’m telling the truth when I say Eren has nothing to do with why I’m losing sleep.” 

            “I don’t believe that for one second.”

            I pushed my seat back, standing up. “Fuck you, Joe! You don’t know a damn thing.” I had to get out of there, or I was going to punch him in the face. He wasn’t worth my time. If this was how he wanted to be, then I was through with him. He was never going to believe that this had nothing to do with Eren. He just wanted some excuse to tear us apart.

            Picking up my bag, I darted towards the children’s section. Hanji was still sitting there, and I was getting ready to call out to her when someone grabbed me by the arm. I whirled around, snatching my arm back.

            “Don’t fucking touch me,” I spat.

            Erwin sighed, holding his hands up. “Levi, I don’t want our friendship to come to an end. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come to this. I’m just concerned about you. I want to help you.”

            “You can help me by staying out of my life.”

            He winced as though my words pained him. “I won’t do anything irrational.”

            “I don’t believe you,” I said. “You don’t even know Eren, yet you’d be willing to ruin his life. You don’t understand _anything_. None of this is what it looks like from the outside. There’s more to it than you know.”

            “More that you’re not willing to share with me?”

            “I wasn’t ready to yet, and now I’ll never be.”

            Hanji suddenly stepped up to us, taking one look at me before turning on Erwin. “What did you do to him?!”

            “I didn’t do anything to him.”

            “Liar,” she bit out. “We’re leaving. Come on, Levi.”

            Erwin reached out, grabbing me by the shoulder. “At least let me drive you home.”

            Hanji shoved his hand off me. “No. We’ll call Eren to come pick us up.”

            He visibly flinched at the sound of Eren’s name before his face settled into a semblance of nonchalance. Crossing his arms over his chest, he stepped away from us. “Fine. I was only trying to help. But I see that you two don’t want to let me in on anything, so I’ll take the hint and leave you alone.”

            Why? Why did he have to threaten Eren? If he wouldn’t have, things could’ve been all right. But he was willing to hurt the one person that I couldn’t stand the thought of losing. How could I sit here and listen to him when I knew that he’d always hold a grudge against Eren?

            I took Hanji’s hand, shaking. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

            She nodded, leading us out of the bookstore. I refused to look back, to see what type of expression Erwin wore. He had said the one thing that I wouldn’t tolerate.

            The more space was put between us, the better I felt. I knew it was only a brief relief I was feeling. Erwin would still keep track of me, and if he saw that I wasn’t getting any better, would he do what he said he’d do? I couldn’t even bear the thought of Eren going to jail because of me. If I hadn’t been so damn persistent, this wouldn’t be happening right now.

            When we were a good ways from the bookstore, Hanji stopped to look at me, rubbing at my arms. “What did he say? Do I need to hurt him?”

            Everything that had just happened, mixed with the lack of sleep, made something in me snap. I sunk down to the ground, Hanji following after me. I clung onto her, sobbing against her shoulder. Why did this have to be so hard? Why were Eren and I always faced with things that could tear us apart?

            “Shh, it’s okay,” Hanji soothed, holding me against her.

            I shook my head. “It’s not okay. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

            “What did that bastard say to you?”

            I squeezed my eyes shut. “He said that he’d call the cops on Eren if I keep showing up to school like I have. Why would he do that to me? Why would he hurt me that way?” I started to cry in earnest, my shoulders shaking. “I love Eren so much, Hanji. What if…” I couldn’t finish the sentence, the thought of Eren being torn away from me too painful. “I can’t lose him again. I can’t.”

            “You won’t.”

            I grabbed handfuls of her shirt. “You know Erwin. You know he won’t let this go. And if I tell him the truth, he won’t believe me. That will just make things worse. I only have one option.”

            She leaned back to look me in the face. “What are you talking about? Please don’t tell me you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking.”

            I didn’t answer her, instead getting to my feet. Wiping away the tears on my cheeks, I said, “Wait for me here,” before I walked back to the bookstore. I knew Erwin would still be there, and that bastard was going to listen to what I had to say.

            Stepping into the store, I made my way to the Young Adults section. Erwin was still sitting at the table from earlier, eyes locked on nothing in particular. When I reached him, he looked up at me, mouth falling open to say something, but I didn’t give him the chance. I didn’t want to hear anything he had to say.

            “Give me until after Christmas,” I said.

            He looked confused. “What?”

            I gripped the edge of the table, trying to stay strong when all of me was threatening to break under the pressure. “I’ll end things with him after Christmas.”

            “Levi—”

            “Don’t say anything. We both know that you won’t let this go. I won’t have him going to jail because of me.” I forced myself to lock eyes with him. “Do we have an understanding?”

            This was his chance to take it all back. He could say that he would never call the cops. But I knew better, so it didn’t surprise me when he said, “Yes, we have an understanding.”

            I nodded once, turning away from him, but before I could leave, there was one more thing I had to say. “We’re done, Joe. Don’t consider me your friend. I never want to see your face again.” Then I made my escape, running on legs that weren’t strong enough to hold me up anymore. I made it as far as the back of the store before I fell onto my hands and knees. I stared at the sidewalk, at the various footprints and black spots, and then I couldn’t see anything at all as I screamed out at the top of my lungs.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry. OMG! If this wasn't necessary, I wouldn't have written it, but you have to understand that Erwin was a threat, and I had to acknowledge that. Just remember that this isn't the end of the fic, okay? 
> 
> Next chapter will be bittersweet. It will be the Christmas special, sooo hopefully it'll mend your little hearts for a while. *walks away with a broken heart*
> 
> P.S. Please don't send me hate. I can feel it coming on, and I really can't deal with that, so don't do it… *gives you a pleading look* Okay? Okay. Love you.


	22. Eternity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sobbing. It hurts. Someone hold me. (╥﹏╥)
> 
> I can't say anymore. Words are failing me. Bye. Go read… *sobs*
> 
> (Remember that Eren's birth name is Michael, and Armin's is Arnold) :)

Two hours before I had to be at Levi’s house, I was sitting amongst a pile of wrapping paper in the middle of my living room floor. I had given up any pretenses on wrapping nice, and was just approaching things with the intention of covering the damn present so nothing was visible. Needless to say, it looked like shit, but I gained consolation by remembering that it was going to be torn open, anyway.

            After I wrapped—more like threw wrapping paper onto it and taped the monstrosity up—the last gift, I sprang to my feet, dashing into my room. I undressed faster than I could even comprehend, chucking my clothes in the general direction of the hamper. In nothing but my boxers, I shoved open my sliding closet door, yanking down a gray button-down shirt and black slacks. I wasn’t one for dressing up, but I was going to be meeting some of Levi’s family for the first time, so this was one of those times that called for an exception to my usual preference for dressing casual.

            Slipping on dress shoes, I made my way into the bathroom, taking one glance at my reflection to know that trying to fix my hair was impossible. It always stood up every which way, even if I combed it. I had this stubborn tuft of hair that stood up at the back of my head. Even with hair-products, that baby wasn’t going to be managed.

            I was in the middle of gathering up the gifts when I heard my ringtone. I sighed, putting the gifts back down to grab my phone from off the coffee table. It was my mom.

            “Hey,” I answered. Her and my dad had gone to California for the winter, and she was now in her I-left-my-only-baby phase.

            “Hi. How’s my baby boy? I miss you.”

            I snuggled my phone against my shoulder and face, needing both my hands. “I miss you, too, and I’m good. How about you? You better be enjoying yourself, and not worrying about me, because I’m fine.”

            “How am I supposed to be enjoying myself when it’s Christmas, and I’m hundreds of miles away from my baby? I should’ve flown back for the holidays.”

            “Mom,” I said, coaxing the gifts to lie flat in my arms. “Please stop worrying. I want you to have fun. This is the time in your life when you’re supposed to be relaxing and enjoying yourself with dad—not worrying about your twenty-four year old son.”

            “Michael, you could be sixty, and I’d still worry about you. At least tell me you’re going over to Arnold’s house today.”

            This was the part where I finally told my mom that I wasn’t single anymore, and that I wouldn’t be spending Christmas with my best friend, but with my boyfriend. There was no proper way to begin this conversation, so I settled for, “Uh, I’m going over to my boyfriend’s house.”

            She gasped. “Since when do you have a boyfriend? Why didn’t you tell me this before? I have to meet him. Tell me all about him. How does he look? Describe him to me right now. Give me a mental image.”

            I chuckled. “Slow down, Mom. First off, his name is Levi, and he’s the best-looking guy I’ve ever dated. No, I’m not biased. Once you meet him, you’ll see that for yourself. Uh, he has black hair, is kind of short, and… Mom, he’s hot. Okay?”

            “Send me a picture. I know you have some.”

            “Give me a second,” I said, putting the gifts down on the kitchen counter. I took my phone in hand, going to the home screen to click on the photo album icon. I tapped on a picture of Levi standing next to Isabel, since it was the only one I had of him smiling, and he looked beyond adorable. I attached it to a text message, and sent it to her. “I just sent it.”

            “And I just received it.” Four seconds passed before she ruined my hearing with a squeal. “Michael! He’s so cute. Oh my god! Those eyes! He’s gorgeous. I approve. In fact, let me stamp my official approval on him, because he’s lovely.”

            I laughed. “Yeah, well, it’s more than just his looks that I like. I love everything about him.”

            “I’m crying.” She shouted my dad’s name. “John! John, come here! Come look at our boy’s boyfriend. Bring me some tissues, too.”

            “Mom, as much as I love where this conversation is heading, I really have to get going.”

            She sniffled. “Okay, but first tell me this: Does he make you happy?”

            “Extremely.”

            She sobbed. “I’m so happy right now, I could sing. But of course I won’t. Okay, okay, I’ll let you go. I love you, and tell him Merry Christmas from me. Don’t you dare forget.”

            “I won’t,” I said. “And I love you, too. I’ll call you tomorrow, all right?”

            “You better. Okay, sweetie. Bye-Bye now."

            “Bye, Mom.” I hung up, feeling unbelievably grateful that I had parent’s that accepted me for who I was. When I had confessed to them that I was gay, I was worried that they’d suddenly drop me like I wasn’t their son anymore. But, luckily for me, that hadn’t been the case. Though it had taken my dad a while to accept the news, they both supported me from the very beginning.

            With my hands now free, I finally carried out the gifts to the car, setting them down in the backseat. I had half a mind to strap them in, since my driving was less than civil, but I was running out of time, so I left them as is.

            Sitting down in the driver’s seat, I started up the engine and backed out of my designated parking space. I was keeping to the speed limit until someone cut me off, then it was all rock-and-roll. The gifts slid from one end of the bench seat, to the other. It was a good thing none of them were fragile. Otherwise I’d have some problems.

            It was ten past four when I pulled up in front of Levi’s house, parking behind a red Hummer. My heart began to pound erratically in my chest, the nerves of meeting his family—other than Petra—finally settling in. I had no clue how this was going to go, or if any of them were going to like me. Either way, I couldn’t sit around out here for much longer.

            Stepping out of the car, I opened up the backdoor, cringing at my wrapping as I grabbed the gifts from the backseat. With them cradled in my arms, I strolled up the pathway to the front door. I popped out my index finger to ring the doorbell, stepping back and trying not to look like a deer in headlights.

            The door swung open on its hinges, and I sighed in relief when I saw Hanji. She scanned the gifts, smirking.

            “They look horrible, don’t they?” I said.

            She took them from me. “I happen to love your handiwork, but if you want, I can tuck them behind the rest of the gifts.”

            “Please do.” I stepped inside, hearing chatter coming from the living room. I had only been to Levi’s house a couple times before this, and it still surprised me that the house was so clean. It shouldn’t have. I knew Levi and his standard of cleanliness, but it seemed that Petra kept it all up for him, even more so now that he was regaining his memories. “How is he today?”

            Hanji shut the door with the toe of her shoe, heaving out a sigh. “He’s more or less the same.”

            I followed behind her, noticing her sudden change of demeanor. “You guys aren’t keeping anything from me, are you?”

            “No,” she said too quickly. “Let’s not talk about all this today. Today is meant to be happy and…” She looked at me over her shoulder. “Let’s just enjoy today without any of the bad stuff.”

            I wanted to press for more information, but I had a feeling that Levi told her not to tell me anything, and if that were the case, she wouldn’t. As much as she liked me, and considered me a good friend, she was loyal to him.

            “Okay.”

            She led me into the living room, where I immediately forgot about what could be bothering Levi when every pair of eyes turned to stare at me. Not knowing what to say, I lifted my hand up in a lame ass greeting, smiling awkwardly.

            _Someone save me._

Petra detached herself from the crowd, coming over to where I stood rigid to take hold of my arm. She gave me a gentle smile before putting her free hand to the small of my back, coaxing me forward. I took a deep breath in as people started surrounding me, throwing questions my way faster than I could answer them.

            “Uh,” I stammered, being glared down by a rather large woman that had insisted on standing a centimeter away from me.

            “Let him breathe,” I heard Levi say from somewhere behind her. “I’m serious, Aunt Lin. I will kick your calf, so help me…”

            “Oh, fine,” she relented, stepping away from me. “I’m just trying to see if he’s worthy of my little Wevi.” She pinched his cheeks, and he stared at her with an are-you-serious-right-now expression. “Anyway, he’s gorgeous.”

            Levi crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m glad you noticed. Now”—he snatched my hand, tugging me toward him—“if you don’t mind, I’m going to steal my boyfriend back.”

            I willingly allowed him to show me out of the room, clutching his hand in a near death grip as he led me down a spacious hallway. He pushed open a door to the right, shoving me inside before closing the door behind us. I’d never been inside his room, but I was pretty sure this was it.

            Everything was neat and orderly—obviously. Nothing aside from a collage of pictures above his headboard hung on his walls, and his bed was pristinely made. The only place that I felt comfortable sitting was his computer chair, but even that was in impeccable condition.

            “So,” I started, “there’s a lot of people here.” He slipped off his shoes before shoving me back onto the bed. I barely had time to register what was happening, and by then, he was already unbuttoning my shirt. “What are you doing?”

            He stared up at me. “What does it look like I’m doing? Don’t be a moron.”

            “Your family is out there,” I hissed, squeezing my eyes shut as he lightly scraped his nails down my stomach.

            “So?”

            “ _So?!_ ” I lowered my voice to add, “We can’t do this.”

            “Oh, we can do this. And we are. It’s called a quickie, Eren. Get with the program.”

            “There’s no such thing as a quickie with gay sex.” I leaned my head up for it to instantly fall back onto the bed as his hand slid beneath the band of my boxers. “Levi…”

            “Shut up and fuck me.”

            Thirty minutes later, we made our way back out to the living room and I could’ve sworn everyone knew what we had just done. Before Levi stepped foot near anyone, I quickly ran my fingers through his hair, trying to make it look presentable again. He had after-sex hair going on, and even though it was sexy as hell, I didn’t want anyone to see it.

            “Are you done?” he said, fixing my shirt.

            “Everybody is going to know. Oh, my god. They’re going to see us, and…" I swallowed hard. "Kill me now. Murder me.”

            He rolled his eyes. “Calm down. No one is going to know. I wasn’t even loud.”

            “Because I covered your mouth.”

            “It isn’t my fault that you were hammering into my prostate.”

            I clamped both hands over his mouth, my eyes going wide. I looked in every direction, making sure no one had overhead what he had just said. When I was sure no one was around, I whispered, “Keep it down.”

            He laughed, and then suddenly his face contorted into an expression of pain. He cupped my cheek, running his thumb over it. “I love you, Eren. Always remember that. No matter what happens, know that it doesn’t change the way I feel toward you.”

            That was an odd thing to say out of the blue. “Is everything okay?”

            Instead of answering me, he took my hand and dragged me back into the living room. What had he been talking about? It almost felt like he was saying good-bye, but that couldn’t be it. I knew there was definitely something going on, but it couldn’t be bad enough for him to leave…right?

            I shook my head. I was getting ahead of myself. Everything was going to be all right, and like Hanji said, today was supposed to be enjoyed without thinking of the bad stuff. Levi was just finding a way to cope with everything he was remembering. That was the reason he had been acting so distant lately. With time, it’d get better, and then it would all be okay.

            We sat next to Hanji on the couch while Petra put on a Christmas movie. Throughout it all, Levi would pass glances at me with this strange expression on his face. He looked like he was enduring some type of physical agony. Was he still thinking about my death in our other life? Is that what had him staring at me like he was losing me all over again?

            I wrapped my arm around his waist, pulling him toward me. He rested his head on my shoulder, slinging an arm around my neck. That’s when I noticed Hanji was looking at us, bottom lip trembling. The tear that slid down her cheek reflected the light coming off the TV screen, which was the only way I had spotted it in the first place. Why was she crying?

            I was going to ask her this when she wiped at her face with her sleeve, and murmured, “Don’t mind me. I get all emotional on Christmas.” All the while, she was giving Levi a meaningful look, but he ignored her, pretending to be caught up in the movie he wasn’t watching a minute ago.

            Confused, I couldn’t focus on anything but the thoughts that were going through my head. I didn’t know what kind of expression I had on my face, but when Levi saw it, he leaned up to whisper, “Don’t worry about anything. Not today," in my ear.

            I wanted to ask him how that was even possible when he and Hanji were acting so strange, but if that’s what he wanted, then that’s what he’d get. After all, it wasn’t only Christmas. Today was his birthday, too.

            “I’m good,” I lied, hoping it wasn’t too obvious. “What are we doing after this?”

            “They’ll probably just gossip until dinner. Why?”

            “I have something to give you.”

            He leaned into me. “We open gifts at night.”

            “It’s not a Christmas present, though,” I said.

            “Oh?” He smiled for the first time that day, and I was willing to do anything to keep it there. I was so tired of seeing him sad. “Did you buy me a birthday gift?”

            I kissed his cheek, nodding. “Want to sneak off?”

            “Yeah.”

            We stood up, and there really wasn’t a sly way to walk out in front of everyone, but no one said a word to us as we made our way out. The second we were out of eyesight, Levi slipped his hand under my shirt, tracing circles on the small of my back.

            “Give me a hint,” he said.

            I racked my brain for something, but the best I could come up with was: “It’s something you’re not expecting.”

            He stared at me like I was stupid. “That was the worst hint ever. Try again.”

            “I have nothing else. We’re almost outside, anyway. Just wait.”

            He grumbled under his breath. “Telling me to wait on my birthday. What kind of boyfriend are you?”

            “The best kind. Now stop pouting.” I pulled open the front door to be stopped mid-stride by Farlan, who was raising his hand to ring the doorbell. He stepped back, smiling at us. Isabel’s head popped up behind his shoulder, and she waved.

            “Merry Christmas, you two!” she said. “We come bearing gifts!” She lifted her hands up to show us the multiple gift bags she was carrying. “Where were you heading off to, Big Bro?”

            “To receive my birthday gift.”

            Farlan clapped his hand on his back. “What a coincidence, because we happen to have your birthday gift in the back of Isabel’s truck. Want to see it?”

            Levi looked at me for confirmation, and I nodded. My gift could wait. We needed to be alone for me to give it to him, anyway.

            I followed them out to Isabel’s truck, just as curious to see what they had bought him as he was. We hadn’t even reached it when I spotted the two-seat dune buggy in the back. Levi squeaked beside me, mouth falling open as he stared at it with wide eyes.

            “No,” he said. “That’s too expensive.”

            Farlan lowered the tailgate. “Don’t talk about price. This is your gift, and you will accept it.” Levi opened his mouth to argue, but then Farlan added, “Want to take it for a ride?” And that was all it took for any argument to die away in a hurry.

            The next hour was spent watching Levi and Farlan cruise down the streets of his neighborhood. Isabel and I sat on the curb, watching them pass by with smiles on our faces. When they drove by us this last time, Farlan lifted up his shirt to flash us his chest, to which Isabel gave two thumbs down, shaking her head while laughing.

            “This is amazing, isn’t it?” she said once they disappeared from view again, leaning back on her hands. “A month ago, it was only me and Mikasa, and now I have my family back.” She nudged me with her elbow. “I also got some extended family to add to the mix.”

            “It’s not official yet.”

            Her head whipped in my direction. “Are you planning to make it official?”

            I smiled to myself. “One day. He’s the only one I’ll ever want, so yeah, one day I’ll propose to him. When he’s not sixteen, that is.”

            “Well, of course,” she said, smiling wide. “Can I be your flower girl? Let me sing at the wedding.” She beat her fist on the sidewalk. “Now you have me all excited. Do you think we could get Levi in a dress?”

            I laughed. “Not a chance.”

            “That’s what I thought. He would look so pretty, though.” She sighed, changing the subject. “Do you think we’ll ever remember our deaths? Hanji told me about mine, but it doesn’t seem real. I want to know what I was thinking in my final minutes. I think I would’ve been really worried for Levi.” She turned her head to look at me. “I’m grateful to you, you know? For making him happy in our past life, and for making him happy now.”

            “He makes me happy, too.”

            We lapsed into silence, staring down the street, waiting to see the dune buggy return. That was until we heard Hanji scream from the doorway, “DINNER IS READY! DON’T MAKE ME WAIT, OR I’LL EAT YOUR PORTION! YOU KNOW I WILL!”

            Isabel got to her feet so fast, she was a blur. “You better not!” Then she was bounding toward the front door, leaving me alone to think in the silence of her absence.

            Who would of thought I’d be spending Christmas at Levi’s house? Two months ago, I was sitting alone in my apartment, planning to spend this day with Armin and his family. I never thought that I’d have him back in my life by this time. Before I found him, everyone from my other life seemed like a dream I couldn’t grasp onto. Now I had them here beside me, and I couldn’t be any happier.

            The sound of the buggy tore me away from my reverie, and I stood up to wave them to a stop. Levi pulled into the driveway, his hair windblown. He and Farlan got out of the kart, laughing as they took in each other’s disheveled appearances.

            “Look at your hair,” Levi said, chuckling.

            Farlan ran his hands through it. “You're one to talk. Look at yours.” They laughed some more, reaching out to tousle the other’s hair. By the time they were through, their hair was standing up every which way. “Do I look as sexy as I feel?”

            Levi wrinkled his nose. “You’re not my type. Sorry.”

            Farlan pretended to flip his nonexistent long hair. “Please. I’m too sexy for you. Don’t be mad because you can’t handle all of this.”

            “Shut up and go inside," Levi said passed laughter. "Eren was going to give me something before you whisked me off.”

            “Like you didn’t enjoy every second of my whisking, but all right, I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone.” With that, he went back inside, giving us a proper salute before stepping through the front door, shutting it behind him.         

            “So,” Levi said, grabbing the collar of my shirt. “What was it that you were going to give me?”

            “It’s dinner time. Your mom probably wants us back inside.”

            His happy attitude evaporated as a serious expression settled on his face. “They can wait. I want to be alone with you. Come on.” He took my hand, tugging me towards Isabel’s truck. He gestured for me to climb into the back, and I followed after him, lying down to gaze up at the moon. “What are you thinking about right now, Eren?”

            I turned onto my side, pushing the hair back from his forehead. “How happy I am to be here with you.” He flinched back, looking pained. I sighed. “I wish you’d tell me what was wrong.”

            He silenced me with a gentle kiss. “Give me my present.”

            “Sit up.” I waited until he was upright to pull out the small box from my back pocket. He kept his eyes on it, watching me intently as I lifted up the lid to expose the gift inside. His mouth fell open, eyes snapping up to meet mine.

            “Eren,” he said, his voice barely audible.

            I slid the ring out from the cushion, grabbing his left hand. “It’s a promise ring.” I slipped it onto his ring finger, bringing his hand up to kiss the top of each one of his knuckles. “I promise to love you forever, Levi. I promise that one day, if you’ll have me, I’ll marry you.” He stared at me for an immeasurable amount of time, and when he didn’t say anything, I said, “Is it too soon? I could always—”

            He clapped his hand over my mouth. “It’s perfect. Don’t say another word.” He kissed me, our lips barely touching. “I love you…more than anything.” He slumped in my arms, and I felt his warm tears soak into my shirt. “Forever isn’t long enough. Promise me an eternity.”

            I slid my fingers under his chin, lifting his face to look him in the eyes. “I promise I'll love you longer than that.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My babies! My darlings! My precious little souls!
> 
> Okay, I'm all right. I'm good. Let me prepare myself for the next chapter. I must stay strong. *breaths heavily*
> 
> On another note, I am Eren's mom in this chapter. Her reaction would be my reaction. Seriously, word for word, that was me. xD I do hope you guys will stay with me through the next couple chapters, because they will be…hard. Let's hold one another now. And, in case you were wondering, Hanji knows about what Levi is planning to do, which was why she was crying as she looked at them in the living room. 
> 
> So I feel the need to add that I will be finishing this fic. I know that there's a note that attaches itself beneath the current notes (aka, this one) that asks whether I should continue this fic, or not, but that was meant to be at the bottom of the first chapter. For some reason, it ends up attached to the latest chapter. -__- Don't ask me why, because I have no clue. 
> 
> Well then, thank you for reading, commenting, and leaving me kudos. You guys are the wind in my sails… Too cheesy? You love it. Don't lie. Allow me to leave before I further embarrass myself.


	23. Unwilling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so tired right now, that I can't even think of what to write. 
> 
> I hope you guys like the beginning of this chapter, because I did. :)
> 
> Now go on and read. ;)

I could wake up to the sight of Levi lying next to me for the rest of my life. Especially since the blanket had slid down passed the small of his back, exposing the rather tempting beginning of his unbelievably hot ass. I slipped my hand out from beneath my pillow, reaching…

            “No,” Levi mumbled beside me. “My back is killing me.”

            I let my hand plop down on the bed. “You’re the one who wouldn’t leave me alone all night.”

            He turned his head to look at me, hair falling over his eyes. “Oh, don’t act like you weren’t up and at ‘em the second I laid my hands on you.” He sat back on his heels, rubbing at his back as he shot me a death glare, which only caused me to laugh a little too hard. “This is what I get for my mom having the Christmas spirit and letting me spend the night at your apartment.”

            “I think she did it ‘cause it was your birthday,” I said, grabbing him by the arms to turn him away from me. I began to massage his shoulders, smiling when he let out a small sigh. “I don’t think she would’ve been so festive, if she knew you were going to go on full attack mode.”

            He leaned his head back on my shoulder, letting out a tiny hum. “Like you were complaining.”

            “Is that what you thought I was doing? Allow me to correct myself: I’m not complaining whatsoever. Now lay on your stomach.” He whipped his head to the side to give me a questioning look. “Oh, not for that. I’m not made of hormones.”

            He mumbled something under his breath, but leaned forward, coming to rest on his front. I ran my fingertips along his spine, watching goose bumps rise in their wake. I followed the trail I had made with my lips, pressing gentle kisses down the curve of his back. He leaned up on his elbows, causing the small of his back to dip below my ministrations.

            “What are you doing?” he asked, shivering slightly when I added my tongue to the mix.

            “Becoming familiar with your body in this life. I want to know it like the back of my hand. You used to have a scar right here.” I licked right below his ribcage, causing him to shudder. “You got it slicing me out of my titan body.”

            He buried his face in his arms, muffling something that sounded like, “Fuck that bastard.”

            “Huh?” I said, wondering if that had really been what he said.

            He turned his head to the side, keeping his eyes shut. “We’ve been through a lot, haven’t we? How much more do we have to go through? It isn’t fair.”

            I leaned up to lie on my side next to him. I brushed the hair away from his face, running my index finger over the arch of his eyebrow. “What has you worrying so much? What else do we have to go through? We have your mom’s approval, and everyone who knows about our relationship is in agreement with it.” He didn’t say anything, staring off into the distance. “Come here.” I pulled him against me, wanting to take away any doubt he was feeling. “Stop worrying. I won’t let anything come between us.”

            Leaning away from me, he stared down at the promise ring I had given him last night. He ran his finger across the top before slipping it off, holding it in the palm of his hand. That’s when he saw the engraving on the inside of the band that I had forgotten to mention to him. He held the ring close to his face, squinting as he read it out loud. “‘Even death is unable to separate us.’” He glanced up at me, an unreadable expression on his face.

            “What is it? You think it’s cheesy, don’t you?”

            “No,” he said, suddenly looking determined. “It’s true, isn’t it? If death can’t separate us, I don’t see why anything else should be allowed to.”

            “Nothing is going to be allowed to.”

            He smiled at me, and seemed more at ease than he had in several days. He grabbed my hands, lugging me out of bed. “Let’s take a shower.”

            I couldn’t pinpoint what had changed in the last minute that was making him turn a one-eighty in attitude, but I couldn’t bring myself to care—not when he was smiling at me like he had just rediscovered happiness. So long as he was in a better mood, then so was I.

            After we showered, we went back out to my bedroom. Levi picked up the duffel bag he had brought with him, setting it down on the bed to unzip it. He pulled out a set of clothes before wriggling into a pair of boxers, tossing me a teasing look over his shoulder.

            “You know…" I trailed off suggestively. 

            He wagged his finger at me, cutting me off as he bit his bottom lip. “Oh, no. We have to meet Isabel and Farlan in half and hour, and we still have to pick up Hanji. So get your mind out of the gutter.”

            “God, you’re such a tease.”

            “Me?” He reached over to where I had laid out my shirt, picking it up to slip it on over his head. It was big on him, of course, the collar dipping off his shoulder to expose part of his collarbone. “I’m not a tease.”

            I groaned. “Keep this up, and I swear by the end of the night you’re going to end up locked in my car with your hands tied behind your back.”

            He flashed me a crooked smile. “Is that an empty threat?”

            “Hell no.”

            “In that case,” he drawled, pulling his unbearably tight jeans down to give me a view of his milky hipbones before they disappeared behind my black shirt, “we should be going.” He didn’t wait for me to finish getting dressed, leaving my bedroom without so much as a backwards glance in my direction.

            God help me.

            I spun around to yank open the top drawer of my dresser, grabbing the first shirt—a dark-gray band shirt—that my hands landed on. I slid my arms through the sleeves, tugging it over my head. Then I slipped on my shoes, hopping on one foot to get to the front door without wasting any time.

            When I made it out to the parking lot, I was surprised to see Levi leaning up against the passenger side of my car. Usually he stole whatever opportunity he had to drive.

            “Not going to drive?” I asked, rounding the hood to unlock the doors.

            He answered me by climbing into the passenger seat. I followed after him, sliding the key into the ignition to turn on the car. Shifting into first gear, I backed out of my assigned parking space, pretending to have my full attention on the road, when in reality I kept sneaking glances at him whenever he thought I wasn’t looking.

            As I pulled out onto the main road, I said, “You still haven’t told me what we’re doing.”

            “That’s because I was hoping to convince Isabel not to do what she’s about to make us do.” He sighed, looking out the window. “She wants to get professional pictures taken. I wouldn’t doubt if she bought hideous Christmas sweaters and is just waiting for us with a face-splitting grin on her face.”

            I laughed, because that sounded like Isabel. “You love her, so you’ll wear whatever she wants you to—hideous Christmas sweater, or not.”

            Ten minutes later, I pulled up to Hanji’s house. Her front door flew open before we could even think of getting out of the car. She ran to where I was idling, yanking the backdoor open with great force. Then she slipped inside, moving between the two front seats to beam at us.

            “Say hi to me,” she said.

            “Hi.” I grinned at her.

            She turned to look at Levi, waiting expectantly. He rolled his eyes, muttering a low, “Hi,” under his breath. She didn’t seem to care how he said it, because she wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her cheek to his. “That’s my short baby! So, what are we waiting for? Come on. Let’s go!”

            “You’re going to make me go deaf,” Levi said, shoving her away from him, but she clung onto his neck with her Hulk strength. After a while of struggling, he gave up, letting his arms drop to his sides. “I swear you should come with a shock collar.”

            She looked thoughtful for a minute, then a sly grin settled on her face. “You know that wouldn’t work on me.” She finally released him just to wrangle my neck in her arms. “I didn’t want to make you feel left out. My love needs to be dispersed equally.”

            For the rest of the drive to the mall, Hanji kept her arm slung around me. I did my best to drive normally, but every once in a while, she would get distracted and her grip would tighten enough to cause me to have to let go of the gear stick to tap at her arm.

            When we got to JcPenney’s, I parked in an empty spot near the front entrance, shutting off the car. We all got out, and I met Levi halfway, taking his hand in mine, smiling when I felt the platinum band of the promise ring against my finger. I hoped it would stay there until I replaced it with a wedding ring.

            We hadn’t even made it to the front doors when we spotted Isabel and Farlan. They were sitting on a bench beside the entrance, talking amongst each other. That all changed the instant Isabel saw us walking up to them. She jumped up to her feet, waving us over to her.

            “You’re late,” she said, glaring daggers at Levi.

            He just shrugged. “Whoops.”

            She grabbed his arm. “You’re coming with me.” She looked from me to Hanji. “You two follow Farlan. We have to change into the outfits I have waiting for us at the front counter.”

            I thought of all the outfits she was willing to shove us in, but since it was the day after Christmas, I was guessing it was something related to that. My thoughts were confirmed when the lady at the layaway counter held out a snowman costume to me. Levi barked out a laugh as I took it from her, but his laughter died off when she handed him an elf outfit—complete with pointy shoes and hat.

            “No,” he said.

            Isabel took it from the lady, dragging him toward the changing rooms. I stayed behind, smiling when Hanji received her reindeer costume. She was ecstatic, sprinting after Isabel with a squeal. Farlan looked less than amused when he took hold of the Santa Clause outfit he would be wearing.

            “What’s Isabel going to be?” I asked, walking with him to where the others were already changing.

            He shrugged. “Beats me. After she forces Levi into that elf outfit, she’ll probably come back out for hers. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

            “Guess so.”

            We went into our separate stalls, and I stripped off my clothing, piling it onto the chair to pull on the snowman outfit that threatened to overheat my body the second it was in place. It didn’t help that the headpiece clung to the sides of my head like a second skin, but luckily for me, there was a hole for my face to peep through.

            I looked at myself in the full-length mirror once I was dressed, and burst into laughter. Wow, to think that I was actually going to be photographed looking like a tall and lanky version of Frosty the Snowman. I flicked the black top hat that was stitched to the headpiece, and chuckled at my reflection.

            Stepping foot outside the stall, I was met with a bouncy Hanji. Like mine, her costume was a one-piece, the antlers and ears flipping over her head like the hoodie of a jacket.

            “I want a red nose,” she said. “I want to be Rudolph.” With that, she started singing the song, dancing around the small area until Levi walked out. We both stopped what we were doing to take a good look at him.

            “Oh, my god,” I said, surprised I could manage to speak at all.

            He glared at me for half a second before his eyes narrowed. “Not a damn word. Not one.”

            I pressed my lips into a tight line, trying to refrain myself, but… “You look so fucking cute right now. Seriously, I can’t even handle this.”

            “What did I just tell you?” He pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing in exasperation.

            “I can’t help it. You look adorable.” I patted my legs, but remembered I had left my phone in the pocket of my jeans. I hurried into the stall my clothes were in, fishing my phone out of its confines and rushing back out to find Levi was already walking off with Farlan. “I will get a picture!” I called out to him, to which he responded by waggling his fingers over his shoulder at me, using his free hand to lift the green tunic he was wearing to reveal his ass in the red spandex that came along with his outfit.

            Hanji came up to me, propping her arm up on my shoulder. “That’s a nice ass.”

            “That’s a teasing ass,” I pointed out, noting her usual wide smile that hadn’t been around the last couple of days. “So, you guys seem in a better mood today. Did you two fix whatever was nagging at you?” I was walking on thin ice, but I was hoping I could sneak some information out of her. If what had been bothering them was solved, then I had nothing to worry about.

            She wiggled her eyebrows at me. “No, but we’re approaching it in another way now.”

            So there _was_ something wrong. Even though I had my suspicions, to hear it confirmed made me feel uneasy. Why was Levi keeping this from me? What problem was he facing that he was unwilling to share with me? I didn’t like the sound of them “approaching” any type of difficulty without me in tow to help them every step of the way.

            “Are you going to tell me how you’re approaching it now?” I asked, hoping her excitement caused her to slip up.

            She linked our arms. “All in due time, Eren. Now, let’s go take pictures!” She dragged me forward, but we were stopped when Isabel came out of the stall she had been in. “Oh, ho! Hello to you, Mrs. Clause.”

            Isabel winked. “Let’s do this.”

            Fifteen minutes later, we were ushered into a backroom with several Christmas props set up to give an illusion of an overly decorated living room. A tree stood off to the left, looking far too perfect to be real—not a single ornament was out of place, and the presents beneath it were so flawlessly wrapped, no one would want to tear through those babies.

            The woman who had showed us in here moved behind the camera, angling it on the tripod so it was turned downward. “All right. Gather in the center. For this one, I’m going to have you guys sitting down.” She stood up straight, pointing to Levi. “Let’s have you be in front.”    

            Hanji snickered at that, whispering, “Shorty.”

            He shot her a glare before moving in front of us all. When the woman positioned us like she wanted, she started giving us instructions on what facial expressions to make. In one we were smiling, in another we were making silly faces. By the time we were able to stand back up, my legs and ass were numb. She didn’t give us enough time to stretch out, though, as she barked out more orders.

            “Ok,” the woman said after another fifteen minutes had passed. “I want one more, then we’re through.” She gestured to Isabel and Farlan. “I want you two sitting back to back.” Once they were seated like she asked, she directed Levi and Hanji to kneel behind them.  “Yes, that's good. And you”—she pointed to me—“Kneel behind them, directly in the center. Okay, now put your hand on each of their shoulder… Perfect! Now smile.” Just as she was about to take the picture, Levi glanced up at me, and I looked down at him, sticking out my tongue. The flash went off, and I returned to smiling like a moron.

            After a few more pictures were taken, the woman announced that we were done. We all stood up at the same time, and I was itching to get out of the snowman costume that was making me feel over one hundred degrees. I was pretty sure everyone else felt the same—except for Hanji—because they were all in a hurry to leave the backroom.

            Once everyone was back in the clothes they came in, Isabel said, “I’m starving. Let’s go to the food court and grab some grub.” 

            “I completely agree with that plan,” Hanji said, already walking off. Farlan and Isabel followed behind her, but Levi and I lingered back.

            He peered up at my head. “Your hair is a mess.” Standing on tiptoes, he combed his fingers through my hair. I wrapped my arms around his waist, looking down at his expression of concentration. “There.” He leaned back, nodding in satisfaction.

            “Let’s catch up with the others.” I took his hand, and we walked through the store, laughing over something that had happened with Hanji during the photo shoot. I felt so relaxed, and at ease, that it took me a minute to realize Levi’s laughter had stopped. I glanced over at him. “What is it?”

            He didn’t say anything. His eyes were pinned on something in front of us, and I followed his gaze to spot Hanji standing outside the store, talking with someone. There was no mistaking whom she was talking to, the tall frame and blonde hair were hard to misplace.

            “It’s Erwin,” I said, turning to Levi. “Are you okay?”

            He nodded, clutching my hand tightly. He didn’t relax his grip as we walked forward, and I wondered what was bothering him so much. I knew him and Erwin weren’t on good terms, but was what had come between them as friends bad enough to cause him to look the way he did now? Like he was absolutely terrified?

            As we reached Erwin and Hanji, he turned around to face us, staring at Levi in a strange way. “Fancy meeting you here.”

            Levi clenched his teeth together, jaw straining under the pressure. “We were just leaving.” He snatched Hanji’s hand, dragging her back towards us. Then he turned on his heel, yanking me forward. He kept walking until Erwin said something else.

            “I hope you didn’t forget our agreement.”

            Levi stopped mid-stride, dropping my hand to whirl around. “No, Joe, I didn’t forget our agreement. Now fuck off.”

            Okay, what the hell was going on? I’d never seen Levi look so angry before—at least not in this life, and I had seen it enough times in our past life to know this was an anger I didn't want him to be feeling. More than that, why was it directed at Erwin? What the fuck did he do to cause this?

            I was going to find out.

            When Erwin moved forward, I stepped in front of Levi, cutting him off. “I don’t know what you did to piss him off, but if I were you, I’d be on my way.”

            Erwin look angered for a split second before his face revealed no emotion at all. “Ah, I see. He didn’t tell you, then?”

            “Tell me what?”

            “Eren,” Levi said from behind me, sounding desperate.

            “That he’s supposed to break up with you after Christmas,” Erwin finished.

            For a minute, I just stood there, taking in what he had just said. Then anger flared deep within me, and I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, shoving him back. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

            “Eren, stop!” Levi grabbed my arm, but I didn’t loosen my grip. Not until this asshole spoke up.

            To my surprise, Erwin laughed. “So you have anger issues, as well? Look, I don’t want any problems. I gave him until after Christmas. Now it’s time for him to hold up his end of the deal.”

            “If you don’t start making sense,” I bit out, “I’m going to—”

            Someone grabbed hold of my waist, yanking me back. I looked back to see Farlan staring at me in concern. He directed Isabel and Levi to hold my hands, making sure I wasn't going to do anything before he went up to Erwin. “Mind telling me what this is about?”

            Levi said, “Enough already. This is bullshit.” He pointed to Erwin. “This fucker threatened to call the cops on Eren if I didn’t break up with him.”

            “Threaten?” Erwin muttered. “I’m doing this for your own good. Can’t you see that?”

            I bolted forward, seeing nothing but the boy who used to be Commander Erwin Smith. But that wasn’t who he was anymore, and I wasn’t about to treat him with respect that he didn’t deserve. If he wanted to throw threats, I was going to give him a good reason to.

            “Hey.” Farlan put his hands on my arms, stopping me. “He’s not worth it, Eren. Hey!” He shook me, forcing me to look at him. “This pisses me off, too, but he’s not worth you getting thrown in jail. We’ll figure this out. But right now, we need to get out of here before you do something you’ll regret.”

            I laughed, and it sounded a bit maniacal. “Oh, I won’t regret beating him to a pulp. Believe me.”

            His grip tightened on me. “You will. Right now you’re angry, and you have every reason to be, but if we don’t leave, there are going to be a lot more problems to add to the one we already have. Okay?”

            Deep down, I knew he was right, but the anger wouldn’t leave me. What was I supposed to do? Let Erwin ruin my relationship? Let him take away the one person that meant everything to me?

            “You bastard,” I said, staring at the man I didn’t even recognize anymore.

            He didn’t pay me no mind, putting all his attention on Levi as he said, “Tonight.” Then he was walking away, leaving me behind with the destruction he had caused.

            I don’t know how I managed to get out to my car, or who ended up driving it to get me home. All I could focus on was that one word Erwin had said: tonight. I knew what he had meant by that, and by uttering that single word, he had managed to destroy whatever happiness I had built up these past two months.

            When I stepped out of my car, I finally realized that Levi was in the backseat crying. I hadn’t even heard him throughout the drive, too consumed in my own thoughts. But now was not the time to concentrate on myself.

            I pulled open the back door, sliding in next to him on the bench seat. He threw his arms around me, burying his face against my neck.

            “I can’t do it,” he sobbed. “I can’t be strong like I once was.”

            “Shh.” I rubbed his back. “You don’t have to be. Not anymore.”

            He let out a shaky breath. “I hate him. I hate him for this.”

            I did, too. But I knew saying that wouldn’t help anything. “We’ll figure this all out,” I said, even when every part of me felt like it was shattering into pieces.

            We held onto each other for a long time, unwilling to say good-bye, even when we knew that’s what we had to do.

            “No matter how much time passes,” I whispered, “I’ll always be thinking of you.”

            He clung onto my shirt. “Remember what you promised me.”

            “An eternity.”

            “Keep that promise, Eren.”

            “I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins: their inevitable separation. *sobs*
> 
> Before commenting about Erwin, just know that this isn't the end of the fic, and obviously there are still several issues with Erwin that need to be settled. 
> 
> Please stick around to see how this all plays out, and if you have an Instagram account, I will be holding a contest, and the winners (there will be 5) will receive an exclusive chapter to this fic. My username on there is: @levi.eren_
> 
> As always, thank you for the comments, kudos, and subscriptions. They make my day! :D


	24. Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My stomach has been hurting like mad all day, so what better way to spend my sick day then writing this chapter in bed? Beats me. 
> 
> I both love and hate this chapter for many reasons, and I'm sure you'll see why once you've read it. 
> 
> So go on and read. :)

Seconds turned into minutes, and minutes to hours. Time lost all meaning as it stretched on before me, causing me to lose track of it, because even one second without Levi felt like an eternity.

            For three days straight—according to Hanji—I stayed locked up in my room, staring at the wall until I couldn’t see it at all. If it weren’t for Armin and Mikasa, I wouldn’t even bother getting out of bed to fulfill my basic needs, but they were diligent when it came to not letting me wallow in my misery.

            Like right now, for instance. I’d be curled up in bed, if Mikasa hadn’t shown up first thing in the morning, forcing me into the kitchen to eat a bowl of apple-cinnamon oatmeal. She wouldn’t stop pestering me until what she had served me was completely gone. Even then, she was apt to add something else for me to consume.

            Pushing the bowl away from me, I said, “I’m done.”

            She peered down at it, eyes narrowing. “You hardly ate anything.”

            “I’m not hungry.” That wasn’t even a lie. My stomach felt like it was tied in knots. How did she expect me to eat anything? All I wanted was to go to sleep. Why was that so hard for her to understand?

            She leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest. “If you don’t eat the rest of that, I’m going to call up Isabel and tell her it’s okay to let Levi skip a meal.”

            Of course she went there. She knew exactly what to say to get me to eat the damn oatmeal.

            “Give it here,” I mumbled, watching her slide the bowl back over to me. I took hold of the spoon, making a show of bringing it to my mouth. I chewed loudly, ignoring her irritated expression. If she wanted me to eat, then this was what she was going to get. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown, and she wanted me to care about whether or not I got the proper calorie intake. That wasn’t going to happen until I had Levi back.

            She leaned forward to press her index finger between my eyebrows. “Stop with the face. I’m doing this for your own good. Just like you want Levi to eat, he wants you to eat, too. Stay strong.”

            I sighed, my face relaxing. “I know. This whole thing just pisses me off. I swear if you and Armin weren’t holding me back, I would have already paid a visit to Erwin. Fuck going to jail.”

            She grinned, shaking her head. “You’re still too strong willed for your own good.”

            “Gonna throw me against a wall again?”

            She actually laughed at that. “If I have to, then yes. Don’t make me go there. You’re already in enough emotional pain to be dealing with any physical pain.”

            “Physical pain wouldn’t hurt as much as this,” I said, chewing on another mouthful. The oats had already soaked up all the milk, giving them a dry, grainy feel on my tongue. Ugh.

            “We’ll find a way to get through this. Even if I have to talk to Erwin myself, I will get through to him. What he’s doing isn’t right. It’s based on his own jealousy, and I’m going to make him pay for hurting you.”

            I put my hand on her shoulder. “Have I told you that I love you? Because I love you. But don’t make me restrain _you_. You’re a newscaster. It wouldn’t look good if you go around beating seventeen year olds.”

            She sighed, toying with the red scarf she had around her neck. She looked down at it. “I miss my old one. It was a lot better quality. They don’t make things like they used to.”

            “Don’t change the subject,” I said. “Promise me you won’t go see him without Armin. I know he wouldn’t let you do anything foolish.”

            She sighed again, dropping her hand in her lap. “Fine. I promise.”

            “Good. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to finish this _delicious_ oatmeal that you made me.” I brought another spoonful to my mouth, chomping loudly. That earned me a smile, and that’s what I was hoping to see.

            When I was done eating, I washed my bowl and tried to escape to my room, but Mikasa caught me by the arm. She didn’t say a word as she led me to my bathroom, pushing the door open for us to step inside.

            “Shower,” she said.

            “Will I get to sleep afterwards?”

            “I’d prefer if you don’t, but if that’s what will get you in the shower, then yes.”

            I yanked my arm free. “It will. Now shoo.” I ushered her out, shutting the door behind her. Once I was alone, I undressed, thinking of all the times I had been in here with Levi. God, this hurt. There was no way to dull this pain.

            After I showered, I poked my head through the door, making sure Mikasa wasn’t inside my room before I went traipsing out in my birthday suit. With no sign of her, I walked out, locking my bedroom door to make sure I wasn’t interrupted while I dressed in a pair of black pajama bottoms.

            “Eren?” Mikasa said after I pulled on my pants, trying the door handle. “Why did you lock the door?”

            I rolled my eyes, unlocking it. It swung open right away. “I was naked. Didn’t want to show you the goods.”

            “Ew.” She wrinkled her nose.

            I stared at her. “Don’t ‘ew’ me.”

            “Oh, you know what I mean. It would be like looking at my brother. I don’t need that.”

            “You won’t get that,” I said, running my hands down my chest and stomach. “This is all spoken for, baby.”

            “I think I’m going to be sick.”

            I shoved her. “Rude!” We pushed at each other until Armin came walking in, eyeing us like we were children. We jumped apart, feeling like a parent had just caught us fighting. I pointed to Mikasa. “She started it.”

            “I did not!” she said. “He pushed me first.”

            Armin stared at us for half a second before he burst into laughter. We followed after him, laughing until we were breathless. When we recovered, I threw my arms over their shoulders, pulling them closer to me.

            “I love you guys,” I said.

            They responded with, “We love you, too.”

            The sound of someone’s phone buzzing had us pulling apart. Mikasa reached into her pocket, extracting her cell. “It’s me,” she said, answering the call. “Hello? Isabel… Slow down. What’s going on?” I turned to look at her, and she held up a finger to me. “Damn. Okay. I’ll be there soon.”

            “What’s happening?” I asked.

            “Isabel is in some trouble.” She turned to face Armin. “Think you can go with?”

            He nodded. “Of course. Do you want to take my car, or yours?”

            “Yours.”

            They went to leave, and I said, “Wait. Why can’t I come?”

            Mikasa sighed. “I can’t let you go.”

            Now this was just starting to get suspicious. “Why not?”

            “I have to go, Eren. I can’t explain right now.” She walked out of my room, and I followed after her, determined to find out what was going on. Why wouldn’t she tell me? There was only one reason I could think of.

            “Does this have anything to do with Levi?” I asked, reaching out to grab her by the hand, stopping her in place. “Mikasa, please. If it does, let me go.” I gave her a pleading look, hoping she would yield.

            A few seconds passed by before she shook her head. “No. You’ll stay here. Please understand.” With that, she shook free of my hold and left without another word. I stood in the entryway for all of two seconds before I sprinted back into my room, slipping off my pajama bottoms to quickly dress in a white T-shirt and jeans.

            After I pulled on my shoes, I hurried out of my apartment, grabbing my car keys from off the kitchen counter. Out the door, I rushed to my car, climbing inside and starting up the engine. Then I peeled out of the parking lot, hurrying down my street and trying to spot Armin’s blue Honda Fit.

            For once in my life, I was glad Armin drove like a grandpa, because he hadn’t made it far at all. I kept a good distance behind them, hoping they wouldn’t spot the telltale flame-red of my car in the rearview mirror. This had something to do with Levi. Why else would Mikasa not want me to come along?

            I followed them out onto the main road, and wondered where they could be heading. They weren’t going in the direction of either Isabel or Levi’s house. That meant that they had to be out and about, but what kind of trouble could they be in? From what I knew, Levi hadn’t left his house since our last night together, so what would appeal to him enough to get him out?

            “Fuck,” I hissed, pressing down on the gas pedal as I steered my car to the right. There was only one reason that Levi would ever want to leave his house, and that was to confront Erwin. Shit. I hoped that I was wrong. That maybe this was some simple, idiotic problem that needed to be taken care of. But if that were the case, then Mikasa wouldn’t have had a problem with me tagging along.

            My thoughts were going a million miles per hour that I almost missed when Armin turned into a neighborhood. The first thing I noticed was the size of the houses. They were huge, and every lawn was so neatly kept, they looked like show houses. Did people actually live in them?

            I tore my eyes away from the lining of houses to keep watch on Armin’s car. He was driving slowly, which told me he was looking for a specific house. Who lived in this neighborhood, anyway? Whoever it was, they were rich.

            Suddenly he pulled over, and immediately Mikasa was out of the car, running to the front door of a house that looked like it was fit for a damn damsel in distress. I turned down another street, parking on the side of the road. I got out, jogging over to where Armin was idling.

            The driver’s side door swung open, and he stepped out, eyes going wide when he saw me. “What are you doing here, Eren?”

            I didn’t answer him, following after Mikasa. The front door had been left open, but I didn’t go inside. I stayed on the porch, listening. All it took for me to cross the threshold was the sound of Levi’s voice.

            My feet carried me through an extravagant living room, then a narrow hallway that led me closer to where his voice was coming from, but before I could make it there, I was suddenly swept back with great force. I landed on my ass, and I looked up to see Mikasa standing over me.

            “You followed us,” she said, expression impassive. “I should’ve expected that. Leave. Now.”

            I stood up. “No. Levi is in here.”

            “Eren.” She put her hand on my shoulder, squeezing until I winced. “I won’t tell you again. I told you not to make me hurt you, but I also said that I would.”

            I gritted my teeth. “Not until you tell me what the fuck is going on.”

            “Do you think I’m giving you a choice?” She pushed me back, causing me to trip over my feet, but she picked me right back up by the collar of my shirt, shoving me back until she tossed me out the front door. “Go back to your apartment.”

            Okay, now I was pissed.

            I shot up to my feet. “Get the hell out of my way!” I lunged forward, but her arm shot out, hitting me in the chest. My eyes darted up to her face. “Goddamnit, Mikasa. Tell me what’s happening.”

            “I can’t do that,” she said.

            The anger welled up, and I pushed her, but she didn’t move an inch. “Why?! Tell me why, or I’m not leaving!” I drove my hands against her shoulder, but her feet stayed rooted to the pavement. “Why are you so fucking strong? Even in this life. I hated it back then, and I hate it now.”

            “Eren, stop.” She caught my hand mid-air, holding it in place. “I’m doing this for your own good. We have the situation under control. So, please, trust me and go.”

            I let my arm fall back to my side. How could I leave knowing that Levi was inside? It had only been three days since I’d last seen him, but it felt much longer then that. I just wanted a glimpse of him. Was that too much to ask for?

            It must’ve been to Mikasa, because she started to lug me toward Armin’s car. I tried to fight back, but she was as strong as ever. I had half a mind to karate chop her neck, but if I did that, I had no doubt I would end up getting kicked in the balls, and I wanted to spare myself of _that._

“Mikasa,” I pleaded, dropping all my weight on the arm that held me.

            “No. You _aren’t_ staying.”

            As I was trying to devise a plan to escape, I suddenly heard my name being called out by the one person that could literally make me dig my nails into Mikasa’s arm. Startled, she let go of me, and I ran away from her, toward the boy who was looking at me as if I was something precious.

            Levi was standing on the porch, and when I reached him, I threw my arms around his waist, pulling him up. He immediately wrapped his arms around my neck, saying my name over and over.

            “Fuck three days without seeing you,” I said, burying my face against his shoulder.

            He laughed. “God, I missed you.”

            I wanted to pause time, to stay away from reality for as long as possible. It wasn’t fair to be torn apart like this. It wasn’t our fault that our age difference put a barrier between us. That’s all people saw, all they considered. They didn’t care that we loved each other, or that I’d never hurt him. I wasn’t with him because of his age. Even if he were thirty, I’d still want to be with him.

            “Come on,” he said, pushing on my arms so I’d lower him. “Let’s get out of here.”

            Why did he seem in a rush? “Okay.” I grabbed his hand, holding it securely in my own, smiling when I saw the promise ring on his finger.

            “Go,” Mikasa said, sounding urgent.

            I turned around to see what her problem was, but my eyes landed on none other then Erwin, who was standing at the doorway. So this was _his_ house. Was Levi here to talk to him? Confront him? Is that why Isabel needed back up?

            “Shit.” Levi tugged on my arm, but I was done running away from the problem. Nothing was going to get fixed if I didn’t take initiative. He’d keep getting in our way if I stood back and let him, because that’s what he wanted. He wanted me out of the picture, and he was dead wrong if he thought I wasn’t going to fight with everything I had.

            I glanced back at Levi, giving him an apologetic look before I yanked my arm out of his grasp. I didn’t give him time to react, going up to Erwin with a look of determination. I almost reached him when he suddenly bolted forward, knocking me back. He followed after, landing roughly on me.

            “What the fuck?” I said, right before his fist connected with the side of my chin. Everything in me screamed for me to fight, to show him that I was willing to, but something told me that wouldn’t get through to him. This boy on top of me was just another version of Commander Erwin Smith. If I was going to crack through his walls, I had to approach this situation in a different way. “Go ahead. Hit me. It doesn’t matter how much you do it, because no amount of physical pain can add up to the pain you’ve already caused me.”

            He glared down at me with those icy-blue eyes. “Why him, huh? Why not anyone else? Tell me!” He snatched the collar of my shirt, using it to lift me up off the ground before slamming me back down.

            “EREN!” Levi screamed.

            I turned my head to look at Isabel, signaling for her to grab him. She snatched his wrist up, while Mikasa took hold of his shoulder. She looked on the verge of murder, but knew me well enough to know that I didn’t want her to step in. I had to handle this on my own.

            I focused my gaze back on Erwin— _no, don’t treat him like his past self._ “Joe,” I said. “I know you don’t understand what’s going on, but if you give me a chance to explain—”

            He surprised me by landing another punch on my face, this time on my left cheek. “I gave Levi a chance to explain already. He won’t. Why should I trust that you will? I don’t know you. All I know is Levi is hurting, and has been ever since he’s been with you. I swear if I could…” His knee hit me square in the ribs, knocking the wind out of me.

            “STOP IT!” Levi cried. “Stop hurting him! He didn’t do anything!” He pulled against Isabel and Mikasa’s hold on him. “Let go of me! Go do something!”

            I shook my head, trying to regain my breath. “No. Stay there.”

            “Fight back!” Erwin growled. “I know you want to.”

            “I do,” I admitted. “But I won’t. I know why your anger is directed at me. You care for Levi, and you think I’m hurting him, but I’m not. I would never hurt him. He means everything to me.”

            Erwin’s eyes narrowed. “How did you get passed his walls? It took me years, and then you just show up and he’s suddenly in love?”

            Fuck, my face and side hurt something fierce, but I was finally starting to make progress. If he hit me more, so be it. “There’s more to us that you don’t know.”

            “And you’re willing to tell me?”

            “Yes,” I said.

            “Prove it. Tell me something that he’s not ready for me to hear. Go on.”

            I struggled under his weight, moving my hand to clutch at my side. “Does the name Erwin Smith sound familiar to you?”

            He looked taken aback for a fraction of a second before he took hold of my collar again. “What kind of shit is that? No, that name doesn’t sound familiar. Why?”

            “That’s who you used to be. You were commander of the Survey Corps.” He went to hit me again, but I added, “Think about it, dammit! Why do you think you feel a connection with Levi and Hanji? Look at me!” His eyes slid down to my face. “Tell me I don’t look familiar to you. Tell me you don’t feel like you know me.”

            “Do you expect me to believe this?”

            “It’s true,” Levi spat. “Why do you think I didn’t want to tell you? I _knew_ you wouldn’t believe me, but everything he said is true.”

            Isabel stepped forward, still keeping her hold on Levi. “It’s not a lie. I look familiar, too, right? That’s because you knew me back then.”

            Erwin looked confused. “Back then? What are you talking about?”

            I took a deep breath in, grimacing when my side began to throb. “I’ll explain it all. _We’ll_ explain it all.”

            He looked like he was considering what we had said, but then a car I had never seen before screeched to a stop in front of his house. His head immediately whipped to the side to gaze at it, eyes narrowing. Of course he wasn’t going to get off me now. Who the fuck was it, anyway?

            My question was soon answered as both Farlan and Hanji jumped out of the car, running up to us. Farlan stopped next to Isabel, clenching his teeth together when he saw Erwin on top of me.

            “It’s okay,” I said to him, not wanting him to jump in. “I’m fine.”

            “Liar.” That came from Levi, who had started to cry. I gave him a reassuring smile, hoping that my cheek wasn’t already beginning to bruise.

            Hanji didn’t seem to care what I had said, because she stomped up to where Erwin had me pinned, shoving him back. He toppled over, caught off guard by her sudden attack. Then he raised his hands up.

            “This has nothing to do with you,” he said. “I don’t want any trouble with you, Hanji.”

            She bared her teeth, and looked scarier then I had ever seen her before. “You mess with Eren, you _are_ asking for trouble with me.” She ducked faster then I could understand, slamming into him. “Fight me! I can fight back and not go to jail! Come on!”

            “Hanji—”

            She cut him off with a punch to the face. “Shut up! I’m so tired of you. Who the fuck are you?! This behavior is pathetic. I’d never expect this from you. You disappoint me.”

            He glared at her, hands moving forward.

            “Don’t you fucking dare lay a hand on her,” I said, turning over so I was on my hands and knees. “I won’t fight back for me, but if you hurt her, I’ll beat the shit out of you.”  

            “I wasn’t going to hurt her.” Erwin sat up, slowly moving Hanji off him. “Fine. This has gone too far. If you want me to listen to what you have to say, then I will.”

            Hanji’s anger melted away as fast as it had come, and she clapped him on the shoulder. “Finally, you dumbass.”

            “On one condition,” he added, and I focused my eyes on him. “If I don’t believe you, then you leave Levi alone for good.”

            I rubbed my side. “I can’t give you that. You can keep me away until he’s eighteen, but I’ll always be waiting for him.”

            He glared at me. “And who’s to say he’d be waiting for _you_?”

            “I do,” Levi said, finally pulling away from Isabel and Mikasa’s hold. He came to kneel by me, cupping my face and inspecting where I had been hit before he turned back to Erwin. “I’ll always be waiting for him.”

            Erwin stared at him for a long time before letting out a sigh. “All right. Let’s get this over with. Come inside the house.”

            Levi helped me come to a stand, and he leaned up to kiss every part of my face.

            “I’m fine.”

            “You’re not.”

            “No, really, I am,” I said. “I feel better then I have in days, actually, because I’m here with you.”

            He rolled his eyes, taking my hand. “Let’s do this thing…together.”

            I smiled. “Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I haven't been responding to all the comments. I've just been busy with Christmas shiz, but I do read them all, and I appreciate every one who takes the time to leave behind some feedback, or their thoughts. Really, I do. :)
> 
> Do you guys like or dislike how I update so quickly? I know some other authors on here update once a week, but I think that's too much to ask of me, because if I have a chapter written already, why not update? Ya know what I mean? 
> 
> P.S. I don't know if you noticed, but I couldn't have them separated for long. I COULDN'T write it. *cries* I love them too much for that. UGH! 
> 
> Anyhoo, thanks for reading! I love you guys--especially Lonely, because she always cracks me up with her comments. *cough cough* ❤


	25. Fleeting Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it's still Christmas where you're at, don't read this until the following day. Ok? 
> 
> With that said, I don't even know how I managed to finish this chapter during the holidays. Okay, I'm lying. I'm an insomniac, and staying up till 5 AM helped. Ugh! I honestly hate being an insomniac, but writing this chapter really helped get my mind off of things. 
> 
> Anyway, before I get carried away, go on and read. :)

I kept a tight hold on Levi’s hand as Erwin led us into a vast dining room. He gestured to the lining of chairs against the table, and each of us took a seat. I felt wary about this whole situation. Would he believe what we had to say? If he hadn’t started regaining his memories, I doubt he would be easily swayed—even with all of us telling him the same story. He was stubborn at best.

            Farlan sat in the empty seat next to mine, eyes never moving from Erwin’s face. I hadn’t known him for long, but he was a loyal friend, and right now I could tell it was taking him a lot not to defend Levi in any way he could. I felt grateful to have him here with us—to have all the support we did. Even if Erwin didn’t believe us, I would always have these people behind me.

            Erwin cleared his throat, nabbing all our attention. Hanji scooted her seat closer to Isabel, who was on the other side of Levi. “Go ahead,” he said. “Whoever wants to start, can.”

            I sighed. Where did I even begin?

            “First things first,” I said, looking into his blue eyes. “Have you ever had recurring nightmares? Or even something that could be mistaken for a hallucination?”

            He tilted his head to the side, studying my face. “No, can’t say that I have.”

            Levi smacked his hand down on the table, startling me. “If you have, now’s _not_ the time to lie about it.”

            “I’m not lying,” Erwin said. “I’ve never had recurring nightmares, or anything that I could say were hallucinations. What is this about?”

            I soothed Levi by rubbing his lower back, hoping he’d calm down some. “Everyone sitting at this table—excluding you, that is—has had recurring nightmares…hallucinations. At least that’s what we thought they were at first. In time, we learned that they weren’t just figments of our imagination, but memories from a past life.”

            For a long time, Erwin stared at me like I had made a terrible joke. Then he exhaled sharply, rubbing his temples with his thumb and ring finger. “Please tell me I didn’t bring you into my home to discuss something as outrageous as reincarnation.”

            Armin surprised us all when he suddenly spoke up. “It may sound outrageous to you, but you haven’t lived through the torment of remembering a life you’re no longer a part of, a life that’s done and over with, but feels as real to you as if you’re truly reliving every moment here in the present. This isn’t a joke, Joe. I wouldn’t be sitting here, if it were. You may not remember us, but we all remember you.”

            “How do you expect me to believe something like this?” Erwin asked. “Do you have any proof?”

            Mikasa shook her head, fiddling with her red scarf. “This isn’t going to work. He’s never going to believe us unless his memories are triggered. If none of us have set them off already, then none of us will. It has to be someone— _something_ —meaningful to him.”

            “His father,” Hanji said. “Yes! That’s it!” She leaned forward to slam her hands down on the table. “You devoted your life to prove your father’s theories were correct, that the first generation of people behind the walls had had their memories altered so the monarchy could better control them.”  He opened his mouth to say something, but she kept on going. “He shared this knowledge with you, and being a kid, you shared it with others. He died in a supposed accident, but you knew he was murdered by the Military Police, because he was close to the truth.”

            “Hanji,” he said, but she once again cut him off by snatching up his right arm.       

            “You lost this arm just below the shoulder. A titan ate it.” She moved closer, practically crawling on the tabletop. “I was Hanji Zoe, squad leader to the fourth squad.” She pointed to Levi. “Levi, leader of the Special Operations Squad. Also humanity’s strongest soldier.” Her finger moved onto me. “Eren Yeager, graduated fifth as one of the top ten soldiers of the one hundred fourth trainees squad—also a titan-shifter. Armin Arlert. Isabel Magnolia. Farlan Church. Mikasa Ackerman. And you”—she jabbed his chest with her finger—“Commander Erwin Smith. Come on! Something has to spark a memory!”

            “You blackmailed Levi, Farlan, and I to join the Survey Corps,” Isabel said, drawing Erwin’s attention toward her. “We lived in the underground, and had acquired 3D Maneuver Gear illegally. You took interest in Levi, because his skill level was beyond that of a Survey Corps veteran.”

            “I got chomped in half by a titan on my first mission outside the walls,” Farlan added, shrugging when everyone looked at him. “What? It’s true, isn’t it?”

            Levi stared at him, unblinking. “That’s not what this is about. I need a pen and paper.”

            Mikasa reached into her back packet, pulling out a small notepad and half pencil. “Here. I always carry it around in case I catch wind of a good news story.”

            Levi took it from her, flipping it open to an empty page. He began to jot something down that I immediately recognized. It was Erwin’s Long-Range Scouting Formation. Once he was done, he slid the notepad over to Erwin. “Does that look familiar?”

            Erwin looked down at the piece of paper with narrowed eyes. “No.”

            Hanji groaned. “What in the actual hell will trigger your memories?”

            Suddenly Mikasa leaned over the table to snatch up the notepad. She sat back in her seat, drawing something with quick strokes of her wrist. When she was through, she tore off the paper, sketching something else on the blank piece beneath it. She drew two more pictures before she slid all three toward him.

            She pointed to the first one. “This is the Colossal Titan that breached Wall Maria. This”—her finger slid to a sketch of another titan I remembered all too well—“is the Armored Titan that breached Wall Rose. And this one here”—she jabbed at a drawing I didn’t want to look at—“is the Female Titan that you captured during the fifty-seventh expedition of the Survey Corps. She managed to escape by calling out for other titans to come consume her body, but possessed enough energy to shift again, capturing Eren.” Her eyes darted to Levi. “Levi and I managed to rescue him, but he was injured in the process.”

            Levi looked startled and confused. “I haven’t regained that memory yet.”

            “You were a total badass,” I told him, though I had been unconscious for the whole thing. “I mean, you had this little spinning technique that—”

            “Gave him a raging boner,” Hanji intervened. “I’m talking rock solid.”

            “Oh, my god.” I leaned sideways to smack her arm. “It did not.”

            “Wait,” Erwin said, staring between us. “Are you trying to tell me that you two were together in this supposed ‘past life’ you guys are telling me about?”

            “Yes,” Levi answered.

            “They had your approval, too,” Hanji added. “You damn fool.”

            Erwin pushed his chair back, coming to a stand. “I need a drink of water.” He left the dining room without saying anything else, and I wondered how he could be taking all of this. Even though he didn’t believe us yet, this still must’ve been hard to swallow.

            I turned to Levi. “Why did you come here without telling me?”

            He sighed. “I couldn’t just sit back and do nothing. I came here to tell him what we’re telling him now, but he wouldn’t shut up. He kept going on and on about why he did what he did. Why he thinks it’s a bad idea if I continue my relationship with you. I got fed up, and words were thrown, and to make things short: I would’ve ended up punching him in the face, if you hadn’t shown up when you did.”

            “What a mess.” I leaned my head down on my folded arms. “This is all just one big misunderstanding. I don’t know if his memories will be triggered. Nothing seems to be getting through to him.”

            My thoughts were interrupted when Farlan said, “Is it true that Annie was the Female Titan? She’s told me before, but hearing it from someone else just made it click. It’s a bit shocking to picture my baby sis being _that._ ” He pointed to the sketch Mikasa had drawn.

            “She was a monster,” said Mikasa, tone flat. “She killed several of our comrades in cold blood.” She looked off to the right. “Then again, we were all monsters. In the war we were fighting, we had to be. None of us sitting at this table are clean-handed—we all took a life, shed innocent blood. That’s what happened back then.”

            I squeezed my eyes shut. “Can’t say that I miss that part.”

            “I wonder where Jean is,” Armin said suddenly. “I…killed someone to save his life. I would like to see him again. He was a good soldier, a good comrade.”

            “That horse-face?” I scoffed. “He wanted in Mikasa’s pants.”

            Mikasa glowered at me. “Don’t say such things. I’d like to see him again, too. I’d like to see everyone again. They all deserve to live in a peaceful world such as this. They fought hard enough for that.”

            I thought of all the people that I had once fought beside, of all the things that we had endured. It was scary to think about how strong we had to be back then, how brave we had to be in situations that now seemed completely unbelievable. Even with my memories of the titans intact, I couldn’t imagine facing one today. My body wasn’t as strong as it once was, and I doubted I’d be able to use the 3D Maneuver Gear now.

            Everyone sitting around me had been molded into a soldier in our other life, willing to face whatever obstacle stood in their way. Now, it almost seemed impossible to think of the things we’d been through: titans eating humans; killing them by cutting a piece of flesh off the nape of their necks; soaring through the skies using gear that required the utmost physical strength. How had any of us survived in a world like that?

            “Do you think anything remains of the titans?” I asked.

            “God, I hope not,” Armin said. “To think of that happening again is frightening.”

            Hanji tapped her chin with her index finger, looking thoughtful. “There has to be something left of them, of the people from back then. If any of our gear happened to be in a marsh, it’d be like new. No oxygen could’ve gotten to it in there.”

            “Or in a deep cave,” Armin added. “Maybe one day we could go looking, but I’m not too sure if I’d like to see any remains of the titans. I remember enough about them to know that I wouldn’t want to come into contact with them ever again.”

            Farlan sighed. “Damn, when you really think about it, we sound insane. How do we expect Erwin to believe this? There’s no way. I remember, and even I find it hard to believe it ever happened.”

            Levi leaned his head down on the table. “Why did the one person who doesn’t remember a thing have to decide he doesn’t like our relationship?” He laughed, but the sound held no humor in it. “This is fucking ridiculous, because it happens to be the one person who would be willing to sacrifice anything to see his way through. Erwin doesn’t care if he loses me as a friend in the process of all this, because if he believes that what he’s doing is the right thing, then he won’t back down, no matter what.”

            “We’ll keep talking to him until his memories are triggered,” Hanji said.

            “What will trigger them, though? What haven’t we told him already?”

            Why did this feel so hopeless? Why did I feel like I was fighting a losing battle? Even if I was willing to sacrifice anything to be with Levi, what good would that do if Erwin revealed our relationship to the cops? I knew that he hadn’t made an empty threat. He had to have proof on us, and there was no way I could deny that I had had sexual relations with a minor. I knew how old Levi was the whole time, and since we had done it before he was sixteen—the legal age of consent—I’d definitely serve some serious jail time.

            I turned to look at him, at the boy that was once my past lover. Why were we destined to fall in love with each other, just to be torn apart in such a brutal way? If Erwin didn’t believe us here today, then I’d go two years without being with Levi. There wasn’t a way to be around him without temptation getting in our way, and I was sure Erwin would check up on him, because he was thorough on his threats.

            So this is what it came down to? Six years of searching, for what? To find him? To hold him? To kiss him? To become one with him, just to lose him all over again?

            When Erwin came striding into the room again, I felt nothing but despair. Here I was, sitting in his dining room, completely at his mercy. I hated it more then I could ever explain.

            He sat down opposite me, eyes moving up to my face. “I need time to think about all this. I think I deserve that much. You have dropped a lot on my plate, and I can’t just give you an answer today.”

            “Then, what?” Levi said. “Do we still have to abide by your ‘rules’? Do we still have to stay away from each other?”

            Erwin sighed. “Yes. Until I have an answer, then I’d like for our agreement to go on. After all, this all seems a little crazy. I can’t give Eren the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know him.”

            “You know me!” Hanji shouted. “Why can’t you trust me?” She looked desperate, on the verge of tears. “Don’t do this to them, Joe. Don’t hurt them like this. I don’t even think you have the slightest clue how much they love each other, and you doing this to them…” She scrunched her eyes. “Just, please reconsider.”

            He dropped his eyes, unable to meet hers as he muttered, “I can’t do that. I know you’ll hate me for this, but I have to trust my intuition. I will think about what you’ve told me here today, though.”

            She slapped him hard across the face. “Your intuition is wrong!”

            “Hanji,” I said, but she didn’t listen, slapping him with enough force to jerk his head to the right. “That’s not going to help.”

            “Nothing will,” she bit out. “He’ll think about it, but he still won’t believe any of us. He’s going to hurt my short baby, which means I’m going to hurt him.” Before I could react, she hurled herself at him, knocking him and his seat back on the floor.

            The rest of us scrambled to our feet, rushing over to where she was beating him with her fists. Farlan was the first to get to her, wrapping his arm around her waist to pull her off.

            “No!” she said passed clenched teeth. “Let me hurt him!” She thrashed against his hold, kicking and flailing her arms. She kept pointing at Erwin with a look of utter disgust. “I don’t know you anymore! You’re selfish! You’re not doing this for Levi’s own good, because you’re hurting him in doing this! He loves Eren! Not you!”

            At that, Erwin jumped to his feet. “I’ve told you what I had to tell you. Now get out of my house. I will think about this, but I won’t sit here and let you hit me in my own home.”

            “Fuck you!” she shouted. “Fuck you, Joe! You’re not Erwin. Erwin wouldn’t do something like this to his friend. You’re just a boy who wears his face! You’re not him!”           

            He gritted his teeth. “Get out.”

            After I helped Farlan haul Hanji out of Erwin’s house, we stood outside on the sidewalk. Before I had entered his house, I had had such hope. I hoped against all odds that he would believe us. Now I felt like a deflated balloon, no longer able to float up in the sky. What was I supposed to do now? Three days without Levi had felt like torment, and now I had to go home without him yet again.

            When Levi came out of Erwin’s house, he looked like I felt. I wanted to reassure him that everything would be okay, but not even I was sure of that. There was no saying what Erwin would decide, but I refused to believe that we didn’t have a chance of convincing him. I wouldn’t stop until I triggered his memories. After all, he had brought this upon himself. If he would’ve left us alone, he could’ve lived in this world without remembering what he had lived through in another life.

            Once Levi reached me, he wrapped his arms around my neck, sagging against me. “This is bullshit. This is complete and total bullshit. What are we supposed to do now? Tell me, Eren. What are we… What can we do?”

            “I wish I had an answer to give you,” I said. “But I really don’t. I don’t know what to do. Right now, we just have to wait it out until we can think of something else to tell him.”

            “So that’s it? We just let him do this?”

            “He hasn’t given us much of a choice.” I sighed, feeling defeated. “Come on. I’ll take you home.”

            We didn’t even say good-bye to everyone, just walked in silence over to where I had parked my car. There wasn’t anything to say. I felt empty. There were no comforting words I could provide him with, because I wasn’t sure how this would end. I wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

            As I got into the driver’s seat, I forced myself to focus on the task at hand, to stop thinking, if only for a moment. What had just happened still hadn’t settled in, and I was sure that once it did, I would feel worse than I did right now. Before, there was a glimmer of hope, because we hadn’t told Erwin our story. Now he knew, and it hadn’t made a difference.

            “Do you regret it?” Levi asked, looking out the window.

            I snapped out of my reverie, glancing over at him. “Regret what?”

            “Being with me? Finding me in this life?”

            “How could you ask something like that?” I reached over and took his hand in mine. “Of course I don’t regret it. I could never regret being with you. I’ve been waiting for you my whole life.” He pulled his hand away from mine to drop his head in it. I couldn’t see his eyes, but I could make out the snarl that was lifting the corners of his mouth. “Levi?”

            “I refuse to be weak,” he snapped. “I refuse to sit back and take this shit. He can have his way for now, but he’s dead wrong if he thinks I’m going to take this without a fight. I’m going to fight fire with fire.” He turned his head to look at me, and he looked more like Corporal Levi then he ever had in this life before. “I’m going to beat him at his own game. If he wants to blackmail us, I’ll find something to blackmail him with.”

            “Levi—”

            “My mind is set, Eren. I made myself a promise when you died, and I’m going to keep that promise.”

            I stopped at a red light. “What was the promise?”

            “That if we were to ever meet again in a different life, as different people, I wouldn’t let you go. I wouldn’t lose you, not again. I owe it to us to keep that promise.”

            For the rest of the drive, I kept quiet, thinking over what he had said. What could he possibly find on Erwin? Erwin was just a regular kid now. Whatever it was, it would have to big enough to convince him to agree not to report our relationship to the police.

            By the time we got to Levi’s house, my head was a jumbled mess, but I pushed all thoughts aside as he leaned over the center console to kiss me.

            “This isn’t good-bye,” he whispered against my lips. “There isn’t a good-bye for us.”

            I looked up at him, into those steel-gray eyes. I didn’t know what to say. Even if this wasn’t good-bye, it still marked the start that I wouldn’t be able to see him until this whole thing was settled. It seemed he didn’t expect an answer from me, because he kissed me one more time before getting out of the car. I watched him run to his front door, feeling my heart ache with every beat it took.

            Unable to move, I sat outside his house for a long while, just staring at the front door. I don’t know what I was waiting for, but when it didn’t come, I shifted into first gear and drove down the street until I turned onto the main road. My mind went into autopilot, and I was surprised that I made it back to my apartment complex in one piece.

            My legs felt like lead as I walked up to my backdoor, hearing nothing, seeing nothing. Every part of me was tired and longed to be free of consciousness.

            “Hey,” Armin said when I walked inside. He was nothing more then a blur in my vision. “You just left without a word. I was really worried about you. Are you okay? Eren?”

            “I just need to sleep.” I managed to make it to my room before I collapsed onto my bed, pulling the blanket up and over my head, smelling Levi’s scent mingled with my own. That’s when I remembered…

            I chucked the blanket off of me, scouring my room until I found the shirt he had taken off before we went to the photo shoot. He had worn my shirt instead, so this had been left behind.

            With it in hand, I climbed back into bed, holding it against my chest as I fell into a deep sleep.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um…I'm sorry. I gave you guys false hope that they were reunited. Omg, slay me where I stand! It's Christmas. I finished this on Levi's birthday. How could I do this? IDK!
> 
> Don't hate me. Or do. *sobs*
> 
> Okay, I'm going to go, but thank you for the comments, kudos, and all your support. I love you all!


	26. Lead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's three in the morning. I should be in bed right now, but instead I'm sitting here at my computer writing this chapter. You see how I bleed for you guys? This fanfic was built on sleepless nights and burning eyes! *sobs while staring at the computer screen*
> 
> Okay, I'm exaggerated by nature, but I fucking love this chapter. It just leads to a whole bunch of good shiz, so I hope you guys enjoy it. (You will, or I'll end you *smiles sweetly*)
> 
> As you can see, I desperately need some sleep. Please forgive me, and go read. :)

After two days of moping, I decided that lying around wasn’t going to resolve anything. I needed to take action, if I was going to make a difference. Levi was out there trying to find information on Erwin to blackmail him with, and here I was, sitting my ass down. Well, not anymore. I was going to change that right now, and I was going to need help in doing it.

            Armin was reluctant to become my partner in crime, but after telling him my plan, which was rather dangerous, he decided to hop on board—basically because he didn’t want me to end up getting arrested for being an idiot. Not that I was planning on being one, but I needed to convince him somehow.

            So here we sat in the kitchen on a Saturday afternoon, thinking of things that could trigger Erwin’s memories from a past life he could no longer remember. We didn’t know him too well, not like Levi and Hanji did, but there had to be something we could do. I was done sitting back and letting him ruin my relationship. It wasn’t like me to take defeat, not without giving my all beforehand.

            “I just don’t know,” Armin said after hours of brainstorming. “We didn’t know him on a personal level in our past life, Eren. We don’t have anything.”

            I sighed, shoving the notebook in front of me away. “So, we have to do what Levi’s doing, then. We have to find something on him in this life.”

            “I’m not sure if that’s going to work. From what Hanji has told me about him, he’s a straight A student, with straight-laced parent’s.”

            “There has to be something. Everyone has a secret.” I dropped my head in my hands, wracking my brains for anything we could use on Joe Wilson. Damn, why did he have to be seventeen years old? If he were older, I could just beat the shit out of him. That wouldn’t be very smart, but I was running out of options. Plus the idea of pummeling him didn’t sound bad at all.

            Armin took a sip of his green tea, staring down at the doodles I had drawn. “We could try gathering up all the information we know about our past life. We don’t know what will trigger his memories, but I’m sure something we saw, something we experienced can do it. Maybe we should custom make a Survey Corps uniform.”

            My head snapped up as hope flooded me. “Yes! That’s a great idea. Seeing one of us in our old uniform should spark something. It _has_ to.”

            “I’m not too sure, but it’s worth a shot.” He drank up the last of his tea, pushing his seat back to stand up. “I’ve never asked this before, and you’ve never shared it with me, so I thought you didn’t want anyone to know, but”—he looked over at me, blonde hair falling over his blue eyes—“what triggered your memories, Eren?”

            I had started regaining my memories at the age of fourteen, after my mom was in a severe car accident. She had been in critical condition for days, and the doctors weren’t sure if she was going to pull through. It was then, while I looked down at her unconscious face, that my first memory from my past life resurfaced. It was of my mother, of Carla Yeager. The image of her trapped under the debris that had once been our house haunted me for years.

            “My mom almost died when I was fourteen,” I said.

            His eyes went wide, and he covered his mouth with his hand. “I’m so sorry, Eren. I didn’t mean to make you remember that, or of…Carla.”

            “It’s okay, Armin. I think of her all the time. I always wonder if she’s out there somewhere. I think I’d like to see her, if she was. Even if she doesn’t remember me, that would be all right. I just want to know if she’s happy.”

            He dropped his hand to put it over mine. “I’m sure she is.”

            “You know, sometimes it really hurts to remember, because so many people from back then are just…gone. We don’t know what has become of them, or if they were reborn in this life.” I looked up at him. “Do you sometimes wish you didn’t remember?”

            “When I first started remembering, yes, because I was alone,” he said. “But after I found you, everything was a lot better. Then we found Levi and Hanji, and I was happy to see them, happy to remember them. Now we have Mikasa, and I’m grateful to have the opportunity to be here in this life with you guys.”

            I nodded, agreeing with him. “Yeah. I don’t know what I’d do without the two of you.”

            He moved his hand up to place it on my shoulder. “We’ll think of something to confront Erwin with. All of us are unwilling to let him tear you away from Levi." With that, he left the kitchen. 

            I stayed behind, sitting there thinking about a past that could still affect me two thousand years later. I couldn’t let Levi go. Even after death, we were reborn to find each other again in this peaceful world. To let someone tear that away from us was unacceptable. I may no longer be Eren Yeager, member of the Survey Corps, but I still possessed his tenacity, his strong will, and I sure as hell was going to use it.

            Sneaking out of the apartment when I was sure Armin was in his room, I drove over to Hanji’s house at an illegal speed. I knew she was the only one willing to help me in any way possible. It was a bad idea to get her involved, that much I knew, but I was officially passed the point of caring. I had to do something.

            Pulling up in front of her house, I took my cell phone out of my pocket, dialing her number.

            She answered on the second ring. “Eren?”

            “I’m outside,” I said, not even bothering to shut off the car, or to give her any type of explanation.

            She didn’t even ask any questions on why I had just shown up at her house. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

            Sure enough, she came running out a few minutes later. When she sat down in the passenger seat, I took off down her street. I didn’t want to talk parked out in front of her house, so I drove to the nearest vacant place, which happened to be a small neighborhood park.

            “Let’s talk here,” I told her, getting out of the car. She followed after me, staring at me in concern as I plopped down under a gazebo. “Has Levi found anything out? He hasn’t talked to me at all.” He never answered any of my calls, and hardly ever responded to my texts. Isabel kept assuring me it was because it was easier to be away from me this way, but I still found it hard to cope with.

            “Not yet,” she said, and then sighed, coming to sit down next to me. “I’m not sure if he ever will, Eren. Erwin isn’t the type of guy to reveal his dirty secrets, not even to us. He likes to keep them well hidden for this very reason.”

            I nodded. “That’s what I thought. So the only chance we have is thinking of something that will trigger his memories.”

            “Yeah. I’ve been thinking about it nonstop. I was sure hearing about his dad would do it, but obviously I was wrong. It has to be something he didn’t tell anyone. He never liked revealing his weaknesses.”

            “Fuck. To think that I actually used to look up to him.” I laughed, shaking my head. “I never thought it would come to something like this. When I found Levi, I thought things would be different, that everything would turn out okay. Now we have this threat hanging over our heads, and I really don’t know what to do anymore.”

            She rubbed my shoulder. “I’ll think of something, Eren. I promise I will.”

            I turned my head to look at her. “I’m about to do something really stupid.”

            “Like what?” Unlike everyone else, she didn’t look worried at my outburst. She had always liked when I lost control in our other life, always liked to see what I was capable of. I wondered if she was still that way, just waiting for me to reach my limit.

            “How do you feel about following him?”

            “I feel like we should get started right now,” she said, standing up, not wasting a second of time. “He has tennis practice on Saturday’s, so he should be at the tennis court on Mill Avenue. If we hurry, we can catch him leaving.” She ran toward my car, turning around to shout, “Well, what are you waiting for?”

            I got to my feet, knowing that what I was about to do was idiotic as hell. If he caught us following him, things could go bad, but what else was I supposed to do? Maybe if he didn’t notice us right away, we’d be able to see him doing something that he didn’t want us to see.

            Fifteen minutes later, I stopped a little ways from the tennis court Hanji said Erwin was practicing in. We waited in silence, our eyes glued to the front entrance. It didn’t take long for the double doors to swing open, emitting a string of young men. Erwin was easy to spot amongst them, being the tallest of them all.

            I watched him intently as he walked across the street, laughing with his friends. God, I wanted to punch him in the face. Fuck him. Here he was laughing away when I was stuck in misery because of him. I swear if Hanji wasn't in the car with me, I’d show him just how much he deserved to get his teeth kicked in.

            “That asshole,” she suddenly hissed beside me. “The next time I see him at school, I’m going to kick him in the balls so hard. Wait, where is he going?”

            “He’s getting into that car.” I glanced at her. “Does he usually go home after tennis practice?”

            She shook her head. “No. He’s going out with friends. Follow him.”

            Once the car Erwin was in drove passed us, I did a U-turn and kept a good ways behind them. This was starting to feel like a disaster in the making. Erwin was a relatively good kid. What in the world was I going to catch him doing with a group of friends? Maybe it was best if I just turned around and went back home.

            “I don’t know about this,” I confessed.

            Hanji’s head whipped in my direction. “Don’t pussy out on me now. This is a good idea. You never know what he could do alone with friends.”

            I sighed, keeping my eyes on the black SUV four cars ahead of us. “You better not tell Levi about this.”

            “I won’t. Don’t worry.”

            I was beginning to think they’d never stop when they suddenly turned into a fast food restaurant parking lot. Great, we followed them so we could watch them chow down. How ridiculous. This wasn’t going to work. If he were going to do anything he didn’t want anyone knowing, he’d do it when he wasn’t out with friends. Like Hanji said: He didn’t want anyone knowing his weaknesses.

            When I drove passed the food joint, Hanji said, “Wait, he’s back there.”

            “I know.”

            “So why aren’t you going there?”

            “We’re not going to figure anything out like this. If he’s keeping a secret, he won’t be out in public exposing it. Like you said before, he’d keep it well hidden from everyone.”

            She leaned back in her seat. “Why does he have to be so sneaky? He probably wouldn’t even keep it hidden in his own house. I hate what he has us doing.”

            I gripped the steering wheel, wanting to slam my fist against it, but I resisted the urge. “We’re just desperate and grasping at straws right now. He probably knows we are, too. That bastard.” It took everything I had not to jerk the car around and confront him in front of all of his friends. How I wish I could wipe that smug smile off of his face and show him that it wasn’t this easy to render me useless.

            “Levi’s calling me,” Hanji said suddenly, tearing me away from my train of thought. “Keep quiet.” She answered her phone with a smile on her face. “Hey, short baby. What’s up?” Her eyebrows pulled together after a few seconds passed by. “What the fuck are you doing on the other side of town by yourself?! Call Isabel or Farlan right now. Now, Levi! That’s a damn order. I don’t give a shit if you have a lead on something. It’s dangerous on that side of town… You know what, I’m on my way. I’m with Eren.”

            Before she could even hang up, I said, “Tell me where to go.”

            I didn’t know how fast I could make my car go until Hanji informed me that Levi was in one of the most dangerous parts of town. I’m talking about people getting murdered by gangs for no reason whatsoever, and getting kidnapped by drug lords, and no, no, fuck no. I had to get to him. He was out of his mind. Why in the fuck would he go there by himself? Why wouldn’t he call up Farlan? I didn’t care if he was a thug in our past life. He couldn’t take out a whole gang of people by himself, if need be.

            “I’m having a heart attack,” I informed Hanji.

            She patted the hand that had a deathly grip on the gear stick. “Don’t worry. We’ll get to him before anything bad can happen. He’ll be all right.”

            “What if we don’t? What if something happens, and… I think I’m going to throw up.”

            “Calm down, Eren. Levi isn’t a weakling.”

            I took a deep breath. “I know he’s not, but even he can be overwhelmed. I swear if anything happens to him because of what Erwin is doing, I’m going to kill him.”

            “You won’t even get the chance to,” Hanji said. “I’ll get to him before you. Now calm down, and drive.”

            I felt sick to my stomach, driving well over the speed limit, but I didn’t care. If a cop decided to pull me over right now, I’d end up on the news, because I definitely wouldn’t stop to receive no damn ticket, not right now. I would gladly be a part of a high-speed chase, if it meant getting to Levi in time.

            “Where did he say he was?” I asked once I got to the edge of Glendale. Everyone we passed on the streets stared at my car with a look of distaste on their faces. They could tell I was an outsider, and it wouldn’t surprise me if I were followed.

            “Hold on, let me call him.” She grabbed her phone from off her lap, pushing several buttons on her screen before she held it up to her ear. After a few seconds that felt like hours to me, she said, “Levi. Are you all right? Okay, good. Tell me where you are.” She pointed to the right, and I immediately swerved in that direction. “What’s the street name? We’ll be there soon. Don’t you dare move. Stay put, you hear me?” She hung up, directing me to where Levi said he was.

            This was not a place to be alone at. Even with Hanji next to me, I felt uneasy. We were definitely going to run into some trouble. There was no way you came into a part of town like this unscathed. Someone was going to confront us, and I just hoped that I’d be able to defend Hanji when they did.

            I passed several abandoned buildings as I drove down a deserted street, my heart hammering in my chest. Why was Levi here? What lead did he have that would make him drop everything and come here alone? He hadn’t even called anyone to tell them where he was going. If something had happened before he called Hanji, we probably would’ve never found out about it. I shuddered at the thought.

            “Right there,” Hanji shouted, pointing to a building near a dock. “He said it was the one on the left. Do you see him?”

            I scanned every inch of the building with my eyes, but I didn’t see him. In fact, I didn’t see anyone. It looked like a ghost town, which didn’t give me a good feeling. Places like these were never empty.

            “No,” I said, coming to a stop. “Call him.”

            She was in the process of doing what I had asked when suddenly the backdoor flew open. I couldn’t even react, so I felt a wave of relief wash over me when I saw that it was Levi. I drank up the sight of him, taking note of his windblown hair and flushed cheeks from the cold weather.

            “I saw him,” he said, looking excited. “I saw him! Do you know what this means?”

            I looked at him in confusion. “What are you even talking about?”

            Instead of giving me an answer, he said, “We’re going to have to get out. If he sees us in this car, he’s going to make a run for it. We’re going to have to follow him on foot. So far, he hasn’t spotted me yet.”

            Before I could even question what he was going on about, he was out of the car. Hanji and I exchanged wary glances, but didn't waste a second to follow after him. I hoped that no one decided to break into my vehicle while we were on this wild good chase.

            As we made our way down the side of the building, Levi’s head never moved, but his eyes kept darting from left to right, taking in our surroundings. I’d never seen him like this before, and if we weren’t in this strange situation that required me to focus, I’d be completely turned on by it. So it seems that his thug side had finally made an appearance.

            “There he is,” Levi whispered, grabbing hold of Hanji’s hand to shove her behind him. “You’re too loud. Pick up your feet.”

            “Where is he?” I asked, unable to see anyone. The place was eerily quiet except for the sound of our breathing.

            Levi didn’t respond to me, directing us down a narrow alleyway that held several dumpsters against either side of it. The sight of them made me want to turn right back around. These were the type of dumpsters that you found dead bodies in. I wouldn’t be surprised, judging by the stink, if there were some inside of them right now.

            Oh, God!

            “Okay,” Hanji whispered. “This is starting to creep me out. I can’t see anyone.”

            Levi held a finger to his mouth. “Lower your voice. He’s right in front of us. I think he knows we’re following him. Be prepared, because he’s probably leading us into a trap.”

            If that wasn’t a red flag to stop, then I didn’t know what was. I reached out to take him by the arm, yanking him back toward me. He glared at me over his shoulder, but I wasn’t about to let him or Hanji go into a trap that could leave them injured. This was insane.

            “Let go,” Levi hissed, tugging on his arm.

            “No. We’re leaving. This is dangerous.”

            To my surprise, he maneuvered his arm out of my grip, making me realize that he was a lot stronger than he let on. In shock, I could only stare after him as he took off in a sprint down the alleyway, leaving Hanji and me behind. Then my body caught up with my brain, and I ran after him.

            This either had to be one hell of a lead, or Levi had gone off the deep end. Either way, I had to stop him before he got himself hurt. I needed to get him back into my car, so we could all get out of here before something bad happened. Being here wasn’t safe for any of us.

            “He went that way,” Hanji said, jumping over a fallen dumpster.

            When we made it to the end of the alleyway, I stopped, looking in every direction. That’s when a pair of hands grabbed my arms from behind, yanking them back to pin my wrists against my tailbone. I tried to twist out of their grip, but they had a strong hold on me.

            “EREN!” Hanji screamed, kicking her legs as a tall man grabbed her and held her against him.

            “Don’t you fucking touch her!” I shouted.

            The man holding her grinned at me, revealing a row of yellow teeth. “Oh, is she your gal?” He traced the pad of his index finger down her cheek. “She’s a pretty one. Mind if I borrow her?”

            “You son of a bitch!” I pulled against the hands holding me, which caused the person to kick me hard in the side, knocking me down onto my knees. “Where the fuck is he? What did you guys do with him?”

            The person holding me laughed. “The young boy who was following our leader? Why, he’s right there.”

            My head snapped up to see Levi being held by a man wearing a black cloak. The hood was pulled over his head, hiding his face in shadows.

            “Let go of him,” I said, “or I’ll kill you.” That earned me another kick, this time to the face. I fell over on my side, tasting blood in my mouth. I spit a mouthful of it out, watching it land on the sidewalk in a small puddle of red. My eyes moved up again, and I snarled.

            The man holding Levi laughed, and it sounded familiar. “You haven’t changed, Eren.”

            I narrowed my eyes, wishing I could make out his face. “Who the fuck are you?”

            “You don’t recognize the sound of my voice?” He shoved Levi forward, sending him sprawling. Then he pushed back the hood of his cloak, and any words I had to say died away on my lips. “Recognize me now?”

            My mouth fell open in shock. All I could do was stare at him.

            It was Hanji who spoke his name: “Mike?”

           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, another cliffhanger? Yes indeed. (¬‿¬)
> 
> It had to be done, buuuuut look for a Riren one shot story from me soon (like a couple days, or maybe a week. IDK!), because I have this idea in my head that won't go away, so I need to write it out. Subscribe to my author page to receive an email when it's up! 
> 
> Anyway, tell me your thoughts on this chapter, and thank you for the comments, kudos, and the love! Ya'll are my babies, so have this heart: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥


	27. Out of Options

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's something that I need to say. It's the golden rule we were all taught in kindergarten: If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all. I will no longer take the time to reply to insults. You're honestly not worth my time. If you're no longer enjoying this fic, then by all means, go find one that you'll like. 
> 
> I am not getting paid to write this, and am writing it in my spare time. At any given moment, I can simply stop. I have every right to do that, so don't think for one second that I owe you anything. Don't try to shove that in my face. Yes, I am grateful that you've continued to read this fic, but no, I will not listen to your negativity because of that. 
> 
> That's all I have to say on that matter.
> 
> For those of you who are still loving this fic, this chapter is for you. I hope you enjoy it. :)

Mike paid no attention to Hanji, instead coming over to where I lay to pick me up by the collar of my shirt. He lifted me up until my knees settled on the cement ground beneath me, and then he loosened his grip, signaling for one of his men to restrain me once again. I couldn’t even react, only stare at him as I felt hands scoop up my wrists to pin them against my back.

            Mike jerked his chin in Levi’s direction, and immediately another of his men stepped forward and grabbed him. Levi didn’t even try to move away, his eyes fixed on the man that was once a member of the Survey Corps like us. He seemed so different from how he was back then.

            “I want them all on their knees,” he ordered. Hanji yelped as the man restraining her gave her a swift kick to knock her down. To my surprise, Mike looked pissed at that. “Hey, not so rough.” The man in question simply nodded, patting Hanji on the top of the head as if that was a means to apologize for his harsh behavior.

            “What are you going to do to us, Mike?” Hanji asked, staring up at him with disbelief in her eyes. “You know us. I was your friend. Why are you doing this?”

            He peered down at her for a few seconds before he let out a sigh, giving a little shake of his head. “I’m sorry. You’re on my territory. I have a reputation to keep up. You shouldn’t have come here. Now”—he regarded his men—“I’ll be leaving. Bring them back to the warehouse. I have business to attend to before I deal with them.” With that, he walked around us, disappearing down the same alleyway we had gone through earlier.

            Take us to the warehouse? What was he planning on doing to us when he came back? I didn’t like the sound of any of these. By the way he was talking about this being his territory, he was some sort of drug lord. If that were the case, we were in some serious shit. It didn’t even matter that we knew him in another life, because right now, I felt like I didn’t know him at all.

            My eyes found Levi, and I tried to think up a plan that would allow us to escape Mike’s clutches. But my brain wasn’t providing me with anything useful, and before I could even try to piece my fragmented thoughts together, we were all being lugged to our feet.

            “Don’t give us any trouble now,” one of the men said. “Wouldn’t want to have to scratch up your pretty faces.”

            “Fuck you,” I spit out.

            The man’s dark eyes settled on me as he brushed strands of his greasy black hair away from his face. “Don’t make me add to those bruises on your face, boy.”

            Levi gave me a pleading look, and I bit my tongue against the next retort I wanted to throw in that man’s face. Like it would do me any good, anyway. We were stuck in this damn mess whether we liked it or not. 

            The men led us over to some planks that stretched from one end of a canal, to the other. Hanji was the first to cross them, never once looking down at the murky water below her. Levi was shoved onto the planks after her, but his stoic expression remained in place as he crossed them.

            “Don’t move around, ya hear?” the man holding me said, tightening his grip around my wrists. He had dirty blonde hair that clung to his forehead, and beady blue eyes that narrowed as he glared me down. “You seem to be the trouble maker of the bunch.”

            I yanked my arms forward. “Just hurry up.”

            He kept his gaze on me as I stepped onto the first plank, but he was wrong if he thought I was going to put up any type of resistance now. I didn’t feel like falling into the foggy green water below me. I wouldn’t be able to keep afloat with the current as strong as it was. Otherwise I would have entertained the idea.

            When we reached the other side, the men ushered us into an abandoned building. The place was completely empty, aside from two people who slept in a corner. At least I hoped they were sleeping. They were both deathly thin.

            No one spoke when we exited the other side of the building, where a huge open field covered in trash stretched out before us. Behind it was a rundown cement building that was loitered with graffiti. The top of it had started crumbling away from lack of care, and all the windows had been shattered, giving it an eerie look.

            “There she is,” the man holding Hanji said. “That’s where we’ll be holding you up.”

            “It looks filthy,” Levi muttered under his breath. He glanced back at me then, and there wasn't a trace of fear on his face. He looked calm, completely at ease. It reminded me too much of his former self, and I wondered what he was thinking. Was he devising some sort of plan? “Hey, you.” His eyes moved up to the man restraining me. “For every mark you left on Eren, I’m going to pull out one of your teeth.”

            The guy barked out a laugh, applying more pressure to my wrists. “I’ll be waiting, kid. You don’t seem so tough. Now shut up, and c’mon. We ain’t got all day to be dealing with you three.”

            The men shoved us forward, and I had half a mind to twist out of my captor's grip. I knew it wouldn’t do me any good, though. Even if I managed to break his hold on me, there wasn’t a way for me to leave with both Levi and Hanji. It didn’t help that we were on their turf. It wouldn’t surprise me any if more of them were laying in wait.

            I kicked aside several tin cans as I walked, my eyes trained on the building ahead. Someone would notice that we were missing. Whether it was Petra, Armin, or Isabel—one of them had to notice our absence. They’d call the police, and would probably come out looking for us themselves.

            Even when it was a slim chance for our escape, I held onto it with everything I had.

            “Here we are.” The man holding Hanji spun her around so she was facing us. He lifted his leg, and kicked open a tattered, makeshift wooden door.

            They shuffled us inside, and I was immediately hit with the intense smell of rot. It smelt like rotten dairy, or something far worse than that. Were they seriously expecting us to stay in here until Mike came back? Why couldn’t they just tie us up outside, where we could breath in fresh air?

            The only light came from the sun filtering in through the broken windows. It illuminated the walls, which looked like at one point they had been beige, but now they were too dirty to tell, and a lot of the paint was chipping off.

            “Go fetch the rope, Vince,” the man holding Levi said.

            Suddenly a man with slicked back brown hair stepped out of the shadows, mumbling under his breath as he walked into another room. A couple minutes later, he came back holding a roll of rope. He stepped up to Hanji, cutting off a long piece of it with a pocketknife. When he had it in hand, he tied her arms behind her back, making her wince as he knotted it against her skin.

            When we were all tied up, they ordered us to sit against the wall. None of us resisted—just went and sat down like they instructed us to. They made sure we weren't close to anything we could use to cut ourselves free before they left to go into the other room. Vince stayed behind, stepping back into the shadows that seemed to swallow him whole.

            “What now?” I asked.

            Levi sighed. “We wait for Mike. I have to talk to him.”

            Hanji lifted her hands up to try to scratch her back and failed. “Ugh, this is agony.” Her eyes flicked over to Levi. “Are you going to tell us why we’re in this mess? How did you even find Mike? Just tell me what’s going on already!”

            “Keep it down,” he whispered. “I was doing research on Erwin to try to find something to blackmail him with. It was then that I remembered how he received a gift every year on his birthday from his ‘uncle’—an uncle that he had never met before, nor was able to contact. That didn’t sit well with me, so I looked into it. Turns out, Erwin’s supposed uncle is Mike.” He leaned his head back against the wall, shutting his eyes. “Mike has been watching over him.”

            “What?!” Hanji screeched. “This whole time? Why didn’t he ever contact _us_? We knew him, too. I feel so betrayed.” She pouted, staring off to the side.

            “He knew Erwin a lot longer."

            “That still doesn’t explain why you risked your life to come here,” I muttered, rubbing my wrists together in hopes to loosen the rope confining them.

            Levi's eyes slid open. “I think Mike is the answer to our problems. That’s why I risked my life.” He looked over at me. “For us.”

            I stared at him for a long time, not knowing how to respond to that. All I could think to say was: “I love you.”

            He laughed at that. “Yeah, I love you, too. Hence the reason why I’m here.”

            Hanji gazed at us like we puppy dogs. “This is so precious. Where’s my phone when I need it?” Suddenly her eyes widened, and her mouth fell open in a big “O”. “Wait, are you thinking what I’m thinking? That Mike will be able to trigger Erwin’s memories? Oh, my god. Why didn’t I realize this earlier? Of _course_ Mike can. He was the closest to Erwin in our past life. This is gold.”

            I hated to be the party pooper here, but something had to be said. “I don’t think he’s going to cooperate with us. I mean, he hasn’t exactly been buddy-buddy with us. We _are_ sitting tied up in a warehouse, due to his order.”

            “He’ll listen to me,” Levi said. “I didn’t come here unprepared. Who do you think I am?” He raised an eyebrow, a smirk lifting one corner of his mouth. Damn, how could he be sexy at a time like this?

            Hanji wiggled around on her butt until she was facing him. “What did you come prepared with? Don’t just leave us in the dark.”

            He stared straight ahead of him as a determined expression settled on his face. “Tomorrow at two p.m., an email will be sent to Erwin giving him all the information I found on Mike. If Mike wants to prevent that, then he has to agree to my terms.”

            That was it? That was his supposed “preparation” for helping us get out of this situation? I felt sick to my stomach. Even if Mike cared about Erwin, would he agree to Levi’s terms just to prevent him from spilling his information? I wasn’t too sure about that, and this predicament that we were in needed us to be sure.

            “Trust me,” Levi said, interrupting my thoughts. “He doesn’t want Erwin to know.”

            “How do you know that?”

            “If you knew how much money he’s sent Erwin over the years, and how he’s been keeping a close watch on him from afar, then you’d be sure, too.”

            I was still skeptical about the whole thing, but decided to trust him nonetheless. What else could I do? We were stuck in this together.

            “How long do you think we’ll be here?” Hanji asked. “I have to piss something fierce. HEY!” She started smacking her feet on the bare cement flooring. “I NEED TO PEE!”

            One of the guys came out, looking severely annoyed as he stalked over to where she sat. He grabbed her by the arms, hoisting her up to a stand. “The bathroom is in the other room. Don’t think I’m going to untie you for you to take a whizz.”

            “I’m a lady,” Hanji said. “How am I going to wipe if you don’t untie me?”

            He shrugged, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. “How should I know? Just c’mon. Stop nagging already and go.”

            When Hanji returned from relieving herself, we all remained silent as we waited for Mike to come back from wherever he was. It took a surprising four hours for him to show up, and when he did, we weren’t given his immediate attention. He disappeared in the other room, and from the sound of it, he was chowing down some food.

            After what felt like hours to me, he returned to where we sat, dragging a chair behind him. He set it down in front of us, taking a seat in it.

            “So,” he began, “whose idea was this?”

            “Mine,” Levi said right away.

            Mike nodded. “I should’ve known. Why did you come here? I don’t believe it was because you knew me in another life. If that were the case, you would’ve handled the situation in a different manner.”

            “I’m here to talk about Erwin.”

            At that, Mike’s eyes narrowed. “What about him?”

            “He doesn’t remember our past, but that hasn’t stopped you from being a part of his life. You’ve been sending him money and gifts since he was ten years old. He thinks you’re his uncle on his mother’s side, but has no idea that you were once his best friend, his right hand in combat.”

            Mike sat back, his gaze never faltering. “He doesn’t need to remember that I was his right hand in combat. He has a good life. I’d like to keep it that way. Remembering a past as painful as ours isn’t worth it.”

            “It is to me!” Levi snapped, leaning forward. “You died before mine and Eren’s relationship got out. We found each other again in this life, and Erwin is preventing us from being together.”

            For a long time, Mike just stared at him. Then he sighed, shaking his head. “How could I possibly help you?”

            “Trigger his memories. It’s the only way he’ll understand.”

            As soon as the words left Levi's mouth, Mike stood up, lacing his fingers behind his back. “No. I won’t do that. I’m sorry he’s standing in the way of your relationship, but triggering his memories isn’t an option.”

            Hanji surprised us all by leaping to her feet. “Why not?! You don’t know him like we do. He’s not Erwin anymore. He’s this selfish, spoiled rich kid. Erwin wouldn’t like this.”

            “You're right. He isn’t Erwin anymore,” Mike said. “You need to understand that. Unfortunately for all of us, our memories were triggered, but we aren’t those people anymore. We may look like them, but we’re no longer in that time. If you didn’t possess your memories, you wouldn’t be in this predicament right now. You’d be off living a normal life. That’s what Erwin deserves, and that’s what I’m going to give him.”

            Levi pressed his back against the wall so he could come to a stand. “I’m selfish, because I’d do anything for Eren. So if you don’t agree to come see Erwin with us, then he’ll find out who you are.”

            “How’s he going to find out? You’re being held hostage.”

            “Tomorrow afternoon, an email will be sent to him containing all the information I found on you. Including your whereabouts. Oh, and trust me, he’ll come looking. He’s wondered about you since he received that first gift.”

            Before any of us could register what had happened, Mike’s hand was around Levi’s neck. He lifted him up until his feet were no longer touching the floor, then he said through clenched teeth, “Why would you do that? Why would you ruin his happiness for your own?”

            Levi gritted his teeth. “If you think he’s happy, you’re wrong. He thinks he’s”—he sputtered, and I finally came out of the shock that had settled over me—“in love…with me.” I went to kick Mike in the balls, but before I could even lift my leg up, he dropped Levi.

            “What did you just say?” he said.

            “I said he thinks he’s in love with me. You and I both know those feelings are misplaced. He feels close to me because of our past friendship, and he’s misconstruing those feelings for something more. I know what you two were in our past life, don’t deny it.”

            My eyes darted up to Mike’s face, and I could see the inner turmoil in his expression. He was deciding whether he wanted to go through with Levi’s terms. In that instant, I felt more selfish than I had in my entire life. He looked so torn, and I realized that he was a lot stronger than I ever could be. He had willingly given up Erwin, while I had selfishly clung onto Levi the moment I laid eyes on him.

            “It doesn’t matter,” Mike bit out. “Those feelings won’t last forever. Not like triggering his memories will. They’d haunt him for the rest of his life. I’d rather live alone then let him go through that.”

            “So then, what?” Levi glared at him. “You don’t care if he finds out about you?”

            “He won't find out about me. I’ll have to relocate, which will be quite a hassle for me, but it’s worth it.”

            “We won’t give up,” Hanji said. “We won’t stop until we’ve triggered his memories. Maybe mentioning you will do it. Or are you going to kill us to keep us silenced? The love you feel for him is the same love these two share. They’ve come together in this life. You’ve willingly stayed away from Erwin, but they’re being torn apart. I know you know how painful that is.”

            Mike took several steps away from us, his fingers curling in to create fists. “What is he using to come between you?”

            This time, I spoke up. “Our age difference.”

            He flinched at that, letting out a drawn out breath. “I see.”

            “So you’re not going to do anything?” Hanji demanded, stepping up to him. “Mike—”

            “Don’t call me that! I’m no longer Mike Zacharias.” He reached out to grab her by the arm, spinning her around. He untied her wrists, and then moved onto Levi. When he unknotted the rope around my wrists, loosening it enough for me to slip my hands out, he said, “I truly am sorry, Eren.” Then he turned his back to us. “Leave, and don’t ever return. Next time I won’t show you any kindness.”

            I stared after him, trying to form words that would bring him back, but there was nothing left for me to say. He wouldn’t change his mind. He wanted Erwin to go throughout his life in peace. I couldn’t deny him that. If I had been half as strong, I would have left Levi live out his life without remembering, but I had held onto him with every fiber of my being.

            “Come on,” I said. “Let’s get out of here.”

            Levi wrapped his hand around my arm, holding me in place. “We can’t leave. He’s our only hope, Eren. Don’t you get that? If we leave now, there won’t be another opportunity. He’s going to relocate, and I won’t be able to find him again.” His nails bit into my skin when I didn’t respond. “Are you listening to a word I’m saying?”

            “We can’t make him do anything.”

            His eyes widened, and he dropped his hand to his side. “So you’re giving up? Is that it, Eren? Are you done fighting for us? Or have you been fighting at all?!”

            Disbelief washed over me as his words hit home. “I’ve been fighting! I don’t know what else to do!”

            He shoved me. “Neither do I, but I’m still fucking trying! I came here after I stayed up all night finding out information about Mike. Tell me what you were doing? Sleeping?”

            I stared at him, my mouth dropping open before I snapped it shut.

            “Whoa, let’s calm down here,” Hanji said, holding her hands up. “You guys are both stressed about everything that has happened today. Let’s just go home, and sleep it off.”

            “And then?” Levi muttered. “I wake up, and what? Pretend everything is okay? Pretend that every second away from Eren isn’t fucking agony?” He turned toward me. “I would do anything for you. Yet here you are, giving up. And for what? To respect Mike’s wishes? What about me, dammit? What about _my_ wishes?”

            “Levi,” I began, but he didn’t give me a chance to finish before he rushed toward the door.

            “Fucking hell!” Hanji ran after him, and I was quick to follow, but by the time we got outside, he was already halfway down the field. She whirled around to face me. “What are you doing? Hurry the fuck up and go catch him!”

            I picked up my pace, running as fast as my feet could carry me. I thought of everything that had happened, and I realized that Mike was right. All this was happening because I had triggered Levi’s memories. If I would have kept my distance, he would be safe at home. He wouldn’t be feeling this pain.

            When I reached my car, he was standing beside it, his arms crossed over his chest. He didn’t bother to look up at me as I approached him.

            “Listen—”

            “No,” he said, cutting me off. “I’m done listening to your shit. Just take me home. That’s where you want me to be, anyway. Now open the fucking doors.”

            Unable to think of what to say, I did what he told me to do. Then I watched him slip into the backseat, all but welding the door shut behind him. I couldn't follow after him. Knowing myself, I would only make things worse.

            After Hanji caught up with us, I got inside the car and started it up. I didn't speak a word as I drove to Levi's house, and that didn't change when I finally reached it. My mouth felt glued shut as he threw open his door to step out onto the sidewalk, and all I could do was sit back and watch him make his way up his driveway.

            “I can’t even believe you right now,” Hanji said to me when he disappeared behind his front door. She didn't waste a second to get out of the car. “I’m staying with him tonight. Go home, Eren, and get your shit together.”

            When I was alone, my hands slid down the steering wheel until they came to land in my lap. Then my head fell forward, causing the horn to blare out in one long, endless sound.

            How could I get my shit together, when everything was falling apart?

             

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's not a cliffhanger. It's the end of a chapter. It's not my fault that I cannot provide this fic in book form, and give it to you in its entirety. Please don't sit here and talk about my cliffhangers. Once again, if you don't like this fic, please feel free to stop reading it. 
> 
> As always, thank you to the lovely people who have kept supporting me throughout this fic with kind words. You guys are the reason I am continuing this story. ❤


	28. Unforeseen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here we are. Officially two chapters until this fic is coming to an end. Idk how to feel about this. I'm both relieved and sad. Relieved, because I managed to complete a damn fan fiction! And sad because I'll be saying good-bye to my own personal versions of characters I really love. But let's not dwell on the sadness. Let's enjoy these last few chapters together. :)
> 
> Also, thank you for the support you guys gave me in the last chapter! I love you all!

I couldn’t go home. That was the only thing running through my mind as I drove around the city until my gaslight came on, urging me to pull into a gas station. I could blame Erwin for everything that was happening, could sit here and hate him, but none of that would do me any good. It wouldn’t change a thing.

            After I filled up my gas tank, I got back into my car to resume my endless driving. I didn’t even know where I was—somewhere far from home, far from my problems. Then that’s when it hit me. I was running away from my problems, hoping they would fix themselves when I knew they wouldn’t. None of this was going to get resolved, even if I confronted Erwin. So what was there left to do?

            There were a million thoughts racing through my mind, but I couldn’t focus on a single one as I made my way towards Erwin’s house. It was late, and most likely he wouldn’t open the door for me—not after what had happened the last time I saw him, but I was still going to try.

            I had approached this situation in every way I thought Erwin would listen to me. Now I was going to do it my way. My brain wasn’t even functioning as it should, but that couldn’t stop me. I was passed the point of caring for my own safety. When I found Levi, I told myself I would be willing to risk everything. That’s exactly what I was about to do.

            When I pulled up to Erwin’s house, it was a little passed midnight. I knew I couldn’t ring the doorbell, so I did the next best thing: I called him. Hanji had given me his number a few days ago, so I could get in contact with him after he thought about everything we had told him. Now I was putting it to use.

            He answered on the fourth ring. “Hello?”

            “I need to talk to you.”

            “Who… Is this Eren?”

            “That’s right,” I said. “It’s Eren. I’m parked outside your house. There are things we need to discuss.”

            There was a long pause before he murmured, “Do you even know what time it is?”

            “Yeah, it’s midnight. What? Is that too late for you? ‘Cause I’ll wait here until morning, if that’s the case. I’ve just been through hell because of you, so don’t think, for one second, that I’m leaving without talking to you first.”

            “I don’t know what you’re going on about, but if you want to talk to me, then I’ll be out in a second.” He hung up, and I shoved my phone back into my pocket, waiting.

            A few minutes later, he came walking out of his house. His eyes never left my car, and when he reached it, he didn’t hesitate to pull open the passenger door. As he sat down, I turned in my seat to face him, taking in the sight of a boy who knew nothing about our past. That’s how I was going to treat him from now on, too. To treat him like he was still Commander Smith was a waste of time.

            “What is this about?” Erwin asked. “If it’s about what we spoke about the other day, I still haven’t come up with an answer. It’s very hard to believe what you and the other’s told me.”

            “That’s not why I’m here. I’m here because I’m done letting you tear my relationship apart. Levi is never going to stop trying to find a way to get us back together, which is going to end up getting him hurt. I won’t let that happen.” I turned my head to look out the front windshield, staring into the darkness. “If you want to call the cops on me, go ahead. I’m not going to stay away from him, so you might as well put me behind bars, because that’s the only way you’re going to get me out of his life.”

            Silence settled over us, and I waited for him to say something, or get out of the car and leave it at that.

            “Why?” he said at last. “Why would you risk your freedom?”

            I sighed, letting my head fall back. “Life without Levi is…empty. He’s the love of my life. I’ve waited a long time to be with him again. To let you tear us apart is something I can’t do anymore. So I’d rather go down, and spend a few last days with him, then spend years being forced to stay away from him.”

            “But if you go to jail, you’d still be away from him.”

            I looked at Erwin then, unwilling to say anything but the truth. “I wouldn’t have a choice if I were in jail. Right now I do have a choice. And I choose to be with him despite the consequences.”

            He stared at me like I had gone crazy. “You’re insane.”

            “I might be, but what do you care? In the end, you get your way, don’t you? I won’t be around to interfere anymore. You can go in and try to get Levi to fall in love with you. Isn’t that what you want?”

            “He won’t love me, even with you out of the picture,” he said.

            There were things I could of thrown in his face for that. I could’ve lashed out, could’ve pleaded with him to change his mind, but I was so tired. I wanted to be with Levi, even if only for a moment. If that moment was spent with us being happy, and not fighting or worrying over the predicament Erwin had put us in, then I’d be satisfied.

            “Are we done here?” I asked.

            He let out a long breath of air, his body sagging. “You said that you just went through hell because of me. How’s that? By the looks of your face, you got into a tussle with someone.”

            I shut my eyes, welcoming the darkness. “You may not believe that we’re all reincarnated, but we are. Today Levi located someone from our past; someone he was hoping could trigger your memories. This someone wasn’t fond of his idea, though, because he wanted to protect you from the suffering that comes along with remembering a past life. So, here I am, all beat up—not giving up, but giving in.”

            Erwin ignored almost everything I had said, and blurted out, “Someone wants to protect me? Who?”

            “Why does it matter? It doesn’t change anything.”

            “Maybe it matters to me.” He clenched his hands into fists, his jaw straining as he gritted his teeth. “What if I were to agree to have my memories triggered? What then?”

            Hope threatened to break through the unhappiness I was feeling, but I beat it back down. After all, even if Erwin were to agree, we couldn’t trigger his memories. We had tried and failed, and the one person who could, wouldn’t.

            “It wouldn’t work,” I said. “None of us know any meaningful information that will trigger you to remember.”

            “What about that person you were talking about?”

            I shook my head. “He doesn’t want you to remember. I thought I already told you this.”

            “At least tell me his name,” Erwin urged. “Maybe that’ll do it.”

            “Why are you so eager all of a sudden?”

            He smacked his fists down on his legs. “Because maybe I feel like something in my life is missing! When I met Levi, things got a little better, but this emptiness I feel inside didn’t go away completely. I thought with time it would, but it’s only getting worse. It helped that Levi felt the same way. It made me feel less…alone. Then he found you, and he was so happy, and I was still miserable.”

            It took everything I had not to punch him. “So you didn’t even come between us because you have feelings for Levi? It was only so he wouldn’t be happy anymore?” I laughed long and hard. It sounded too loud in the cab of the car, but I couldn’t stop, because I had reached my breaking point. “Of course, because misery wants company, right? You selfish bastard.”

            Erwin reached out and grabbed me by the shoulders, shaking me back and forth. “Just tell me his name. Or tell me where to find him.”

            “Why should I?”

            “Because I want to remember,” he muttered. “Help me get to the person who wanted to protect me, and I’ll leave you and Levi alone. I’ll never bother you guys again.”

            I slammed my hands down on his wrists, taking hold of them to shove him back. “Even if you don’t end up remembering?”

            He stared at me through narrowed eyes. “Yes. So long as you help me find whoever you were talking about, I’ll leave you alone.”

            I sat back in my seat, shifting to first gear. “If you’re lying, you’ll regret it. Now buckle the fuck up. We have a long drive.”

            I drove faster than I have in all my life, hoping that Mike hadn’t left the warehouse yet. I was sure that no harm would come to me if I had Erwin with me, but even with the possibility of me getting hurt hanging over my head, I wasn’t backing down now. Not when I was so close to bringing this all to an end.

            The further I got from his house, the more uneasy Erwin became. He kept stealing glances at me, a look of panic on his face. I pretended not to see it, because I couldn’t turn back. Whether he liked it or not, we were going to go through with this.

            “Where exactly are we going?” he asked as I made my way down narrow streets.

            “You’ll see.”

            “Is this person dangerous?”

            There was no point in lying to him. “Yes, but he won’t hurt you. Trust me. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’s already given his men a description of you.” I gave him a sideways glance. “Don’t worry. If anyone ends up getting hurt tonight, it’ll be me.”

            He kept quiet for the rest of the drive, his eyes going wide when I pulled into the neighborhood that was Mike’s turf. There were still people wandering the streets, their gazes fixing on my car as I drove passed them. Some look interested, other’s looked annoyed that I didn’t stop when they tried to wave me down.

            “Are we almost there?” Erwin said, looking out the window, staring at all the people staring at us.

            “Yes. Just a few more miles.”

            When I reached the dock, I shut off my car, leaving us in utter darkness. There were no streetlights out here, and I had a feeling that there were men lurking in the shadows, just waiting for us to exit the car. Even with the doubt settling in the pit of my stomach, I threw open the car door, stepping out onto the asphalt.

            Erwin followed after me, and he was nothing but a dark shadow against the night sky. “Is this it?”

            I rounded the hood of the car, coming to stand next to him. “No. There still some ways to go, but we’re close.”

            “Too close,” someone said in the darkness, causing us to jump up. “Boss told us to keep an eye out for ya. Told us you were a stubborn one. He gave us permission to hurt ya, if you came back. Lucky for us, you did. Now we get to have some fun. Right boys?”

            “That’s right,” another voice said to our left. “But what about the other one? Too tall to be the short kid from before.”

            “Well, shine a light on him, then.”

            A light flickered on in front of us, training on Erwin. The men gave him a quick once over before they nodded.

            “That’s gotta be the kid Boss don’t want us to hurt,” one man said—the same man that had held me captive earlier today. He had his eyes on me, a smile lifting the corners of his mouth. “I want that one. He was giving me trouble earlier. Had to kick him around a bit, but it seems he hasn’t learned his lesson.”

            Erwin’s head jerked in my direction. “Eren, they were given orders to hurt you.”

            “Yeah, I got the memo.” Running wouldn’t do any good. I was pretty sure there were more men behind us. “Not like I can do anything.”

            “Ain’t that the truth,” my captor said, sucking on his teeth. “Boss said I could hurt you, and I plan on it.”

            Erwin held up his hands. “Wait. I asked him to bring me. I wanted to see your boss. Eren was the only one who knew where to find him. He wouldn’t have come back, if it weren’t for my request.”

            My captor pulled out a knife from his back pocket. “That don’t matter. I’ll just tell the Boss that you didn’t tell me that until after I stabbed him a few times.”

            “I’ll tell him you’re lying,” Erwin said. “Who do you think he’ll believe? If he doesn’t want you to hurt me, then that means I’m of importance to him. If you hurt Eren in any way, I’ll hurt myself and tell your boss that you did it.”

            “Ain’t you a tricky one?” The man gave me one last look before he stuffed his knife back into his pocket. “I’ll play along with your rules for now. But if he gives me any trouble, I ain’t gon’ hold back.”

            Erwin nodded once. “He won’t give you any trouble. Now where’s your boss? I came here to speak to him.”

            My captor jerked his head toward the alleyway. “Follow us. We’ll take you to him.”

            One of the men began walking, and we trailed after him. My captor moved behind me right away, keeping a close distance. I knew that at the first signs of trouble, he was going to take out that knife and jab it into wherever it would land on my body. It was probably killing him not to do it right now.

            The alleyway was even more eerie at night, the stench of the dumpsters powerful and overwhelming. Erwin had taken on a cool façade, his face impassive as he strode beside me. He resembled his old self, and the way he had protected me back there made me realize that maybe he wasn’t just wearing Erwin Smith’s face.

            As we reached the planks, Erwin signaled for me to go ahead of him. I opened my mouth to protest, but his eyes darted to the man that had kept behind since we left my car, and I got what he was saying.

            Crossing the canal was hard at night, even with the flashlight illuminating my way. Every so often, the light would jerk to the left, and I’d almost lose my footing. I looked back at the men over my shoulder, narrowing my eyes as I saw my captor’s hand shoot out to hit the flashlight one of the other men was holding.

            When I finally made it across, I kept a close watch on Erwin. He crossed a lot quicker than I had, coming to stand next to me as we waited for the men to catch up to us.

            After the men made it to the other side, they hurried us into the abandoned building, and I saw that the two people from earlier were still there, in the same positions. They were dead, and the fact that that didn’t seem to bother any of the men made me feel sick to my stomach. In fact, this whole situation made me feel sick.

            Earlier, I had scolded Levi for not telling anyone where he was going. Yet here I was, doing the exact same thing. I wasn’t only putting my life in danger, though. I had brought Erwin out here, which meant he was my responsibility. If anything happened to him, it would be my fault.

            “Just gotta cross the field now,” my captor said from behind me, fiddling with his back pocket, trying to provoke me.

            I didn’t focus on anything else but the warehouse in front of us. It wouldn’t do me any good to pay attention to the man taunting me. He was only hoping that he could get me to react so he could shove that knife into me and not get blamed for it. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction.

            With the warehouse within feet of us, I finally allowed myself to relax. Once Mike saw Erwin, everything would go smoothly. Erwin would explain why I came back, and Mike would drop the order giving his men the right to hurt me.

            “Hold up,” one man said, moving ahead of us. “Boss don’t like getting disturbed at night unless it’s important. There’s a certain knock we’re supposed to do.” He lifted up his hand, balling it into a fist to rap it against the wooden door.      

            Minutes felt like hours as I waited for any sign of stirring on the other side of the door, and when it came, the relief I felt was tangible.

            The door swung open on its hinges and Mike stood in the doorway with a gun in his hand. His eyes swept over the men before they settled on me. “What the hell are you doing back here, Eren? I thought I told—”

            “I asked him to bring me,” Erwin said, cutting him off.

            Mike’s eyes widened as they slid over to look at the boy who had spoken. “What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be here.”

            “I wanted to see you. Eren told me that you wanted to protect me against me regaining my memories from another life, but…I don’t want to be protected.”

            “Is this a set up?” Mike snapped, eyes training on me. “Is Eren making you do this? Is he threatening you in any way? If he is, give me some type of signal. I won’t hesitate to kill him, you understand?”

            Erwin shook his head. “No, Eren isn’t threatening me with anything. I wanted to come of my own free will. I wanted to know why you want to protect me. I want to not feel so alone anymore.”

            That got Mike’s attention, and his eyes drifted back to lock on Erwin’s face. “You feel alone? But you seemed so happy.”

            “I’m a very good pretender.”

            “Come inside, then,” Mike said, stepping aside. “It’s cold out here, and I have a fire going. I can cook you up something, too, if you’d like.”

            Erwin walked into the warehouse, taking in his surroundings. “I’m fine, thank you.”

            “All right. If you change your mind, the offer will still be available.” Mike turned to look at me. “Come on in, Eren. There’s lots to talk about, and I wouldn’t want you to freeze out here.”

            “Sure about that?” I said. “You did give your men the order to hurt me. The man over there wanted to stab me.”

            My captor’s mouth fell open. “No, Boss, I didn’t! I listened to what that young man over there said, and I didn’t hurt a hair on his head. I swear it.”

            “It’s all right, Luke. Eren is fine. You guys can go on back to your posts. If I need anything, I’ll give you guys the signal.”

            The men nodded before turning around and disappearing into the darkness. I watched after them until the door shut, blocking my view of the outside world. It still smelt like rot in here, but it was better then being tied up. At least Hanji and Levi were safe, and by the looks of it, I’d be safe, too.

            “Have a seat,” Mike said, gesturing to a chair pushed up against the wall. Erwin went and sat down, his eyes never once leaving Mike’s face. “So, you want your memories triggered?”

            Erwin nodded. “I… We were close, weren’t we? I feel like I know you. You just seem so familiar.”

            “Yes, we were very close. Just by seeing me, your memories could have already been triggered. It’s a very slow process at first. It starts out like how you’re feeling now: like something is familiar, yet you can’t grasp onto what that something is. That’s why I stayed away from you.”

            “So that’s all?” Erwin asked. “There’s no sudden flashbacks, or anything like that?”

            Mike shook his head. “No. Those come later, and they aren’t pleasant. They’ll disrupt your life.”

            “I see.”

            “It gets better,” I said, feeling the need to add that in. “At first, it’s a lot to handle, but you have a lot of people that knew you in our past life. You won’t be alone.”

            He sighed. “I don’t think Hanji or Levi are interested in helping me get through this.”

            “They are.” I looked at him. “Once they know you’re regaining your memories, they’ll let bygones be bygones.”

            “Let’s hope so. I’ve caused a lot of trouble for them, and for you.”

            Mike seemed pained that Erwin was hurting. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. They’ll understand. Like Eren said: Once they know you’re remembering, they’ll forgive you for the things you’ve done.”

            Erwin peered up at him then, nodding his head once. Then he said, in a stern voice, “I want you to tell me everything. I want to know all about Commander Erwin Smith.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm emotional. I don't even know how I'm going to write the next two chapters without crying. AH! 
> 
> I can't even think passed that, but, as always, thank you for the comments, the kudos, and the endless support. I truly appreciate every single one of you. ❤


	29. Uplifted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't been responding to comments. I'm so busy, it's ugh. But I've read all of them, and I thank each of you who took the time to reach out to me. 
> 
> This chapter gave me the feels, because it brings me closer to the end of this fic. The feels are strong right now. I may cry. I don't know yet! 
> 
> Anyhoo, go on and read. :)

At six o’clock in the morning, Erwin woke me up. I guess I had fallen asleep while him and Mike talked throughout the night.

            I sat up, encountering the smell of rot that immediately reminded me that I wasn’t at home, and that I hadn’t called Armin to tell him where I was. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had alerted the whole gang, including Levi. Damn, I needed to get back to my car. I didn’t have service out here.

            After I stood up, I looked over at Mike, who was still sitting in the same position he had been before I passed out. Though he looked tired, he also looked incredibly happy—very different from when I first saw him. That meant things went well. At least I hoped that was the reason behind him smiling like a moron.

            Erwin distracted me from my thoughts by putting his hand on my shoulder, jerking his chin in the direction of the front door. “Come on. I think we need to talk.”

            “Yeah, I think we do, too,” I said, falling into step with him as he made his way out of the warehouse. “So, how did things go? Mike seems happy.”

            He stopped a little ways into the open field, tilting his head up to look at the clear blue sky. “Things went great. I feel at peace. I don’t remember anything yet. Mike said it would take time, but, I don’t know how to explain it, I feel…relieved.” He turned his head to look at me. “I’m guessing this is how Levi felt when he found you, which also makes me feel like a piece of shit. I’ve done wrong by him. So, I suppose what I’m trying to say is: Feel like making one more stop today?”

            “Yeah, I really do.”

            He nodded, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat. “Just give me a minute. I’m going to go say bye to Mike.”

            “All right.”

            As I waited for him outside, I knew what he meant when he said he felt at peace. That was the feeling that was running through me now, but for a whole different reason. It was finally over. There were no more barriers in the way of keeping my relationship with Levi. Erwin was in the first stages of remembering, and would no longer pose a threat. We were officially in the clear.

            So, like the total idiot that I was, I began to sob wretchedly. I could blame the fact that I only slept for three hours on the roughest floor ever, but that wasn’t the case. I was happy. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my chest, and I could finally relax.

            When Erwin came back out, he took one look at me and said, “You really love him, don’t you?”

            I didn’t even bother to wipe away the tears on my face, because more would replace them. “You have no idea.”

            “I owe you an apology, too, Eren. I’ve been a prick.”

            “That you have,” I murmured. “But it’s over now. So let’s get our asses back to the car, because there’s only one person in the world that I want to see right now.”

            I couldn’t stop smiling as I drove to Levi’s house, because I knew there was nothing left to keep us apart. I could lay with him for hours on end, and no one would try to stop us. We could watch crappy movies together, eat cruddy food at cruddier restaurants, and talk about the shitty weather whenever we wanted to. We could do all these things without anyone trying to interfere, and that made me the happiest guy on earth.

            When I reached his house an hour later, I felt like I was floating around on cloud nine. I barely remembered that he was less than happy with me as I lunged out of the car, but even that couldn’t stop me. I was knocking on his door faster than Erwin could even unbuckle his seatbelt.

            My heart rate skyrocketed as the door swung open, revealing Levi rubbing his eye from sleepiness, dressed in a huge sweater of mine that I had let him borrow weeks ago. Before he could even react to me standing there, I pulled him into an embrace, whirling him around fast enough for his slippers to fly off his feet.

            “What the hell is going on, Eren?” he asked, but he was laughing, clinging onto me as he buried his face against my neck.

            “I love you,” I said. “I love you so fucking much. I’d never give up on us.”

            He leaned back, looking down at me. “You smell.”

            I laughed, because of course he would worry about the way I smelt. “I just poured my heart and soul out to you, and you’re worried about the way I smell? God, you’re perfect.”

            “Put me down.” As I set him down on his feet, he added, “What’s this all about?”

            “I think I can explain that,” Erwin said, coming up behind me.

            Levi’s eyes narrowed as they focused on him, his smile disappearing within seconds. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

            I held up my hands. “I brought him. I think you should listen to what he has to say.”

            For a second, I thought he wasn’t going to listen to me. That he was just going to reach out and slam the door shut on Erwin’s face. Then he let out a sigh, his face relaxing.

            “Fine,” he said. “But only because Eren said so.”

            Erwin stepped into the entryway after that. “I don’t blame you for being mad. You have every right to be. And if you want to kick me out after I’m through telling you what I have to say, then I’ll understand.”

            Levi rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. “Just shut up and come into the living room. And you”—he pointed to me—“Go up to my bathroom and wash up. You smell disgusting.”

            I saluted him. “Yes, sir.”

            Though I hadn’t slept much, I wasn’t the least bit tired. I was too hyped up on everything that had happened. This was the first time since I had found Levi in this life that I didn’t have something hanging over my head, threatening to tear him away from me. I could probably run a damn marathon on the exhilaration I was feeling.

            Once I was in the bathroom, I took off my clothing, all but dancing into the tub. I didn’t even care when the cold water hit my chest. Well, _I_ didn’t care. My lower body definitely wasn’t pleased with my rash decision, but it would have to deal with it, because I wasn’t going to let anything ruin my day.

            After I scrubbed myself clean, I dried off, deciding to go commando since I didn’t have another set of clothes to change into. Tugging on my jeans, I poked my head out the door, making sure Petra wasn’t anywhere in sight before I traipsed out into the hallway shirtless. Seeing no one, I made my way into Levi’s bedroom, shutting the door behind me.

            His bed looked far too inviting for me not to throw myself onto it, so I did just that, slipping under the blankets in the process. I guess I was a lot more tired than I felt, because I fell asleep within seconds of my head hitting the pillow. When I opened my eyes again, I was met with Levi’s face being inches from mine.

            He placed his hand on my chest, feeling my heartbeat beneath his palm. “You risked your life for me.”

            I put my hand over his, looking up into those gray eyes that I loved so much. “You did the same for me.”

            He leaned down, letting his head take the place of his hand. “It’s really over, isn’t it? Erwin told me that he wouldn’t be standing in our way anymore. We can actually be together now without any worries.”

            “Yeah,” I said, kissing the top of his head. “It’s just me and you…always.”

            He held his left hand out, spinning the promise ring I had given him around his finger using his thumb. “Eternity.”

            “Eternity,” I confirmed.

            Levi turned his head, pressing fevered kisses to my chest, instantly rousing me out of my I-barely-woke-up state of mind. I slid my fingers into his hair, hissing in a breath as he gently nipped down my stomach, looking up at me when he reached the waistband of my jeans.

            “Your mom,” I began.

            “Isn’t here,” he finished, undoing the button without a second thought. He took hold of the zipper, sliding it down for his eyes to dart up to mine. “Going commando, are we?”

            “Well yeah. It’s not like I have a change of boxers.”

            “Hmm…” He pulled down my jeans, licking up the underside of my cock as he did. I shivered, trying to keep my hips from jerking up. “You’re really responsive today.”

            “We haven’t done it since Christmas. Cut me some slack.”

            “I didn’t say that I didn’t like it, now did I?”

            Once my pants were off, he came to sit on my lap, thrusting his hips back and forth with a wicked little smile on his face. I was now sporting the hardest erection on planet earth. Also the most sensitive, because the next time he drove his hips forward, I let out an embarrassingly loud cry.

            He covered his mouth with his hand, muffling his chuckles.

            “Just wait,” I said, sitting up to take hold of his waist. “I’m going to remind you just how loud you can be.” I flipped him around, switching our positions. Now on his back, I grabbed both his wrists in my right hand, pinning them above his head. He arched up toward me as I pushed his shirt up, uncovering his stomach and chest.

            Leaning down, I took one of his nipples into my mouth, satisfied when he let out a gasp, his hips lurching up against my stomach. I ignored his needy movements, rolling my tongue across the hard nub before I pinched it between my teeth, eliciting a whine from his throat.

            “E-Eren—”

            I didn’t let him finish, leaving a trail of kisses along his chest as I moved my mouth over to his other nipple, giving it the same attention as the other. At this point, he was letting out little moans with every flick of my tongue, his arousal throbbing in its confines.

            Releasing his hands, I slid my fingers beneath the band of his boxers, wrapping them around his erection. He hissed in a breath through clenched teeth, his eyes squeezing shut. I pumped my hand at a slow pace, kissing down his firm stomach.

            “Eren, please…”

            “Tell me what you want me to do,” I whispered against his skin.

            “Don’t be stupid—AH!”

            I bit down on his hipbone, running my tongue across it afterward. Then I slid my hand up his chest, moving it up toward his face. I caressed his lips with my pointer and middle finger, surprised when he opened his mouth to swipe his tongue across them. My eyes flicked up to lock with his, and I watched as he took my fingers into his mouth, sucking on them with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

            That did it for me, and I used my free hand to push his boxers and pajama bottoms down his legs. All the while, he kept sucking on my fingers, moving his hands up to wrap them around my wrist. His eyes never left mine, making me feel weak with desire. How did he always manage to turn me into a blubbering mess who couldn’t even form words, let alone think at all.

            Sensing this, Levi turned onto his stomach, giving me the perfect view of his ass while he retrieved a small bottle of lube stashed in his bedside table. He tossed it to me, spreading his legs in an open invitation. Yes. He was going to be the death of me, and I was going to love every second of it.

            Popping open the cap, I poured a generous amount onto my fingers. The sight before me was perfect, but I wanted to catch him off guard, so I said, “Get on your hands and knees.”

            Like I expected, his eyes widened in surprise. “What?”

            “I want to see you on all fours.”

            He hesitated, coming to rest on his knees before he turned around. But he was also quick to get with the program, giving his ass a little wiggle as he looked back at me, his lower lip caught between his teeth.

            Fuck! He looked sexy as hell like that.

            Bending over him, I kissed up his spine as I moved my fingers against his entrance, slipping one inside, watching his back arch beneath my lips. “You’re so perfect.”

            His head dropped onto his arms, which were crossed at the wrists. I knew I hit his prostate when he let out a sharp cry, his whole body shuddering. I repeated the action, gently biting the skin of his lower back as he moaned loudly, pressing himself down onto my fingers.

            “Stop teasing,” he breathed.

            “You don’t want my fingers?” I goaded him further, slipping a second finger inside. “What do you want then?”

            “I want— _oh, fuck!_ —your cock.”

            I had no patience for teasing anymore, so I sat up straight, sliding my fingers out to put the head of my member at his entrance. I slowly pushed inside, my mouth dropping open on a strained moan. Once I was in as far as I could go, I grabbed onto his hips, keeping still for a moment to allow him to adjust.

            He pushed his ass back, breathing out, “Don’t you dare stop.”

            Not wasting a second of time, I thrust into that delicious heat, digging my nails into his skin as our bodies moved together as one. I set a rhythm that pushed him forward on the bed with each jerk of my hips.

            Our moans filled the room, and I slid my hand from his hip, to his stomach, urging him back. He caught on to what I wanted, coming to rest on his knees, crying out when I thrust up at this new angle. He reached back to tangle his fingers in my hair, turning his head to kiss me, slipping his tongue into my mouth.

            I wrapped my hand around his cock, moving it up and down his swollen length, feeling him tug on my hair in response. His lips broke away from mine as he pushed his hips down onto me insistently, his head falling back onto my shoulder.

            My entire body felt hot to the touch as I got closer to the edge, slamming up into Levi’s tight body, muffling the noises I was making by burying my face in the crook of his neck.

            Levi came suddenly, his member jerking in my hand as I continued to pump it in time with my thrusts. It didn’t take long for me to reach my own release; biting down on his shoulder to stifle the moans I had no control over as I spilled myself into him.

            Afterwards, he sagged against me, and I pressed a kiss to his neck, wrapping my arms around his waist, careful not to dirty him up.

            “Goddamn,” he said after he caught his breath.

            “Goddamn is right.”

            He chuckled. “We need to clean up.”

            “We do.”

            “I can’t move.”

            “Give me two minutes to recover,” I said.

            We stayed like that for a while, breathing hard. When my body didn’t feel like jelly, I pulled out of him, ignoring the look of distaste on his face. I laid him down on his back, pecking his cheek before I forced my limbs to cooperate with me enough to get out of bed.

            The second I was out of his bedroom, I was highly aware of my nakedness, and the fact that Petra could come home at any moment… If she wasn’t already, that is. With that thought plaguing my mind, I sprinted to the bathroom, throwing myself into it the second it was within reach. Slamming the door shut, I let out a relieved sigh, gathering up the essentials I would need to clean Levi up.

            After I had them in hand, I listened for any movement out in the hallway. Hearing none, I ran back to Levi’s room, glad when I was hidden from view when I closed the door behind me.

            “Hurry up,” Levi grumbled from where he lay. “I’m tired. You exhausted me. Are you happy now?”

            “Extremely.” I walked over to his bed, cleaning him up thoroughly, knowing he wouldn’t like anything less. With the job done, I tossed everything in the trash, coming to lie down next to him. “What do you want to do later on today? We can do anything you want.”

            He smiled, rolling over to rest his head on my chest. “Anything with you will do.”

            “Feel like going to watch a movie?”

            “Yeah. Whichever one is playing in the theatre room we first saw each other in this life.”

            “What if it’s some kids’ movie?”

            “Then we’ll make out at a kids’ movie,” he said, shutting his eyes. “I meant when I said anything will do, so long as I’m with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Eren.”

            I grinned; glad he wasn’t watching me, because I was pretty sure that I looked like some teen girl fangirling over their crush. “I could propose to you right now.”

            He smacked my arm. “Absolutely not. It should be romantic. Buy me some damn flowers. Get all sappy and shit.”

            I laughed. “You’re probably only saying this ‘cause you’re half asleep.”

            “Most likely, but I’m serious. Treat me like a damn gentleman. You better be dressed fabulously, too.”

            “Anything else, your majesty?”

            “As a matter of fact, yes. You better get down on one knee, or I will slay you. Don’t be like some of those pricks that just stand there holding out the ring like some douche. I want you looking up at me with those pretty damn eyes of yours, holding that ring box open like in the movies.”

            I couldn’t handle this. He was too cute. “You’re too adorable for your own good. Do you know that?”

            He tilted his head back to look at me, crinkling his nose. “I’m not adorable. How many times do I have to tell you this?”

            “For the rest of your days, because you _are_ adorable.”

            “I’m too tired to argue with you right now. But just you wait until after my nap, because this discussion definitely isn’t over. Now let me sleep.”

            It only took a few minutes for him to pass out, and I stayed awake, playing with his silky hair. Knowing that we were naked kept me on high alert, because I didn’t want Petra to come home and walk into his room to see us like this. That would not be something I ever wanted to happen—not today, not ever.

            As I felt Levi’s chest rise and fall, an incredible happiness washed over me. This was what I had to look forward to every day, sharing these simple moments together, moments that meant everything to me and more.

            “I love you,” I whispered to him as he slept, leaning my head down to kiss him on the lips—lips that I would kiss for the rest of my life, and hopefully many lives to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yes, before I forget, I have started a new fanfic. It's not Ereri, it's Riren. If you have no idea what that means, it means Levi tops and Eren bottoms. I'm not expecting all of you to follow that fic, as it's very different from this one, but those of you who do, I am glad that you will be tagging along with me on another Levi x Eren journey. :)
> 
> Honestly, thank you guys so much for keeping to this fic, and for the endless amount of support. You guys have been perfect. 
> 
> Next chapter will be an epilogue type dealio, in which we'll fast forward a few years. I'm looking forward to writing it, and I hope you all are looking forward to reading it. 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, commenting, and leaving me kudos. ♡


	30. Epilogue - Until We Meet Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is: the final chapter. I am emotional, but also very happy that I managed to finish this fan fiction. If I say anything more, I'll cry. So...
> 
> Go on and read. :)

_Three years later, on Christmas Eve_

The day before Christmas, I was a nervous wreck. It felt like at any moment my stomach was going to drop straight out of my ass. That didn’t even describe what I was feeling, but it came pretty damn close. It didn’t help that I couldn’t stop fidgeting, constantly straightening the collar of my black button-down with shaky fingers.

            “Relax,” Mikasa said for the fifth time, readjusting the tie around my neck since I had messed it up with my fiddling. “You look great.”

            “I’m going to puke.” I was sure of it. There was no holding it back. Nerves worked wonders on my body. Wonders that I would’ve preferred not creeping up on me a few minutes before I was going to pick up Levi.

            She grinned at me, placing her hands on my shoulders. “You’ll be fine.”

            I nodded, unable to formulate words at the moment. My mind was a jumbled mess, and I couldn’t even begin to unravel the thoughts that were crossing my mind. This was really happening. Even though I knew Levi like the back of my hand, that didn’t help me feel any less anxious about tonight.

            “Do you have everything?” Mikasa asked.

            “Yeah.” But even as I said it, I patted my pants pockets to reassure myself that I wasn’t forgetting anything important. “We’re good.”

            “Ok, so are you ready to head out?”

            I was more than ready. I just wished that my body would understand that and start cooperating with me. Right now it was determined to keep me incapable of any bodily functions. “I will be once my legs start working.”

            She rolled her eyes, looping her arm through mine to tug me out of my bedroom. She led me through the kitchen to get to the backdoor, turning the knob to push it open. The cold air nipped at my face, but I welcomed it. It served as a distraction, and right now, that’s what I needed to not feel like I was on the verge of losing the ability to walk.

            Once I was inside my car, I took a deep breath, smiling wide when I realized what I was about to do.

            Mikasa leaned in to look at me. “You ok?”

            “Yeah.”

            “Call me afterwards. We’ll all be waiting.”

            “Okay.” I hugged her, kissing her cheek before I pulled the door shut.

            Driving when my excitement was through the roof was never a good idea, but it did help me get to Levi’s apartment complex in record time. After he had turned eighteen, him and Hanji had rented an apartment together. It wasn’t too far from where he had lived before, considering he wanted to keep close to his mom. Since he remembered who she was, their bond between one another had strengthened.

            The second I parked by the curb, I was out of the car, speed walking up to his front door. It was a good thing he had an apartment on the first floor. I didn’t think I could handle stairs right now. My legs felt like spaghetti noodles.

            When I reached it, I rang the doorbell, the smile on my face threatening to tear my cheeks apart when Levi opened the door. He leaned against the doorframe, taking in my appearance before he flicked my tie.

            “Feeling fancy tonight?”

            I laughed. “Yes. Are you ready, or do you still need some time? I could always wait.”

            He shook his head, stepping out onto the front patio. He pulled the door shut behind him, reaching forward to take my hand. “I’m ready. Let’s go.”

            I tried not to drag him to the car, but it was hard not to show my excitement. Luckily for me, he didn’t seem to notice. Then again, he was good at hiding his emotions, something he had mastered over the past year or so. The more time passed, the more he became like his former self. Though I loved every thing about him, a part of me would always miss the blushing boy he’d been when I first met him in this life. Not that I couldn’t get him to blush every once in a while. I still had those skills intact.

            Reaching my car, I opened the passenger door for him, waiting for him to get settled in before I shut it. It was at this point that my heart decided to go on a rampage, causing my breathing to accelerate. This didn’t go unnoticed by Levi, who stared at me questioningly as I sat down in the driver’s seat and started the engine up.

            “Are you okay?” he asked. “You look like you’re constipated.”

            I glared at him. “No I don’t.”

            He chuckled. “Uh, yeah you do. What’s on your mind? We’re just going ice-skating tonight. Nothing to worry about.”

            I literally had to refrain myself from laughing in nervousness. “It’s nothing. It must’ve been something I ate.” I seriously just pulled that line, didn’t I? God, this is why you shouldn’t watch too many romantic comedies. They affected the way you approached situations such as the one I was in.

            “Whatever you say,” he said, switching the radio station. “I feel like I’m underdressed. You’re over there practically wearing a suit, and I’m wearing a T-shirt and jeans. Why do I feel like you’re not telling me something?”

            I shrugged. “I don’t know. You look perfect, though. You always do.”

            “You flatter me, but no. Let me hear you say that the next time I wake up after only getting two hours of sleep.”

            “I will say it,” I said. “Want to know why?” I turned to look at him, grinning. “Because you’re perfect to me.”

            He rolled his eyes, giving his head a little shake. “You’re so cheesy.”

            “I know this, but I mean it. I think you look good at all times.”

            “One of these days I’m going to test you. I’m going to shave my head, and dye my eyebrows blonde, then we’ll see how you feel toward me then.”

            I turned on my signal light to get into the right turn lane. “First of all, I know you would never do that. Second of all, your ass would still be fabulous whether you have hair or not.”

            “You bastard,” he muttered, leaning over the center console to shove my shoulder. “You’re secretly with me just for my ass.”

            I snorted. “Oh, you didn’t know this? I thought I made it perfectly clear. I mean, that ass is something else entirely.”

            He smacked my arm. “Take that back. I’m wounded.”

            “You’re not. You know how much I love you. Your ass could fall off, and I’d still tap that. That’s true love, baby.”

            He glanced at me for a number of seconds before he burst out laughing. “You’re so full of shit!”

            “I’m being serious.”

            “Just shut up and drive.” He was still laughing when I pulled into the skating rink parking lot. I shut off the car, turning to look at him, but he surprised me by leaning in to press a kiss to my lips. “You’re such a goof. But you’re my goof.”

            I smiled, pecking his check. “Exactly.”

            I practically leaped out of the car in order to reach his door before he could even attempt to open it. He gave me an odd look, but I just took his hand, leading him toward the outdoor skating rink. There weren’t a lot of people here, which was fine with me. I didn’t need an audience for what I was working up the nerve to do.

            “Go ahead,” Levi said, pointing to the small building next to the rink. “I’ll wait out here.”

            “All right.” I let go of his hand, walking up to the front entrance. The bell rung overhead as I stepped inside, alerting the employee standing behind the counter that a customer had walked in. She looked less than pleased to see me. I couldn’t blame her. Working on Christmas Eve was a drag.

            “Can I help you?” she asked, her eyes drooping like she couldn’t even understand why she was working.

            “Yeah, just need to rent some ice skates.”

            “Of course you do. What size?”

            After I told her the sizes I would need, I held out my debit card to her. She ignored it while retrieving the ice skates, finally yanking it out of my fingers to swipe it with a sneer on her face. She hadn’t even told me the price, but I wasn’t about to point that out to her. With how she was acting, I wouldn’t put it passed her to suddenly refuse me service.

            “Here,” she muttered, slamming the ice skates down onto the counter in front of me. “Thank you and have a _wonderful_ day.”

            I picked them up by the laces. “You too.”

            When I walked back out, I spotted Levi sitting on a bench in front of the rink. He was looking at a little family of three skating around hand in hand. I didn’t think anything of it until I reached him, seeing the longing on his face.

            He jumped up a bit as I sat down next to him, handing him a pair of ice skates. “Oh. I didn’t even see you coming.”

            “What are you thinking?”

            He sighed, slipping off his shoes. “Nothing much.”

            “Didn’t look that way to me,” I said. “Come on. Tell me.”

            He slid his right foot into the ice skate, not meeting my gaze. “I don’t know, Eren. I just… Do you think we could ever adopt a kid one day?”

            I froze in place while pulling off one of my shoes. He wanted a family? He had never mentioned wanting to adopt before, but now that he did, I realized that one day I would like to raise a kid with him, and that was enough to make me an emotional mess.

            “Forget I said anything,” Levi said, turning his face away from me. “It was a stupid thing to ask.”

            “What?” I dropped my shoe to reach out and cup his face. “It wasn’t stupid. I would love to adopt a kid with you someday.”

            “Really?”

            “Really.” I kissed his forehead before kneeling down to pick up the shoe that I had dropped. “You’d be the cutest dad ever. Oh, my god. I’d take so many pictures. You better start buying me SD cards now.”

            He smiled while putting on the other ice skate. When they were on, he stood up, balancing on the blades. He took several steps forward before turning around to hold his hand out to me. I took it, letting him pull me up to a stand. I wobbled the second I was on my feet, lifting my arm up to keep my balance.

            “I’ll laugh so hard if you fall,” Levi said.

            I scoffed. “Thank you. I feel the love.”

            “Shut up.” He pulled me toward the skating rink, and I tried my best not to trip on anything. I successfully managed to stay upright, but the instant I was on the ice, I almost did a face plant. “Eren spread your legs more.”

            I looked up at him, snagging the opportunity he had just laid out before me. “Baby, please, we’re not in the bedroom. Keep it rated PG. There are children present.” He let go of my hand. “Okay, I’m sorry. Don’t let me fall on my ass.”

            He grabbed both my hands this time around, pulling me along the ice as he maintained perfect balance. I was a little envious at his skills, especially when he maneuvered us around a couple that insisted on making out in the middle of the rink. I had half a mind to bump into them, sending them flying, but it was Christmas Eve. Therefore I wasn’t about to be a total jackass. It was still tempting, though. I couldn’t deny that.

            The more time passed, the more my stomach became a fluttering mess. Soon. I had to do it soon. The skating rink would close in an hour, and if I didn’t want to do it with the lights out, then I had to stop coming up with excuses to postpone it.

            While I was thinking this over, the blade of the ice skate caught on something and I fumbled forward, dragging Levi with me. I landed on my back hard enough to feel the impact reverberate throughout my body. But that wasn’t anything compared to when Levi fell on top of me.

            “Ow,” I said.

            “Shit.” Levi went to get off me, but I wrapped my arms around his waist, keeping him in place. “Eren, what are you doing? Everyone is staring at us.”

            “Let them.” Before I let him go, I leaned up to kiss his lips. “Let’s get off the ice for a while.”

            “I’m all for that,” he said, moving back to sit on his heels. He helped me up into a sitting position before he got to his feet. “I’m freezing my ass off, anyway.”

            We skated to the edge, and I was glad to be back on solid ground. I went to sit down on the same bench as earlier, taking off the ice skates to put my shoes back on. My nerves were shot. There was no way to be fully prepared for what I was about to do, but I had to man the hell up and do it.

            While he was tying up his laces, I let out a breath of air, waiting until he was finished to grab his hand. I didn’t give him an explanation, just stood up and steered him toward a place that wasn’t crowded.

            “Where are we going?” he asked from behind me.

            “You’ll find out.”

 

* * *

 

_Levi_

 

Eren was acting fishy. He had been since he came to pick me up. He was obviously up to something, but I couldn’t figure out what. Tomorrow was my birthday, so it could have something to do with some surprise gift, but I didn’t see why he would be so nervous over that.

            I let him lug me down a path that led us away from the skating rink, willing to trek through the snow so he could surprise me with whatever he was about to do. If it were up to me, I’d be back in the car with the heater on. Or at least sitting back on the bench with a cup of hot chocolate to warm me up.

            That’s when I remembered. “We just left our ice skates back there.”

            “Oh well,” he said. “If they get stolen, I’ll pay for them.”

            I didn’t argue with him, considering he didn’t seem to give a shit. He had this look of determination on his face, and I knew there was no going back until he did what he came out here to do.

            We stopped a good ways from the skating rink, and I looked around for any signs of something suspicious, but all I saw were trees and snow.

            I turned back around to Eren. “Want to fill me in on why you dragged me out here?”

            “Hold on,” he said. After a couple of minutes ticked by, he added, “I still remember what you said to me. You told me that you wanted me to get, and I quote, ‘All sappy and shit,’ and that I should dress fabulously. Hence the reason for my outfit.”

            My heart started racing in my chest. “Eren…” I knew what he was about to do, but I still gasped when he got down on one knee, looking up at me with those green eyes that drove me crazy.

            “I love you, Levi,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper as he pulled out a ring box from his pocket, opening it up to reveal a ring cradled in satin. “I want to wake up every morning and see you lying next to me for the rest of my life. I want the good, I want the bad, because if it’s with you, then it’s worth it.” He took my left hand and my knees went weak. “Levi Ral, will you marry me?”

            I couldn’t even breathe, so it was a wonder how I managed to say, “Yes,” tears pricking at my eyes as he slid the ring onto my finger.

            Then we were in each other’s arms and I kissed every inch of his face. Years ago, he had promised me an eternity, and now we were finally on our way there. I felt alight with happiness, and there was nowhere else in the world that I wanted to be except for right here in his arms.

            “I love you,” I said.

            He cupped my face with his hands, kissing me softly. “There’s an engraving on the ring.”

            I immediately leaned away from him, sliding the ring off my finger to look down at the small lettering inside the band. “‘Until we meet again.’”

            “For every lifetime I remember, I want to be with you.”

            The tears that I had kept at bay now ran down my cheeks. “You perfect, sappy man.”

            He didn’t even argue with me. “Let’s get back to the car. Mikasa wants me to call her. I’m pretty sure she has everyone at my apartment right now.”

            “No doubt,” I said, slipping the ring back on.

            We walked down the same path as before, but this time I was basically gliding on my feet, too happy to care about the cold. I kept glancing at the ring on my finger, unable to stop the smile that spread across my face. I was soon to be Levi Yeager, and if I didn’t bite down on my bottom lip, I would’ve let out an audible squeal.

            As we were getting near the rink, a little boy came running up to us, tears streaming down his face. I bent down to his height, and my mouth fell open, because he looked identical to Eren—same hair, same face. The only difference I could see were the color of his eyes, which were a beautiful honey color.

            “Eren,” I said, trying to get his attention without startling the little boy, but he was too busy looking around.

            “How do you know my name?” the little boy said, rubbing his cheeks with his mitten-clad hands. “I never told you it.”

            Okay, that was just too creepy. “Your name is Eren?”

            He nodded. “Yeah. I can’t find my mommy. Can you help me?”

            “Of course,” I said, reaching up to snag the hem of big Eren’s shirt, tugging on it insistently. He peered down at me. “Look at him.”

            Eren did, his eyes widening. “Holy sh—I mean, holy crap. Uh…”

            Sensing that he didn’t know what to say, I grabbed the little Eren’s hand, standing up. “Why don’t we go find your mom, ok?”

            “Okay.”

            Eren and I exchanged glances, but didn’t say anything as we walked back to the skating rink. We hadn’t even made it there yet when someone called out, “EREN! EREN!”

            I spotted a woman running toward us, her dark-brown hair tied off to the side. She fell to her knees when she reached us, pulling little Eren into her arms.

            “You can’t just run off like that,” she said, scanning him from head to foot. “You scared me half to death.” She finally looked up at me. “Thank you. I’m sorry if he gave you any trouble.”

            “No, he wasn’t any trouble at all.” I wanted to ask about his appearance, but now that I was really looking at her, I noticed that she looked like Eren, as well. Maybe it was just a coincidence. At least that’s what I thought until I turned back around to Eren, who was staring at the woman with wide, unbelieving eyes. “Eren?”

            “He told you his name?” the woman asked. “That’s new. He usually doesn’t take to strangers.”

            I shook my head. “No, he didn’t tell me. That’s his name, too.” I pointed to the man standing next to me, and her eyes moved over to him. Then she clamped her hands over her mouth, staring up at him as though he were a ghost.

            Okay, this was definitely not a coincidence.

            “Do… Do you remember who I am?” the woman asked. Eren nodded, still not saying a word. “Oh, Eren. My baby boy. I finally get to see you again.” She stood up and wrapped her arms around him, then it finally clicked. That was his mom from our other life.

            I wanted to give them their moment, to sit back and watch them cry as they were finally reunited, but little Eren had other things on his mind. He reached out to grab the back of her coat, pulling on it with his small hands.

            “Mommy,” he said. “Why are you hugging that strange man? I want to go home. Papa said he was going to make my favorite dinner. Remember?”

            She turned around, ruffling his hair. “I remember.”

            “He looks like me,” my Eren said, still clinging onto the woman.

            “That’s because I found your father in this life. We’ve been married for the past ten years. He would love to see you, Eren.”

            “I’d love to see him, too.”

            Suddenly she turned around to focus her attention on me. “I’m sorry. I’m acting so rude.” She held her hand out to me. “I’m Carla Yeager, and you are?”

            I shook her hand. “Levi. It’s nice to meet you.”

            Eren wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me against him. He didn’t even look nervous as he said, “He’s my fiancé.”

            I was waiting for shock to cross Carla’s features, for her eyes to dart from him to me in surprise, but all she did was smile wider at me.

            “Are you two busy tonight?” she asked. “I’d love to have you over for dinner. That is, if you're free. It's Christmas Eve, after all.”

            “Levi?” Eren turned to peer at me for confirmation. I could see the desire on his face. 

            “We’re not busy,” I said. “We’d love to come over.”

            She nodded, picking up her little boy. “Then it’s set. My car is just up the road. You guys can follow me there. My house isn’t too far from here.”

            “All right,” Eren murmured, taking my hand. We followed behind her, and the happiness that I had felt moments ago seemed to double. The man I loved more than anything else in this world found his mother, and she was happy and safe. What more could I ask for on Christmas Eve? This night had been perfect.

            And as I felt Eren’s fingers lace through mine, I knew that as long as I had him, every night would feel like this.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it. That's the end of Our Cryptic Love. Though it has only been two months and some days since I sat down to write this, this has been a wonderful journey. It makes me incredibly happy to have finished this, but I'm also sad to say bye to my babies (200+ pages on Microsoft Word). They will always be missed, and I will definitely write short stories about them, so subscribe to my author page to get an email when I post anything new. I really want to write them a wedding, and adopting a little baby, and omg! The feels are strong.
> 
> Guys, before I turn into an emotional wreck, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for reading, for sticking around till the very end, and for supporting me nonstop. You guys have been the best to me, and I'm so grateful! You have no idea!
> 
> I'm going to go cry now. Once again, thank you for everything! <3


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